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Introduction - Making the decision to quit gaming


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Hello! Call me jatinverma31. I had games in my life since my childhood, and I got addicted to them around 2016. Before that I was able to live without them, and they didn't really pulled me towards them. But in 2016 my life changed. I was not doing good in schools. I was thinking that I would fail a class for the first time, I was very suicidal. And in that period games provided me escape, and as time passed I understood dying is probably not a good idea. I didn't stopped playing games though. My addiction started with playing online games on my phone, and when I got my PC I started playing on that. If I take an average of last 6 years, it would be around 5-6 hours. And that's just average, on some days I played 15-16 hours a day when I felt like I was gonna die by playing. Games I was addicted to were BombSquad and Call of Duty. I quit the latter a year ago, but I still find myself having problems with the first one, maybe because it's of only 60 mB, and I can download it on my phone anytime and start playing. There's very little resistance in the whole process. And with new PC, I started searching for new games, and even searching for games became my addiction. For the first 2 month after I got my PC, I didn't actually played them I just searched about them, watching videos, and browsing reviews and different opinions on them. And yeah, I also got addicted to gaming on my PC, not to any one game in particular, but whenever I started any new game, I just couldn't moderate and would not stop for days until I finished them. I have realized gaming mainly provides my escape to my real life problems, and a sense of accomplishment. As I am not doing good in my studies, gaming makes me forget about those issues. But if I keep gaming then I will never do good in my studies, and I don't want that.

I have understood that 6 years of addiction is not a joke. Lying and hiding to the people around me, I don't want that. I never expected I would be dishonest to the close people around me but that's what I am today. Avoiding my friends and family and responsibilities, just so that I can play something, or watch or read about a game. I am not even living, and I have tried moderation already many times. Trying that from 2-3 years now. Never worked. I truly believe there are games that are truly a form of art, and I would love to experience them. I have played few games like that myself, and I know a long list of games that I would love to play and experience, but I can't moderate. I have realized that the notion, "once an addict, always an addict" is true for me. And no matter how much I try to moderate, by moderating I will only be fighting with my cravings of playing more and more. That's why I quit. I know it will be difficult and I will not be able to show myself as a person who knows a lot about games, and I won't be playing games when I visit someone's home now, but it's for my own good. Gaming once stopped my from suicide, but if I don't stop gaming now, it may soon lead me to it. I can feel it coming in a few months if I don't stop.

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I feel what you're saying... I too have failed multiple times at moderating my game time.  I also battled with depression in my early 20s , I'm now 34 and thankfully made it out of a very dark place but still struggle with gaming addiction to this day.   

I don't know how old you are, but don't ever believe the thoughts that you should end your life.  You're worthy and have much to look forward to after this chapter of your life and you will ultimately see it by doing what you're doing now... seeking help and working through the bad times.  You're gonna make it.   

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6th day without games. 7th day today. I had been watching game related videos on yt though, but mostly about addiction. I also spent some time reading gaming reviews, and I will not it today (and then tomorrow). I have urges to play games. I keep thinking about playing batman games. One of my cousin showed it to me, and then I also watched the gameplay on yt. But no, I won't play it. It's better to resist than making my life mess by starting again.

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On 8/13/2022 at 8:24 AM, baronjake said:

Checkout the gamequitters channel on youtube. They have a lot of helpful information, and it will help you avoid gaming by helping you understand the reasons why you game.

Thank you. I have already watched a few videos from this channel. Really good stuff. I still have some videos that I want to watch from this channel, and I'll watch them next time I'll watching YT in my free time, or when I feel urge to play games.

Thanks 🙂

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