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Is it normal to feel like there's nothing without games?


audley
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Four o'clock in the morning. I've taken too much caffeine. Just got off of my favorite game, frustrated. Haven't slept. Been up for 15 hours staring at my computer screen. Will probably sleep until 2 PM and then start the cycle all over again.

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This happens so often that I just want to pull my hair out. And about the title - I know it may seem obvious. Yes it's normal to feel like there would be nothing without games if you are addicted to gaming. However, even knowing this I cannot help but feel terrified at the thought of never gaming again. Gaming isn't fun anymore. Moreover, it's a way for me to exercise my OCD by trying to achieve perfection in my virtual characters. I know this is an issue for me, but I cannot stop. I know that my life would improve if I could stop gaming. I'm so scared of not being able to game, that my anxiety shoots through the roof and I have panic attacks. How do I break this cycle? Ugh.

Apologies if this has been asked before. I'm suffering with no idea on what to do next.

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Hi @audley!
 

28 minutes ago, audley said:

I'm suffering with no idea on what to do next.

This is what scared me a lot. The "what if I quit or what if I didn't quit" question.

30 minutes ago, audley said:

How do I break this cycle?

I've been in that cycle for like 2 years. I knew I had to quit when I, too, realized that 

31 minutes ago, audley said:

Gaming isn't fun anymore.

Like I play only just "for the sake of gaming" even though I know that I could do so much better. It's really good that you know your life would improve if you had stopped because that means you have a very nice reason to quit.

We, humans, are scared when we don't know what's gonna happen. I highly recommend that you make a strategy on how to quit. Either gradually or by cold turkey. Questions to answer are like: how will you keep your day busy to avoid thinking about games, how to deal with cravings, how can you use your resources to rebuild your life—you know, personal things like that.

I've quit several times, but succeeded on the last. 🙂
Accept the fact, do something about it, then commit your life to it! You can do it!
Good luck Audley! Hope to hear from you soon. 😁
 

Quote

Perseverance is failing 19 times and succeeding the 20th.
-Julie Andrews

 

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Thank you for the meaningful reply. I was indeed extremely tired when I wrote what I said. However, I still think most of it rings true. I'm unsure if I want to quit forever at this point. I'm happy with going 90 days without them, and then reevaluating the situation then. Heck, I'd be happy with going a couple days without them and succeeding with that at this point. For someone like me who gets so caught up in the what ifs, maybe I need to start small and take it day by day. 

I think I need to gradually stop playing games as cold turkey for me on anything has always been difficult. What I'd like to do first is come up with a small list of my main reasons why I want to stop gaming, and what I will benefit from when I do. This way I can remind myself what I'm "fighting" for I suppose. Then, the next step will be knowing how much I play a day so I can come up with a plan to cut back. 

Don't want to ramble on too much here, but thank you for the reply!

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@audley

I appreciate the vulnerability you are expressing in how hard it is to not game. I am going through this journey as well and am intentionally quitting games and stopping cold turkey. 

While gradually stopping seems like a good idea, it actually is not. Cam advises in Respawn to not do that for this reason: 

If you don't stop now, you may never stop at all.

It's better to stop cold turkey and find new hobbies and activities (note: plural and not singular) to replace the single hobby you had in video gaming and build a new schedule and life around your current obligations. Go through the modules about new hobbies and setting up a new schedule if you need a baseline on what to do for those. 

In general, find new things to replace gaming instead of trying to go empty. Like Cam said, stopping gaming cold turkey will leave a void in you (which I can tell you are feeling at the moment of this post) and you need new hobbies and activities and a new mindset to fill that void. 

That emptiness you feel at the moment is normal when starting a detox, but it will pass. 

Keep on going with detoxing and I am certain that you will be free. 

And don't forget: We are all going through the same journey and we are all cheering you on! So don't give up. 😄

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RIGHT NOW you are probably right.  There is nothing in your life except gaming.  But you can change that.  You have the power to put yourself out there and make the experiences you want in the world. 

There is a cost though, and that cost is you need to climb out of that comfortable pit that you dug for yourself.  It will be awkward and difficult and embarrassing at first and sometimes you will slide back, but know there is light at the top, and the climb will be worth it.

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