Guilt – the Vicious Cycle 🔁 ⭕️

[IlikeCookies]

Hello, I am here to discuss my problem of Guilt (when I relapse). 
 

Guilt generally has a negative effect on me (i.e., makes me play more). For example, a week or two before, I had a relapse because I thought that ‘I was already in control.’ However, unfortunately I ended up playing for a few hours, at around 12. This DIDN’T impede me. Instead, I thought ‘this day is already full of games’ and gamed more. You see, this made me more guilty and I just gamed to forget it. 
 

I also abandoned my Gamequitters account because it made me feel bad. 
 

So, I think that I should try and forgive myself and start anew – pick up my hobbies again. Is that correct or should I use a different strategy?

[wheatbiscuit]

4 minutes ago, IlikeCookies said:

Hello, I am here to discuss my problem of Guilt (when I relapse). 
 

Guilt generally has a negative effect on me (i.e., makes me play more). For example, a week or two before, I had a relapse because I thought that ‘I was already in control.’ However, unfortunately I ended up playing for a few hours, at around 12. This DIDN’T impede me. Instead, I thought ‘this day is already full of games’ and gamed more. You see, this made me more guilty and I just gamed to forget it. 
 

I also abandoned my Gamequitters account because it made me feel bad. 
 

So, I think that I should try and forgive myself and start anew – pick up my hobbies again. Is that correct or should I use a different strategy?

Cam says to aim to just 'win' each day by not playing games. On Thursday I was literally lying on my back in the sun during 30 seconds' rest between bouts of sit-ups. I didn't feel like I was wasting time because it used to get me through the day before. Reading fiction has been one of my hobbies, but is also a tremendous escape. I found myself re-reading a great book, but also rushing around to get back to it, eating and drinking whilst reading and generally behaving as though I was gaming. 

Maybe if some of your hobbies involve working with others, they'll be really effective. Someone in a different gym today asked me about how difficult front squatting was, like he wanted to know the benefits. I only answered what he asked, but it felt dandy and made me want to talk about and do them all day. 

[Faroe Islander]

44 minutes ago, IlikeCookies said:

Hello, I am here to discuss my problem of Guilt (when I relapse). 
 

Guilt generally has a negative effect on me (i.e., makes me play more). For example, a week or two before, I had a relapse because I thought that ‘I was already in control.’ However, unfortunately I ended up playing for a few hours, at around 12. This DIDN’T impede me. Instead, I thought ‘this day is already full of games’ and gamed more. You see, this made me more guilty and I just gamed to forget it. 
 

I also abandoned my Gamequitters account because it made me feel bad. 
 

So, I think that I should try and forgive myself and start anew – pick up my hobbies again. Is that correct or should I use a different strategy?

The best course of action when dealing with defeat in my opinion is not to let it drag you down but to get up as soon as posible and later review the actions which lead to your downfall.

So yes, in my experience I would say that the best course of action is to love yourself, but love yourself truly which means acting like a big brother, mother and father to your own self, forgiving the actions and motivating yourself to get back up all the while not letting yourself write it completely off and demanding to at least review what went poorly and what actions you can take both now and in the future to avoid the same result or at least bit by bit steer the result in the way which you want it to go.

And as for deciding which hobbies to pick just evaluate which effects they have on you in the moment and long term all the while remembering that you are still going to need some kind of activities to fill your time as well as fulfill some of your human needs like social connection, relaxation, mental or physical stimulation, feeling of challenge...

 

[Shonnasen The Light]

Hi, IlikeCookies, I have the same thing going on. Like you, I feel bad about myself, then I keep on playing too much.

I think that is very common, not just for gamers, also anyone who is having trouble on discipline; it could be drugs, junk food, sex, money …

sometimes after playing games for a while, I feel that ' it's already like this, so it's ok, go wild, just for the night, though. Just for tonight.' And the next day, I get up around 2pm, all my other plans are disrupted. I blame myself - guilt, hate, punishment, isolation, worthlessness ... I inflict a second round of damage on myself, after the damadg of gaming. How destructive that is. 

You asked what to do. I think that I do not have an answer to that.  I think that is part of the process. I do not know where you are at. My guess is that you somehow want to quit, and are looking for advice. Or you are just in the process of thinking whether you should quit or not. I think only one self can know what he/she want. But good luck. 

I read lots of books about this. '7 habits for highly effective people' , 'feel the fear and do it anyway' , 'the road less traveled' , I think these books can open your mind and find out more about your strategies. What I take from it is - gaming is a habit poeple developed when very young. they kept doing it because of fear. Fear of change. People either chose to avoid or not allowed to do other more meaningful things. It is a choice, by the self. I am struggling still, I think it is the same for the ones already quit, like Cam. He struggles to maintain the discipline. 

I hope you can get better. Please don't hate yourself. That is for myself, too. It's a hard, hard responsibility.