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How to deal with staying at my parents' home over christmas


Marius
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I will most likely celebrate Christmas with my family of mother, father, brother. My aunt and uncle will come, too. When I stay in my parents' home my room is directly adjacent to my brother's and he likes to play video games for most of his free time. He can deal with everything in his real life and I believe he might have some trouble staying away from them but ultimately I don't consider him to be an addict. Me on the other hand will have some trouble not to become excited by how much he enjoys the games. I will just hear it through the wall. I don't think that talking to him about it will make any difference in this as enjoying his games is really important to him. Then there is my mother who will watch TV for long times of the day and my father, too. All of these activities are some sort of the ones that always lead me down a path of instant gratification addiction. I like to stay away from them. I could spent most of my time alone in my room but I will still hear the laughter and chatting from my brother's room. I could go to the basement where there is little light and work from there but it's a bit depressing tbh. The living room only allows to sit there where you have direct view and sound of the TV. I'm not completely sure how to circumvent me being tempted all day to fall back into old habits. Any ideas?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I also anticipate a similar problem. All of my siblings are pretty serious gamers. They don't struggle to handle other aspects of their lives but they do play a lot—just like your brother. One of the recommended strategies for avoiding gaming, according to the Respawn Program, is to hide/get rid of the gaming console. But that might start some beef if there are others in your house who game regularly.

My semester ends in about 3 days so I'll be home for Christmas as well. Let's not lose hope though. Here is what I'm thinking:

- Have you tried creating a schedule for yourself over the break? There's more you can do even if you might be exhausted from work/school. Try filling in some time with tasks that you've been putting off (e.g. taking out the trash, cleaning, cooking, cleaning snow from your driveway (if it snows where you're from), updating your budget, planning ahead for the next semester of school/return to work, anything else you might have on your plate). I find that it's harder to focus on gaming if you literally don't have time to play.

- My siblings are also loud when they play games. I can hear them laughing and yelling too. If you don't want to be alone, try organizing some group activities that are not related to gaming. For example, you could go see the new Spider-Man movie or something else in theaters. If your romantic partner (gf, fiancee, or wife) is in town, why not plan a date? Or you could organize a board game to play with friends or family. I know that seems boring but my siblings and I were having a blast playing Uno during Thanksgiving break. Avalon is another board game that's pretty fun.

- My fitness tends to slip during the holidays—especially because winter is harsh where I'm from. So I highly recommend making a workout routine that requires little-to-no equipment.

- Catching up with friends is also something you can do too. The pandemic really isolated me from some life-long buddies so I definitely plan on hitting them up.

- Check out Cam's list of 60+ new hobbies. Maybe you can get some new ideas that way?

Don't worry bro, I'm in the same boat. We should just try stuff and see what sticks. Just know that there's help and you're not alone. God bless you.

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On 12/18/2021 at 11:45 PM, bulldog-22 said:

I also anticipate a similar problem. All of my siblings are pretty serious gamers. They don't struggle to handle other aspects of their lives but they do play a lot—just like your brother. One of the recommended strategies for avoiding gaming, according to the Respawn Program, is to hide/get rid of the gaming console. But that might start some beef if there are others in your house who game regularly.

He uses his computer to game. So that won't be a problem but also no solution 😄 Nevertheless I have my in-ear-noise-cancellation-headphones with me. So I will definitely make use of them.

On 12/18/2021 at 11:45 PM, bulldog-22 said:

- Have you tried creating a schedule for yourself over the break? There's more you can do even if you might be exhausted from work/school. Try filling in some time with tasks that you've been putting off (e.g. taking out the trash, cleaning, cooking, cleaning snow from your driveway (if it snows where you're from), updating your budget, planning ahead for the next semester of school/return to work, anything else you might have on your plate). I find that it's harder to focus on gaming if you literally don't have time to play.

Yes I should definitely do that. The last few days saw me staying up way to long. I'm currently rushing through the freecodecamp website. There are a lot of programming challenges and many seem fairly easy until you hit bugs and have to be creative. I have to learn for my final exams. Have postponed that for a long time now. The intention was to first learn how to write Python addons for Anki, so that would help me learn my stuff in an organized way. It takes too much time though. I have to find a different solution. I have to apply for a doctoral thesis and an internship over the break. These are definitely two things that I have to undergo.

 

On 12/18/2021 at 11:45 PM, bulldog-22 said:

- My siblings are also loud when they play games. I can hear them laughing and yelling too. If you don't want to be alone, try organizing some group activities that are not related to gaming. For example, you could go see the new Spider-Man movie or something else in theaters. If your romantic partner (gf, fiancee, or wife) is in town, why not plan a date? Or you could organize a board game to play with friends or family. I know that seems boring but my siblings and I were having a blast playing Uno during Thanksgiving break. Avalon is another board game that's pretty fun.

Sure I could do that. I'm not friends with many people though in the town where I'm from and the one friendship I kept caring for is a bit toxic atm. Would prefer not to do anything in that regard atm. So I had to find new friends while being really busy with coding/learning. Don't have a romantic partner and won't have for a long time: I'm not working out that much atm, so I'm not that attractive as I used to be. Also there have been so many destroyed relationships in the past that I think the best is to find a new self first before looking for someone new. Board games with family I would really like but the past has shown that even when they become excited at one point that won't last until the evening when they would like to do something else often. My brother prefers to play games and my parents watch TV.... It's not that big of a town and it's the christmas season, so I don't know if I might be able to find any new friends. Still I also feel that working on my coding skills really isolates me at the moment.I feel the need to do so though as I try to get this addon working for the next big exams.

On 12/18/2021 at 11:45 PM, bulldog-22 said:

My fitness tends to slip during the holidays—especially because winter is harsh where I'm from. So I highly recommend making a workout routine that requires little-to-no equipment.

I'm currently suffering from insomnia and I guess celiac disease/IBS which really destroys me interest in working out. I would like to start with a challenge by Mark Lauren which is mostly equipment free but I keep putting it off as I say to myself that other things are more important. might help with digestion and sleep though.. well, I'll start tomorrow.

 

On 12/18/2021 at 11:45 PM, bulldog-22 said:

- Catching up with friends is also something you can do too. The pandemic really isolated me from some life-long buddies so I definitely plan on hitting them up.

would need to find new ones. not easy during Christmas in small towns.

On 12/18/2021 at 11:45 PM, bulldog-22 said:

- Check out Cam's list of 60+ new hobbies. Maybe you can get some new ideas that way?

could practice piano again.I feel mostly obliged though to become better at coding though atm.

 

Thanks for your suggestions. I will try to implement what works for me. I already made up my mind to only stay for a week at my parents as well. That will limit the time I have to spend in this environment.

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