FDRx7

Day #1 Technically this is not Day 1, as I actually blocked YouTube completely about 14 days ago. But it is my first journal entry and the start of my determination to be active about filling the void. So I will mark today as the beginning. I have been a member of Game Quitters for a while, but have been silent for quite some time. I was originally here because I thought I was becoming addicted to video games. However, that turned out not to be the case. The real culprit is YouTube and any other form of passive entertainment like it. Games, while a form of entertainment, require active attention. This can becoming tiring and I will stop. The true danger is something like YouTube where I can sit on the couch and watch hours and hours of content. No action is required of me. Don’t get me wrong. I actually work out and lift weights, so it isn’t that I’m afraid of movement. But at the end of a workday, after exercise and dinner, the easiest thing for me to do is plop onto the couch and spend the rest of the evening, often into the morning, watching content. I would regularly fall asleep in the basement, leaving my wife alone in bed. I never really watched anything educational. It was all purely entertainment to distract me from tomorrow. Inside, I think I felt that if I never had to sleep, tomorrow wouldn’t come. These periods were longest when I was stressed. I’ve been watching YouTube at night for many years, probably close to 8. I didn’t spend every night like that, but it started becoming a real problem during a stressful job about 5 years ago. I was a functional addict. I could stay up late and still go to work. But it’s not my best self. I lost the patience for all kinds of hobbies, though somehow made room for a few big ones like working on my car. I tried “quitting” YouTube many times, but I always had a time limit of 30 minutes I could watch a day, and then when the block was up, I’d go right back. Or, during a long block, I’d substitute it with Netflix, etc. This time is different. I have instilled the hardest blocks possible. There is an indefinite block on each of my devices. Only my wife has the passwords to unlock them. My PC uses Cold Turkey, which has been amazing - and she has that passcode too. I cannot watch YouTube, even if I could think of no other thing. What I’m noticing so far: I’m not doing too bad so far. The 14 days have been good and I’ve been intentional about how I spend the time. I’ve been reading again and reigniting order hobbies. However, I ran into the danger of Netflix, which a couple of the past nights I watched for longer than I’d like to have (but not as much as YouTube). I am going to need to add it to the Cold Turkey. Today I weight lifted, walked the dog, and listened to our growing record collection. It was a good day. I don’t know the format yet for this journal. I just know I’m here. Im going to try to do it every day.

Hey, I’m here for the same reason as you. YouTube (and when I have no access to it, sometimes streaming or random surfing) is my problem. I turned to it most often to avoid thinking about and facing the next day. It’l was the easiest way to ignore my problems, putting them off for the next day. I always felt guilty though about all the other hobbies I could have been doing besides watching all kinds of nonsense. I’ve been without YouTube for almost two weeks now and I can say I’m starting to learn again to do things I liked before. I’m still looking for the brain fog to continue lifting (part of this is fixing sleep). Can I suggest something that has helped me? If you have an iPhone, I set up screen time and blocked anything I didn’t want to see. Then I had my wife set the password. I also did this on my PC with the Cold Turkey software. She has that password too. And finally, on the smart tv, YouTube is blocked. Guess who has that password? She does . 🙂 This is a very brute method but has stopped me from turning to it even when I am at my most vulnerable because I physical cannot. If you have a significant other, family member, or friend you trust, you might consider giving this a try. I think it’s helping me. You still have to get to the root of why you do this, but the block will give you space to think about it and start filling the time with new things. Keep moving forward! I know it’s tough but always remember, you just have to get through one day at a time.

Hey, I believe in you! I’m back here now as well after succumbing to YouTube and mindless surfing/watching. It might sound benign but I was losing hours and hours for short term entertainment. last time I didn’t do the journal. I’m thinking of starting that this time. I’ll follow you and check in on you! I know you can do it.

This is something I've been realizing is a struggle for me. I am working on it with my therapist, but I am trying to find the root of why I do this. All day, I will have podcasts running in the background. I have some that I really like and will listen to more attentively. However, there are others that I just let run while I'm doing other things, and I'm not even really listening that closely. I will even do it during work when I'm not in a meeting until it gets to the point where I truly can't concentrate. Then I will shut it off for a time. This is not a consistent pattern, as other times I'll listen to background music (like Brain.FM which helps). Only in the past week have I really tried working in complete silences for small periods of time (usually 30min - 1hr). Even right now, I'm "listening" to a podcast in the background. I even go to bed with a podcast playing by my bedside or in my ears (if my wife is home so I don't disturb her). I've been cutting out a lot of things in my life and going to therapy to improve my mindset, habits, etc. One of the things I'm dealing with is brain fog. It's not the only factor, but I feel this must be contributing to it. A lack of silence cannot be good for my brain. I think I'm afraid of silence or being alone? I do this especially when my wife is working, and I am home. Recently, with the help of my therapist, I have been creating longer periods of silence where I will listen to nothing and just concentrate on what I'm doing. At night especially though, it tends to be difficult to not listen to something. Has anyone experienced this? I'm having a hard time finding resources online because everything always speaks to how wonderful podcasts are, but almost never addresses the possibility of listening too much. It's a similar problem I ran into years ago with YouTube addiction (now there seems to be more resources on this one, but still isn't quite widely recognized).

I've often wondered this myself. In alcoholic addiction, you often hear the term "functional addict." It's someone who is addicted and yet is still able to keep their job, have a family, etc. This doesn't mean it is healthy, nor that their functionality is effective, just that they are able to keep themselves afloat. I think there are many functioning addicts in the gaming world. I have a few friends in their thirties who have children and jobs and play regularly. With the amount I hear about them playing and see them playing, I am always baffled at how they can still get good grades (we are in graduate school, but finishing soon) and have a functioning family. I don't get to see home life, so maybe it's worse than I think or maybe it's totally fine. It just boggles my mind because, trying to do the math on the gaming time vs other responsibilities, I don't see how it works. That's why I suspect some people may indeed be functioning addicts. They talk about gaming all the time, they move quickly from one game to the next (that's partially why I stopped playing casually with them; I would buy a game at their behest, thinking it would be a good social time, and we would literally play it twice before they moved on to something else -- it was a waste of money for me). They have the latest gear and are constantly upgrading. But if you ask them what it is, they say, "It's just a hobby." And maybe it is, I don't know. But I suspect there are many more functional game addicts than statistics would have us believe (which is why addiction is probably underreported).

You should be very careful with YouTube. It can become an addiction in itself because the algorithm is very good at feeding you what you want to watch. Thus, continuing to watch becomes almost a compulsion. Trust me, I know because I was there (just not with videos about video games). I would encourage you to do a YouTube detox as well and find a new hobby to replace watching videos. You can use the handy hobby tool or get some ideas from others on here based on your interests. The most important thing is to have the courage to give yourself permission to be someone else. Try a hobby you think you wouldn't normally like. You may be very surprised that it becomes something you love (happened to me with statistical programming).

Hey congratulations! I was drawn to this post because I realized we started on the exact same day! Keep it up. 60 days will be here in no time!

Thank you! Yes, I currently have YouTube blocked on my phone and can only access it through my browser for 1 hour a day (using Cold Turkey which I LOVE). This makes it so that I need to be conscious of what I spend that hour on. If I use it for just messing around on YouTube, then I can't do anything education with it. It really helps to have this budgeted time (many days I don't even use the budgeted time; I try to treat it as something like you said that will enhance the things I'm doing in my life).

Echoing what a lot of others have said, if it isn't a trigger that causes you to want to play/relapse, I don't see it being a problem. You should reconsider only if it makes you want to play again.

Thank you! So far this has been great and I feel like I'm really making progress. YouTube had been a weak point for me as well and I am applying the same game-quitting principles to that and web surfing.

Hi everyone! I'm FDRx7 from the United States. I used to game a lot when I was younger but when I went to college, I ultimately stopped. I don't know if it was just being busy or what, but I didn't touch a console (save for a quick game at a friend's place or something) or PC game for probably 7 years. Then, last year I started a two-year graduate program. I have a few close friends in the program and one of them convinced me to download the Halo Master Chief collection for PC (I had never PC gamed before). I enjoyed it and played through the campaign, reminiscing about my middle and high school years playing with friends. Ultimately, I didn't stay with it because I wasn't very good and didn't want to invest the time. I did however download some more games on my PC and played them, but not quite to the point of addiction. Some of these games were purchased because my friend would say, "Download it and we can play together!" It frustrates me now thinking back because he would have me do that, we would play together literally a few times and then he would move on to a different game. So, I was left with a game I likely wouldn't play on my own and out ~$20 each time. The problem really set in just recently. I wasn't doing an awful lot of gaming, just here and there. Then, another friend of mine told me I should join him and some other friends on a Minecraft server. I figured this would be a good game for me to play in between study breaks as a reward. I used to play the game a while back when in high school. It was fun to get back into it at first and I enjoyed staying connected to my friends during lockdown. However, I suddenly found that all I wanted to do was play Minecraft. I was still getting my schoolwork done, but I was starting to neglect all of the goals and personal responsibilities that I had. I was up until this point an active weight lifter, had academic and language goals I was working on in my own time, as well as engaging in leisure activities like reading. Now, all I wanted to do was play Minecraft, whether my friends were online or not. All other activities were becoming dull and boring compared to Minecraft, despite the fact that the game involves so much grinding. I have had and still have this problem with watching YouTube as well. It can be easy to get lost when wanting to escape, but then waste a ton of time online. I never thought that I could become addicted to Minecraft or that it would be considered anything remotely close to addictive. I wouldn't say that I am a true addict, but I am seeing warning signs that are alarming to me. I want to make sure that I continue to pursue the things that are most important to me and stop the behaviors that are destructive. I signed up for Respawn not only for the gaming, but to also apply the tricks to YouTube as well. I am happy to be here and looking forward to the journey of getting my life back where I want it to be!