deadspider

It depends on the person. It's easy to access and doesn't take a lot of processing power to run. In fact most low-end PC's and even office laptops would have no problem running it. There's also that feeling of randomness, or and having a chance to be an imposter so you can deceive and kill everyone. When I played, being imposter was much more fun than being a crew mate. But usually it gets boring after a while cause that's all you do. Especially if you keep becoming a crewmate where you do boring tasks while trying not to die for the most part.

The thing is, everyone (including the pure "never want to game again" type of people here) would agree that playing video games is way more enjoyable than working. So if work sucks ass, then of course any young man is going to gravitate towards something like video games, I know I would. Because games provide a sense of comfort, stability, and in many cases, camaraderie that they don't get in the real world. And don't even get me started on covid. Does that mean every young man should just say fuck it and become a full on NEET? No. I'm just saying that there's obviously a valid reason why these young men are choosing video games over work, a valid reason that I don't think a society (specifically, American society) like ours cares to address. Actions have consequences. When you tell a group of young men they aren't needed, that society would be better off without them. Don't be so shocked and surprised when those same young men decide they don't want to waste their lives working for you, and instead are doing just enough to live their own lives doing what they like. Whether that be video games, playing music, drawing, hiking, whatever.

Like most people, what makes video games appealing to me is the social acceptance. It's so much easier for me to get in some gaming lobby and talk to my fellow teammates than to socialize in the real world. They don't know, nor care about what I look like or if my body language is "correct" like a NT's. In the gaming world, I could make jokes that gamers would make them laugh their asses off, but regular people would find either too disgusting or too edgy. Of course it's not all black and white. I've run into plenty of assholes online, and I've met some truly nice people in the real world. But most of the time (especially at work and just in the general public) I feel like people just look at me like I'm some weirdo, even though I've never done anything truly wrong (other than not being "normal" enough.). A feeling I don't get when I'm at home playing video games. Basically throughout all of my life I struggled to socialize and make friends. I was often bullied, ostracized, and seen as a weirdo. Because of this, I often spent hours alone in my room playing video games and surfing the web. I certainly regret not going out more in my teen years, but why would I do that when the online world was where I was respected and liked? Social acceptance like I mentioned earlier, along with fairness. Another thing I like about video games is that the AI/Game itself doesn't care about what I look like or how I act. Video games don't ostracize me, or yell at me for making a mistake. The worst that could happen is I get a game over screen and have to go back to the last checkpoint. Plus, Video games have a clear set of rules I can go by. Unlike the real world, I know what to do and how to do it. It depends. If I was still bullied and ostracized growing up, I think things would have stayed mostly the same. The only saving grace would be that I would have had an easier time socializing, so I would have had more "motivation" to quit games (ie: real life friends, places I can go to socialize, etc.). Not saying I don't have these things irl, I just feel like if I were a NT I would've felt like I belonged in the real world, rather than the gaming one. Even though I'm still technically a gamer (yeah, sorry Cam), I have attempted to quit in the past, to no success. When I first tried to quit, I thought it was as simple as just uninstalling steam, then going out and socializing more (this was before my diagnosis). But because I wasn't normal, I was still bullied and ostracized. I didn't really expect that I would still be ostracized all the way up to adulthood. I thought that it was just the kids and teens who were jerks, but then when people grew up they would be more accepting and tolerant. But I guess I was mistaken. In fact, even today that stands as the biggest obstacle between me, and the gaming-free life I craved once upon a time. Every time I think about trying again, dropping the games and living life I want to live in the real world I'm reminded of why I got into gaming in the first place, every time I step outside of my house. I don't think I've seen much success (so far), but I would say my biggest triggers would be the lack of social connection in the real world, along with browsing game related stuff online. Since a lot of heavy internet users are also gamers, it often feels like a lose-lose situation when I try (or tried) to quit. I couldn't tell you for the life of me who has autism and who doesn't, unless they specifically told me. But if I had to guess I would say I see a little bit of social withdrawal, along with a tendency to talk about nothing but video games (restricted interests). I consider this partially true. While I don't believe Autism itself is an addiction disorder, I DO believe that autistic people are a bit more predisposed to addiction (specifically, stuff like porn, gaming, drugs, internet, etc.). Both due to genetic factors (ie: symptoms of autism itself) but more importantly, environmental factors. With social isolation being the biggest of them all. The opposite of addiction is connection. Ask yourself this: If, generally speaking, people IRL were nice and friendly, but people in the gaming world were basement dwelling assholes who hated you with a burning passion, what would you do? Would you hang out with the "real" people, or the basement dwellers? I'm guessing you would pick the real people in the real world. Who gives a fuck what a bunch of basement dwellers think? Now what if the opposite was true. Let's say every time you stepped out of your house, people just flat out hated you. No matter what you did, every little mistake you made was met with harsh criticism. Everyone who even as much as looked at you wanted you dead. You don't know what you did wrong, nor will you ever know. Because nobody even wants to take five seconds to tell you. You just don't fit in, period. But every time you went on some video game you met some really cool people. In the gaming world, you could find people that like you, that can relate to you (and you can relate to them), for once, you feel like you belong. Would you even want to go outside at that point?

Growing up, games were always my source of comfort. During my school years I found it hard to get along with other kids, because of that I was constantly bullied and ostracized. It's not hard to see why I turned to the internet, primarily gaming as a result. The internet was, and still is my one place of comfort. The one place where at the click of a button, I could socialize and meet like minded people. I could make jokes they would laugh at, and most importantly I could feel like I actually belong. It doesn't help that I'm an aspie and don't mesh well with most "normal" people. I've been putting this off for weeks now, and I have work in an hour. So I'm just gonna say it: I feel like I'm living a double life. In real life I work at a grocery store, play guitar in a rock band, write, I want to learn how to sing and maybe draw if I want to get into comics (seems unlikely since I can't draw worth shit, I bought courses but I haven't used them. That's like $400 down the drain.). But in the "virtual" world I like to surf the web and play video games all day. I noticed as I kept playing video games, my real life seems to be deteriorating. - I think I'm gaining weight from just sitting around all day. Haven't measured my weight to prove it. But there are signs. - I'm losing interest in playing guitar, and I have NO interest in drawing, and I procrastinate writing. But I just want to play more and more. I know I have a choice here: Either take the "blue pill" and be stuck working dead end job after dead end job, playing video games and wondering what could've been. Or take the red pill and drop the games (except for Rocksmith, which I'll explain later), commit to learning guitar, singing, writing, and drawing. I feel like the "red pill" life has so much more potential than the blue pill. I could tour the world and leave a lasting legacy with art and creativity. But with the much easier blue pill life (and maybe more realistic if I'm being honest) I would just be a consumer. If I died tommorow, I wouldn't leave much of a legacy. Regardless of what I do, I don't plan to quit games completely. The one game I plan to keep (if I were to "quit") would be Rocksmith. If you don't know what it is, think of Guitar Hero but instead you're using a REAL guitar/bass. So you can actually learn how to play a song. The problem is I can only play it on PC via steam, on the same account I have tons of games on. So it's hard not to play the other games since they're just a few clicks away. Well, I have to go to work now. I hope my rant was coherent enough for you to know just what the hell is going on with my double life. Peace out.