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Tea's Tale: A Journey to a healthier, better, happier life...


teA
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Hello again, my name is tea!

I recently posted my story of how my life has been up to this point, what I hope to achieve and why I joined this community! I will link that below in case any of you are interested.

To sum it up, I never had a problem with gaming. The energy draining monster that has been attacking my life is Social media, (mostly YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok). 

My goal while I'm here is to stop using these platforms. I of course will use YouTube if I need it for schoolwork, but my main focus is to not watch garbage, distracting content or content that I've already watched one billion times.

For my laptop I'm going to put in a website blocker after this entry so I can control what I can and cannot use. For my phone (the main problem), I'm obviously going to delete those apps and install an app that enables me to control how much time I spend on my phone.

I think the reason I keep going on YouTube and TikTok is because I have no motivation. So, whenever I watch someone or read about someone who has achieved a dream similar to mine, I get excited, since it's like I actually have achieved them myself, even though I haven't. 

While this seems great, it's actually not and makes me lazier. Even though I struggle with motivation and tell myself "I can't." watching someone isn't going to change those behaviors inside of me. At this point I think in order to change my behaviors I actually have to do those activities myself.

***

Day of detox is 0.

I watched YouTube today. 

I think in renewing myself and reaching my goals. I need to start small. So for now I'm going to set up a small morning routine, and try to work on one hobby per day. 

So for the first few weeks - a typical day might look like this:

Wake at 6:30 AM

Read

Pray to God 

Workout

Then the hobby of that day ( I would work on one hobby for 2 weeks before moving onto the next one), would either be:

Learning French or Chinese

Learning how to Code

Writing

Practicing Music Production/Song writing

 

I feel like doing something like this and then working on one hobby per 2 weeks will not only help me establish a routine, and work towards my dreams but it also will keep me away from YouTube. If you want let me know what your thoughts are on this!

Have a good day!

Tea

 

Here's the link to my introduction story if you all are interested:

https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/10105-a-new-start/

 

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Do you know Andrew Kirby on YouTube?

Also I recommend:

 

Stay Focused for Android

DF Youtube

Rescue Time

 

To your question: waking up early is great, it's important to win the day after waking up early so what you do in the first hour after your alarm clock rang is really really important to make your day a success. Try to always pick something you are not overwhelmed with but still drives you in the right direction. On this note providing your mind with positive results from your planned days is crucial to create a positive feedback loop so you want to do these tasks more often. So in general: Try to do the hardest thing you are absolutely sure you won't fail with. Do you work/go to school/uni? Pray to god: Ok, I have become more religious in the last years even though I have to say that it mostly feels like a symptom of my sleep deprived brain so can't really give you a good opinion whether I think it's good or bad. Just one idea: The premise of a god entails most likely that this being has some power over you and your actions. Thinking that way might hinder your perceived self-efficacy. So I don't know if that helps during this rehab. Workout is always great whether you are just depressed or addicted. helps with girls/boys as well 😉 I don't understand why you would like to always switch to a new hobby. Honestly sticking with one might be helpful to train your brain with building up perseverance and discipline. Coding/language learning is really helpful in private and business, so yes do that. Writing and song writing sound really creative.

Edited by Marius
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Hi @Marius thanks for the feedback, I found some of it insightful! I downloaded Rescue Time on my phone, so we'll see how it plays out.

Today didn't change from yesterday. I still watched YouTube. Not because of boredom though. The reason I watched today was because whenever I eat out in public I get nervous and feel pressured if I am not watching something -- it's kind of a bad routine I've established. I learned through this though that eating without watching things can open me up to meeting new people and learning. I also do want to become more sociable, so that's something. Gotta break these habits. If anyone has any advice on ways to start doing that please let me know!

I know why I've been afraid of opening myself up to people. The amount of bullying I received, along with people who I thought were friends excluding me or betraying me, made me anxious, lonely and depressed, and made me lose my trust in people. I want to regain that trust I had.

I think this is why YouTube and Music listening became addicting, it was a way for me to isolate myself from people so I didn't get hurt. I need to learn how to deal with being hurt, despite it sucking, and people who turn your back on you or bully you being selfish jerks. A lot of bad things; rejection, loss, pain, will happen in life. If I seclude myself I will never know how to healthily deal with it and move forward.

Going to try again tomorrow

Have a good day! 

Tea

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Thanks,

one idea I have may be to write down your emotions and thoughts when you are in a public place eating. So rather than falling into routine mode just let the negative emotions fade after you have endured a minute with them. Then write down what you think. Just journaling in general. That might help you to understand what pressures you so much during these events. Try to understand yourself and why you feel so uncomfortable.

I don't know if what I say helps but I think you have to redefine your self-perception. When you were bullied you may have actually started believing some of the negative attributions others made about you. Cut through the lies and look at yourself as a person that is likeable and possesses many positive characteristics. Write them down. Build self-esteem. Working out helps, too. Collect all those little successes during this rehab. Build momentum, so you have enough courage to engage with new people with the risk of failure. It is low though. You have to keep that in mind. If you are in a situation where there are many people that like to get to know each other you will most surely meet at least one person that you would like to become friends with and that supports you.

So to sum it up: build a support network of people you would like to be friends with. Avoid those that hurt you. They are not worth your time.

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@Marius Thanks again for the suggestions! I think that both those suggestions are good places to start. I will bring a journal with me next time I head out!

 

Watched youtube again, this time through a free music app called Musi. I have since deleted that app. I need to just write down what I'm feeling if I have negative emotions not waste it in a platform(s) that gives me a false sense of connection. 

Going to try again with my routine tomorrow. 

I noticed that's something I struggle with, actually starting things. Once I start them I'm good with them, it's the challenge of actually starting them. It seems like I can't just sit down and do them. Might have to reflect on this as well.

Have a good day!

Tea!

 

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