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Everything posted by WhoCares

  1. Alright, I'm done with my bitching. I'm gonna play Overwatch whenever I like. No more restrictions. I want to be happy.
  2. After 2.5 weeks break I played Overwatch again.. for 7 hours straight. Now I know for sure, it's too late for me. No matter what I do, no matter what people are around me, I am thinking only about that shitty game. Not sure why I am even trying at this point. If Overwatch is the only thing I enjoy, what's the point in attempting to limit myself. Why wouldn't I just stop this shit and go back to playing nonstop. Maybe it's because the idea of being a fucking loser video game nerd makes me sick. I fucking despise myself. I don't know what to do. It's just so fucked up. I play Overwatch because m
  3. 2 weeks no games, I was too busy to even think about playing. Now I've finished all my essential tasks and I've been thinking about playing since then. I guess I'll relapse today. Honestly don't care
  4. One week Overwatch free. I feel guilty for not replying on your posts, I’ll try to fix it during the week.
  5. Therapist told me that he can’t do anything and I need to see a doctor. Turns out I’m a psycho. Learning something new everyday lmao.
  6. I’m reading SuicideWatch reddit and I can relate to almost everything people write there. My life is shit and I don’t think I need this anymore. I’m so empty I don’t want to even try to change something. I’ve been forced to go to therapist, so I’m going tomorrow. To be honest I don’t really care
  7. Well, I read your advise yesterday that I should take it slow and immediately reinstall Overwatch. After gaming straight for 6 hours, in 5 AM I realized that I don't wanna live anymore. I don't want to do anything. Nothing brings me joy. I want to end this. I want to be freed from this life. I want to fall asleep and never wake up. The only thing that is stopping me from commiting suicide is that my family would be sad. If not them, I would end this constant suffering right now.
  8. I am playing more than ever before. All my progress is entirely gone. And to be honest, I'm not even trying anymore. I just say that I'll try, but in reality, I relapse and rush to game even after minor thought of playing. I have no willpower anymore. When I wasn't trying to quit I was happyly gaming half a day. Now I play non stop all day while being depressed as fuck.
  9. Thanks for advise, but it won't work for me. I am competitive gamer on high rank. Even one minor mistake would make my whole team lose and I would be blamed and insulted by angry teammates. I can't even lose focus for a split second.
  10. Since I stopped posting my life is getting worse every day. This week is probably the lowest point I’ve been in my life. I started playing again and it ruined everything. Now it’s 5 AM, I am tilted after the game, so I uninstalled. I can’t do this anymore. It feels so wrong. My physical condition is horrible and my mental condition is questionable. It feels like I miss something. With every new relapse I lose a bit of hope. All my enthusiasm is gone. I feel empty. Not sure how long I can last.
  11. I had cravings for a couple of hours and I went to my PC to install Overwatch. And I can't. I'm just sitting in front of my PC and I feel guilt. I'm not able to play in peace anymore. My real life feels horrible and now my gaming feels horrible too. I'm stuck, everything's shit. A lot of Overwatch pro players experienced burnout past 2 years. They moved to other competitive games, but I can't because I don't like other games. And yet I'm sick of Overwatch. Update: I decided to leave GQ, please don't reply, I won't see it. Bye.
  12. My laziness is killing me. I'm such a lazy fuck. Dunno what to do honestly. Perhaps I should plan my day, but when I do so I have not intentions to start because I would have a lot to do and it kinda discourages me to start. I feel like I should start with doing productive stuff for 2 or 3 hours a day and then chill. I'll try it tomorrow. When my goals are too hard and long I'm left with nothing done. I feel like I should stop wanking on a daily basis, but it feels so good that I'm not sure.
  13. @dasvira Thank you, by the way I'm not frustrated at all. I accepted that quitting is a hard and long process and you learn something new every time you relapse. My connection with gaming is much weaker than before. I like how it goes overall.
  14. I just relapsed. I won't beat myself up this time, I'm actually pretty satisfied. I had strong cravings to play for a few days, finally installed and... the game is shit, I don't enjoy it anymore. After 4 hours of playtime I uninstalled. Not interested to play anymore. It's like my memories of playing is way better than the actual game. I used to play Overwatch for days long, now I'm tired and bored after a couple of hours. I see progress. This is the way I wanna quit: being actually not interested in playing rather than not play but crave all the time. You guys wrote a lot of messages,
  15. I just watched Overwatch stream uploaded to YouTube (got in my recommendations) and I’m filled with hate. I can’t stand that community of stupid cunts. They look so pathetic. Looking at Overwatch streamers motivates me to not play this game ever again.
  16. I’m good, thanks for asking. Sorry for not replying for so long, I moved to another journal, but now I’m back.
  17. Yesterday I found a very interesting video. I think that this is actually true. I’ve been focusing too much on just not playing, when I should do more important changes. It doesn’t mean that games aren’t a problem and I can go play, because I’m still addicted to them and unable to control. But if I change my life, go to university, find a job I like, make good friends and find a loving girlfriend, I doubt that I would still crave to play for 12 hours a day. My real problem is that my life is pathetic and I’m human garbage. If I wouldn’t change it nothing’s gonna be better no matter how long I
  18. Well as far as I know it is common to think or dream about games when you quit. I had a couple of nights dreaming about gaming and freaking out that I relapsed while it was just a dream. Try to occupy your mind with something else. Do whatever you have a passion for. If you don't have any ideas you can take a look at hobby suggestions on GameQuitters.
  19. Thank you @JSmith @DaBest @Amphibian220 @TheNewMe2.0 @BooksandTrees @dasvira I really appreciate your support. I read all of your replies last week but wasn’t ready to answer then. I didn’t play since my last post, so now I’m 1 week game free. You guys changed something inside me, now I’ll continue overcoming my addiction no matter what. Not only for me, but for you guys, you put efforts in cheering me up and I don’t want to disappoint you. @BooksandTrees you were right, it’s a process. I am abandoning this journal and returning to my first one.
  20. Relapsed again, I'm not getting any better after all. I'm hopeless. I gave up. Games ruined my life so much that I'm not able to fix it. Point of no return is far behind me. I don't even live, I exist. All my plans, dreams and activities are always postponed to tomorrow, but tomorrow's never coming. There is no tomorrow for me. I'm stuck in procrastination circle.
  21. Today I’ve made my first step into better life. I am slowly getting better.