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NEW VIDEO: Psychologist's WARNING About VIDEO GAMES

Day 7: Need advice.


Dpesuti
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how do you get someone who has never been addicted to anything to feel how you feel? My mother has no idea how I feel. When I tell her that I’m having emotional turmoil because I’m suffering from withdrawal, she assumes that I’m confusing it with depression and I should just get exercise or get medication, and that’s been her broken record advice for all of my life.

She and dad couldn’t tell that I was addicted when I was a kid, so they would punish me constantly for what they thought was rebelliousness, which made me need games even more. She needs to know that not everything can be solved with exercise or a pill. Granted, I could use some exercise, but that’s not the source of my suffering, and neither is a lack of depression medication. I matched all 9 of the signs for gaming addiction, so this is what I should be focusing on.

My Dad has gone through substance addictions, so he more- or-less understands how I feel. I haven’t talked to him about it yet though.

Have any of you gone through similar situations?

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@Dpesuti

If your mom is not understanding what you are going through, I would hold your ground on the matter and not let her advice influence you too much since she has not gone through it herself. 

As for your dad, he would be the better person to discuss your early detox symptoms with as he will be more understanding about what you are going through if he has gone through the recovery process himself and would be better able to empathize with you and support you better. 

Thankfully, my parents were both very much in favor of me quitting games and all the people I know at church are 100% in support of me finding freedom from it. My dad had suffered and recovered from Facebook addiction prior to me freeing myself from video game addiction so he understands the withdrawal symptoms.

Ultimately, my advice would be this: Don't let what your mom says deter you from your journey. Your journey is your own and I wouldn't let what others (even family) says about it influence the outcome. 

Make it clear to your mom that you know what it actually is, tell her about how your behavior patterns align with the 9 signs of addiction, and ask for her support in your journey (along the lines of cheering you on) and not necessarily ask for her for practical help as she doesn't seem to be familiar with what it is like to recover from addiction.  She can be someone you can vent to about what you are going through but not necessarily get practical advice from on how to deal with the withdrawal. 

I would also advice you to give the thought of talking to your dad about what you are going through a try especially if he has gone through the process of recovery himself. 

Another piece of advice is: Feel free to reach out to me or anyone else on the forum you see being active on a daily basis. We have all gone through the same journey. I can say I was feeling the same way as you 60 days ago so I know how it is like to feel intense withdrawal for the early stages of addiction recovery. If you need anything, feel free to DM me on the forum and I can message you back when I am able. 

Hope my advice was helpful. 😅

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Thanks so much @amchow, I’ll follow that advice. My Dad and I haven’t always been on the best of terms, but we’re good now, so I will talk to him about it. I won’t push my mom away either though, I just have to save the practical stuff for Dad.

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Hey, same situation here. I had been addicted to games most of my life, and it's quite disappointing how my parents couldn't see the effect my gaming addiction had on my school grades, personality, self-esteem and social skills. Connecting with people on this website and sharing my thoughts has been very helpful to me.

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Thanks Stanley,

 

my dad gave me some encouraging but sobering advice. He said that my brain will never get over games and that the only way to fight those urges for the rest of my life would be to replace them with other things to do. He said that not a day goes buy where he didn’t wish he could get high again, but he knows that if he did get high, he would immediately become addicted again. Right now he gardens and brews alcohol. He likes to build and repair things as well, like right now he is renovating a room in their house, and after that he will start working on the upstairs bathroom. It’s when he can’t do all those things that he starts going crazy and has to look for other productive things to do.

Mom thinks that splitting my free-time between 2 or 3  non-game activities and getting into a routine with them would ensure that I don’t become obsessive over one thing. Someone with addictive personality can make anything an addiction.

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@Dpesuti

Both of your mom and dad's advice is good to start with. 

What I will say in contrast to your Dad is your brain will get over games in the sense that urges and cravings will seem unintelligible (like a foreign language you don't know) and you will find it easy to ignore them when they do come. Thus I encourage you again. It will get easier as time goes on and the start of your detox gets farther and farther away to the point where not gaming becomes a permanent way of life and gaming becomes something you find foreign to you. 

Your mom's advice is good. I've personally gotten into a routine with doing one Korean lesson, one typing lesson and one coding lesson a day at a minimum. I've built a daily routine with them and it's been good with keeping me busy. To me, being addicted to something that has more to give to real life is better than being addicted to something that has nothing to give to real life. 

For example, I would rather spend hours learning to code or working on a coding project or 3D model than spending the same amount of time on games. Coding and 3D modeling have lots of potential job opportunities in tech and industrial production companies whereas gaming has nothing much to offer in the real world. 

I'm certain you will find something to replace games. If you haven't already, take a look at the Hobby Tool Cam has for anyone who needs a great list of options: https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/

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16 hours ago, Dpesuti said:

Thanks Stanley,

 

my dad gave me some encouraging but sobering advice. He said that my brain will never get over games and that the only way to fight those urges for the rest of my life would be to replace them with other things to do. He said that not a day goes buy where he didn’t wish he could get high again, but he knows that if he did get high, he would immediately become addicted again. Right now he gardens and brews alcohol. He likes to build and repair things as well, like right now he is renovating a room in their house, and after that he will start working on the upstairs bathroom. It’s when he can’t do all those things that he starts going crazy and has to look for other productive things to do.

Mom thinks that splitting my free-time between 2 or 3  non-game activities and getting into a routine with them would ensure that I don’t become obsessive over one thing. Someone with addictive personality can make anything an addiction.

That's what I'm trying to do. I currently focus on developing my piano, programming and fitness skills, and I know if I don't do any of these 3, I will go back to playing games again. Whenever I think about playing/watching video games, I decide to practice my piano, or programming skills. So far it has worked for me.

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12 hours ago, Stanly Kwok said:

That's what I'm trying to do. I currently focus on developing my piano, programming and fitness skills, and I know if I don't do any of these 3, I will go back to playing games again. Whenever I think about playing/watching video games, I decide to practice my piano, or programming skills. So far it has worked for me.

Glad to here, I’m having trouble with painting though. I’ve never done it before and I’m trying to start from scratch.

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