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Question of the week: What are you grateful for?

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Hello my fellow quitters. My name is Dillon, and here's my story.

I've been gaming since I was three years old and have loved it my entire life. I was never the most athletic kid, and often would get beaten in physical activity and picked last on the school yard pick. However, I was always very good at video games. In sixth grade, my dad got me Guitar Hero 3 and I started playing on expert overnight. My dad got me a real guitar, hoping I'd play but I ignored it. I began playing competitive Rockband my freshman year, and was so obsessed with the drums, I made it to the number one position in the world on the Playstation three leaderboards. I got a job but all my money went to Rockband. I ended up spending 2-3k on various equipment and DLC over time. I eventually decided it was too exhausting. Maintaining my spot at number one was a full time job and my grades were suffering. I sold my PS3 to game stop on an impulsive forced whim. I took up real instruments to fill the void and became what I guess you'd call a "virtuoso" as I play thirteen different instruments. I gained a social life in high school, and was accepted to a prestigious music college majoring in live guitar performance, something I loved to do.

 

The craving came back, not just Rockband.

 

I bought, to my mistake, a Playstation 4 and started gaming again. I would completely neglect my studies, staying up all hours of the night playing whatever. Dark Souls, Mass Effect, Call of Duty, Battlefield... Whatever suited my fancy. I started missing band practices, classes, and social events. I didn't come out of my room for days. I wasn't running from anything like others here say. I think it's the adrenaline rush. As previously said, I'm not into physical activity, and I like some feeling of competition sometimes. Video games give me that rush and competition fix. Nothing else excites me, and when I'm away always thinking about them, I feel excited in the pit of my stomach. I am now 40k dollars in debt, flunked out of college, have two failed engagements, and haven't played any of my instruments in about 3 months because I can't pry myself away from games long term. I could pay more on my debt, but I keep spending endless amounts of money I don't have on more game things. (I'm currently into Warframe and previously it was Smite. You can imagine the pain cries of my wallet). I have to get away. I've tried before with some success, but ultimately failed. I hope this community can be a safe place I can talk about my withdrawals and struggles, cause I know I'll have them. 

 

Thank You.

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