From gaming to Discord addiction

[Secondary Woes]

Hi everybody (”Hi Dr. Nick!”)

I was addicted to gaming, but with the help of Cam’s videos I managed to quit. Thank you Cam.

For some reason, however, I find myself completely unable to quit my Discord community - I don’t want to leave all the friends I made but just chatting to them about anything is making me have cravings which I otherwise wouldn’t have. (I know this because I deleted my account and felt good - but I ended up making a new one - and here we are again…) There are so many complicated relationships and psychological hooks involved. I was wondering if it’s ok to participate on this forum with this kind of secondary problem? 🙂

It seems like such a great forum and there are so many wonderful people.

[Secondary Woes]

Without Discord I wouldn’t miss gaming at all, …you know?

It seems to me like there are a few people in the community who have the same problem but they are too embarrassed to admit it.

[checkercharlie39]

I guess it depends on how much a distraction it is for you.

I used to have what we'd probably consider an "addictive" relationship to the game Everquest (I know this dates me). I still post with folks on a message board from those days even though most of us haven't played the game in 10-15 years. Our relationships and community have well survived most of us quitting the game. I still posted there a lot even after I'd stopped playing and most folks there were still playing. It can be done! I don't necessarily think you have to lose the community as long as they're not pressuring you into coming back.

[Secondary Woes]

I think it's definitely a distraction. All the time I wasted on games has turned into wasting time on Discord. It's like trying to quit porn and alcohol but then spending all nights with your old friends at a strip club - drinking non-alcoholic drinks and asking for a table facing the other way. 😄

[TerryPHD]

So this is a question I have too? Do you uninstall discord as well?

[Vorsicon]

On 1/24/2022 at 9:11 PM, Secondary Woes said:

I think it's definitely a distraction. All the time I wasted on games has turned into wasting time on Discord. It's like trying to quit porn and alcohol but then spending all nights with your old friends at a strip club - drinking non-alcoholic drinks and asking for a table facing the other way. 😄

Hahaha that's a pretty good analogy 😆 The temptation always being there wouldn't be helpful and basically guarantees relapse.
I was on some gaming Discord Channels but left them to avoid this same issue, however I didn't have any real connections on there so it was easy for me.

Not wanting to break off those relationships is understandable, but are they more important than risking a potential relapse? Hopefully that's a helpful question.

I haven't started Chapter 2 pf Respawn yet, but I definitely understand that one addiction can just transfer to another and finding an outlet for that energy is important. I've started reading more and working on finally learning FL Studio (which I'll mention in my intro post that I'll make.....at some point...).

 

On 5/25/2022 at 10:58 AM, TerryPHD said:

So this is a question I have too? Do you uninstall discord as well?

Do you mean "did you" or are you asking "do you go to the extent of uninstalling it to avoid temptation?"
To the latter I would say, "what's more important to you- community that causes temptation or avoiding relapse?"

[TerryPHD]

OK I just bought No Man's Sky and am just in love with the game but I bought it on the 14th of last month June 14th and according to steam I have 291 hours on it it is too much I am falling apart and my wife isnt helping I want a computer but I have this gaming rig I bought last year for 2500 dollars and have spent at least 2000 dollars on star trek and other game that is the least she wont help me to help myself I don't know what to do she wont let me downgrade and try to find something otherwise this gaming computer is going to waste.

If anyone has any suggestions on what to do please feel free to let me know???? frustrated scared and tired and mentally exhausted.......!!!!!!

[rkalajian]

18 minutes ago, TerryPHD said:

 

If anyone has any suggestions on what to do please feel free to let me know???? frustrated scared and tired and mentally exhausted.......!!!!!!

Sell the high-end video card, and place an ordinary video card in the machine, or use the on-board display.

[Xarsas]

On 1/25/2022 at 7:11 AM, Secondary Woes said:

I think it's definitely a distraction. All the time I wasted on games has turned into wasting time on Discord. It's like trying to quit porn and alcohol but then spending all nights with your old friends at a strip club - drinking non-alcoholic drinks and asking for a table facing the other way. 😄

Rather late to the party - don't know how your scenario has changed, but my 2c should anyone else happen by that might need some insight.

I think it's critical to the process in any addiction, to find positive replacements for the addictions we are trying to replace. Just like you had to go sit and square up to yourself about the gaming, you need to do about discord. The fact that you posted it here means you already answered yourself on this, it's a problem.

Try and focus on the aspect of gaming you used to zero in most, was it creativity, was it trade/finance, was it the story etc - and then make sure that your top two or three "pulls" are covered by one or two hobbies.
I'll use the same thing most people tell Alcoholics, if the friends you believe are steadfast, really are, they won't just be friends in a bar, the same applies to Discord. If they are so important to you that you are willing to chance relapse, discuss your problem with them and ask what other platform you can use to chat as Discord triggers your gaming addiction.

Then as a last thought, sometimes in life, we move on from friends. Not because they suck, or we suck, our vision for life, goals etc. change. An easy example of this is when your friends start marrying, suddenly you aren't getting together every single night anymore, because now everyone has an extra person they need to attend to. This changes even more dramatically when people start having children. The same will happen with this, some friends are either also addicted, or just have no interest in a friendship outside of gaming - and you'll have to leave them behind on your journey. 

Hope this helps?

Cheers,

Rich

[Xarsas]

4 hours ago, TerryPHD said:

OK I just bought No Man's Sky and am just in love with the game but I bought it on the 14th of last month June 14th and according to steam I have 291 hours on it it is too much I am falling apart and my wife isnt helping I want a computer but I have this gaming rig I bought last year for 2500 dollars and have spent at least 2000 dollars on star trek and other game that is the least she wont help me to help myself I don't know what to do she wont let me downgrade and try to find something otherwise this gaming computer is going to waste.

If anyone has any suggestions on what to do please feel free to let me know???? frustrated scared and tired and mentally exhausted.......!!!!!!

Curiously, I just quit due to NMS myself.

Not sure what you mean by your wife won't help you help yourself, but essentially this is a decision we all need to make ourselves, no one else can make it for us, and if someone tries to force you, you'll just end up hating them for it and never really conquer your addiction.

You have two options.

1. If you don't need to use a PC for anything other than games, format the drives and strip it apart. Pack each part in a box, each box in a different place in the house. If this is going to be a temptation, sell the most valuable parts, probably GFX & CPU/MOBO or the PC as a whole. If you make a loss on the sale, see it as an investment in yourself. If you were willing to dump $4500 + on games, surely you can invest in yourself too.

2. If you do need a pc, sell the GFX and/or CPU/MOBO and replace with low spec gear that can't run anything worthwhile.

You have to change your mindset though, the PC isn't going to waste, it's something you bought that no longer has the attributed value to it. Like a health grill, smoothie maker or hundreds of other consumer items most people buy. Your life is more important than whether or not a $2500 pc is being used to it's full potential.

[TerryPHD]

In response I have all but quit gaming and most of my friends or people I talk to on discord or play with are family. I quit alcohol 33 years ago now smoking I am working on as well but the gaming has got to go. I used to play guitar but lost interest years ago I mean I played and practiced for hours it was fun just cant seem to get in the groove again also I use to like to read but now my attention span is like 10 to 15 minutes at most I need to do SOMETHING but I can't think of anything.