1 hour ago, station mouse said:

In a lot of your updates you've said you miss games and I'm the same. I think maybe I will always miss them, or that it will take many years for that to fade.

After my roughly six years of no gaming, I sometimes reminisce the time, but I think I would do that even if I I hadn't gamed. I don't miss games anymore though. It was important for me to accept the past and move on, not to regret it.

On 1/25/2025 at 10:40 AM, WilderDaze said:

My gym sessions are about 1,5-2 hours long and in-between I need to rest properly and look over my program to make adjustments.

I get that. I just finished a workout with my girlfriend that lasted about an hour. Another hour to relax a little, take a shower and eat. I hated to rush the workout time maybe it was a part of the reason why I quit working out completely a few years ago. These two hour blocks are hard for me to find, but I try to work out at least twice a week.

51 minutes ago, WilderDaze said:

I've also started the process of trying to get up at 7 a.m. every day which is a bit rough so far, even though it has gotten better with each day. I've calculated that this is the optimal time for me to always get up as my work starts at 8 a.m. certain days. And it just helps with everything related to my sleep and energy for the day if I always get up the same time every day, or at least try. But this also means that I have to get in bed earlier and that's the most challenging part. I think I'll have to be a bit flexible with this as I sometimes work late hours and don't have the option to go to bed very early. I know for sure though that not playing video games will help immensely with this!

I get up around 7 every day at too, also because my earliest work time is 8. I normally tend to wake up with the sun, so to speak, but everybody is different. There are morningness/eveningness questionnaires online to help out with determining the best circadian rhythm for you 🙂 

10 hours ago, Yan said:

Sounds more or less like reality 😉 The first number could probably be multiplied by some 15 and the second by 4 or 5 and you're golden ;D

To be honest, it's quite impressive to resist it so many times (and for such a long time too). I'm sure my will wouldn't be as strong. I can't tell you how I did it exactly (apart from living my life the way I do), but I just don't get cravings anymore, so I don't need to resist them.

10 hours ago, Yan said:

Sounds terrifying being without scheduled time, like a source for infinite depression

 

I'd agree with that statement. Four, maybe three years ago, I approached a girl at the university. I immediately lost all interest in her after she told me that she just sat and watched series all spring holiday. I asked her again and got the same response. I think some people just slob around, do nothing all day and then wonder why they are depressed. I think they are depressed because they know in the back of their mind that they're not doing enough to meet their potential. I used to be like that when I gamed, but not anymore. I'm now intrinsically motivated to do my best. 

10 hours ago, Yan said:

I don't even know what you mean when you say "relax" never had that item on my schedule for years. Work is my relaxation. And it worked quite well for a few years...

In my case, writing relaxes me and it's an activity I like. I think stretching is becoming a relaxation activity for me too. I think people normally connect relaxation with their hobbies and free time. I find it rather interesting that what one person considers relaxation can be work for another. Dusting for an hour is literally more work for me than to have a lesson with my students 😄

10 hours ago, Yan said:

Maybe it will make you rebel, or maybe it's just your blizzard brain speaking 😉
In anycase so long as you're happy with your approach that's the most important thing. Because there are no right and wrong ways to live life. So long as you know what you aim for in the long term and your manner of living serves you (Begin with the end in mind from stephen covey's book, knowing what eulogy you want at your funeral, etc.) you're golden 🙂

Yeah, I've just worked for an hour an a half to improve my online tables for students. I didn't have it planned, but it's been in my head for a few weeks now. "Work" and "useful activities" are really my default whenever I find a bigger block of free time, like today. I think it's just about setting "correct" baseline activities of life. I'd really feel lazy if my baseline activity was watching series or films, for example.

18 Jan - 23 Jan:

I had to buy a new shower head because I managed to step on the old one and break it 😄 

There hasn't been that much happening otherwise. I came up with a few pricing improvements for my lessons. I spent time with my girlfriend and picked up a new book from the library.

On 1/8/2025 at 10:40 PM, Kam said:

Almost five years later, restarting this journal and committing to the 90 day detox.

A lot has changed - I now have three kids, I got the promotion I had been aiming for for years, life is going well in general. But the constant problem in my life has always been video games. I've hit a new low and I recognize I need to stop gaming in order to be truly happy.

After reading Cam's posts, I realize that I strongly resonate with the four needs that gaming fills: temporary escape, social, constant growth, and challenge/sense of purpose. I also have zero personal hobbies outside of gaming. Whenever I get a break, which is usually around 9pm after the house goes to bed, gaming is the only hobby I turn toward.

I'd like to still game in moderation in the future. I like Cam's approach of committing to at least 90 days before making any sort of decisions about gaming again. I haven't gone 90 days without playing a video game since probably elementary school. Definitely never in middle school, high school, college, or in my career.

I'm reading through Respawn now. Tonight, I'm going to uninstall all my games and pack away my gaming PC, Steam Deck, and Quest 3 in the basement

Welcome back!

On 1/21/2025 at 3:01 PM, Kam said:

Two weeks! I still feel a void. I still miss it a lot. However, there's no doubt in my mind that the quality of my life has improved dramatically the last two weeks. Sleep, exercise, reading, piano, work, family time - all of these have noticeably improved.

It's great you're seeing progress already. It's much easier to abstain when the benefits are not vague and murky.

On 1/17/2025 at 4:28 PM, Kam said:

However, I need some outside conversation with friends, and that was largely dominated by gaming discussions. I'll 100% need to focus on the social aspect, and soon.

I've never really had any gaming friends, perhaps except my brother, so my gaming was never connected with any "real" people. If the friends can talk about other stuff besides gaming, I guess it's OK though.

Well done on 16 days!

6 hours ago, Yan said:

Absolutely possible. Actuaally i'm in the same situation i was in my last relapse, sitting myself in a room and grinding over some project with minimal interaction with people and a very small feeling of progress if any.

Yes, that's definitely something to analyze. Maybe gaming didn't present itself as an escape in your head the first time or second time when you ground the project, but perhaps the tenth time. And maybe you resisted it for another five times, until you acted on the thought the sixth time.

6 hours ago, Yan said:

Honestly I don't remember when I felt "Bored". I always have something to do. Do you use time-blocking? Or do you have chunks of "free time" in your schedule? This "free time" is the only thing that can make you feel bored in my humble opinion and assumption.

I only "book" time for lessons with my students (around 25-30 hours a week). The rest of my time is not usually scheduled, I just normally go to bed at 10-11 and get up between 6-8 as necessary.

It's good to be bored sometimes, just for the experience. As I wrote, even when I am bored (or overworked, the other extreme), I don't think of gaming as an escape. When I'm overworked, I find an activity to relax like writing or I come up with a plan to tackle the problem. I usually find something to do even when I am bored too. It actually gives me space to focus on lesser priorities like chores around the house that are not as essential (e.g. dusting, putting boxes into the cellar etc.) These reactions are my second nature now and they're generally positive. I don't have to "plan" to relax, which really sounds like an oxymoron 😄 

And it works for me. There are always a few areas I'd like to work on more often, but I don't think I need to start planning for it. In fact, I think pushing myself into planning my days in detail would make me rebel and would cause more damage down the road. I usually do plan some activities if I have entire parts of the day free though. Maybe it will change in the future, but so far I am happy with my approach.

13 hours ago, Yan said:

Did you find that quote in Johann Hari's "Chasing the scream"? Or from another source? Would you suggest that book if you got it from there?

I think I saw it somewhere more times, maybe the first time in GQ-related materials. No book/source in particular.

1 hour ago, hemonkey said:

Thanks for the advice @Ikar! An update: I went to my math teacher today because he made a mistake on the test and I talked to him about it and how I deserve to get that question right. Unfortunately, he became enraged and yelled at me because I had bruised his ego. And funnily enough, the principal was sitting in his classroom which goes to show that he is indeed mentally ill and it is not my problem at all. I can't believe how 99% of students can put up with him acting like he's the king of this school.

I hope he at least got a warning from the principal because of that. I don't see how he's a helpful role model/authority, if he's tolerated to yell at students.

I think it's fair to slog it out at this high school until you finish it and pass the finals. Once you're 18/19, you're free to call your own shots. Looking back, I'd not get into the university, had I not had a particular reason to study (I wanted to be an army officer, so I had to go to the uni for that). I don't think it's helpful to go to the university for a completely random degree and I think working a few jobs to try out what fits is better (plus you'll get a stable income). I earned money since I was 19 (I also finished a university, but as a side project), but over the years (now I'm 27), I've built up a considerable reserve. It's really a big difference if you start work at 18/19, or after a degree at 22/25. There's data that uni people earn more, but I think it's just a correlation without causation and that the people would do well even without a degree. Plus, you can always do the degree later, if it's something you really want or need to advance your career.

Feel free to ask more about my reasoning if you want 😄 

12 hours ago, Yan said:

Got to love it when people take responsibility 🙂 I'd like to use this opportunity to remind you however that the times in between (the times you work) are also up to you and are your choice, and you can change them if you'd like, or make the best of them if you wouldn't, just in case you forgot 😉 

Since I don't have an employer, even my work-hours are my responsibility and decision. I work with students 1-to-1, so I don't have total control over their time, but yes, if I said "My work hours are between 12 and 6.", nobody could stop me from doing that.

12 hours ago, Yan said:

That's an interesting point, haven't thought much of it that way that it's a "negative" counter. I could rephrase it to something like "Days of self-accomplishment" or something of a sort, however, even the name of this website is game-quitters, so it is quite tied with gaming, guess I'm gonna stick to that phrasing for now, but it's worth pondering.

Sounds like you're getting closer to self-actualization as you see it, keep it up 🙂
 

My reasoning stems from the quote "The opposite of addiction is not sobriety (days without gaming), but connection (having a good life)." You're correct though that this is an "anti-gaming addiction" forum more than anything else. I stuck around over the years mostly because I just like to journal here. Thanks for the encouragement 🙂 

12 hours ago, Yan said:

-That's a nice number 🙂 I was also above 1,000 before the relapse. I think it was somewhere in the 1100s. (the 800 day counter was for useless videos, not gaming)
-Anyway what I was seeing as a problem in what you said is not that you didn't like the "negative" counter which reminds of gaming, which i didn't understand that you meant at the time, rather what was "worrying" me is that you said we shouldn't have a non gaming identity.
Which allows for loopholes for you to play here and there which could very quickly slip to full scale relapse. I think balancing shouldn't be attempted. But I might have mis-interpreted you.

-I'm not 100% sure it is like that for everyone(not regularily remind ingthemselves), I think that the counter is an important progress reminder, and may be a source of pride in the long term.

-Well, at least we agree on the fact it's a hazard to be managed for the rest of our lives 🙂

Bottom line: I think balancing should not be attempted, because the neuro circuits are strongly tied with each other and can quickly get us hooked.

Being 3 years without gaming is impressive! It's entirely possible there was something that you started lacking over time during your abstinence, maybe just in the last few weeks or months.

Yeah, my point was to show that the identity of being "anti-something" can only take you so far. Knowing what you're against is OK (gaming in your life), but knowing what you're for is better. Because once you know what you're for, it also solves a lot of the things you're against too. If you're for exercise and a good diet, you're automatically against being fat and a bad diet. And you don't need to remind yourself you're against being fat and a bad diet, because it's already embedded into the positive variant. I hope it makes sense 😄 

I'm also against the regulation of gaming in myself. I've tried that many times, before coming to the forum. It didn't work to take one hour here to do the chores and one hour there to do exercise. Now, even when I am bored, I don't think of games. My priorities are completely different than they were and I just don't have the time anyway.

5 hours ago, hemonkey said:

I hate studying, problems, and homework. I don't have bad grades, and I have no problem doing well in school; it's just that school is so tedious. My calculus teacher, in particular, is someone I dislike very much. He keeps ranting about how everyone should be passionate about math instead of only taking a hard class to get into a good college. I disagree with him completely. I think he is outdated and makes the class unnecessarily difficult because he is delusional about today's society and stuck in the past. My math teacher makes his tests many times harder than the AP test and expects half the class to get an A. How am I supposed to enjoy school? There is no way to argue with him because he is autistic and is full of pride and arrogance.

I am in a nerd high school because I wanted to challenge myself. Now I think my life is just boring because I am surrounded by nerds who only care about their GPA and test scores. Many of the nerds have no sense of humor at all and I feel like I am one of the few neurotypical and normal people in my class. This is why I like to hang out with the less study-orientated people at my school like my teammates in the swim team and water polo. I enjoy swimming and racing and I love the thrill of competition. I just don't like grinding it out at school. What should I do? Is this normal for me?

I wouldn't worry about school. The whole concept of school is tedious. You're not supposed to enjoy it, unless there's something wrong with you, or unless you go to a very particular type of school that meets your expectations.

Your teacher is in the wrong place. He should teach people who are passionate about math. The problem is, there would be far too many math teachers around for this real demand. He'd either have to be really good (and be self-employed or at a top institution), or he would work a different job. That's the issue with the education system in general; there's far too many teachers teaching far too many students, who are in turn given far too much useless information (at least for the students' benefit). Stacking up straight As is not how life works anyway.

I know this, because I've been teaching 1-to-1 English for a few years now. I can say that for most people, only pulling out their wallet and paying the course themselves makes them focus and get involved with English. They might not even be passionate about English, but they know they need it at work or while traveling. That way, I at least know they want to put in some effort. I'll let somebody be the prison guard of 15 teenagers (even if 2-3 of them would at least show some interest in the subject).

Being competitive is an interesting trait to have, but don't expect school to help you work with it. It might help you be a good manager or director one day, while the "straight A nerds" will be your rigorous employees. Who knows? 🙂 

P.S. I nearly failed high school math and failed a university. I quit my gaming addiction 5 years ago, managed to finish another university without a serious problem and built myself a job I love. Literally nobody remembers (and cares) I nearly failed HS math 10 years ago and failed uni 8 years ago.

10 hours ago, Yan said:

What do you mean by things you do randomly and haphazardly?

In the order that I do them, because my work hours are not regular and I mostly have free time around mid-day and late evening only, plus the weekends are up to me. I just think I could be more efficient/effective with the remainder of my time to get more things done. It's in my hands to change that though, if I feel like I'm getting too little done.

10 hours ago, Yan said:

I actually think that what Amphibian is saying in other words is "We shouldn't count the days because it sets the bar too high" "Better not set such a high bar to avoid failing" which in my book is the equivalent, of "Better not start, because then you may fail and have your expectations shattered". I might be misinterpreting though.

I counter to that. Life is a fight and it will remain so, no matter what we tell ourselves. Again, the best way i found to reduce the need for willpower is when  i continuously perform an activity and make it a part of my identity, which means, no slips here and there. Because once I do it brings up all the strong hormones and urges to play like an alcoholic. Which overpower us. I said that previously but it's worth repeating.

Perhaps I misunderstood @Amphibian220 too. To add a little bit of my experience, I've never really used the "day counter" to measure progress, except the first 90 days. Then again, on my 90th day, I was in Iceland for the first (and so far last) time, working a full-time job. I really had no time to think about anything. I think it's OK to have a routine that helps you stay grounded. It's just that I don't think consciously reminding myself of not gaming every day for the rest of my life would work for me. It might work for you though. I don't need that "negative" motivational push from the horrors of my gaming past, because I've already changed just about everything since then. I have a job I love. I have a girlfriend I love. I have friends and some hobbies. My relationships with family are better. I didn't have any of that when I gamed and I identify with my gaming-self very little today, if at all.

11 hours ago, Yan said:

Cam Adair recently posted a video on YouTube "I Survived 5,364 Days Without Video Games... Here's What Happened."

Why is it not an identity to keep forever? Because it's "too hard"? To be honest it seems a little like you fell and started giving yourself excuses why it's okay to stay down.

I agree that if you've stacked up 1000's of days of non-gaming, and slipped for gaming binge for a few days, it doesn't mean you will go back for a very long period. But that is largely due to the vast time you've been going without it.
And every one day you play still increases the chance of another one, because most of us also have a significant amount of days we did play, which set some hormone triggers in our brains. And even if not, games are built to make us tap into them.

For the above stated reasons, i strongly believe we shouldn't touch games

Yes, it's a good name for a YouTube video. Seeing 5364 days without games is impressive, especially if somebody is deep in the addiction. It might spark curiosity in the person and get them to click on the video. I quit gaming 2099 days ago. Does that mean Cam is 2,555x (5364/2099) more successful than me? No, it's just a random number that looks impressive. Cam is literally somebody who focuses his business around quitting compulsive gaming. It's his mission to help people who are in the same rabbit hole he was in. BUT the nature of his work requires him to keep on working with the topic of gaming addiction. He's not a "normal" person in this regard. Recovered addicts don't regularly remind themselves to not game/drink/watch porn/whatever. They're "over" it, either forever, or until they relapse. You are however correct in the fact that games are a hazard to be managed for the rest of our lives.

4 Jan - 17 Jan:

I had a call with two of my CELTA course colleagues. Played billiard with one friend group and board games with another. Spent time with my girlfriend too.

Stretched or worked out almost every day. Flossed the last two days as well.

I'm feeling a bit under pressure due to the uptick of new or returning students. I'm +3 this week and all of them seem to want to cram themselves into my afternoon/evening slots. It's a good problem to have, but still stressful and I want to take care handling it. I already have a plan in my head that I want to implement.

Take a look at the areas of your life and decide your goals for each of them for the next year. Put those goals on the page—this is the first step towards realizing them.

Plans for 2025:

Family:

I don't have any specific plans for my family, besides finishing my grandma's kitchen. I also don't have any plans of starting my own, although I've always said I'm ready after finishing the uni. The main thing for the success of that would be to manage time and money correctly.

Career:

The last year was successful business-wise. I got the confirmation for the new lecturer course running from February to May. The main goal is to get the website finished, so I want to actively cooperate with the other freelancers. I'm not going to set any arbitrary goals, except keeping my lesson work-hours around 20, and to managing the other admin stuff (preparation, mails, trainings) in another 10 hours. That makes the total of 30 hours worked a week.

-

Friends, community:

As I wrote above, I am part of more friend groups and communities. I don't have any big plans in mind regarding this area of my life. I expect to naturally drift towards more libertarian, financially educated and entrepreneurial/self-employed communities. I find the most inspiring people there.

Relaxation, hobbies, creativity:

I intend on continuing the hobbies I currently do, including writing, working out or going to the shooting range. I also want to remain curious about things and keep on traveling to break out of the cycle to unwind completely sometimes. Maybe I'll get around to blogging again. I think the line between work and relaxation is blurry for me.

Physical health, fitness:

Again working out (and stretching) and flossing. I think my diet is OK. I might start tracking some indicators of body fitness, but I don't think I'm quite there yet.

Mental health, self-knowledge:

Avoid overwork and burnout. Keep hours on roughly 20 lessons + 10 hours of ancillary work a week. Keep on doing things that feel right. Keep on planning/marking down things in my calendar.

Habits that define you:

family - keep in touch with my family at least once a month

girlfriend - make time to talk every day and keep on working on strengthening our relationship via common activities

career - work on my education continually, learning something new every week, even in unstructured ways; sources: CELTA, meeting other English lecturers/teachers, reading on their websites, lecturer course coming up in February, working on the business side of my work

friends/community habits - meet with my best friend a few times a month, meet with my friend groups a few times a month too

relaxation, hobbies, creativity habits - shooting range, writing, traveling, blogging, reading, being curious

fitness habits - stretch every day, work out/run twice a week; floss daily

mental health habits - keep my hobbies, work and other activities in balance, try new things every now and then

a better tomorrow habits - provide great added value back for the money of my students

 

On 1/13/2025 at 6:21 AM, wheatbiscuit said:

Basically, I haven't binged longer than regular waking hours (16 at the very most and worst, I believe) since I was given medical treatment almost 10 years ago now. Even then, I had chores and work to do/in my mind - not to mention relationships. My point is that maybe there's a passion you haven't exploited that you might be extremely efficient at, thereby reducing time spent in achieving satisfaction.

Ikar told me sometime that my age (29 or 30) was 'no age' in being set in my habits. One of the small moves I've taken is having bought some fair-priced colouring pencils. I'm now on the lookout for an extensive empty picture book. It's music and truly harmless concentration that I'm looking for. Keep searching! - I didn't enjoy the idea of you dominating a game too much (as you surely did!), but the humanness that crept into your posts as you potentially watched several of us 'drop off' was heartening, as I often find in these things.

___________

As an update, I 'creamed' several in-game tasks as well during my break, at much cost to my mental state a few times. It starts with my morning cup of tea, and the search for something that: 1) Takes 30/45/maybe 60 minutes, 2) Sets me up for the day's to-do list without making me down-and-out about it, and 3) Improves relationship perspectives, generally. Someone from one of my groups also passed away, which was unexpected and saddening but not truly unbelievable - I will say that it is still a bit unreal and unfair to me though, ultimately wrong or right I don't know. I'm not counting my chickens, but there is still a lot of hope for this year in my book.

Support to everyone and this beast of a journal. - Matt (wheat biscuits still have worked well at all hours).

I share that "16 hours most/worst" experience, eating and sleeping relatively normally. I'm now actually in the process of writing down habits that I want to establish work on this year. I still seem to do a lot of things randomly and haphazardly, but I'm trying to work on it. I don't think I need too many habits either. Ultimately, there's no time to do everything either and I want to have some fun or do something different at times.

On 1/14/2025 at 8:51 AM, Amphibian220 said:

 

@YanIn your posts, the day counts look very attractive. Your journal displays perfection which may also guide you to the reason for the relapse.

This attraction to counters distinguishes gamers because video games of all sorts communicate their successes to the player in this way.

I have this thinking for men who have taken the path to recovery in general: they have to start doing things they habitually outright avoid and deny. It can be difficult due to lack of knowledge. 

many do not have safe people with whom they can share so that they can become more aware, many do not address areas of chronic neglect. Asking someone close and trustworthy for help is a major step in healing.

I also eventually ditched the "day counter", as there was no need to track progress in this way anymore.

15 hours ago, Yan said:

To clean myself of its effects and reduce the need for willpower to fight gaming, there's one solution I'm aware of, and that is to not touch it completely fo a certain period which makes my identity as a "non-gamer" stronger, and makes me find substitutions for the hormone rushes it provides, and not even think of it, because that's not something i do on a day to day basis.

Regarding the other paragraphs
As you say you haven't binged over 16 hours. I have. Already two days out of the 4 i gamed, and in my previous relapse it was often happening too, with frequent 20 hours of gaming and 4 of sleep.

I do agree, there might be some haabit change needed, since i most definitely was lacking something if i started playing, although I'm not yet sure which , but i have some things in mind which I'm already trying out and we see how it works out

I think you should re-consider the "balancing thoughts yourself too, and i think its your "soft brain" talking excuses. Don't give it any place and take the path of self fulfillment and life, and not regret and avoiding the challenges of growth by tricking your brain's hormones.


Thank you very much for jumping n and giving your thoughts in any case. Appreciate it. Let me know what you think

I think labeling yourself as a "non-gamer" is helpful for the initial recovery phase (avoiding gaming), but it's not really an identity to have forever. I remember to this day I had the idea that I would present my then-students of English (back in 2019) what change came into my life by quitting games. In the end, I think the lesson got canceled, so I didn't have this presentation. I also remember having lessons with a former alcoholic and sharing our stories in early 2020. I can't imagine running lessons on that today in 2025 though 😄 I even played a TV-computer game with my friends in one room last year in autumn and I've just remembered it for the first time, even though at I was initially reluctant for obvious reasons.

If anything, it's good to know how you work and how you can operate. If going strictly down the path you set out for yourself, day in and day out, it's great. I've had a similar experience to @wheatbiscuit 's; I could game all day long, stopping just to eat and sleep, but my sleep schedule has always been remarkably consistent. Good luck exploring new activities and habits to help you not game 🙂 

9 hours ago, wheatbiscuit said:

One friend of mine expresses reluctance to 'overshare' at all, which is something I admire. The friend who contributed the lion's share to my journey here told me (after my detox!) that I still wasn't coherent enough for him. That is one of my more major concerns. If you hadn't already seen, I am largely soft by nature, and warming up is a very necessary process. Through abstinence I did achieve, but not much personally in that sphere. 

To conclude and re-state, 'should need' has yet to become 'does/do need'. Forum direct messages are always welcome, as I've typed what I would have typed to anyone, almost anywhere. 

If it helps anyone, I would encourage not to immediately view posts through the lenses of either addicts or fierce abstainers. I admit, it's hard to see many updates as a whole myself too, generally. 

Don't worry, I think you got a bit more coherent from the last time I checked 😄  I get the message about should need/do need, it's a good point to mention.

Evaluation of this year's goals:

-

Main must-have plans for 2024:

Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course. - finished in July

Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this. - finished in January

Move in with my girlfriend in April. - finished in April

Set up the new kitchen for my grandma. - I now checked on my phone that the first furniture construction/replacement happened this mid-September. Most of the furniture is now changed/constructed, as well as most of the ancillary stuff like gas, walls etc.

Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:

Re-start my financial blog in February. - I haven't really thought of it in the last few months. Optional.

Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard. - Optional. I don't even now know why it's here 🙂 

Habits:

Stop watching porn (again). - I had a run of three or four weeks without porn in June before CELTA. I entered "survival" mode during CELTA, as I just had no other way to relax and really even no time to relax. Holidays with my girlfriend usually give me time to stop, but it usually doesn't last long after. I just can't help but feel excited about it every now and then. And maybe that's it. I should just make my life more exciting and try new activities more often. I'll keep this in mind moving forward.

Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room. - I put my phone in the living room, so that works.

Establish flossing at least once a week. - I usually establish flossing for about a week and then successfully forget about it.

Exercise regularly. - I exercise with my girlfriend and do stretching on my own, in gradual intensity since about May.

-

Plans coming up below.

2024 yearly report

I'll lump reading, learning and university into one chunk:

Facts: I finished the university. I read two business/lecturer books, a book about health and a book about relationships. I finished the CELTA course. I met with my CELTA course-mate online. I read up on Reddit about finance and English teaching. I added and removed newsletters.

Feelings: I realized going to courses and reading books is nice, however it's not of much use if one doesn't actually apply the advice. Therefore, I'm quite OK with having read 'only' three books during the year, because I made notes (photos) of the important parts, grasped important concepts from them and overall put the advice into practice. I also became much more intent with newsletters. Whenever I find something interesting, I usually sub for a few weeks, check out the basic concept, and then unsub. My email is now much less cluttered than it used to be.

Family:

Facts: I think 80-90% of the whole kitchen project is done, mostly done in the second part of the last year. I think that's the only fact I have worth mentioning.

Feelings: I guess my mom is slowly succumbing to dementia. It's been happening for a few years, but I think putting a label on it helps me cope with it. I also don't think my father has skill-set and toolbox to make the situation better. I think the kitchen project really stretched my family's ability to work together. There would be problems even if we worked smoothly though. I'll let that be my lesson for the future; to do something for somebody with extreme limitations in how I do it, worrying about getting something wrong (for somebody else) and having to take blame from somebody else when something ultimately does go wrong. Maybe I'll grow closer to my family when I have kids, I don't know.

Business/English:

Facts: My business/English teaching is trending upwards. I improved the lessons for my students (questionnaires, CELTA), improved my business education (business books), worked on the marketing (new website, pricing) and eliminated nearly all language school courses. I have less than 10% of reduction of profits compared to the last year, but I also worked about 25% less lessons.

Feelings: I made some pretty big one-off investments into my business this year: I got the CELTA, new computer/technology and I'm working on the new website with a few other people. I feel good about it though, as it was and is necessary. Getting the CELTA was very demanding, but I managed to do it. Eliminating language school courses was also a big confidence boost and it assured me in that what I'm doing is correct and in demand.

Exercise:

Facts: My efforts to do exercise and stretch have been going up since May. I found a workout group I went out with a few times. I also started working out with my girlfriend several weeks ago.

Feelings: I think I started exercising more due to my occasional headaches and higher blood pressure. I don't know whether they are related, but exercise yields more benefits besides perhaps solving these problems.

Relationship with my girlfriend:

I've been looking forward to living together and we moved in together in April. I can say it's much better than living with flatmates, though perhaps a bit more distracting at times. I like to spend time by myself (for example when I have a free morning and my girlfriend's at work), so that's sometimes a challenge. What's great is that I think we solved/managed the traveling issue as well. I also started to exercise more, so I think that brought us closer together than ever before. We also worked on the "Seven Principles" book by Gottman and took some techniques and exercises from it. We also try to spend at least a bit of time alone with each other every day and I can say we're quite successful with that.

Social:

I participated in multiple different events: organized my friends and went to the shooting range with them, played billiard, laser game or table football; all that with different people and friend groups. I meet my best friend a few times a month. Oddly enough, I can also say an important social aspect has been the work on my new website with the web designer (and possibly the same for the coder this year as well). I can also say I have a good time with my girlfriend's family whenever I visit them.

Writing/Blogging:

I wrote/rewrote a grand total of two articles this year. I still have a few half-written articles I could finish, but I can't be bothered. I can't say I missed it or that I had an urge to write more often than that. Maybe later.

Other hobbies/activities I worked on this year: modern history, politics (though mostly as fun or infotainment), personal finance/investing, theater/culture events, shooting range, billiard, table football, my business.

Plans for this year coming up below.

 I'm using the template I used the last time. 10/12/24 - 7/1/25

"L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.

I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.

 

Books/Reading articles/Learning:

L: I however do think I made good progress in educating myself through chats, meetings and Reddit with other English lecturers. Read up on my sub-reddits about finance again. I also read a short and a very insightful book about language lecturing. Gonna borrow a book about health today.

T: Spent some time reading on Reddit again, scanning for any relevant information. I'm almost finished with "Outlive" by Attia. I can say it sparked more interest about health, exercise and fitness in general.

Possible direction/goals:

(Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.

 

Family:

L:  Managed to get to my grandma's kitchen twice with my friend and my father. Most of the old furniture has been eliminated. Now we just need to install the sink/sink cabinet and one more drawer cabinet. I also visited a Korean grill restaurant with my brother to try something new 🙂 

T: I went to the theater with my mom and made some family visits as usual. My father and my brother took turns to work on the grandma's kitchen and it seems like we're really nearing the end.

NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.

Possible direction/goals:

Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma.

Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.

 

Business/English:

L: I have the CELTA certificate at home now! I also improved my financial planning by implementing new tools. I also worked on writing some of my new website and worked with my web-designer. Section with the split of lessons (my own/language school) deleted. Feels good! I've had this goal for the last two/three years and now it's reality. I had nearly 20 hours of lessons last week and just 1 for language schools. I'm happy 😄 

The website improvement project is still ongoing, though not much work was done in the last month. The web-designer just asks me a thing or two every week; I assume he has enough work on other projects too. Truth be told, the ball was sometimes on my side and it took me a few days to supply something. It's OK though, because I know I'm doing something for my future career development. Other than that, it's standard Reddit reading about other teachers' experience, students finishing and starting, admin and preparation.

T: Worked on the new website again with the web-designer. Sent out the bi-yearly questionnaires to my students.

After sending out the questionnaires, I went for a holiday to Balearic Islands with my girlfriend. After coming back, I felt very excited to work with my students again! I contacted some of my old students and I signed up for a course organized and run by a coach I cooperated with in the past at the university and that paid for by the government. I hope the application goes through 🙂 

NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.

Possible direction/goals:

With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.

Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week.

Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.

Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. - check university offers after CELTA

Create a learning plan for myself. - going to CELTA

Go through "lecturer academy" + CELTA materials.

Networking and business events.

Past projects:

Questionnaire - June 2023

Fixed logos on my website for better visuals.

Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August).

Got minor pay raises from language schools. - summer 2023

Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required.

Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar.

Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls".

Lecturer academy Brona. - fall 2023

Sample business contract on my website. - update the web with new ideas before July

Google sheets system for students. - update it

Questionnaire part 2 - January 2024

Canceled agency courses - March

Taxes - April/May

60/55 minutes online transition - April/May

Questionnaire part 3 - June

CELTA - July 2024

Contacted old students with offers - Aug/Sep 2024

Raised prices - from Sep

Website improvement project - from Aug

reading business books - Vlach, Gramel

Questionnaire part 4 - Jan 25

 

Exercise/Movement:

L: These days, I normally manage 1-2x exercise sessions (or runs) and 1-2x stretching sessions. All that along with some hikes at the weekend and regular walks once or twice a day. My blood pressure is somewhat elevated, but not in need of medication. I have another appointment on the 19th to check up with the doctor.

T: Exercise is about the same as it was the last month. The appointment went alright, though I am going for another test later this month. Went to donate blood plasma twice as well, so I assume my health is alright, as they need to do checks.

NOT: I don't want to become fat.

Possible direction/goals:

I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change.

Keep in shape.

 

---

 

My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography.

This month, I did these cool activities: going for holiday with my girlfriend, baking christmas sweets with my girlfriend, visiting the theater with my mom, having a board-game night with friends, visiting my friends, working on my relationship with my girlfriend (7 Principles), reading about finance, reading about English. Spent less time at the computer too.

---

For thought:

Maybe I should just learn to plan better, though just the thought of having some hours of my day scheduled makes me cringe. Oddly enough, I don't get this feeling while planning lessons of my students, normally in bigger blocks. Maybe I should rethink that belief to make me happier.

I've had this recurring thought every now and then that I am often somehow prevented from what I want to do in my free time; basically whenever I am not with students or sleeping.

---

 

Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2024:

Main must-have plans for 2024:

Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course.

Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this.

Move in with my girlfriend in April.

Set up the new kitchen for my grandma.

Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:

Re-start my financial blog in February.

Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard.

Habits:

Stop watching porn (again).

Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room.

Establish flossing at least once a week.

Exercise regularly.

Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance.

It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.

 

---

17 Dec - 3 Jan:

I've had this recurring thought every now and then that I am often somehow prevented from what I want to do in my free time; basically whenever I am not with students or sleeping. I don't think the activities I'm missing are unimportant either. I'd like to read more, exercise more, work on my business more, floss more or journal more. I really miss doing the things, it's not about hitting some arbitrary benchmarks of hours exercised or money made. I can also say that I am better at the mentioned activities than I was a year ago - I'm more effective at work, I started exercising and I make time to read more often.

Distractions vary, but I ultimately believe I have the power to manage them in a way that makes sense. I just hate being distracted and not being able to focus. I feel like my day just wasted away if I don't have a regular dose of these sessions. Maybe I should just learn to plan better, though just the thought of having some hours of my day scheduled makes me cringe. Oddly enough, I don't get this feeling while planning lessons of my students, normally in bigger blocks. Maybe I should rethink that belief to make me happier.

As for the activities over the last two weeks: I did some reading, meeting with friends, went to cardiology, questionnaire, week-long trip to Mallorca with my girlfriend, got my financial spreadsheets updated, met my family, watched films and series with my girlfriend.

On 12/22/2024 at 6:48 AM, Yan said:

Listened to that book, as far as I remember it was a beneficial experience from which i took away some health improvements (lifestyle) don't remember which though 🙂 

Yes, I'm about to finish it and after I'm done, I'll find out more, especially about exercising. I am still nowhere near the recommended amount/quality, but I'm trying to get there.

10 Dec - 16 Dec:

Got some work done on my website again and I think my web-designer is finishing his work slowly as well. My girlfriend and I made Christmas sweets together last week. We also did some exercise and went out a few times. I went out to the theater with my mom on Saturday and went shopping for new pants with my girlfriend on Sunday. The shopping turned out to be painful; I got a headache later during the day, maybe because of dehydration, not eating enough or just because of the environment in the shopping mall. I also started reading a new book called "Outlive" by Peter Attia, so I hope to take some insights from it for a healthier life.

 I'm using the template I used the last time. 6/11/24 - 10/12/24

"L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.

I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.

 

Books/Reading articles/Learning:

L: I however do think I made good progress in educating myself through chats, meetings and Reddit with other English lecturers. I went to a seminar about tech in education, met with my coursemate again and studied more about AI. Read up on my sub-reddits about finance again.

T: More of the same really. I also read a short and a very insightful book about language lecturing. Gonna borrow a book about health today.

Possible direction/goals:

(Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.

 

Family:

L: Got some work done on the water pipes and electricity, mostly by my father. My girlfriend and my friend noticed he treats me quite harshly and that my reactions are quite harsh too; I'm really oblivious to that, because it's just how it's always been. We usually help out one another in need, so I guess that's OK. However, I'm working on having different relationship dynamics with others.

T: Managed to get to my grandma's kitchen twice with my friend and my father. Most of the old furniture has been eliminated. Now we just need to install the sink/sink cabinet and one more drawer cabinet. I also visited a Korean grill restaurant with my brother to try something new 🙂 

NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.

Possible direction/goals:

Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma.

Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.

 

Business/English:

L: I have the CELTA certificate at home now! I also improved my financial planning by implementing new tools. I also worked on writing some of my new website and worked with my web-designer. I wrote about the teaching-philosophy change above.

 Section with the split of lessons (my own/language school) deleted. Feels good! I've had this goal for the last two/three years and now it's reality. I had nearly 20 hours of lessons last week and just 1 for language schools. I'm happy 😄 

T: The website improvement project is still ongoing, though not much work was done in the last month. The web-designer just asks me a thing or two every week; I assume he has enough work on other projects too. Truth be told, the ball was sometimes on my side and it took me a few days to supply something. It's OK though, because I know I'm doing something for my future career development. Other than that, it's standard Reddit reading about other teachers' experience, students finishing and starting, admin and preparation.

NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.

Possible direction/goals:

With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.

Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week.

Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.

Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. - check university offers after CELTA

Create a learning plan for myself. - going to CELTA

Go through "lecturer academy" + CELTA materials.

Networking and business events.

Past projects:

Questionnaire - June 2023

Fixed logos on my website for better visuals.

Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August).

Got minor pay raises from language schools. - summer 2023

Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required.

Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar.

Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls".

Lecturer academy Brona. - fall 2023

Sample business contract on my website. - update the web with new ideas before July

Google sheets system for students. - update it

Questionnaire part 2 - January 2024

Canceled agency courses - March

Taxes - April/May

60/55 minutes online transition - April/May

Questionnaire part 3 - June

CELTA - July 2024

Contacted old students with offers - Aug/Sep 2024

Raised prices - from Sep

Website improvement project - from Aug

 

Exercise/Movement:

L: I started being more conscious about my health after finding out about my high blood pressure. I'm gonna get a cardiological appointment soon. I also started being more intent on exercising semi-daily and standing/walking during the lessons rather than sitting. I went to a hike or two too.

T: These days, I normally manage 1-2x exercise sessions (or runs) and 1-2x stretching sessions. All that along with some hikes at the weekend and regular walks once or twice a day. My blood pressure is somewhat elevated, but not in need of medication. I have another appointment on the 19th to check up with the doctor.

NOT: I don't want to become fat.

Possible direction/goals:

I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change.

Keep in shape.

 

---

 

My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography.

This month, I did these cool activities: going to the shooting range with my friends, doing some minor fixes in my car, working on my grandma's kitchen, visiting my friends, working on my relationship with my girlfriend (7 Principles), reading about finance, reading about English, going to a wedding/hike/theater/debate with my girlfriend, going to a laser game with my friends. Spent less time at the computer too.

 

---

 

Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2024:

Main must-have plans for 2024:

Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course.

Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this.

Move in with my girlfriend in April.

Set up the new kitchen for my grandma.

Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:

Re-start my financial blog in February.

Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard.

Habits:

Stop watching porn (again).

Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room.

Establish flossing at least once a week.

Exercise regularly.

Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance.

It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.

Hope all is good, it's been some time since you last posted.

5 Dec - 8 Dec:

Spent some time with my family and out with friends. Did some reading and kitchen reconstructing too. Nothing unusual otherwise.

28 Nov - 4 Dec:

I had the Holter monitor for the whole day and I averaged blood pressure of 132/75 and 56 BPM. I have a cardiology appointment on 19 Dec, but I think it'll be OK 🙂 

Spent some time reading financial and English teaching Reddit. Went to the shooting range with a group of friends, changed/charged my car battery. Spent a good deal of time reconstructing my grandma's kitchen with my friend on Saturday. Doing fine otherwise 😄

 

On 11/26/2024 at 5:26 PM, D_Cozy said:

Talk to my partner - we talked about the above so far, the dogs having their vet appointments. I let her know about the recurring event on my calendar to serve as a reminder. We also talked about tomorrow; I took a day off so my wife can get IVF. The path to a 4th kid 😄

I have next to zero idea what parenthood (or being a father) entails, but I've always been optimistic about getting to it. I think it's worth the admiration. And I consider it an important part of life too. I just don't think only having free hands with my career and hobbies (as my health gradually declines) is all there is to life. I hope to be a father once too. I hope it goes well for you and your wife! 😄