Oh boy

[WantingNormality]

Day 1 of 90

Well here we go.

I'm a married man that's been gaming since forever. I have three lovely kids and am tired of spending my nights into mornings playing games when I should be the father they deserve. The anxiety and crazy dark thoughts are also no fun. I need to purge now.

Step one I'm taking is obviously uninstalling the games. I'm devoting my solo-time to reading. There's a large selection of books I've organized for this purpose. Eventually, I'll have to put the book down so I'm taking up bike riding with my family. I've already fixed up some of our bikes and bought a bike trailer. I'm really doing this for my kiddos.

As I'm writing this, I'm already feeling stressed. I've got that hot feeling on my face that worry-worry spinning out on the back of my brain as my neck tightens back there. Ugh.. Stomach is getting knotted up too. Boy-oh-boy is this going to be fun. I feel like talking about my history gaming here will only make me feel more nostalgic. It was the main activity I had with my brother growing up together. It was a major staple. Now I need to cut free. The 5 AM gaming sessions need to stop.

I just got into another awesome game too. Well, they will just have to do without me I guess. The RL me will be leveling up instead. I'm thinking my kids will like that better tbh. Man this feels hard. I've been a gamer for as long as I can remember. Even now I'm getting those thoughts of "It's alright; you can have both" "You can play here and there" and I know I'll end up playing till 3.. 4... 5... Crash into bed before the sun comes up and not get up until late into the afternoon. My wife and kids would be gone by then and it would be another day without me. It's a good thing I don't have to work summers.

WN

[Cam Adair]

Hi! Welcome and great job starting your journal. Check out this story by Joe who was a father in a similar position, you may find it inspiring.

For nostalgia watch this video.