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Letters from the Past


Sarai
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26.8.2022
Day 1

Dear me,

Today is the second day into this program, but I just type this after having a 30min game session. I didn't overheat like usual, I didn't spiral endless hours, so that's a start! I feel like I would miss out community things if I stop playing altogether. The VCT championship is coming up and my favorite players are gonna compete... sigh its so hard to quit cold turkey T.T But I reflected on lessons learned yesterday as to why gaming is so addictive, and for the first time I understood that developers do a really good job of incentivizing us to keep playing more. Real life chores don't seem as interesting as playing a game - but breaking down how they capture us with growth systems and a clear goal and mission to work towards, coupled with escaping stress - its like the perfect blend. In real life I don't have a clear vision as to where I want to reach. And somethings are not challenging but just so routine. I need to learn and apply the psychology used by the developers in my real life so that I can do at least half the things I have with that structure. Its impressive tbh, a reward and punishment based system and tracking how far along you are from your goal.

My only worry is that I'll substitute gaming with another useless activity, but hope I pull through.

OK, I wont play for the rest of today. Let's see how I try to hold out for 90 days!

 

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Welcome to this forum.

How will you substitute gaming with another useless activity? I didn’t understand that.

 You don’t want to miss the breakthrough moment in these 90 days. It can come at any point, even in the first month.

A realization of a specific measurable goal, that is appropriate to your circumstances, that can be worked on consistently and tracked and opens up potential for even greater growth. A goal like that can totally change the thinking so that the need for old habits is gone. You don’t even have to abstain at that point. The attachment is no longer there.

I’ve ran through 2 detoxes and I wasn’t pressuring enough at any point to even see a breakthrough moment.

I’m on to third detox right now. Today was a different day because I had to process excuses that I typically use for not following through on my plans.

Here is how it went:

i wanted to rest, so my first impulse was to read the internet, but I chose to just go outside.

Edited by Amphibian220
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