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Vorsicon

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Everything posted by Vorsicon

  1. I quit games a couple weeks ago and my Steam accounts are in the process of being deleted. EGS account is already deleted. I am currently separated from my family and in the next few days I may end up having a lot of time on my hands. I hope to be back home in the next few weeks or months. Gaming could be a good escape to help destress and recoup, but im worried that if I start down that road that I'll be consumed for a while to numb the pain, as was my previous lifestyle. I started learning FL Studio but havent had much time to work on it lately and fear that the learning curve will deter me from continuing. I have been watching more senseless YT lately too that needs to be curbed. FL Studio tutorials have been helpful to keep me learning. I have been reading a lot more which is good- to an extent. It's also another form of escape and distraction for me, though it does encourage me to write- which I avoid at all costs cuz I'm terrified of writing and that what i will write will be no good. I know it doesnt matter and i need to just WRITE but I have difficulty moving past that. Im writing this journal entry so i dont look for some escape right now, or maybe it is a form of escape cuz i dont want to pray right now. I dont have my laptop atm so gaming isn't really an option, but i'll have it later today. I can go to an Anytime Fitness gym if i want to for the next couple days while i have the car, which i think i might do. Ive been going with a friend for a couple momths. I'll have to go by myself but i think i can manage that. I did that a couple weeks ago. Im staying at a friends for a couple days and gaming has always been a go-to for us. So im not sure if he will want to and/or if i should. I kind of need a distraction right now. Ive prayed for a bit but im losing strength presently and when my friend and I will be home together later today we might want to play something. Idk. I just kind of need a distraction... i know i should keep going to Jesus but Im feeling pretty worn out. Vors, signing off.
  2. Hi, I wouldn't say that currently I've been addicted to games, but I have been throughout my life. I grew up on games and used them as an escape. I've been a stay at home parent for the last year or so I don't really have any time for games, but when my 1-yo would nap, then my 4-yo and I would play games- either together or separately- and I started noticing how my addiction was turning into his. I have adult ADHD and contrary to the common misconception believing that it's about not being able to sit still or even not paying attention, it's much more. It means I have trouble with impulse control due to challenged executive functions and challenged future thinking skills, among other things. My tangent aside, these conditions set me up for a lot of work if I want to exercise self-control and I have routinely not chosen to exercise self-control regarding certain things. Said things did a lot of damage to my life and now I want to cut games and TV out to deny myself what I want so I can get what I need. Sorry that this post is rather cryptic and not well explained. It's late as I don't get much time at night for things.
  3. Hahaha that's a pretty good analogy 😆 The temptation always being there wouldn't be helpful and basically guarantees relapse. I was on some gaming Discord Channels but left them to avoid this same issue, however I didn't have any real connections on there so it was easy for me. Not wanting to break off those relationships is understandable, but are they more important than risking a potential relapse? Hopefully that's a helpful question. I haven't started Chapter 2 pf Respawn yet, but I definitely understand that one addiction can just transfer to another and finding an outlet for that energy is important. I've started reading more and working on finally learning FL Studio (which I'll mention in my intro post that I'll make.....at some point...). Do you mean "did you" or are you asking "do you go to the extent of uninstalling it to avoid temptation?" To the latter I would say, "what's more important to you- community that causes temptation or avoiding relapse?"
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