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Sarma

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Everything posted by Sarma

  1. @Cam Adair I just remembered you said you got lessons from a pro counter-strike player when you were playing games. Who is it i'm really curious ?
  2. Yesterday i started a typing fast course on typingclub.com . Its something that i always wanted to learn but never really did it because of my gaming addiction. I have been enjoying it a lot and was wondering if it releases more dopamine like games do maybe?
  3. Wow thanks for the reply. You made me laugh a bit haha. Good word flobbled. I get it, it's hard to deal with but i gotta get through it. I gotta work on improving my self or i will never go further. The reason i'm addicted to games is simply because i liked them so much. Recently not so much and it has been affecting my life and i feel it isn't healthy anymore to play. I feel like my biggest problem is dealing with school. I used to be a good student and seemed like it was so easy to me. Ever since i started high school i have just been getting worse. I'm so stressed about it but i cant not give a fuck, you understand? I feel like i won't be able to do anything productive until i get good at school again. I see you replied to my post for accountability. Lets do it .
  4. I have been feeling depressed for about 2 years now. I've learned to deal with it to some extent but its still there. Sometimes i will have okay days, some days i feel so much depressed that i can barely speak to someone,eat very poorly and just feel like dying. But i almost never have good or great days. I think i had a good day once or twice in the past 2 years. I don't know is it because of my age. I'm 16 and i'm at that point between adult and teenager. Is that why i feel like this? I've heard from other people that feeling sadness in early adult hood is normal. Nobody seems to experience it like i do tho. I feel like I'm in a bottomless pit and i keep falling down deeper and deeper into it everyday and that there's no way out. I feel like in a few years i won't be able to handle it anymore and that i'm gonna kill myself. I've been to a therapist several times and i still go. I don't feel any difference tho. I feel like my family doesn't care about me anymore. I feel like they just want me out of the house so they can forget about me. It feels so unreal. I often think about how much better it was when i was younger.... Is this how every adult feels?
  5. Hello everyone! You might remember me posting a few months ago. I was trying to quit a few times and always failed. This time i'm gonna commit to quitting a 110%. I'm not gonna try and hope to accomplish the goal. I'm gonna do it. For about 3 years i have been letting everything around me happen. I would never finish a goal i started. I have gone from a great student in school to someone who would get a good grade and then be lazy for a month and do nothing. I have been depressed for a long time now. I'm gonna commit from now on to every goal i set for my self. I'm gonna force my self to do my goals.
  6. Day 2 Three goals I want to accomplish right now: Get a girlfriend Improve my social skills Go out more take each goal and brainstorm ideas for a project: I dont understand what im supposed to write here. Can someone help?
  7. I got the game quitters challenge yesterday and im gonna try and post my experience from these 30 days everyday. Day 1 • Write a letter to yourself about how you’re currently feeling and why it’s important to you to move on from games. Why do you want to make this change in your life? Since i quit gaming i have felt happy. Before that i would keep playing games and feel depressed. I always said in my head gaming is not the problem. I should move on because i'm just not interested in playing games anymore. I started playing when i was 5 years old. I had a blast, but we all get bored of something after sometime. So at this point its something i've been doing for years so naturally i keep doing it. My brain doesn't want me to keep doing gaming for the rest of my life so its telling me i should stop and experience the world out there. I want to quit so i can have a ton of friends that i can rely on everyday. I want to have better social skills so i can keep conversations going. I want to have a girlfriend. I want to be more confident in myself. • Write one or two sentences describing how you believe other people currently perceive you. I think people perceive me as a weird and stupid guy. As someone who's a laughing stock. • Write one or two sentences describing how you’d like to be perceived by others. I would like to be perceived as a good guy, a friend you can rely on. Someone who's outgoing. • List three of your behaviors or characteristics you would like to change. Shy, often argue with people, i change moods often, thoughtless • Determine how many more days you have left to live. 16433 days to live whats the point of this?
  8. Yep I've seen more than one! We did just get our first member from Syria though! Oh cool ! Do you know their names maybe?
  9. Are there any other people from Serbia Cam?
  10. I have been going out more lately and i think it really helps me relax. I'm gonna take vitamins for a couple of days just in case. Thanks for the suggestion !
  11. I haven't been in a traumatic event as i remember. Why would low atmospheric pressure be a problem. I'm trying to not think about how everything seems to suck and it helps. I'm not trying to change the feeling. I'm just letting it pass by and it feels a lot better.
  12. Tomorrow's gonna be a week since i quit gaming once again after a relapse. I've been going out with friends a lot more and helps to not think about gaming. At home i finally watched the 6th season of The Walking Dead. I could never watch it because i was gaming all the time. I've been having mixed thoughts ever since i quit again, probably because its summer brake and i have more free time. Yesterday i thought of playing Assassin's creed because i was very bored. So i downloaded it. So before installing i said i'm gonna gonna wait a bit and do something else and see if i wanna play. So i haven't installed the game, i've done other things and i kind of avoided playing it. I'm feeling really weird right now, i have this feeling like im actually avoiding games to do something else. I can't imagine a world without gaming and i'm feeling sad and happy at the same time. I watched a a gameplay video today to check if i feel anything towards the game and actually i felt nothing. It was like i was some kid who was watching a clip about politics. I'm starting to imagine how im gonna grow up and talk to my kids about how i used to game and how epic it was.
  13. Ok, i'll try You've got this Should i force my self to do mentally engaging things even if i dont like it. Is it just the dopamine talking?
  14. Ever since the end of last year i haven't felt the same. Suddenly all the motivation i had to do stuff was gone. It doesn't feel like life. I've been trying to find happiness since february. Anything i do just isn't fun. I feel like if my mother died i wouldn't be sad at all. It's like i forgot how to feel. I'm constantly in this mental state where the tone of my voice is the same and when i raise it, it's because i'm forcing it. I thought that it was because of gaming, i thought i was doing what i don't want. Although i just can't feel like how i did 6 or 7 months ago. I feel like i'm going insane. I don't understand what happened 7 months ago that made this happen. Have i changed my life style? I started my first year in highschool in september. At that moment i felt like i was on top of the world. I'm starting to think this is what people should actually feel.
  15. Hey everyone! It's been almost a month since i've posted here and it's because i've relapsed . It was because i felt empty even tho i was having a lot of fun. Ever since i relapsed i felt like shit. So today i deleted all of my games again, and i am going to continue my journey where i left of. Now i completely understand that i dont want to game at all. No game interests me and its like going to school, you are forced to. It feels like im forced to game or rather that im addicted. It ain't fun i feel like shit everyday and i finally truly realize that. I think a relapse must happen. It teaches you that you dont have to game. I think that if you dont relapse you wont be able to truly quit games. But don't listen to me i haven't completed my relapse . Thank you all for being this community. You give me strengh to do this. I know that i'm not alone.
  16. Day 9 Hey guys ! So today i had my first craving since i've started the detox, or rather its happening as im writting this. I thought about it a bit more and i realized i don't wanna comeback and now the craving is going away. I've been mostly happy these past few days and i know gaming isn't gonna bring happiness. I got the craving probably because my friends found a tournament in League of Legends, and they really wanted me to come back because i was one of their best players. I said they should give me time to think about it. I am thinking of making gaming into like a mentally engaging activity and implement it into my daily plan. Also limit my time gaming everyday to 2-3hrs. I'm really lost right now. I don't understand what actually interests me and what doesn't. I wanna tell my friends i don't want to play, but i wanna go with them to the tournament because it's to have fun. I don't wanna play just because i wanna game but because of them, to have fun with them a bit. I don't wanna say no because i feel like i'm slowly moving away from them everyday, because we used to play games a lot 2-3 weeks ago. And yeah i know you are probably gonna lose some friends while in the detox, but this a lot of my friends, its like 10 of us that all have fun together. One of them is also my best friend. I guess this has to happen...
  17. Day 7 Its been a week since i've quit games. It's mostly been as i wanted to for this week. Today tho i feel like i'm returning to my old habits. I didn't complete my morning and afternoon goals, and i feel really sad about it. After i write this im gonna study biology for school and then i will beatbox a bit. Then i will get ready for bed by watching a bit of anime. I'm gonna try and wake up tomorrow early at 7-7:30 am and workout. Then i'm gonna study physics. After that im going to school. Yesterday and the day before were really good days. On friday in the morning i got up early to workout and do the rest of my morning routine, and after school i decided to meet up with to friends from primary school. We went to a place called Kalemegdan( you can find it here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belgrade_Fortress). It's quite a beautiful place and you most go there if you come to Serbia. We hanged out together for like half the day and i will post pictures here with one of my friends when we were on Kalemegdan. When i got home i ate and pretty much just watched anime till i went to sleep. I didn't beatbox which i was kind of sad about, but i really wanted to watch this anime. I need to limit my time watching anime tho, because im scared it could become a complete replacement for gaming. Saturday was also quite fine i did my morning routine, after that i went to math class to a private teacher. When i got home i studied. In the evening i called my friend to go out to eat something and talk. It was just the 2 of us and usually i dont talk that much but here i talked a lot more, i wasn't asked to say something rather i was starting the conversation. Yes, there were times of silence but im happy for how the conversation left, and i hope i can keep improving my social skills. If you guys have any tips for talking please say, i appreciate it. I'm gonna share a photo of me and the son of my brother from today.
  18. I really don't know what i could do. Maybe i should just scroll the internet? Oh, and Cam since i'm in high school. Is it okay to leave studying for sundays and rest and go out with friends on fridays and saturdays. Or should i spread out my time to study a bit everyday?
  19. Day 5 So today i made a daily routine that i will try and do everytime. Yesterday i started learning how to beatbox! It looks really amazing to do but also very hard. After i get home from school i try and rest for a max of 30 mins and then either beatbox or study. But my habits of just watching youtube and playing games kick in and im trying hard to overcome that. Yesterday in school we had class about informatics and computing, since its the end of the school year soon we've pretty much done everything we have for the year, so our teacher let us play games. Everyone wanted to play cs 1.6. I was so scared at that point, i didn't wanna say no because everyone was playing and i would be bored. Also i would smash anyone while we play so someone always wanted me on the team. So i played even tho my gut was saying dont do it. We played for about 15-20 mins, and i felt devastated after that. But after some time passed by it didn't give me any urge to play games again, yes it was a fun game with my friends but it was fine. Playing a game of cs once a week for 20 mins doesn't seem so hurting. We had a free class later on in the day and we all went out and played football! Even tho i didn't want to play i forced my self to play ( damn you dopamine). After about 5 mins i started to enjoy my self. I was moving around trying to get the ball i was sweating in the sunny day and it felt amazing. But i need to start talking more when im in company, since i feel like ppl think of me as boring, so i want to talk to them about a lot of stuff, im always looking for stuff to say even tho it usually is quiet.
  20. Today is my third day without gaming in my 90 day detox goal. I've been kind of all around with my emotions. Every time i enter my room a craving for playing games start, but im not gonna let it take over. My stomach feels unusual most of the time, probably because im doing the things i dont do. I'm trying to talk with my brother and sister more than i did before because they would usually walk into my room wanting to talk with me but i would just ignore and keep gaming . I asked them to watch a movie together on Sunday, but we didn't because it was kind of late. Btw my sister is the one that bought me the respawn book, because i dont have a way of paying since im 15 years old. She really loves me and i feel like shes the only one who understands the situation. I'm gonna try and call friends to go out on the weekend( school days), but i'm scared of my social skills. That about wraps it up!
  21. Hello everyone ! Im Nenad and i'm from Serbia. I'm exited to start a new chapter in my life. I've been gaming since i was 5 years old. Now im 15 and i feel like it has just took over my life completely and i only play because im scared of experiencing something new. Hopefully this will all end up good!