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About GrainSiloEnthusiast

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  1. You're off to a great start! I look forward to your entries.
  2. Needless to say, I did of course unsubscribe from their mailing list! Had a dream about Animal Crossing that filled me with nostalgia, but watching my wife browse through games looking for something to play really reminded me just how Not interested in gaming I really am right now. Minimizing screen time has also been going quite well. Podcasts are very helpful for this. It's hard for me to overconsume podcasts or any audio really because I get overstimulated after a while and want to give my ears a break from wearing ear buds. Plus, with an 8 month old who loves screaming, sometimes I just want to embrace moments of quiet with my full attention.
  3. EA sent me an email about a new addition coming to The Sims 4, triggering but I'm grateful to know I won't be wasting more money on their half baked products
  4. why I am quitting video games: >to save the money I would otherwise spend on games and equipment >to spend less time looking at screens >to make time for the things I want to be doing more, like drawing and going on walks >to be a good example for my daughter >to be angry less often >I don't enjoy gamer culture >I'm a pretentious hipster
  5. Attended an ITAA (Internet and Tech Addicts Anonymous) meeting, through zoom ironically of course, really enjoyed it.
  6. I really am starting to feel like the party is over for me, and I don't want to go back to gaming after my detox is over. I've proven to myself that I can game responsibly, but there's just so many better ways to use my time! I feel so much better in general when I'm not gaming and minimizing my screen time. I started listening to the game quitters podcast, specifically the "Gaming The System" one (as there seems to be two separate ones) and I've found it very illuminating, helpful, and entertaining. Since I'm trying to minimize my screentime I'm also trying to use my phone in more "wholesome" ways. I've never really listened to podcasts before but I think they'll be perfect for this. Not only do I lack the time and energy for reading actual paper books because of my daughter, (plus she's a destructive little monster lol) it's harder for me to process them because I'm dyslexic. I actually use a screen reader on my phone because of this, when I want to read large bodies of text, including here on the forum. Audio books are a gift from the heavens for people like me! Podcasts remind me of audio books, but they are different of course. Both of them have you focusing on one topic for an extended period of time though, which is good for building your attention span back up. I have found that I actually really enjoy just sitting around and taking everything in. No distractions necessary, just sitting with myself and the physical world around me. I especially enjoy doing this in the bus or the car. I see a lot of people spending their entire commute on their phone and to me that actually sounds more boring. There's so much to see, so much to hear! Even on airplanes, I spend most of the time looking out the window. But I've always been this way in vehicles, even in the height of my addiction. Something about them just makes me want to be present. I also suffer from chronic wanderlust, so I guess it's not really much of a surprise. Even when it hurts I've been relishing in going on long walks, because I spent a few years in a wheelchair I just can't take my ability to walk for granted. Sitting all day every day hurts so much more than my hip or knee getting irritated from a long walk, and I recover so much faster now too. I'll always be disabled, I was born with this condition and there's no cure, but I can ease my symptoms and I have been. For me and my type of EDS, exercise is the best medicine. Video games can be physically painful for me to play because of my joints anyway, I'd rather be using my wrists and fingers to draw or write instead.
  7. Today I woke up to pee at like 5:30AM, and it was so absolutely gorgeous outside I couldn't resist taking my daughter out there to show her the magic of a sunrise's light. (She woke up when I woke up so I had to take her with me to the bathroom which is clear across the house.) Well we actually ended up staying up all day, despite the fact that I didn't fall asleep until 1 or 2am last night. (Not for lack of trying, we laid down at around 11:30, I just have insomnia.) My wife woke up early too as a result of us being up already, must have felt our energy or something. Little one is actually taking a well deserved stroller nap at the park where we bussed to right now. We decided to spend the day here where there is plenty of shade, grass good for sitting on, and and people for her to watch. Later we will go eat Chinese food at a sit down restaurant, that will be our last activity before going home since there will inevitably be leftovers. It's quite hot today, 90 degrees Fahrenheit, and I've been doing a fair amount of the stroller pushing, so I'm definitely burning a lot of calories. Despite eating I have been hungry ALL DAY. I'm breastfeeding and still have ~30lb of baby weight to lose, (down 20 though!) so it comes as no surprise I'd be struggling with constant hunger. Hard to eat enough calories just to be in the HEALTHY weight loss range, let alone the absolute bare minimum. It really is such a beautiful day. Trying to soak it all in and just be present.
  8. Sounds stressful but exciting, so proud of you!
  9. Sunk cost fallacy kicking my ass tonight, feeling so dumb for having bought The Sims 4 and nearly all of it's expansions. That's a LOT of money. At least I bought everything on sale? Still over $500 USD. That's like an entire month of my SSI. At least maybe if I quit for good I will be saving a lot of money in the long run...
  10. I most often have dreams about gaming when I'm not gaming... how ironic. In this dream though, I realized I had forgotten I was detoxing and had started playing a game on autopilot, but when I realized it I shut the computer off and walked away from it. It was difficult to pull myself away but I did it anyway. I've had dreams about drugs like that too. Dreams about relapse, but also dreams about stopping myself before a relapse, or stopping after a small relapse instead of going all-in. These dreams feel powerful, these dreams feel important. Sometimes if I know I'm dreaming I'll just keep gaming or using, because I know it's just a dream. But I think it shows my dedication and change in mindset for me to walk away even when none of it is really real. I had cooler dreams after that gaming dream, so it was definitely worth it! Something I know will always be better than gaming is swimming. I love how swimming is inherently incompatible with electronics (at least for now...) and it forces me to be fully present at all times while doing it. Swimming is my happy place, water is my sanctuary. I really want to go swimming.
  11. Your daughter will be so proud of you, when she knows about your struggles and can understand them. I know I'm proud of you that's for sure!
  12. Today I took our daughter out on the bus by myself for the first time. I am physically disabled (EDS) and I am not very strong or fit, but I managed!! It was incredibly exhausting but fulfilling nonetheless. I'm very glad I was able to do it, I feel like I was able to prove something to myself and my wife and gain back some of my independence. I really want to be able to drive. I am petrified of doing so though, I have extreme car anxiety even as a passenger. The bus feels safer somehow (we're the bigger car, I guess?) and I really enjoy bussing. I just turned 26 and have a goal to be driving by my next birthday. Even if I just drive to the park and ride and still use the bus, it would be very helpful. It's just a life skill I want to have, even if I don't make much use of it. My wife learned to drive about 3 years ago, and she was also really anxious about it, so I think if she can do it so can I. She also loves bussing and because of the gas prices we have been trying to ride the bus more often since we go out almost every day. I went out today because she and her dad were replacing the breaks in our car and I did not want to be stuck at home alone with our daughter for 4+ hours (ended up being 6!) and I do not regret it. Even the parts that were difficult and exhausting were still better than dealing with her when she's bored lol. She turns into a little grumpy monster when she's bored. (I relate!) Our daughter loves the bus too, much more than the car because she doesn't need to be strapped down, and she can see out the big windows. Feeling really grateful to live in a city with a decent bus system. It's a smaller city so it's not the best by any means, but it gets me places, and being disabled gives me even cheaper bus fare. It gives me independence I wouldn't have otherwise. Instead of filling my time with video games, today I took my daughter on an outing. I got lots of exercise (walked a lot too! pushing her stroller even burns extra calories!) as well as time to just sit and live in the moment. I am exhausted and think I will sleep well tonight.
  13. My wife does help with the chores, it's just that we try to split everything evenly, and we both still have a lot on our plates even then. We have 3 cats and I do the litter in exchange for her doing the dishes, etc. No nanny or daycare, yet. Neither of us works because we are both disabled and on SSI, not enough money for a nanny. We live with my wife's dad, his girlfriend, and her 3 teenage children. They sometimes take her upstairs for a few hours at a time which is lovely, but so often I end up just vegging out during those times because I'm so exhausted! That or my wife and I have intimate time, since it's our only window to do so lol. We did however, sign up to try to enroll our daughter in a free daycare program for low income families. Still haven't heard back from them and it's been a few weeks so we might have to call. Really hoping that goes through, our daughter LOVES people and would probably have an amazing time playing with other kids her age!! And we could really use the break. Luckily she does do well with my wife most of the time, but she very much prefers when she has both of us. She's deep in that separation anxiety phase, it'll pass eventually, but right now it is exhausting.
  14. My father is about your age, he's been addicted to gaming my entire life. Definitely not just young people. It's never too late to quit and start living your life! Just remember you need to find new healthy hobbies to fill your time with. Best of luck!