I quit games a couple weeks ago and my Steam accounts are in the process of being deleted. EGS account is already deleted.
I am currently separated from my family and in the next few days I may end up having a lot of time on my hands. I hope to be back home in the next few weeks or months. Gaming could be a good escape to help destress and recoup, but im worried that if I start down that road that I'll be consumed for a while to numb the pain, as was my previous lifestyle.
I started learning FL Studio but havent had much time to work on it lately and fear that the learning curve will deter me from continuing.
I have been watching more senseless YT lately too that needs to be curbed. FL Studio tutorials have been helpful to keep me learning.
I have been reading a lot more which is good- to an extent. It's also another form of escape and distraction for me, though it does encourage me to write- which I avoid at all costs cuz I'm terrified of writing and that what i will write will be no good. I know it doesnt matter and i need to just WRITE but I have difficulty moving past that.
Im writing this journal entry so i dont look for some escape right now, or maybe it is a form of escape cuz i dont want to pray right now. I dont have my laptop atm so gaming isn't really an option, but i'll have it later today.
I can go to an Anytime Fitness gym if i want to for the next couple days while i have the car, which i think i might do. Ive been going with a friend for a couple momths. I'll have to go by myself but i think i can manage that. I did that a couple weeks ago.
Im staying at a friends for a couple days and gaming has always been a go-to for us. So im not sure if he will want to and/or if i should. I kind of need a distraction right now. Ive prayed for a bit but im losing strength presently and when my friend and I will be home together later today we might want to play something. Idk. I just kind of need a distraction... i know i should keep going to Jesus but Im feeling pretty worn out.
Vors, signing off.