Multiple months in, obsession continues

[Tetsuo1985]

I had 6 months of no games before the covid shutdowns. Then I went back to it for a month or 2. Now I've been off games for 5 and a half months. I still consume gaming content every day. I watch reviews, analyses, streams and gameplay videos. I'm basically constantly on the edge of relapse. I don't have much hope that there's some destination happiness for me in the future. I just try not to fuck things up and make things worse than they have to be. I want to try gaming again, even if I have to quit again. It's hard to let go of something that was such a source of wonder and excitement for me in the past. I don't think I can get that feeling back and that's what sucks. I'm accepting that life is just shit and it actually makes me feel good to let go of the tension within myself that says if I can just get certain material things in life that everything will be okay. We're all constantly decaying and dying. There's unavoidable suffering in every moment. I know gaming will make that suffering worse. But it's tempting as an idea of a momentary escape.

[Velhic]

I’m gonna give you the frank advice that you probably need to hear.

You’re just gonna have to quit watching reviews and other video game content.

You have come along way, but you still have a long way to go.

The excitement and wonder will come back through new skills and challenges.

And the excitement won’t be with a FAKE world, but with what YOU are capable of doing in LIFE.

[Alagos]

I agree you have to not only quit playing video games, but also remove all video game content otherwise it will only tempt you to play. Video game reviewers and streamers are basically advertisements for games. Even though content creators just do it to make money, the game companies love it cos it gives their game advertisement/exposure without them having to pay anything!

[NEXRAD]

Honest time here:

You have to quit watching streams, video game content, and analysis. You are are all in or all out. It is hell to be one foot in and one foot out. But ultimately that is your decision. That is my advice to you.