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Stawrogin

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Everything posted by Stawrogin

  1. Hey, good that you're trying this whole challenge again. I'm sure that you'll make it till the end this time. Do you use a calendar to plan your activities?
  2. Day 3 Well, I didn't sleep very good again. Early morning insomnia, or waking up earlier than I want, is really annoying, because I'm tired all day long. Anyways, I still decided that it's time to stop postponing my fitness (I make a lot of excuses, that the weather is not good enough) and so I went for a run today. It was really cold and I couldn't run for long before I got exhausted, but at least I went for a run. I was lying in bed for the rest of the day, because I was too tired for anything. After a nap I still did some Russian language learning, but not remembering vocabulary is really frustrating. I don't really feel like I make progress. Gaming related I did watch the finals of the LPL today and it was a good series. I don't really feel too bad about it, since such finals only happen like every few months. I didn't game, but I did watch an awful amount of Youtube today, which is the same as gaming in a way. I'm just watching one video after another mindlessly, without any intention. I need to go over the section of the Respawn program again that tells you how to fill your time... seems like I don't have enough activities for when I'm tired.
  3. Yes, I agree that it's important to make goals somehow tangible and achievable. That's one of my problems. I never set goals for myself other than really big ones like "learning Russian" I'm somewhat of a drifter and a procrastinator and it's difficult and exhausting for me to think about the future. I'm just doing whatever is directly infront of me, that might be my job, the next video or the next game. I don't know how to get a mindset that is more future oriented. I once read a book about different "time perspectives" that people use in their life by Zimbardo (Stanford prison experiment), but I stayed firmly present oriented. Also there is a philosophical question here that bothers me: Are there even meaningful goals? Isn't life inherently meaningless? Who cares if I become a millionaire or prisoner, at the end we all die (sorry very emo lol)
  4. Day 2 I woke up much earlier than I had to. I think I have something called "early morning insomnia" I don't have troubles falling asleep most of the time, but I cannot sleep past 5 am for the life of me. And I'm not like those fitness dudes that want to get up super early to work out and be like CEO's or whatever, I want to sleep, sleep, sleep... Concerning gaming I didn't have a lot of cravings today.. For the first half of the day I was too tired and the second half I had to work my callcenter job (yay homeoffice + almost no customers on Saturday) During my workshift I watched a lot of Youtube, I guess I could have used the time better. I did practice Russian on my language app, but I also watched like 20 "Watch people die inside" videos. One gaming craving I had is that I want to watch the finals of the LPL (Chinese League of Legends) and maybe I will do that.. I mean I know it sounds like an excuse, but its the finals and I won't watch stuff afterwards. Other than that... ofc the game floats back and forth in my mind and I'd love to feel the excitement of it, but right now it feels very manageable. Now I will still read a book (I put my phone far away from me) and hopefully drift off into the land of dreams...
  5. Hey thanks for responding to my journal. I am actually using the Babbel app and I'm quite content with it. But learning vocabulary is really difficult for me, I feel like I repeat the same words only to forget them again later. Cbinese also sounds interesting, but I think that's too hard for me. I don't have any spiritual practice, I'm somewhat of an atheist and sceptic and I don't believe in a higher being or something else. Well, for now the 90 days are my goals and I don't really have plans beyond that. Maybe I feel like I don't want to game anymore anyways. I think I just want to give myself a break from gaming until I can build other habits in my life that would replace gaming. But I don't want to go completely abstinent from gaming for the rest of my life, that's not something I can promise. I can do 90 days though. But thanks for interacting with my journal entry, I really appreciate it.
  6. Hey good job on managing without games. I can relate on the struggle with Youtube. It is so easy to get lost in mindlessly watching on video after another. Congrats on doing the first third of the 90 days detox.
  7. Hey thanks for responding to my journal, Yes, I purchased it already. I already got the first 2 modules and then it told me to go the forums, so I did. What a simpleton I am haha. Well.. I used to be university, but now I work in a callcenter for a bank. It ain't a bad job, but I guess I could do better than that. My biggest interest is easily gaming, but ofc I am trying to move away from that. I recently picked up learning Russian as a third language (I am a native German speaker) I did that because I have a friend in Russia (a cute girl) that I would like to visit this summer, if Covid allows it (borders are closed). Other than that I am interested in politics, I like reading the news... I used to draw a little bit and maybe I am going to pick that up again, as I am going to need something to fill my time with. I don't really have greater goals than that though.. I am somewhat of a drifter and I usually don't plan ahead a lot..
  8. Hi, so this will be my first entry in my 90 days Journey. I will really try to write here every day and commit to it. So I'm not really sure what to write... My main problem is with League of Legends. I already uninstalled it (Steam as well, even though I never really felt addicted to Steam as much) I'm feeling excited and hopeful that will really be a turning point in my life. I'm tired of playing 8-10 hours a day of League, simply because I don't know what else to do with my life. I hope that I will finally be able to find a girlfriend, if I stop wasting so much time on gaming. And my appartment still looks almost the same as when I moved in. I didn't even bother to buy covering for my lightbulbs. I feel like one major thing with gaming so much is negligence. Neglecting myself, neglecting others... One of the things I feel a bit sad about is that I recently managed to have some friends to play LoL with and that I talk with over Discord... which is a lot better than raging in SoloQ. If I am going to start playing again, I would like to do it like that, a few games while having fun with others, limited in time. But I agree when Cam said in once of his videos that I can still do that after completing the 90 days. Anyways, glad to be on this Forum
  9. Hello, I am a guy in my late 20's and I would like to complete the 90 days detox program to better manage my gaming habit. Why do I want to quit: I noticed for a long time now that gaming (League of Legends mostly) isn't as fun to me as it used to be. I keep playing although it makes an angrier and less happy person. I feel as if I could have accomplished a lot more in my life by now, but as things stand I am looking at a lot of wasted time that I didn't invest in skills or relationships. I'm not even that good at LoL either, I'm just an unhappy hardstuck gold. I never really had a girlfriend and my social skills are somewhat underdeveloped. But I hope that with the help of the Respawn program and this forum I will be able to make some change. I started my 90 days detox today, so here we go.