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PianoLearner
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day #13 Girlfriend is mad at me, I feel exausted.

Piano: starting with what is going well :P I am still focusing on warmups, playing loud/quit and I do feel a difference in the ease of playing, will keep it up.

Career: Did a lot at work, there is only so much I can do. I have the chance to see a senior business analyst operate and it is very impressive, I'm learning a lot.

Gaming: No urges or anything but I'm feeling like I would like to play, which means I need to find which need needs to be fulfilled, I think it's the need to escape, to be in a bubble and stop thinking about work. This means I just need to watch some tv show, relax and I should be alright, I will try that.

School: I did prepare for the class but I felt too exhausted to follow or do the exercises, I decided to quit during the class and just go for a walk. I will simply study the course documentation and make sure I can do the exercises proposed in class.

Girlfriend: Sleeping on the couch today, lol, first time this has happened. we had an argument when I came back from the walk, I didn't respond well and didn't really listen to her, she was angry so I quickly got angry (I'm exhausted, maybe she is to) in theses conditions it is hard to have rationale discussions. I left a "sorry letter" for her to read tomorrow, I have to leave tomorrow morning, she will have all the time to cool down, I hope I will too.

 

Will visit my (maybe) next house tomorrow :) I hope it's the one

https://www.centris.ca/en/houses~for-sale~saint-calixte/16574962

 

Goodnight

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On 5/15/2020 at 4:42 AM, PianoLearner said:

Gaming: My friend got angry at me and said he is done "raging at me". He proposed (by texts) again to play games, which I refused, he quickly seemed emotional to which I proposed to discuss, which he refused and replied that he did not want to rage and that he was done raging. I asked what was he raging about and the next reply was "you". Afterward he stopped replying... I texted his girlfriend which told me she knew nothing about this situation and that she couldn't help me (they don't really talk about these things between them). Not sure what I should do know, he doesn't seem to want to talk, he told me that he feels that he is "put on the side" by me, I am not sure what he means by that. I don't like this situation because I do not know what to do, I don't feel like I should lose this friendship because I stopped playing games, until today we never really played together at a game, why now would matter? I proposed to play chess online (does that count as "non-gaming" activity?) we'll see with his reply.

It does seem like he is struggling with something himself. I would guess there is an underlying issue that might have stressed him, so he turned to gaming as a form of relief, which he hoped to include you in. When that plan fell apart, that was what brought the raging. I doubt this will affect your friendship too much, considering you haven't used to play together in the past. I think he will just need time. Once he cools down, he will understand why you stopped gaming and that it has nothing to do with him. I would say chess is okay, even board games online are fine, in my opinion, but it is individual. From some people, it may be triggering to play other games, so it depends on how you see it. 

On 5/15/2020 at 4:42 AM, PianoLearner said:

Soooo all in all, I feel like I have the energy to achieve everything right now (which is feels like I'm back in my early 20s), I feel stressed by the situation with my friend and the school's work, I'm doing great on the piano and practicing everyday and I am grateful for my girlfriend's patience but I must not abuse.

Also, thanks to anyone that reads and react to this, you guys are so awesome, I love this forum.

It's awesome that you are doing well. Keep it up! And do not stress too much about your friend, this things happen all the time. I am sure it will get better in few days. We are happy to have you here 🙂!

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Sorry about your stressful situation, I hope it gets better for you.  Remember if you feel like playing games: you feel like playing games "for now".... It's just a feeling and it will pass eventually as all feelings do.  If you recognize the feeling it will have less power over you.

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Since I really have no time to write elaborate day summary, I will minimise a lot in here

Day 14: Went to visit the house,made an offer. No gaming urge.

Day 15: Went to the beach with GF,spent lot if time with her and studied the rest of day. No gaming urge or toughts.

Day 16: Kept studying in the morning, went to see familly in PM - Offer was accepted: 1st house bought, we just need to do an inspection. No gaming toughts or urge, I really am not thinking about it. Friend said hi and talked about going into a pilot school, I'm happy for him, he didn't ask to play Starcraft.

Day 17: Regular day at work, had to find an jnspector for the house, I spoke to over 9000 people on the phone to find the right one. Was exausted at the evening, went to sleep at 5pm, studied after for few hours (skipped class for today). No gaming urge, girlfriend is a bit depressed today.

Will try to keep posting here and keep it short  as long as I am not gaming I am happy. I feel much more creative motivated and up to the task.

 

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Day 18: Both inspections for the house are scheduled, we have the key, now we wait until May 29. Akward day at work, felt incompetent, like what I was doing was pointless, at least I'm paid but I fear this won't go unoticed, I'm trying to find valuable work to do. Girlfriend is very happy today, my moral is up and without gaming toughs. I'm doing fine, only 3 weeks and a half unitl I am done with school :)

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On 5/20/2020 at 10:57 PM, PianoLearner said:

Day 18: Both inspections for the house are scheduled, we have the key, now we wait until May 29. Akward day at work, felt incompetent, like what I was doing was pointless, at least I'm paid but I fear this won't go unoticed, I'm trying to find valuable work to do. Girlfriend is very happy today, my moral is up and without gaming toughs. I'm doing fine, only 3 weeks and a half unitl I am done with school 🙂

Hang in there and finish strong! I am still waiting to receive my diploma due to corona and I graduated beginning of May... Maybe you will get yours before me!

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Day 24 (I think) - I'm changing, wtf is going on.

Gaming: Some toughs here and there, sometimes I get some nostalgia and I instantly remember home much time is needed to have some "fun" playing games. I'm living with my girlfriend during the COVID but I fear when I get back to my place (and my gaming computer) I might relapse, we'll see!

Found a lot of interests recently, like woodworking, to make furniture out of nothing but wood planks would feel awesome! Also, I want to make my own bread, from the wheat I grew and everything. Priorities would look something like that: Finish semester, get driving license, complete few Business analysis courses on Udemy, get a piano habit then develop a new hobby. When the semester will be over, I will have A LOT of free time, we'll see!

The reason for the title is that... I completed my school assignments on the same day I received them, which is ... VERY unusual, we'll see how all this evolve.

@apatton090 Thanks for the support bro, can't wait to receive that piece of paper and be done with it lol!

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