jatinverma31 Posted August 2, 2022 Share Posted August 2, 2022 Hello! Call me jatinverma31. I had games in my life since my childhood, and I got addicted to them around 2016. Before that I was able to live without them, and they didn't really pulled me towards them. But in 2016 my life changed. I was not doing good in schools. I was thinking that I would fail a class for the first time, I was very suicidal. And in that period games provided me escape, and as time passed I understood dying is probably not a good idea. I didn't stopped playing games though. My addiction started with playing online games on my phone, and when I got my PC I started playing on that. If I take an average of last 6 years, it would be around 5-6 hours. And that's just average, on some days I played 15-16 hours a day when I felt like I was gonna die by playing. Games I was addicted to were BombSquad and Call of Duty. I quit the latter a year ago, but I still find myself having problems with the first one, maybe because it's of only 60 mB, and I can download it on my phone anytime and start playing. There's very little resistance in the whole process. And with new PC, I started searching for new games, and even searching for games became my addiction. For the first 2 month after I got my PC, I didn't actually played them I just searched about them, watching videos, and browsing reviews and different opinions on them. And yeah, I also got addicted to gaming on my PC, not to any one game in particular, but whenever I started any new game, I just couldn't moderate and would not stop for days until I finished them. I have realized gaming mainly provides my escape to my real life problems, and a sense of accomplishment. As I am not doing good in my studies, gaming makes me forget about those issues. But if I keep gaming then I will never do good in my studies, and I don't want that. I have understood that 6 years of addiction is not a joke. Lying and hiding to the people around me, I don't want that. I never expected I would be dishonest to the close people around me but that's what I am today. Avoiding my friends and family and responsibilities, just so that I can play something, or watch or read about a game. I am not even living, and I have tried moderation already many times. Trying that from 2-3 years now. Never worked. I truly believe there are games that are truly a form of art, and I would love to experience them. I have played few games like that myself, and I know a long list of games that I would love to play and experience, but I can't moderate. I have realized that the notion, "once an addict, always an addict" is true for me. And no matter how much I try to moderate, by moderating I will only be fighting with my cravings of playing more and more. That's why I quit. I know it will be difficult and I will not be able to show myself as a person who knows a lot about games, and I won't be playing games when I visit someone's home now, but it's for my own good. Gaming once stopped my from suicide, but if I don't stop gaming now, it may soon lead me to it. I can feel it coming in a few months if I don't stop. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tx.ares Posted August 2, 2022 Share Posted August 2, 2022 I feel what you're saying... I too have failed multiple times at moderating my game time. I also battled with depression in my early 20s , I'm now 34 and thankfully made it out of a very dark place but still struggle with gaming addiction to this day. I don't know how old you are, but don't ever believe the thoughts that you should end your life. You're worthy and have much to look forward to after this chapter of your life and you will ultimately see it by doing what you're doing now... seeking help and working through the bad times. You're gonna make it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jatinverma31 Posted August 8, 2022 Author Share Posted August 8, 2022 6th day without games. 7th day today. I had been watching game related videos on yt though, but mostly about addiction. I also spent some time reading gaming reviews, and I will not it today (and then tomorrow). I have urges to play games. I keep thinking about playing batman games. One of my cousin showed it to me, and then I also watched the gameplay on yt. But no, I won't play it. It's better to resist than making my life mess by starting again. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
baronjake Posted August 13, 2022 Share Posted August 13, 2022 Checkout the gamequitters channel on youtube. They have a lot of helpful information, and it will help you avoid gaming by helping you understand the reasons why you game. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jatinverma31 Posted August 14, 2022 Author Share Posted August 14, 2022 On 8/13/2022 at 8:24 AM, baronjake said: Checkout the gamequitters channel on youtube. They have a lot of helpful information, and it will help you avoid gaming by helping you understand the reasons why you game. Thank you. I have already watched a few videos from this channel. Really good stuff. I still have some videos that I want to watch from this channel, and I'll watch them next time I'll watching YT in my free time, or when I feel urge to play games. Thanks 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinirad Posted August 18, 2022 Share Posted August 18, 2022 Hello jatinverma31, I know exactly how you feel. I actually gamed through my college and university years. I didn't fully commit myself to my studies. Often when I had tests to study for, or papers to write, I told myself I would game for "just a bit" to energize myself, and then ended up gaming for hours. I pulled a lot of all nighters because of gaming. I also did what you did. There were times when I stopped gaming, but I just watched videos, read reviews or browsed Steam, just to see what was new. But I can honestly tell you that all of these little actions have long term effects. They plant a seed in your mind, which grows into a craving. I noticed my cravings really decreased when I stopped reading, watching, or doing anything related to video games. One thing I did on Youtube was I clicked the settings button (the three dots next to the title of the video) on every single video game video, and I clicked "not interested." For certain channels that kept popping up, I clicked "don't recommend channel." I think it's better to completely eliminate any video game temptations from Youtube, and it's interesting to see what you are left with. By watching other videos, I started to discover other interesting topics and Youtube stopped recommending video game topics to me. It sounds like you are still a student and still young. I know the pressure of being a student can be really stressful, but suicide is never the answer. My grades were so bad in college, I almost didn't get in to university. It might feel like the whole world is coming to an end, but I guarantee you there is always another side to that door, there is always a quiet place after the storm. Don't give up, you can do it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jatinverma31 Posted August 19, 2022 Author Share Posted August 19, 2022 19 hours ago, sinirad said: Hello jatinverma31, I know exactly how you feel. I actually gamed through my college and university years. I didn't fully commit myself to my studies. Often when I had tests to study for, or papers to write, I told myself I would game for "just a bit" to energize myself, and then ended up gaming for hours. I pulled a lot of all nighters because of gaming. I also did what you did. There were times when I stopped gaming, but I just watched videos, read reviews or browsed Steam, just to see what was new. But I can honestly tell you that all of these little actions have long term effects. They plant a seed in your mind, which grows into a craving. I noticed my cravings really decreased when I stopped reading, watching, or doing anything related to video games. One thing I did on Youtube was I clicked the settings button (the three dots next to the title of the video) on every single video game video, and I clicked "not interested." For certain channels that kept popping up, I clicked "don't recommend channel." I think it's better to completely eliminate any video game temptations from Youtube, and it's interesting to see what you are left with. By watching other videos, I started to discover other interesting topics and Youtube stopped recommending video game topics to me. It sounds like you are still a student and still young. I know the pressure of being a student can be really stressful, but suicide is never the answer. My grades were so bad in college, I almost didn't get in to university. It might feel like the whole world is coming to an end, but I guarantee you there is always another side to that door, there is always a quiet place after the storm. Don't give up, you can do it. Thank you very much. I will keep trying. Today I'm starting a strict 90 days break from everything game related. I even changed my OS to linux so I can't game conveniently. Also, I have disabled YT recommendations on browser using extension, and I never browse yt recommendations on my phone. Everything's set for 90 days, all I have to do is not to install steam or games on my phone again. And most importantly I will start studying now. I have made a goal of studying atleast 5 min a day that I hope to follow these 90 days. Something to get started with my studies. It's very important and currently my studying habit is messed up. And I also think that I'll have to find a hobby, because if I take out gaming from my life then there's very little left right now, if not 'nothing'. So much empty time to fill with something, something I don't know. I currently have no idea for a hobby, but I'm hoping I'll find it with time. When I'll get bored I'll be trying new things for sure. Oh, and yes I will make efforts from myself to try new activities. Thanks for your kind words. I feel better now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sinirad Posted August 19, 2022 Share Posted August 19, 2022 Those are some great steps that you have taken. Those small actions will have a huge impact over time. Keep at it! I know you can do it. As for hobbies, I have personally started exercising. And I specifically chose to focus on calisthenics (body weight training). I don't need a gym or any fancy equipment. If you type in calisthenics in Youtube, you can see how far calisthenics can go, not only will your body look amazing, but you'll be in great shape, and you can also perform some impressive moves. I have been following the "Reddit Recommended Routine" which is a great, easy, simple, straightforward workout routine that I think anyone can follow. I have also been focusing on flexibility exercises which have been really great for those times when I just want to take a 5-10 minute break. I follow routines from Ido Portal, and The Kneesovertoesguy (Youtube channels). The great things about those exercises is that you can also do them anywhere, they are great for your physical health, flexibility, and I also feel great after a 5 minute stretch. I have always found yoga kind of boring, but Ido Portal and The Kneesovertoesguy make stretching really fun and interesting. I really enjoy doing their exercises. If you have any questions about any of the exercises mentioned above, feel free to let me know 😄 You got this friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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