[My Progress Record uwu]

Good to hear that @Elite333. Tbh I sort of got the uwu thing from one of my friends who I chat with a lot hehehe.

I had a headache last night, so I'm writing yesterday's entry in the morning.

DAY 7:

It's a week then, ehehe.

I was sick at the start of the day (vomited out breakfast) but it got better so that's nice.

I decided to try Nenad's suggestion of running rather than walking, but I ended up jogging, thinking that would be a nice in-between. I was too tired to jog anymore before I made it halfway around the block. Probably a bit over a couple hundred meters. I'm a very weak girl ehe! I suppose I'll stick to walking for now.

Did some more study, and got some work done on holiday homework, which I'll probably finish today.

Feeling generally confident and happy.

Today's slice of happiness:

The feeling of just stretching your muscles in the morning. Oh yeah haha.

[My Progress Record uwu]

DAY 6:

Finally! I have studied~

An amount at least haha. Again, it's the holidays, so it isn't too important. However, school starts next week, so tomorrow I'll look at the holiday homework we have and get to work on it. It helps me get back into the feeling of being productive ahaha.

I watched Netflix today. I've chosen the show Aggretsuko. Not sure why, but I've been thinking of it recently, even though I don't know much about it beforehand. Since it's an anime, I'm in slightly familiar ground, as I used to watch anime about a year and a half ago, so that might be why.

It's about these anthropomorphic (think furries, i'm not a furry though haha) animal characters who work in an office, and follows Retsuko, a red panda woman who works there, and her torturous existence working said hellish job (Accountant). In between scenes she sings death metal about all the stupid shit she has to deal with at work. Unsure if my description of the show makes it sound interesting, but it's very entertaining ehe.

When I was watching TV in the hotel room, there was a channel running a marathon of The Amazing World of Gumball, which I watched as a kid, so I decided to watch some episodes for nostalgia (turns out the show still makes me laugh aha!). The interesting thing I feel is that Gumball and Aggretsuko almost feel like counterparts in a way; aside from both following anthropomorphic main characters, Gumball is set in the character's childhood, and hence is rather wacky and the protagonist is carefree and slightly hyper, while Aggretsuko instead tackles adult life, meaning that the main character must take responsibility and vents out all her emotions in private (the death metal). It seems like a simple comparison, but the interesting thing to think about is that, as I will be turning 17 next year, I'm certainly through the cast majority of my childhood. Just the general thought about my future I suppose. I feel this might be what makes Aggretsuko so engaging to me, as life as an adult is something that my mind occasionally ponders.

Maybe I'm just stupid.

No gaming craves today so that's good.

Today's slice of happiness:

Water. Just thankful for water. Sometimes you just want water.

[A Road to a more exciting Life]

Just want to say that you're doing great with the exams! It can be a really stressful time, so it's great that you are past the first one and are feeling confident. Your progress on Cello is great too! It must feel good getting things done.

Good luck on the second exam!

[My Progress Record uwu]

8 hours ago, Sarma said:

Every time you have a craving, remember. Gaming will never bring you the happiness you use to have. If you relapse it might seem like you're fine, but after 1 week or so you'll have the same shitty feeling you had while gaming. So, just dont listen to your head too much. Keep yourself occupied and I also recommend writing daily here, dont skip days.

Well said. As for the daily writing, I was planning to do an entry after getting back from the show but felt too tired, so i did it the next day.

DAY 5:

Uneventful once again, but more active i guess. This morning's walk saw me go further than usual; instead of circling the block twice, I walked down to the beach. This sin't much longer of a walk, but it was nice to have something to look forward to, got me excited. But it was cold and windy when i got there. Still beautiful though, and it made me feel independent walking all the way there by myself.

I got bored today. Not too bored, but I didn't have motivation to do music, writing, or study, and that made my brain float to gaming. Once again, the most effective technique is remembering the reason I quite in the first place, and that it won't really make me happy. I was able to hold myself back from it without much trouble, but I should definitely add another hobby tomorrow. I'll just go onto Netflix and choose a show to start watching, should be fun.

I'll probably end up studying before going to bed tonight, just to give me peace of mind, but I really can't haha. Just feels so unimportant since it's the holidays, there's no urgency.

Today's Slice of Happiness:

The fact that nearly all solid objects have the potential to be used as percussion

[My Progress Record uwu]

Thanks for the feedback, @cammyhammy, I understand where you are coming from. I could spend a while talking about each point in your post, but I guess I'll just quickly say that my use of them isn't an attempt at escape and is just sort of a part of my online vocabulary, and I don't even really watch anime or chat with weebs lol, just ended up picking it up from some non-weeb friends. And I put my hand up in class a lot. Again, you've made a great point and I appreciate it.

DAY 3:

We didn't end up going out during the daytime like I said. It was super damn windy and was 14 degrees Celsius (57 Fahrenheit for all you Yankees), which is super cold, at least for our climate lol. To someone from New York or England, it might seem like an average day, but just remember that us Australians see your "heat waves" as nice warm beach days uwu

So I ended up staying in my Apartment, watching TV and making a bit of progress on ideas for writing (the writing stuff is just a hobby, probably won't share any final products, it's still in planning atm anyway lol).

We ended up going to the show, which was at some pizza place. There were a couple of people we ended up meeting, and we all really loved the music being big fans of Bowie. The pizza was kind of shit, but that was okay haha. Really, the band was amazing, the drummer, guitarist, keyboardist were all incredibly talented (and multi-talented, a couple songs had them switch instruments).

That was pretty much it.

DAY 4:

We went back to our home city. Nothing of note happened. I did do a tiny bit on writing and music, but barely anything. A little every day or two piles up over time, so it's fine. I really should study more often, as we're entering into the second of the two week holiday now.

Everytime I feel a desire to game, I always think, aside from the fact that I won't really get any enjoyment out of it, that if I feel that I might be able to enjoy it and keep it in moderation (which I was already alright at) once the detox has passed and my brain is adjusted properly. It isn't really any sort of urge aha.

Overall, still feeling confident in ability to not game, but am sometimes worried about whether or not I study enough.

Today's slice of happiness:

The fact I haven't had to do Mathematics since the end of last year

[My Progress Record uwu]

39 minutes ago, JustTom said:

Do what you feel is right for you. I'm a huge fan of changing and growing your personality, but change should be motivated by internal consideration. Never change just because someone said they don't like something. ESPECIALLY from strangers on the internet. DOUBLE-SPECIALLY in your own journal. TRIPPLE-SPECIALLY when it's something as petty as not liking you writing "hehe". I mean come on.

Alright, hehe.

[My Progress Record uwu]

Sorry about that Cammy, it's become almost instinctual. I'll try my best to cut down on it!

DAY 2:

Morning was generallt uneventful. I went for a walk. I've sort of made it a daily thing now to go on a walk in the morning, the fresh air and movement is great for both my mental and physical health.

My computer, which had broken down last night, was working again. I'll be able to get back to work on music when I arrive back home, as I am now in the other city, to see that concert tomorrow, and return home the day after that.

A good thing about this is I can't play any games lol. Doing stuff while I'm here in the city is a great distraction from boredom, so I'll definitely talk about what I do tomorrow!

For dinner we had Japanese. I don't know why but my favourite part is always the Edamame, green beans that you just squeeze out of their pods. Tasty and salty.

I ended up spending a lot of time in my hotel room unfortunately. They have TV but I haven't watched TV in so long it felt awkward. I ended up watching Cartoon Network since I literally haven't really uded TV since I was like 13. Interesting to see which cartoons have gone and stayed, sort of a nostalgia thing.

Overall mood is happy and confident however, and tomorrow is looking great!

Today's slice of happiness:

The feeling you get after eating a big dinner and then stand up. Not sure how to describe it but it feels great lol.

[A Road to a more exciting Life]

It's honestly quite good that you're busy with tasks outside of education (cello practice, namely). Anything that is a goal and is set by yourself as a requirement means less time spent idling, so it's easier to fill said relaxation periods with non-gaming activities. I should probably try that ehe.

Sorry if I don't have much advice, I'm very new to this as well.

Great progress! I believe in you!

[My Progress Record uwu]

DAY 1, Thursday, 11th of July

My first time doing one of these, hope the writing turns out well hehe.

Today wasn't too eventful, something layed back since tomorrow I'm headed to the neighbouring city for a concert (David Bowie tribute group). Didn't feel any cravings to game, which is nice.

Recently I've been watching my brother play FIFA, a.k.a a soccer video game. I don't have any desire to play it with him, but I find it interesting that it attracts me while real sport is a complete disinterest of mine. Probably just that the video game version is really fast paced compared to the real thing, which, while making it fun to watch, would be rather addicting... A reason to steer clear of actually having a go heh.

I also started work on a song for my album (which I guess I could describe as being sorta vaporwavey but not exactly). Music production is a very engaging and creative hobby hehe. As of the moment, there's only one other song completed, so there's a long way to go.

I'm really looking forward to the concert tomorrow.

To keep a positive attitude as I go about this, I've decided to leave a little reminder in each entry of all the nice things in the world to help lift my spirits ehe. So...

Today's slice of happiness:

How remarkably cute seals are (especially the fluffy white pups uwu).

[I might have just played something without realising it was a game?]

I clicked on a link to this thing called "skribbl.io" and it's this thing where you just draw and other people guess what it is, yada yada

Then I realised that this probably counts as a video game.

I suppose that means the detox starts tomorrow then? I need to know if there's a way to catch yourself when you end up doing something that's a video game completely unintentionally without realising it's a video game. Dunno it was really surreal.

[Nenad's Journal, a journey to a fulfilling life]

It's great that you're being introspective! Summing up where you are mentally and in life is a valuable technique, so it's very good that you're stopping to have a think about it. I understand that where you are now is very frightening and low down, but the good thing is, the long road ahead of you leads upward. Hope is the key to confidence, and confidence is the key to success.

Good luck!

[An inquiry about the "social" aspect of being drawn to games]

4 minutes ago, Redmark said:

Discord counts as being social I guess, if you're talking to people about gaming stuff?

Despite Discord being a "chat for gamers", there's only one server I've ever been on total that was a "gaming" server. Most of them are just generally social.

3 minutes ago, NannerZ said:

I would also consider myself a loner in my personal life, however I have made significant progress on that aspect in my 60+ days on the detox so far. I just wanted to let you know there are others who've had a similar experience. I also wondered if there were other gamers like me who didn't really game for the social aspect.

Very interesting to hear! I'll probably end up being more social irl during my detox whether I like it or not, haha.

[An inquiry about the "social" aspect of being drawn to games]

I've read some articles describing some of the reasons why we're compelled to play video games, and one aspect that often comes up is the "social" aspect, being that we generally have more interest in multiplayer or co-op video games than single player video games as they fill a human need for communication. Interestingly, I never really liked multiplayer games that much. There were examples of enjoying some, but, overall, single player was more interesting to me always. Perhaps I've been a loner. I tend to communicate not through games but through Discord. I have real life friends but I don't really interact with them outside of school, which I feel maybe I should try and change.

I just find it kind of interesting that I've never really felt the need for games to be social, I dunno.

[Moving on, just don't get enjoyment anymore]

Most of the people here want to quit video games due to an out of control addiction getting in the way of the rest of their lives. I feel I'm a little different. While I was extremely addicted when I was younger, my interest has waned recently, and honestly, I don't find video games fun anymore. I usually finish with feelings of frustration instead. I don't see them as too much of a waste of time when kept in check, but playing them just isn't enjoyable anymore. But I keep coming back. I feel as if this time I'll enjoy myself and all the stupid shit that gets in the way of my enjoyment will be gone.

But it never is, not matter what game I play, I'm either disinterested, or something or another makes me bored or frustrated. I just want to break my reliance on games for entertainment and move on, since it's causing me more harm than good.

While my reasoning may be slightly different to a lot of people, I believe our goals remain the same. I want one thing, and that's to be free of gaming so I can enjoy my life more.

Wish me luck, ehe.