Hello... Again!

[Guest]

Hey guys - my name is Mark. Oh boy, back again at square one. Some cliffs for what happened:

• Registered in January. Was at rock bottom - nearly dropped out of college, depressed, found out I had ADHD. My life was a mess.
• Went to therapy twice a week for academic coaching, as well as for depression (still do!)
• Things got seemingly better. Grades are doing really well now, not even close to dropping out. Felt much better about myself, and saw gradual improvement in many parts of my life. Got kinda lazy, and figured that gaming addiction wasn't really a problem, and is something that would go away as my life straightened out.
• Gave up gaming for quite some time - but I gradually weaned myself into it, after a few months. (damn it, Stardew Valley!)
• Got out of a two year relationship - a bit of a bummer, but was necessary to move on. Was a form of comfort for both parties involved, and needed to be ended in order for either of us to progress as people.
• Lost 12 lbs since my breakup (feels great) via a ketogenic diet/exercise
• During the adjustment phase for the ketogenic diet (felt really sluggish) ended up slipping back into a gaming phase. The mindset here was "Just while I get used to these things, since I can't do anything relatively useful!" and also a way to keep myself busy after ending my relationship. 
• Went from being casual, 'OK gaming' to the kind where I don't want to go to sleep at night because its just so damn fun.
• Now realized that I still had an empty hole to fill after quitting gaming, and that it won't go away on its own for me. I need to respect the fact that I'm prone to using video games as an escape from reality, and responsibilities that come with it.

That just about sums it up to the present. Luckily I caught on to this new wave of addiction before it wiped me out completely . I decided to do something about it once and for all. I picked up an Elite subscription, printed out the entire Respawn workbook, hole-punched/put into a binder. Can't wait to start with Day 1 tomorrow. 

Some lingering thoughts/uncertainty:

Is absolutely NO gaming a good thing for me? Am I one of those people who absolutely shouldn't even bother with trying to maintain this as a casual hobby? As a person, I find that if I quit gaming, my addictive behavior seems to spread to another activity, which could be anything from work, working out, reading, etc. It's problematic, because even if my energy is invested into seemingly 'healthy' disciplines, my life is all out of balance (I will neglect other aspects of it). This kinda sucks, and I wish rather than having to say 'no' to everything, I could say 'sure, but in moderation'. I find I am the kind of person who loves getting really deep into a game - analyzing its mechanics, thinking about things in terms of economics (free trade, market, prices, etc) and theory-crafting.

I imagine the lingering thoughts are my mind trying to trick me here - I should get rid of gaming altogether, but I am looking at an excuse not to (my friends can play without problems, so why can't I?! ).

Hopefully things go right this time around.

[WorkInProgress]

Hi welcome and congratulations on your progress so far!

I am sure the 90day detox will help you a lot in figuring out the question of moderation or quitting forever. It had this effect on me at least. I'm sure you will experience a lot of stuff while you go through respawn and the 30day-challenge and I am excited for you. Hope everything goes right and if you have questions feel free to ask. We are all happy to help a fellow gamequitter(be it for 90days/all time)!

Best regards

Mario

[Falky]

Hi and welcome back  since being on my game detox, im starting to find out lots about myself and one of those things is I'm starting to find out is I may have a addictive personality.

I'm an all or nothing kind of guy and you may be too. That's something you need to figure out for yourself and your friends may not have an addictive personality.

All the best and don't forget to start your journal as this helps alot

 

[Guest]

Hi welcome and congratulations on your progress so far!

I am sure the 90day detox will help you a lot in figuring out the question of moderation or quitting forever. It had this effect on me at least. I'm sure you will experience a lot of stuff while you go through respawn and the 30day-challenge and I am excited for you. Hope everything goes right and if you have questions feel free to ask. We are all happy to help a fellow gamequitter(be it for 90days/all time)!

Best regards

Mario

Ah thanks ! Yeah, I definitely think it will be an eye-opening experience, and hopefully answer my lingering questions/thoughts. Out of curiosity, did you find that moderation or cold-turkey was the solution for you?

Hi and welcome back  since being on my game detox, im starting to find out lots about myself and one of those things is I'm starting to find out is I may have a addictive personality.

I'm an all or nothing kind of guy and you may be too. That's something you need to figure out for yourself and your friends may not have an addictive personality.

All the best and don't forget to start your journal as this helps alot

 

Thanks! I definitely agree, I think I may have an addictive personality... maybe there are ways to control it with some practice. Not sure yet if I'm all or nothing... curious to find that out. And what I've noticed amongst my friends is that they may not have addicted personalities, but they tend to rely on some things too much (smoking pot, drinking, etc). I guess that goes to show that every man has his demons. 

Journal is already up and running! Just gotta post the day one in a few hours 

[WorkInProgress]

I tried to watch gaming videos as i did the detox. And had it not at all under control. That's when I decided that moderation with gaming is not a viable option for me. I don't feel urges right now but I have the feeling that if I start in moderation iIwill just hardcore game in notime.

[ManGodWhyNo]

Welcome back, Mark.  You're awesome, you've handled some big changes, sought help, and you're making good progress, even though the struggle is ongoing.

It looks like you've done a lot of great self-reflection on what should go into your life, what's nurturing and what's holding you back.  You're asking good questions, and some of the answers will come in time.

I totally resonate with your comment about worrying about never gaming again.  I'm only a week in to a detox, and I have that fear that I'll be missing out.  But I already know what a life of gaming looks like.  I don't know what a full, satisfying, healthy life free of compulsion looks like.  I owe it to myself to at least try the alternative for a substantial amount of time.  I gave decades of my life to gaming.  Can I spare a month?  A year?  I can always go back.  It would excite my neurons but it would bore my soul and starve my imagination.  It would be a lie to say that I know what will bring me happiness.  I feel like I'm closer today than a week ago.

You're doing good self-work.  Keep asking questions.  Use your powers of analysis on a worthy target - yourself.  You like economics?  What are the trade-offs and the true costs of the time spent gaming?  What is the risk analysis of playing moderately if relapse can lead to a downward spiral?  What can you learn from those who play moderately?  What else are you neglecting about your own life?  

Unsolicited advice alert!! Parallel Plans to Gaming that involve theory/mechanics

A - Board games are so hot right now.  My local shops are hopping with tournaments and meetups.  For some, the CCGs are a compulsion, but if MTG isn't a problem and want to get into game design that doesn't involve a screen, that might be an option.

B. I used to design campaigns for my D&D friends.  I'd make the maps, craft backstories, and set up episodes like a director would set up shots.  I'd turn it over to my DM friend to execute, and just hang out while a group played.  It was cool making the entertainment without getting obsessed with my own character progression.  I did one called Universalis that turned into a series of short stories with a buddy. 

C. Improv - you can go deep into game theory on this, or just meet people and loosen up.  

D. If you really like economics, have you considered going into business analytics or behavioral economics?  Marketers, entrepreneurs, and even virologists use this stuff to figure out how to help/sell to people.  

Keep taking care of yourself.

Out.

 

 

 

[Guest]

Welcome back, Mark.  You're awesome, you've handled some big changes, sought help, and you're making good progress, even though the struggle is ongoing.

It looks like you've done a lot of great self-reflection on what should go into your life, what's nurturing and what's holding you back.  You're asking good questions, and some of the answers will come in time.

I totally resonate with your comment about worrying about never gaming again.  I'm only a week in to a detox, and I have that fear that I'll be missing out.  But I already know what a life of gaming looks like.  I don't know what a full, satisfying, healthy life free of compulsion looks like.  I owe it to myself to at least try the alternative for a substantial amount of time.  I gave decades of my life to gaming.  Can I spare a month?  A year?  I can always go back.  It would excite my neurons but it would bore my soul and starve my imagination.  It would be a lie to say that I know what will bring me happiness.  I feel like I'm closer today than a week ago.

You're doing good self-work.  Keep asking questions.  Use your powers of analysis on a worthy target - yourself.  You like economics?  What are the trade-offs and the true costs of the time spent gaming?  What is the risk analysis of playing moderately if relapse can lead to a downward spiral?  What can you learn from those who play moderately?  What else are you neglecting about your own life?  

Unsolicited advice alert!! Parallel Plans to Gaming that involve theory/mechanics

A - Board games are so hot right now.  My local shops are hopping with tournaments and meetups.  For some, the CCGs are a compulsion, but if MTG isn't a problem and want to get into game design that doesn't involve a screen, that might be an option.

B. I used to design campaigns for my D&D friends.  I'd make the maps, craft backstories, and set up episodes like a director would set up shots.  I'd turn it over to my DM friend to execute, and just hang out while a group played.  It was cool making the entertainment without getting obsessed with my own character progression.  I did one called Universalis that turned into a series of short stories with a buddy. 

C. Improv - you can go deep into game theory on this, or just meet people and loosen up.  

D. If you really like economics, have you considered going into business analytics or behavioral economics?  Marketers, entrepreneurs, and even virologists use this stuff to figure out how to help/sell to people.  

Keep taking care of yourself.

Out.

 

 

 

Thanks for the response! Never really thought about using this economical model toward myself - and now that I've tried, things are making perfect sense. The cost outweighs the benefit (the cost of relapse) and it's not like Gaming offers you something that you can't fulfill in other ways. I think what's keeping a lot of people invested is the sunken cost fallacy, and just mere habit (myself included). I need to look closer at people who play in moderation, and see what they're doing differently... every time I try, it seems like it just leads to addiction.

I'm actually a bit curious about board games/card games, I might look into it! 

I tried to watch gaming videos as i did the detox. And had it not at all under control. That's when I decided that moderation with gaming is not a viable option for me. I don't feel urges right now but I have the feeling that if I start in moderation iIwill just hardcore game in notime.

Gotcha. Funny, the way I got back into it is via watching Twitch streams, then reasoning out that if I played something and took it seriously, it would be a good thing. Oh boy, was I wrong...

I think I've found my answer, thanks guys!

Edited April 24, 2016 by Guest