Being Honest with Myself

[AssellusPrimus]

Greetings Everyone,

I used to be a part of this community, way back when (maybe 5 years ago). At 30, and a few years of therapy I still find myself struggling with a certain game and related genres. Anything competive or strategic, really I get extremely absorbed in. 

Gaming had effected all aspects of my life, my health (physical and mental), my relationships, my career, lifestyle and my self-esteem. I'm really hoping to use this forum and Community to be honest with myself about the impacts gaming has had on my life and record the transformation/ journey that sobriety entails. 

I look forward to meeting the community and wonder if there are any virtual support groups that anyone has discovered.

Sheldon

[Amphibian220]

Welcome back,

Have you got a support group in real life, like your family or a therapy group to whom you can open up about the problem?

That would help with accountability and solving issues.

[AssellusPrimus]

Hey @Amphibian220, 

This is an interesting question. I do believe I have a "good support group", close friends, mentors and a therapist to whom I can speak about my addiction and behaviours.

However, despite this network of people existing, I struggle to "open up" about the problem consistently. I often feel awkward discussing "addiction" within the context of gaming. Unlike less taboo and more known addictive dependencies (drug-related, alcohol, etc.), I have felt when I share this problem with others the significance of it, seems to be minimized. While it may not be spoken, I often sense, "Oh, it's just a gaming addiction.".

Additionally, when I am experiencing a relapse, I tend to isolate myself which is accompanied by feeling guilt and embarrassment about the frequency and nature of my addiction. 

Have you experienced these thoughts and have any advice to move past them?  

[Amphibian220]

You are doing root cause analysis right now. Gamers are low maintenance people. Fantasies are cooler than living and fighting for you family.

you have to open up about the problem to yourself, and get to the essence of it because only then will you discover underlying issues and what you want to do in life before your potential is wasted.

Have you ever thought that vain talk, attention grabbing devices, anti social media, entertainment are morale killers. Your community can be taken out while you are watching your favorite shows.

I remember from school that Caesar of the Roman Empire used gladiator battles for common folk to watch violence and get free food. These venues diverted their minds away from many pressing problems such as poor living conditions.

The coliseum has become the mobile phone.

I spent YEARS without playing games but remained stagnant. Because This is what entertainment programmed:

1. Stay lazy,

2. stay complicit,

3. don't contest your rights

4. any job will do.

I started fighting and struggling to belong to a group about a meaningful goal. The moment it gets riskier and I have a moment of breakthrough, my body goes : No! demanding things is scary, Im stressed, Lets watch some news!

Hold my ground long enough, and I start getting accustomed to meaningful conflicts. 

I am a high maintenance person. The value I give to people has meaning for their Health and well being and the resources I use are far greater than an unaware person would expect.

Because low maintenance people will not create pressure enough to depart from the loser mindset.

Edit:

Check “how to deal with cravings” thread 

 

Edited October 9, 2023 by Amphibian220