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BgK under construction, one nail at a time


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So, what’s the root cause or causes? Can I say I just want to game?

What then, does gaming bring to people? What do people gain after gaming? One reason, is that it brings confidence. Especially for competitive gamers, those who are good at their games. In the game, one can be so strong and skilful with reigning influences, which draw the praises, the admirations and the respects so naturally. These things just boost ones confidence like a firing rocket. 

Then, for a gamer who abandon his real life for a period of time, to go back to life and get the same level of admirations from people, is impossible. To master a craft in a real life takes a while, a while is 10000 hours according to one theory. While one plowing hard in the life with sweats and dirt and does not see immediate result, the monster of gaming just waving his hands right in your pocket.

Confidence is a big thing. The sudden drop of confidence right after Day 1 of quitting gaming is a big, well, huge obstacle in the journey. I am able to climb the obstacle with sheer will, however I don’t want to boast about it. The obstacle of confidence did not go away even after 157 days free of gaming. It’s like a rock on a rope tied to me and slows me down moving forward. However, I don’t regret me taking this path to walk the journey. The journey itself has been really rewarding with things I cannot imagine in the past. Then I still hope to untie this rope and release the rock of lacking confidence, so that I can run right into the future, Lol.

However I don’t know how to untie this rope, well, not yet.

Edited by BgK
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Keep it up BgK! With each small accomplishment you will get more confident.

When you get a positive loop going, first 500 steps may be hard and seem insignificant, but you will come to a point you will see you situation and your confidence improve. I believe in you!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 171

Found an interesting YT video talking about how to “tricked your brain to do hard things”. 

Recently I found it really hard to get motivation. I also relapsed once and gamed 3 days...

This video talks about using a rewarding mechanism, which I am fascinated to try out. It makes sense. I heard some stories about a body builder eating strictly health for two years, then he had enough of the thing. Yes, achieving that is extraordinary and had huge benefit on his fitness, at the same time, according to his own words, painful. Then he switched to a diet plan that allows some guilty pleasure two meals a week. That makes himself more willing to stick to his diet, benefiting and doable, generally more sustainable.

Beating procrastination is the same. I used to do strictly productive activities all day long, even studied something before I went to bed. I am surprised I do that for 160+ days but that’s, painful. Almost against human nature. 

I would like to come up with a rewarding activity or activities, to reward myself 10 mins for each hour of productive but low dopamine activities I nail down during the day. What could this be? I am not too sure about gaming, as I am still trying to avoid it altogether. Maybe badminton, or hang out with friends, or browsing the internet for political scandals.

Things I am grateful for today: 

Everybody is imperfect, an amount of faults are allowed and everybody who is not a superhero.does make mistakes. Some make more than others. I don’t need to be 100% perfect to be accepted. 


Edited by BgK
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One thing I have found myself doing to reward myself is eating. 

Now I'm not saying I'm having a cake every break, but after a couple hours of work when I'm starting to get mentally worn out I like to go to my grocery store and buy a can of soda and either a pizza or anything that I'm feeling that day with the budget of 3-5 dollars.

I don't think this will work with everyone, but I personally love food and I feel a lot better and I'm more willing to do more again after eating delicious food for a few minutes.

You're doing great! Keep it up

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