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Gaming the System 006 - James' First 30 Days As a Digital Nomad in Thailand!

Aggras

One day at a time.

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So, here it goes, my first online journal, I hope I will be able to write something here every day. I already am really tired and on my way to sleep after this, so let´s see if I can even write english anymore...

 

Today has been overall a really good day. I have found many more things to help me with my issues, especially addictions. Still, I also have played today. I forgive myself, but I do not want to waste my time anymore. 

I have been cleaning the house quite a much today, have had really nice time with my wife and my daughter, have walked around 3 hours and done some other exercise as well. With my studied I have not been able to progress. That situation is quite fucked up.. I can´t go directly to school, because the inside air there is bad, mold etc, gives me symptoms like nearly unable to breath, sick headache, utter tiredness, etc. 

Even after thinking about what I have accomplished today, I can´t help but feeling really fucking crappy about that I have played world of warcraft today and drank beer.. And that I have had this gaming addiction for so fucking long.. That I am 24 years old, without job or any degree.. And of so many things. I want to focus on my life, on my health, on my family.. With this text, I honor all of my goals. Good night, everyone.

 

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Hello, Aggras! I'm Lea. Pleasure to meet you.

I wonder about one thing: What do you study in school?

Edited by Lea
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Day 2, written on third day.

Last night I got too tired before I planned to write here about my day, so instead of falling into ¨I can't keep up anything I can't succeed with this blaah blaah'' despair I decided to write about it today.

So, day two, yesterday, it was a tired and slow day, but got much better around 15.00. I played for several hours, but I managed to wake up myself from possibly a really bad relapse, and I deleted the game and started handling my real life things. Planning, doing something about issues already, etc, don't want to go into too many details right now.

Today has started well, but more about that later tonight, now I have things to do so I will cut this text short.

 

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On 1/14/2019 at 10:54 PM, Lea said:

Hello, Aggras! I'm Lea. Pleasure to meet you.

I wonder about one thing: What do you study in school?

Nice to meet you too, Lea. I am right now studying in a program called VALMA (Preparatory Studies for Vocational Training) that is tailored into the needs of each student, we have young people who just completed comprehensive school, we have old people who are looking to find a new line of study and work, and we also have many immigrants. For me it is a lot about passing the year, as I did not get into where I really wanted. Next year I will apply for massage therapist again (have started doing it on my own already and found a passion for it alongside health and fitness in general and that I actually am good at it) and travelling business as well. 🙂 

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It has been many months since I last wrote to this journal... I am very ashamed of my failure, but also proud that I have the guts to continue after a huge relapse.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. I got divorced in late january, so not long after I last wrote here. My ex wife and daughter moved to a place a bit over 200km away.. Eh and well I dont even want to write about it now.

After the divorce I first got very ill physically, I guess the stress hit me. I got a really bad case of influenza, I needed hospital care, lost some of my memory due to really high fever and I was also at first unable to walk etc etc.. Just real bad.

So there I was after the hospital, alone at home.. After first living with someone for many years.. And even my daughter far away. My recovery took over a month at home, and I barely could cook food, because I was so weak physically from the sickness. All alone and in that kind of physical state, no wonder I started gaming.. It did actually cheer my days at first for many weeks, but as we all know here, it just made life worse later on..

 

Now I dont know how to continue, my mind feels like a total mess. There would be so much to write about but I think I must leave it until tomorrow.

I really wish with all my being I truly can now put a total end to my gaming, it is very near on ruining my new start at life.  

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