albrechtjess

Day 24 Fell asleep before I could write. It was an interesting day with a good start but things got a little heated for me at work. I'm getting super frustrated and I need to focus more at home and get back on the ball. This waiting for an answer on the job interview is not going to help me get ahead if it doesn't go through so I need to keep working. On the podcast yesterday they mentioned talking about 3 things that worked for you or benefited your day so I'm gonna list some of that. 1. Getting right out of bed, no snooze or nothing. Just right up. 2. Focusing on the work helped calm me down from the fire I was feeling. 3. Leaving early helped with my stress. I don't know, pretty bare bones but I can keep building a list. I wanna read about the miracle morning because that sounds like something I need for myself lately as I've struggled to get up and moving since the interview. Moving forward. - Jess

Day 23 Today I was reminded of why I'm looking for a job. So much stuff at work just gets under my skin. I'm tired of it and I'm ready to move on. I honestly want to put in my 2 weeks and just figure it out as I go but I know I can handle the job hunt at the same time it's just hard. Listening to the GQ podcast on commitment was very helpful as well because I feel like the last 3 days I have not been very committed. It's been a tough week. I've got a therapy appointment tomorrow so we'll see how it goes. Just want tomorrow and Saturday to be over so I can go enjoy a nice weekend at the ocean. Ta ta for now. - Jess

Day 22 Made it 3 weeks, been enjoying the GQ podcast. Today it kind of hit me that the last two days I had fallen back into food and time habits and I think it stems from my lack of planning and commitment to waking up on time. I want to change that tomorrow by waking up at 8am and preparing for a different interview. I also want to shower. There's some more work I need to do like what I want to do for my diet. I've been noticing this drive to be competitive again and I'm curious about competitive activities I can work at. I suppose I can compete with myself to be better and better and do better and better. So a pretty wild thing happened today. I got selected to be in the omegathon for PAX which is basically being 1 of 20 of the thousands who go to PAX. Now I had planned on going to pax and I still plan on going but dam is it going to be weird being in a video game competition when I'm trying to game less. As long as I'm not gaming on home too much in my spare time I am good. So far I have not gamed at home for 22 days and I will continue that until I get a job or the last week in August before the competition where I can practice a little bit and prepare for the competition. It should be fun but I don't want to use it as justification to game at home. When I do practice that last week of August it will be tightly managed and be very focused practice as it needs to be productive and not mindless. I don't want to slip into bad habits. I thinks tightening my schedule and following through on those commitments are what I need to work on for the next month. Off to bed, goodnight all - Jess

Thanks Mettermrck, no word back yet. Day 21 Today was interesting, I get in strange moods when I'm waiting for a response to a job interview. Like my whole world depends on it and it certainly does but it's like I put everything on pause. I just slept the day away waiting for a response. Work was strange, got through it all but got roped into helping with paint which kept me there til an hour or so ago. My boss really appreciates me and what I've done and sees that I can do more and he communicated that well. Definitely some opportunities I can take advantage of and get some things moving at work. Something kind of cool is that if I get this new job I can even still help my old place of work a little bit so that'll be cool. Just in a strange mood and need to figure my way through it but I"m sure things will get easier when I figure out what's going on with my current interview process. On to tomorrow - Jess

Thanks Tom2, I hope so too

Day 20 Wow I just realized I forgot to hit submit reply yesterday haha so I just hit it and will start tonight's. Today was wild, I had a really good interview with great conversations and hopefully it'll continue forward into a job. It'd be amazing to meet my goal this early into respawn. If I am to hit my goal it'd leave me with a lot of questions and kind of unsure how to move forward. All I've wanted is an awesome job with some good evening time for friends and activities and this opportunity would likely allow for that. It would even allow for some time to game guilt free as I wouldn't have to work towards finding a job anymore, or at least I think that's what I'd feel. I guess I do still feel like I've got some additional goals with my programming and learning and detox. I think this has brought a lot of vision towards how I can spend my time outside of gaming to bring positive results. It's odd that gaming almost seems selfish to me because it's just taking my time for my own personal entertainment and not building something else that could benefit others. It's an interesting perspective but definitely something I'm feeling at the moment. Thinking about all the additional places I could go if I can get this job and advance further in the company. Certainly some exciting doors and we'll see what happens. For now I think I'll try focus a bit on some programming and maybe some reading before work tomorrow. Keep that progress a going haha later - Jess

Day 19 Today was such a wild ride, got a little bit of reading done, took a nap. Went to costco and listened to the gamequitters podcast which was quite interesting talking about new perspectives and the like. Then I got to play with some new Virtual Reality tech that a friend of mine is working on and it was amazing. Virtual Reality is so interesting because it's the start of an industry and it's kind of something I'd like to be a part of but I can't help but struggle a bit in wondering where my place in it all is. I'll be interviewing tomorrow for a VR position and I'm super stoked for it but I'm curious what the next step will be after it if I were to get the position. Guess we'll find out when I get there.

Day 18 Today was okay, got a little work done though not a whole lot. I haven't woke up on time in 3 days so I should probably fix that so I can be more consistent. Work was easy going and nice for the most part. Ate a little too much so need to figure that out too. - Jess

Day 17 I got super triggered this morning, it's like all the work I've done all week hasn't happened and like I am the old me. I keep stressing and jumping to food and social media and just trying to escape. I ate a lot of bad food today. I had no impulse control. I feel tired, like I'm tired of trying. Maybe I just to take a little bit and recharge, go for a walk, read a book. I think I should have done some of that today but I was in a tough spot. - Jess

Day 16 Today went okay, I didn't wake up on time again but I did get some good programming work in on a new project of mine. I haven't read in awhile which would be nice to do. Maybe I'll read some tonight. Work was frustrating, everything got delayed an hour and customers were not happy. Then they fired my friend pretty sad about that, I think she'll be okay though. I'm pretty happy that I've been programming and job applying just about everyday. This is what I've been wanting to do for a long time and I'm super happy I am on board with it and plan to keep going everyday until I get a job I'm proud of I keep thinking about what happens after I get that 9-5 job. Will I start gaming again since I'll have time? I feel like i might just stop. I kind of feel like I'm ready to move on. It annoys me a bit that games much like cigarettes and alcohol is specifically crafted and marketed for addictive consumption. I always had this dream game that I'd love to make. Maybe i'll try to make that instead of playing them and that can be my last hoorah for the gaming world. I don't know I'll figure out when I get there. For now it's applications and programming. - Jess Albrecht

Day 15 It started off very challenging but got better in the middle. I woke up late, with cramps and hunger pains. I was very tired and was writing a post about to close early on my fast but was able to meditate and then found a cool internship opportunity with HTC to apply for and that got me through to work where I rewarded myself with a larger packed lunch than usual and then could only finish half of it haha but anyways I'm super happy I made it through the 48 hour fast, I had never done so and I feel like I learned a lot about my hunger and eating habits. I'm not sure how strictly I will stay with once a day but I think it's a good goal to move towards to better encourage my focus and health. I feel really tired still and kind of like sleeping in tomorrow but we'll see what I decide. Also downloaded the Game Quitters podcast and am enjoying it so far. Later - Jess

This was the video I watched that inspired the fasting. From what I read your body does consume muscle but only after you've reached a starvation state and are free of body fat. Now a starvation state is different than a fasting state. A starvation state is reached after you've burnt all of your body fat. Here's a link to an article I read on the subject. https://www.dietdoctor.com/fasting-muscle-mass There's also a few ted talks on the subject. Some of them are linked in that YouTube video's description.

Day 14 Two weeks, woop woop, it feels like it's been longer but here I am Made some good improvements, I got a lot of work done today and I am super happy with that starting a routine and it should work in my favor for getting a new job. I'm applying for jobs every morning for two hours or so followed with some reading and programming. I'm shooting for 48 hours of fasting and then a meal. So far so good, It's wild how much the hunger comes and goes. Like it'll just be there and then the next thing I know it passes. Makes me think a lot about our cravings for games and food. They come and go and if you just let them go they'll go away. I'm not sure what I'm going to do after 48 hours. I might eat or I might just keep going. I drank a ton of water and tea today. I have quite a bit of body fat so I should be good for awhile. If I feel any pain I'm definitely going to eat again. I think after I lose my body fat I want to settle into a routine of eating once a day. Once a day with good meals so every meal feels like a treat. I've just had a really unhealthy relationship with food for a long time and I think this is helping a lot with my focus and habits. I just have to keep persevering. If I do okay I might go for a 72 hour fast. I don't think I want to go longer than that. It kind of scares me. Certainly people have done longer so longer is achievable. I think I'll use some of my time to research it a bit more to be safe. On to tomorrow - Jess

Cheers <3 we're here for each other, welcome aboard

The fasting sort of motivates me to stay busy so I can let go of the hunger cravings. They come and go and it really is surprising when I notice they've gone away. Lots of water helps too I definitely couldn't dry fast or fast without water haha

Woah is this a time tracking software or app you're using?

What podcast are you talking about? Is it the game quitters one?

Great Job Sounds like you're making a lot of progress in areas you want to. Keep it up

Day 13 Got a lot of cleaning done and made a circle expand for an html project I'm working on I also started fasting after I watched an interesting video on eating once a day instead of a lot. Went 19 hours without food, I drank a lot of water. I have fasted before and I think it'll help me a lot with my diet and binge eating problems. I've cooked a nice meal both times with lots of goodies in it and feel very satisfied Now I just need to work on my schedule. I spent some time organizing some old Yu-GI-Oh cards as I'll be playing some with a friend of mine here soon might play some pokemon cards with my room mate tonight and do some more programming and reading. Much better day than yesterday - Jess

Welp fell asleep before I could post last night. Went to a meetup today, decided not to go to a Halo Tournament thing. Went pretty well. I noticed I've been sleeping a lot. My passion and excitement seems to be really low at the moment. It was a good day but now that it's night I feel tired and want to be productive but I don't at the same time. It's rough. - Jess

Day 11 I felt frustrated from committing too much time to someone and now it's sort of ruined my attraction for them. I just need more time for myself at the moment and I think I'm going to take it. I wanted to spend more time on a project this week but prioritized her. I think I learned the even sexual connection can be used as an escape and I could feel myself doing that. Social and sexual connection is certainly important but I think I just need to chill. Work was horrific, there were a lot of things that weren't communicated and it was long and frustrating. I'm hoping today and next week are better. I also feel like I need to write more. I feel on edge like my desire to escape is pulling me away. I still try to escape things through socializing and food because they pull me away from other things I find stressful. - Jess

Day 10 1/9th of the way there. I still find myself in these unhealthy patterns of handling stress but I think I'm getting a little better with some of them. Still struggle to stop eating at work but it's so hard sometimes because I get so frustrated and tired of working there. Just need to make the best of it and everyday so that I can move on. I did good with waking up and following my routine. When I returned from my date I didn't follow my routine because I hadn't set one. Tomorrow I'll have to change that so I actually do something. Welp I'll keep on keeping on. - Jess

Day 9 Work on my routine took too long to get started. I ran into quite a few problems with stress eating as I was trying to work on some programs and problems. I also was escaping to YouTube Music Videos and dating apps. The dating apps are fun but I can tell they're a distraction that I use when I am bored and I need to work on resolving that habit. I made some work on my routine using my google calendar. Going to make the best of tomorrow so that it doesn't turn out like today. I need to remember that this is for the new me and finding a new job so I need to focus some of my energy on applications and cover letters as well as development. I have found a meetup group for next Sunday that I think i'm going to go to. I'm a tad torn between that and this Halo Tournament. Both are good networking opportunities for some of my long term goals but I think the Meetup group would possibly help me more though I'm unsure and it depends on whether I can finish this bracket making program for the tournament. We'll see how things go for me this week. - Jess

Day 8 Super tired but wanted to write something. I ate a lot today, happy to be home and looking forward to waking up in the morning and working on my new routine. Sweet dreams and goodnight everyone. Definitely been trying to focus on other activities. Thanks for your support Mettermrck ❤️ -Jess

Day 7 Today was pretty easy to avoid games. My roommate brought the switch but I had no desire to play. I think it's cool that you can bring it places and play but eh at the same time with battery life and such. Regardless it was a good day. Drive was nice, ate too much food at one point though when's I recognized I was just eating I stopped. Been blowing through this startup book. I more or less started yesterday and I'm already 50 pages in or so. I keep thinking about my own skills and passions and what I could create as a product. My thoughts first focused on AR entertainment and software development but I also keep thinking about my communication and patience. Makes me curious if I could consult or help someone in some way socially or in relationships. I feel like I possibly could though it's not something I engage with in conversations too much but I feel like I'd like to give advice for. Just a desire of mine I suppose, to share my relationship ideas and thoughts. They certainly don't match up with everyone's but I think they're ethical and work out well for me. It'd certainly help craft the world in the image I'd like it to be. Welp I think that'll do for now. Super tired and ready for some camping sleep Zzzz ? -Jess