Hal's Journal

[Hal]

Day - 0

This evening I deleted all the gaming apps from my laptop and cleared out my YouTube history. I hope that these simple actions will support my journey. I know that the first week will be a real challenge, so I am going one day at a time - small steps.

Stay motivated,

Hal

 

[Hal]

Day - 1

Today I went the whole day without playing any video games. I am grateful for this forum, the guidance available here and this opportunity. I found it difficult to focus today. I am going to add meditation to my routine and track my ability to focus over the coming weeks. I have also noted a twitch above my right eye.

Tracking:

• Focus - 3/10

Stay motivated,

Hal

[Hal]

Day - 2

Another day without playing any video games. Focus was worse than yesterday, with a very strong urge to give up and play again. I have enjoyed learning about the relationship between dopamine, motivation and gaming. The eye twitch I experienced yesterday has remained. I am grateful for this journal, as without being able to look ahead to it I would have slipped today. 

Tracking:

• Focus - 2/10

Keep the streak alive,

Hal

[Hal]

Day - 3

Step by step, with patience it will become learned. I have continued to read around the subject of dopamine and have expanded into the process of change. I had a very strong urge to watch, rather than play, video games today. I did not give in. I still struggle to focus.

Tracking:

• Focus 3/10

Keep swimming,

Hal

[Hal]

Day - 7

One week complete. This second week feels difficult, but not impossible. Found my focus really improved at the end of last week. Unfortunately now I’m struggling with it again. I just need to be patient and stick to quitting games. Once I’ve got that down I can look to conquer the rest. Step by Step

Hal

[Hal]

Day 9

I am grateful that I have managed to maintain this streak of 9 days without gaming. I have been reflecting on this a lot today. The impulses are still there, but they are much more manageable now. I have been listening to Dr. K a lot over the past few days and one thing has really stuck. It’s about being grateful for initial success when forming a new habit, or trying to break a cycle. Often I want to achieve far more than is realistically possible in the amount of time that I have given myself. As a result I’m often unhappy with my progress and the speed of my change. I am punishing myself, impeding my own progress, by not reflecting on the positive achievements and progress that I have made, no matter how small or simple they may have been - such as not touching a video game for 9 days, and not consuming any gaming related content. I am so grateful for all the self-help videos, other journals, books and guides that I have listened to, that have kept me distracted, provided me with motivation and allowed me to maintain this result. My ability to focus is improving. I think I can help it along by practicing gratitude, and grabbing hold of positive impulses. When a positive thought bubbles up, I will try to be more aware of it, note it down, act on it if possible and most importantly reflect on those positive thoughts at the end of the day, and be grateful for them, for they will guide me from now on. I am grateful for the suggestion of keeping a journal, and that I had the courage to start one, it really does feel fantastic to have begun this journey. I will not get carried away, and let my guard slip. I remain focused but relaxed. 

I want to include gratefulness as a regular part of my journal. Today I have done it in the main body of the text, but I will consider separating it and adding to the Tracking schedule.

Tracking:

• Focus 5/10
• Gratefulness journal completed above

Step by step,

Hal

[Hal]

Day 13

Thank you. I have turned over a new leaf. The joy has returned to my life. My dopamine levels have normalised. My motivation is back, my focus is improving and confidence is starting flow. I know there will be days where I don’t feel like this, but I used to never feel like this. Something that I have been working on is identifying those small moments where you think about doing something positive, latching onto it and turning it into action. This has worked really well for me. 
I am grateful for the journey I am on. I am grateful for my great focus at work yesterday. I am grateful for the study and exercise I have already completed today.
Tracking 

Focus 6/10

Step by step,

Hal

[Hal]

Day 84
I last posted on the 4th of March, it is now the 15th of May. I have maintained my streak, and generally since those first two weeks it has not been too difficult. Until Now. I am under pressure to deliver substantially at work, the temptation to escape the stress through video games is very strong. All I want to do is play. It’s probably stronger intensity than the first week. Is this common? Do people normally have a resurgent urge to play deep into their journey? To be honest it has caught me off guard so I’m going to go and remind myself of some of the coping strategies to get me through the week. 

Step by step, one block at a time. 
Hal

[PastTense]

Why do you type what day it is? Extra work. Just use the dates.

but it is great that you use the focus rating it’s subjective compared to eieye twitching/hour, or “times looking away from screen”. 

Edited May 15, 2023 by PastTense

[LordFederickRamsay]

23 hours ago, PastTense said:

Why do you type what day it is? Extra work. Just use the dates.

but it is great that you use the focus rating it’s subjective compared to eieye twitching/hour, or “times looking away from screen”. 

Boo. I love typing what day it is. Feels satisfying!

[LordFederickRamsay]

On 5/15/2023 at 7:54 AM, Hal said:

Day 84
I last posted on the 4th of March, it is now the 15th of May. I have maintained my streak, and generally since those first two weeks it has not been too difficult. Until Now. I am under pressure to deliver substantially at work, the temptation to escape the stress through video games is very strong. All I want to do is play. It’s probably stronger intensity than the first week. Is this common? Do people normally have a resurgent urge to play deep into their journey? To be honest it has caught me off guard so I’m going to go and remind myself of some of the coping strategies to get me through the week. 

Step by step, one block at a time. 
Hal

Don't give in! Do you know who James Good is? He is a veteran of this forum. I don't actually know what happened to him. I can't seem to @ his account so perhaps he had it deleted. But he was requested to attend a select committee hearing, hosted by the UK government to share his experience of gaming addiction. What struck me was when he said that he didn't feel cravings until DAY 70! Of his 90-day detox. When I heard that, I was a bit worried. I felt intense cravings in my first two weeks of the 90-day detox but now they've been greatly reduced although hearing that, I'm convinced they'll come back. You are on day 84/90 day-detox so...if you complete it - according to Cam - your brain will return to a brain uninfluenced by gaming which might mean no more cravings? That's probably not true. I think when you face stressful situations, the urge to escape through gaming will be felt throughout your (our) lives. Going for a walk, seeing a friend, reading a book, getting out of your house to do so...I think that is what I'd strongly recommend. Just change your immediate environment the moment you feel intense cravings to game. 

Hope this helps. And also, sorry that your journal has received so little response from the community but that quite jarring comment above. Come back, update more regularly! I want to hear how you're doing. 

George