KO

5/14/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Cheated myself Exercise Summary: Been skipping, going to continue Monday General: Relapsed yesterday, wasn’t it worth it. The game was boring and felt like I was doing chores. Feel unproductive as fuck spent a good amount of time watching TV. Going to full commit to this change, so far, I’ve been half-assing everything and getting slapped with mediocre results. Knowledge Gained: Obsession and desperation are damn powerful. Plan for Tomorrow: Do the damn the thing

Relapsed on the 14th, regret it. Installed Cold Turkey and not going to look this time.

5/12/2017 I want to forget about this day

5/11/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: E->D Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Unpalatable junk Exercise Summary: Rest day not feeling it. General: YO It’s KO after another mini-hiatus. It’s just not working. I quit video games, I quit watching porn and masturbation, and I quit Reddit. Yet I still feel that I’m doing something wrong. My roommate started to drama with our ex-friends over text and I wanted no part in but he included me anyway. I have done it in the past but learned that if confrontation is unnecessary then it is not worth it. I really need to think about the people I associate with, get new friends? No, fuck having friends! Now he accuses me of avoiding him because I might be busy this summer. I’ll just be forever alone. Fuck it, I need to seriously reflect on my life I never felt this bad before. I give too many shits and fucks about things that don’t matter. Spirit levels are getting low, losing sight of the bigger picture. Charisma seems to be going up. I’ve been effortlessly greeting people and starting conversations with them. 3+/3 people greeted Knowledge Gained: N/A. I seriously cannot think of one take away from today. Plan for Tomorrow: Daily routine, apply for more jobs, start a project not sure if coding or creative project but something to do before I relapse.

Previously reading The Art of Not Giving a Fuck, put the book on hold but I enjoyed the content. Much different than the generic self-help nonsense you get. The concepts discussed in the book are applicable, like have a value system and holding yourself accountable. Currently reading The Slight Edge after various recommendations, not far in yet.

Good to hear that you took action quickly. It's strange how nostalgia can hit us after we've been away from gaming from so long, I've been battling with it recently too. How's things going now? I just installed a game, so another relapse may occur if the game decides to work.

I relapsed around the 29th, I uninstalled right after because I remember how lackluster the game was.

We all have days like that. I'm sorry you had a terrible day. Each day is a fresh start. Hope the next one is better. Thank you!

YO, It's KO and this Day was objectively shit and I'll leave it at that.

4/17/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: E Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: Two eggs sandwiches on a multigrain bagel with American cheese. 2 Cups of water. 2 Slices of bacon. 3 oz. of potatoes Meal 2: Spinach. Chicken sandwich on a roll. Meal 3: Chicken. White rice. Broccoli. Exercise Summary: Light Week OHP 65lb, 85lb, 95lb x5 Dips 5x6+ Chins 5x5+ General Activity Log: YO! It's KO. Doing a soft reset on myself. Limiting my morning routine to meditation(timed/guided) and evening routine to reading. I tried to do too much so I broke and went back to my old ways. Read 10 pages today. JFC I want to die right now. Knowledge Gained: *To recreate yourself something must be lost. Plan for Tomorrow: Keep up with morning routine and evening routine. Complete 1 lesson on udacity.

Sup bro!

4/12/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: E Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Eat like chit and look like chit Exercise Summary: N/A Rest Day General Activity Log: YO! It’s KO back from the ded! Bombed a test, I’d be surprised if otherwise. Invested my time into shit posts on Reddit and YouTube hoping for a solid return. Depression hit me like woooooah, “you feel that motherfucka? Welcome home bitch.” Decided to finally clean my room hoping to cure my depression. It didn’t but my room is looking extra fresh yo! Time to listen to depressing to music, I cry myself to sleep or get tired of singing along and knock myself out. Whichever comes first goddamn it! Knowledge Gained: Don’t force anything, don’t try. Plan for Tomorrow: Early wake up start an actual morning routine. My morning routine will start with meditation/stretch 5-10 minutes, reading for 15+ minutes, and journaling for 5 minutes. No more contrast showers, strictly cold for now. I’m too soft right now.

3/20/2017-Bouncing back from my relapse,going back to full journal entries tomorrow.

3/17/17-Break+Home=Relapse

3/2/17-Almost gave in today, fuck that.

2/19/17 and 2/20/17 not best days

The day before yesterday I greeted three strangers. I got responses, two verbal and one non verbal. Yesterday I only greeted two strangers. Not comfortable enough to do a full on approach yet, only when passing people. So 5/100 done It's good to do it when passing people, but if you'll feel it's not as uncomfortable as usual, it means you can make this exercise harder. One of the best way to do this is to say hello to people on a bus stop. That's becuase you're waiting for a bus and you both will have to spend some time at the same place even if greeting will fail. But trust me, it won't. Anyways, good job, and keep it up KO! Thank you :). I've been keeping to myself recently though.

The day before yesterday I greeted three strangers. I got responses, two verbal and one non verbal. Yesterday I only greeted two strangers. Not comfortable enough to do a full on approach yet, only when passing people.

You can bench 200lb and you are body ranked C? That's one tough ranking system keep it up man! I think I can do better or I expect too much from my self right now. Thank you, man.

2/6/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: E Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Mostly junk such as fries. Workout Summary: Squat 305lb. 5x5 Missed a few reps at the last set. Made them up. Bench 200lb. 5x5 Didn’t warm up. Failed at the last set. Almost died if two guys didn’t notice, god bless them. Despite the situation, we ended up laughing about it. Note to self. Bring and lift with a spotter. Deadlift 370lb. Double overhand grip. No changes General Activity Log: 2/3 strangers greeted. Both responded Knowledge Gained: 2 minutes of mindfulness meditation No more contrasting showers, jumping in cold and leaving cold. Didn’t make time for my hobbies/goals again. Getting absolutely rekted by school. The gym fail reminded me that my time is still ticking, I’m not invincible, my time will come, blah blah, *more incoherent unintelligible writing from ya boy* Plan for Tomorrow: GSD!

2/4/17 Felt like a zero-day, ended up relaxing. Greeted 3 strangers. Only 1/3 responded. 2/5/17 Another relaxing zero-day. Only greeted one stranger, got a response. 1/1!

2/3/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: E Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: Tea. Water. 4oz eggs. Omelets with spinach, onions, turkey. Banana. Bowl of fruit. Meal 2: Cheesesteak. Pickles. Fries. Meal 3: Chicken. Green beans. Potatoes. Turkey sandwich. Flat bread pizza. Workout Summary: 350lb 5RM Squat-No changes 145lb 3RM Overhead Press-Grinder, OHP progression is stalling 200lb Power Clean 3x5-No changes General Activity Log: 5 minutes’ mindfulness meditation. Made new friend today over a shirt I wore today, the conversation didn’t become awkward the end. 25 minutes+ of Python done. Finished the chapter, on basic flow control statements after putting it off for so long @_@. Worked on business? Nope  Knowledge Gained: N/A Plan for Tomorrow: GSD

I've been abstaining video games but I find other ways to slack off. Charisma is still pretty low, I rarely initiate conversations or speak to people other than friends and family. My introversion and monkey brain can fuck off. Well, it depends if you want to change this state or not. But if you do, I have a task for you. Say "Hello" to stranger (it can be man or woman) and that's it! Sometimes you'll not get response, but in most you will! Trust me! Do it 3 times a day 5 days a week and tell me how it goes. Obviously, if you want to change your Charisma stat Greetings, Mad Pharmacist Challenge accepted.

I've been abstaining video games but I find other ways to slack off. Charisma is still pretty low, I rarely initiate conversations or speak to people other than friends and family. My introversion and monkey brain can fuck off.

1/30/2017 Stats: Spirit: D Body: C Mind: C Charisma: E Discipline: E Developmental Potential: A Meal Summary: Meal 1: Flat bread pizza. White rice. Orange chicken. Broccoli. Grape tomatoes. Meal 2: Flat bread pizza. Sweet potatoes. Hash browns. Broccoli. Grape tomatoes. Spinach. Raisins. Granola. Workout Summary: 5x5 300lb Squat. No changes 5x5 120lb Press(Overhead). Last reps were grinders. 5x1 365lb Deadlift (Double Hook Grip). No changes General Activity Log: Mindfulness mediation is getting much easier. I’m going to increase the daily sessions by one minute every two weeks. Daily action for 5-programs: Did 25 minutes of learning/coding in Python. Didn’t do the daily action for my systems/goals. Knowledge Gained: A lot of my knowledge gains are lessons I’ve already learned but failed to internalize. I’ll keep on regurgitating them until I internalize them. Plan for Tomorrow: G.S.D.