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Icandothis

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Posts posted by Icandothis

    Icandothis journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    On 2/22/2020 at 5:52 PM, BooksandTrees said:

    Have you already found a job and they treat you like this? Is this from prior experiences? I remember you saying you haven't worked in years to care for your children.

    I don't mean to sound rude or "a typical guy who doesn't understand", but women in my office are treated better than men and it's a traditionally male dominated field. We have lots of women in leadership positions and I think are getting to the point where they're mostly hiring women. We provide women more benefits for childbirth and sick time/short term leave for it. 

    My point is that if you've been out of the work force for as long as I'm guessing I think you might be pleasantly surprised with how much things are changing at a good amount of companies. Even the companies my friends work at, in different disciplines and fields, have improved the quality of life in general and specifically for women in the office. If this is something you're nervous about then I am hopeful companies around your area are adopting the same practices that companies on the east coast are pushing.

    Thank you for your post. Yes, I have been told that due to the “me too” and “ times up” movement, things are changing for women. 
     

    I live in the Pacific Northwest and many of the companies out here are supposedly very progressive. 
     

    The last time I worked was 3 years ago for a healthcare company in Texas. It was extremely toxic. Ironically, everyone in my office was a woman and they were not supportive at all. 
     

    Without going into too much detail, I am disabled 2 days of every month due to my moon cycle. FMLA will provide protection, but only if the company is of a certain size. And I have to be an actually employee for a certain number of months. 
     

    This was all triggered because I was offered a contract position for a very good wage. I told the recruiter about my disability... and the offer was rescinded. My friend told me I should have just called out sick those days...but the contract said I could be terminated if I did not work the agreed upon hours. 
     

    I am frustrated due to lack of awareness, understanding and inclusivity. 
     

    Thank you for listening. 

    • Like 3

    Icandothis journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Something I am struggling with. How to live as a woman in a corporate world. 
     

    A world where you are not allowed to be sick, you push harder, put on your game face. 
     

    My body and intuition are screaming at me to honor my monthly cycle. I am the moon.  And if I don’t, I will get physically sick.

     

    This same pattern has occurred over and over again in my life. 
     

    I honor and deeply respect the path I travel. 

    E62BEE27-49AF-45FD-B690-93BE172B5DCE.jpeg

    • Like 1

    Laurie's game changer journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    3 minutes ago, Laurie said:

    @BooksandTrees Thanks again for your support! 😄

    Cardiac coherence is a way of breathing that makes your heart rate decrease and that way calms down your brain and your nervous system. It's especially useful for anxious persons like me. Usually you breath in for 5 seconds and breath out for the same amount of time, all that during 5 minutes total.

    Here's a video if you're interested in trying: 

     

    Love this.  Welcome and so glad you are here!

    • Like 1

    Icandothis journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    4 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

    Awesome! How many sets? I do push ups too and do three sets. Can you do like full form push ups? Most people can't do them even less can do a pull up.

    Lol. I do girl push ups. Is that even correct to say? I have never had the upper body strength to do multiple push up. 
     

    I do chaturanga during my Series B, but these are always interspersed with up/down dogs, lunges, etc... never back to back. 
     

    The push ups is part of the app... but they aren’t my favorite. 
     

    Have a beautiful day 

    • Like 1

    Icandothis journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    On my childhood trauma. 
     

    “You were so quiet, stayed out of the way, didn’t need anything. You were so good.” 
     

    I learned that in order to survive it’s important “not to be a child”.


    Lots of tears today. 

    • Like 2

    The Person I want to be

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    On 2/9/2020 at 10:14 AM, Sashiku said:

    I had a friend in real life, two actually, but even they ditched me for games. I am going back to therapy myself, but idk how good mine is. Virtual hugs are always welcomed. ❤️

    Well then sending virtual hugs today. 💙💙💙💙

    • Like 2

    Icandothis journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    On 2/8/2020 at 2:02 AM, Ikar said:

    It cost me basically everything I thought I had before I came here, but now I realize it wasn't that much to begin with anyway. I can definitely see the cracked ego as well.

    I was thinking of getting back with my ex as well. But after quitting games I realized I need to hold myself to higher standards and I started thinking more clearly. I started setting up conditions under which the relationship (or any relationship in the future), as I wanted it, could function.

    She was over me by that point though. I realized that in order to get back together, we needed to have the same experience after the breakup, but each of us learnt something different.

    I agree. I think the principle of "minimum necessary force" should be applied here. If you decide to use sex, the equivalent of a nuclear warhead, as a bonding mechanism after a few weeks (or even days) into the relationship, I think it is almost guaranteed to work in making the relationship work for a while. But only because nobody wants to give up regular sex, which having sex once implies. It is hard to give up a thing that was arguably so great at the beginning, even if it's not as good anymore.

    A few days or weeks are unlikely to be sufficient in truly getting to know the other person. But just as we need to fact-check ourselves through diaries and schedules, we need to fact-check other people we want to be close with. It's difficult, but it works.

    I relate so much to the first paragraph. I had to drop all the labels of wife, home owner, successful, all my identity. To search deeply about who I truly was.

     

    I am so sorry for all the pain you have endured.  But you have grown, become resilient and seen what you are capable of. So proud of you. 

    • Like 2

    Dear Diary...

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Hi!

     

    Skipping back a couple of posts.... what I have seen is that people choose relationships that mirror their caregivers relationship. Attachment theory. 
     

    This cycle only breaks once someone is self aware of their thoughts/emotions/patterns/cycles... which sadly many are not. 
     

    Also in relationships where educated women date the “loser” men.... it’s actually the men that hold the power in the relationship. These types of men usually withhold affection/attention ... and the woman is begging for any type of emotional intimacy. At least from what I’ve seen and just to add another perspective. 
     

    You are doing great! As you said we all have good days and then tough days. We just have to keep going and supporting each other. 
     

    Have a beautiful day my friend. 

    • Like 2

    d.manuk's journal

    in Daily Journals

    Posted

    Hi,

     

    I think you are doing fine. I feel like as women, we get judged for having sex with multiple partners. And perhaps we put that guilt onto ourselves?

     

    Please be safe and cautious of course. And please try to find a bit of a community where you live. Maybe the local gym, studio, park, community center?

     

    Congrats on your move. This is a huge change and will take you a while to get settled in. Be gentle with yourself. 
     

    Have a beautiful day my friend. 

    • Like 1
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