One of my favourite things to do/feel of late has been showering and walking to the supermarket nearby. I would have been doing this the first thing in the morning, but it feels like an ordeal - until after exercise, when I know I need to clean myself up and can also tolerate the hot/cold water and the scrubbing/rinsing (my apologies if that's TMI).

--> To the point, when I've been walking out of the door onto the street after another almost-whole day without gaming, I haven't even been half as happy/able to really check out my surroundings - people/drivers/bicycles, basically movements - before lumbering through the doors of the supermarket. 

Now, I am convinced that this might be a small price to pay for not spending ~5 hours a day being hyper-vigilant on my game, which messed with me even more, but I still lament the long-term ability it seemed I had to take care of my surroundings. Has anyone else felt this ability falling by the wayside?

To compound that loss, I recall my Dad solemnly saying that 'most people are only looking out for themselves.' I don't know how he, or even my brother, perhaps achieved the means to keep their heads held high, not reflecting or thinking too hard in public, so that they could keep an eye on everything whilst remembering why they were outside in the first place. I tend to think that with my own head held up, I am more liable to form proud, snap-judgments of people not doing/saying/feeling what I am - so I think and reflect at almost all times. Maybe it has to do with purpose and responsibility - my loose and comfortable 'uniform' and out-of-practice commanding tone I used to use with my 2 pet dogs on walks. I still have a trained eye, but I don't know what I'm looking out for much.

I am still hopeful, but I'd like to know what everyone else here thinks, and whether I should just be standing up straighter, or stiffening up my upper-lip, etcetera. I just don't want to take things for granted.

Peace,

~ Matt

 

Edited May 14, 20241 yr by wheatbiscuit
grammar

hello Matt!

going outside and exploring nature is a great outlet. sometimes i find myself overthinking in public myself
if you like nature, i'd suggest you try walking in a slightly more isolated area (for me that is walking on a bunch of trees on campus, or the beach in the morning)
also make it more enjoyable, you could listen to music if you want to, or listen to podcasts (note: that don't feed your addiction, tho) and go to places that you enjoy (a nice coffee shop, see the sunset over the mountains, go to a park and take pics of cool flowers and trees etc.)

if you incorporate a more "active" activity you might find yourself more focused on that than on other people/overanalysing etc.

hope I helped!