Ikar

My bad, I made a hyperbole with the 50% divorce rate. It is true that lesser and lesser amount of people are getting divorced, because lesser and lesser amount of people are getting married in the first place. Article 1 you provided mentions that the % share of people who got never married is increasing as time goes by. Article 3 has nice graphs and I think it's best not to look at the absolute or relative number of divorces, but rather single-parented households and births outside marriage to get to the cornerstone point I had in mind when I made my original comment: https://ourworldindata.org/marriages-and-divorces#there-has-been-a-decoupling-of-parenthood-and-marriage https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/share-of-births-outside-marriage https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/share-of-single-parent-families Marriage is an institution to primarily protect the children of the parents and to ensure they get a somewhat fair treatment in case both of the parents are not around anymore (for whatever reason). I don't buy the argument that marriage is there to "secure the love" in the relationship or whatever - I don't need a piece of paper to prove that I enjoy being with my girlfriend or to stop me from cheating on her if things go sideways. The main point is below: "Single-parent households are among the most financially vulnerable groups. This is true even in rich countries. According to Eurostat data, across European countries 47% of single-parent households were “at risk of poverty or social exclusion” in 2017, compared with 21% of two-parent households." What worries me is the combination of the increasing poverty of the single-parent households coupled with the increasing amount of these. Then, there are two solutions how can the government go about this: 1) create a rich welfare state to support the single parent families, or 2) cut the welfare state to the absolute minimum to perhaps pressure some sense into the squabbling parents with the child I see the 2) as the more reasonable solution, because it frees up money to be spent elsewhere and it doesn't sponsor the anti-social behavior towards the taxpayer as well as the child. Kids today are (roughly) a 20-year project until they are reasonably independent, so it's nearly impossible for anyone to set up two successful families (biologically speaking). My lengthy explanation above probably explained this part too; the conclusion in Article 4 is that (30 years ago), tearing down the nuclear family will have negative consequences in the future - and since then, I think the West has definitely moved in that direction, looking at the graphs from Article 3. Again, with a hyperbole, I hope I will never wake up one morning to see some TV advert, presenting family on the same side of societal ills such as tobacco or alcohol. No problem, I thank you even. I made a quick careless remark and you called me out on it, so I had to explain what I meant in more detail what I mean by what I wrote. I hope I made my argument clearer now 🙂

4th Dec - 11th Dec: Finished one uni presentation, currently studying for the test on Monday. Finished watching "The Wire". It is a good series, however I don't think series overall are good for me, because I just spend too much time watching them and there are more useful things to be done even if I want to relax or take a break. I'm having a cold in the last few days, mostly just a runny nose though, so nothing horrible. Went to the gym on Tuesday, going for a walk today. I don't think this idea is anything new and maybe I described it somewhere before, but ejaculating multiple times during a few days does make me more satiated and "happy" with whatever situation there is in my life. I think it makes me calmer as well. It's also the creator of zits, primarily on my face, heh. There's something on the proclivity to be animistic in my life and unleashing that sort of energy wherever it is desirable/useful: in the army (exercise, shooting), sex/masturbation, gym and others.

Is she actively countering your efforts to get closer or is she just indifferent? It's difficult to keep good familial relationships in this age, when every second marriage ends in divorce and all the anti-familial propaganda keeps telling us we can be everyone/everything we can be and ordering us to chuck relationships as soon as something difficult comes up.

Alright, no more numbers of days in this journal, just a few sentences/stats for the last few days: Gym/walk number: 2 My German Erasmus application is probably not going to work out. I think I goofed around too much and didn't communicate with the people in November. Sold a chunk of my drums, so I have only a few pieces of equipment left. Worked on the university project. Jammed with a guy playing the guitar with me singing and drumming in an improvised way. Turned out the situation with the girl I described above was more nuanced than I thought it would be. Visited my grandma on Friday after work, because I wanted to talk this over with someone I trust and I needed to get my plan together. The case is still active and I'm vigilant. I'm actually enjoying this situation. All in the game.

Awesome! Enjoy yourself for a few days after all that hard work.

Day 937: I had English classes, uni classes and worked out at the gym. Day 938: I had English classes, did some work for the uni and had a social evening. Day 939: I had English classes, went to the gym, went for a short walk, went for sushi with my brother and had a social evening. Day 940: I had English classes, worked on the uni and had a short chat with a few people in the evening. Day 941: Today - TBA. --- So I'm done scouting one girl, found out that while she's fairly straightforward, she's the type to fuck first and unlikely to talk to later. I probably wouldn't have met her again if I trusted my gut after the first time we were outside, but I wanted to be sure because we did have fun after all. I dodged a bullet with that one, because I wouldn't want to be with anyone who is untrustworthy. I'm past chasing pussy for all the wrong reasons. Coming to think of that, the only person I put some effort into knowing and building the tension prior to sleeping with her was my X, after about a month via online chatting. With others I just slept with randomly and then talked or built the tension for "nothing". It's a long road ahead of me to find the relationship that I want.

Day 934: I had English classes, worked out at the gym, prepared for my English classes and wrote the monthly report. Day 935: I went for a hike. Day 936: I worked on my Erasmus application and I visited my family. --- Slow days and fast days. Everything and nothing at the same time. The less I do, the less I want to do, especially if there's little/no progress. And the more I feel unfocused during the day and restless at the end of days. For whatever reason, I think spending a whole day on a hike and then half a day with my family is just too much sitting on my ass and not doing anything productive. After these activities, I don't feel like working on anything in the evening.

I'm using the template I used the last time. 14/10/21 - 19/11/21 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. --- Active writing (blog/writings/journal): L: I've been writing to one friend, exchanging a lot of ideas together, however I don't think there's any novel thought in that I could extrapolate from and write here. No progress on my blog. T: I've only been actively writing here on GQ to a few other journals/topics and my own diary. Nothing more than that. Possible direction/goals: Finish Past Authoring and the whole course. Write on my blog. Work on "Breaking Free Exercises" from the NMMNG book. Keep writing in my diary here twice a week. Books/Reading articles: L: I read a part of Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago" I wanted to read for a while. Other than that, just the newsletters. T: I've not been reading anything much, only the occasional newsletter. I only watched a few lectures with Thomas Sowell. Possible direction/goals: Continue getting through the newsletters. Family: L: I've noticed that my mom is making effort to get closer to me, however I feel fairly indifferent towards her. I am not sure whether I feel that way because my brother and I learnt as kids to get by without her support to a large extent or whether it's just too early for me to buy into that she's making a turn to become more family-oriented, but I just don't seem to care so far. T: The last four weeks, my mom was in the spa and I drove her back home on Wednesday. I told her I see the effort with her trying to be closer to us and I told her that I appreciate it. It's been pretty standard going with the rest of my family. Just wrote my brother to meet up for sushi next week too. I feel quite good about the situation in the family at the moment. Possible direction/goals: Continue working on bettering the relationships with my family. University: L: The uni situation is a lot more interesting now! More things to do, assignments to finish... Some of the classes are fairly interesting and entertaining, the other ones are the same tedium as they've always been. T: The uni's been in full swing. So far, I/we have been nailing the assignments without much trouble. I did a bit of brainstorming with a few people about the master's thesis and got some ideas for it. Possible direction/goals: Find more sources for my upcoming masters' thesis. Work on the assignments in a timely manner. Exercise/movement: L: I usually make it to gym at least twice a week, on top of cycling a bit if I have in-person classes and the odd walk if I have more free time. I still feel the back from time to time from sitting too much due to work though. T: This month has been slower, yet every week I went at least once for a walk and at least once to the gym. Possible direction/goals: Keep in shape. English: L: I am currently working with 20-25 hours of English per week and I'm not interested in taking up more courses, because I wouldn't have the time for them anyway. I'm also meeting my English teacher/friend every Tuesday in the class, so it's perfect to have the inspiration at hand. T: I met with a guy about my age running a very small-scale language school with a few friends/part-time workers, so there's some inspiration for me to do something a little bit different from what I do now. Possible direction/goals: Look into strategies in becoming truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. I am going to pursue closer co-operation with my English mentor. I am going to check out a few more seminars on how to run online courses. Women/dating: L: T: I've been meeting one girl for about a month now, both in a planned way but also running into her randomly. She seems shy, a maverick/lone-wolf to a great extent, but also quite honest. I think it's gonna be interesting. Gonna meet her on Monday and do something together again. Possible direction/goals: Set up at least two dates a month. Friends (men/women): L: A few guys and I formed a gym group, for which I am fairly happy and they're a good bunch to talk to, joke around and hang out with. T: One of the guys I've met at the geographers' meetup was quite interesting and I think we had good connection, although we're not gonna see very often, because we live in different cities. Made some time to meet in a coffee shop with one of my female friends too. Future goals/direction: - ----- Additional thoughts: The Wire is a great series! The geographers' meeting was nice, though nobody has any idea when will the next one be. ----- SECTION REMOVED - to make the report less cluttered and easier to read.

Day 938: I did the laundry, worked on a school project, prepared for English classes, wrote here and met with a friend in the evening. Day 939: I worked on a school project, visited my family and played billiard in the evening. Day 940: I had English classes, uni classes and went for a walk with a friend. Day 941: I had English classes and a social evening. Day 932: I picked my mom up from the spa, spent some time with my family and did some minor things during the rest of the day. Day 933: I had English classes, washed the dishes and went to an English speaking event in the evening for a while. Day 934: Today - TBA. --- I've been feeling fairly lazy the past week or so, but after I finish my classes this afternoon, I'm gonna work out, work on the monthly report and do preparation for English classes the next week.

I haven't watched anything resembling porn for a long time either. It just feels the more I am in the real world, the less I need to fantasize about unreal things. I've actually always found the idea of porn kinda funny, thanks to the disjointed concept of those situations. I mean, if I am driven to do something, I don't need goals or some arbitrary metrics to measure it - I just do it. I'm really not a fan of planning anything else besides my work-time. I think it's all good, as long as I don't end up overdoing something. I can see you are quite a compassionate person from what I've read. I think that I am not - I am more of an honest asshole. Here's my perspective on the situation: a) I don't think age has much to do with how compassionate or considerate people are. What can be learnt is to be watchful and observant of other people and notice things about them. Then one can act upon them or let them be. b) I take people for their word. If someone tells me that they are doing fine, I believe them. If someone wants me to "extract" their worries or problems out of them, I'm very unlikely to be around long for them to do that, especially if it's someone I don't know closely. On the other hand, I also understand if they don't want to share the problem in a group of people they don't know either, because who wants to be a center of attention for their problems. c) People are primarily responsible for their own problems and how do they go around solving them. I believe the primary program for most people is "I want X, so I go get X." and not "I want X, so I hope others will somehow notice the hints I give them and help me get X." The bottom-line is, the situation is about YOU. YOU feel better after sending that text and shaking off the unease of not acting on your gut feeling earlier.

It's okay to feel a bit out of place after finishing a long-term project. I felt like that after finishing my thesis and final exams. It will take you a few days to adapt. Myself, I'm feeling somewhat lazy the past few days, but then again, I don't feel anything really chasing me to the point of driving me anxious either. The main thing is to not overdo anything to my detriment.

I posted in a few people's topic around GQ, it's just that I don't find there's much to comment on my own life. It could be because I talk about stuff with people IRL, bounce the ideas back and forth and then there's no need to report on them here. Regardless, I always find a few minutes a week at least to put in a few lines about what I did.

Day 933: I had English classes, uni classes and played table football in the evening. Day 934: I had English classes and a social evening. Day 935: I had English classes, went to the gym and went for a walk with a girl in the evening. Day 936: I had English classes and a social evening. Day 937: I had English classes, went to the gym, worked a bit on a school project and had a relaxed day. Day 938: Today - TBA. --- I have not been writing much here. Mostly because things are going fine as they are. I'm quite enjoying the presence of multiple people in my life currently, both men and women and both new and old. The uni's been fine as well as English teaching. Gonna work on the monthly report soon too.

Welcome to the forums!

I see, I think we all have issues with that from time to time. Then again, I think it's important to take the chill pill sometimes and not sweat things too much. I can't imagine a single area in which my life couldn't be better, but I feel fine with most of them as they are. I'll focus on them once I feel they are becoming more change-relevant. I actually enjoy doing household chores, such as washing the dishes or doing the laundry. The occasional gym is also good. Cleaning I'll live with, haha. It's funny, but in a way I believe everything I do needs to be done anyway! I think that's why I made the "future direction" section in my monthly report. I can track how my goals evolve in all the relevant categories and also to give me ideas where to start at some point in the future.

Severe addictions very often have this life/death quality. A friend of my father once threw out his 25 year-old son on the street, because he wasn't doing anything else besides gaming and eating. His son got his stuff together, got a job and a place to live, but there was no guarantee that he would not just become a homeless junkie. As @BooksandTreeshas pointed out above, what you need to figure out is why your son attempted suicide and help him work on these areas. Excessive gaming is a symptom, not the root issue. I don't think it's cynical. I think it's true. If the "screen" is his preferred activity, it doesn't mean he can't do other things. Plus "screen" doesn't necessarily equal "gaming". He can do other things on the computer too. In my case, while I was gaming, I learnt English on such a level that it led me to start teaching English. I tried to make the most out of a bad situation and two and a half years later, I can surely say I am in a better place.

Day 924: I worked on a uni project, went for a walk, prepared for my English classes, watched "The Wire", cleaned my room, washed the dishes and went out in the evening. Day 925: I prepared for my English classes, visited my family, changed the tires on my car, got a haircut and watched "The Wire". Day 926: I had English classes, uni classes, went to the gym and went outside with a girl in the evening. Day 927: I had English classes, a uni class, did the laundry, went for a walk and had a social evening. Day 928: I had English classes and a social evening. Day 929 - Day 932: I went for a trip to Bohemia with people from the geography group.

Day 918: I worked on a school project, visited my family, did a few chess puzzles and played billiard in the evening. Day 919: I had English classes, uni classes, worked out at the gym and had a social evening. Day 920: I had English classes, had a geography group meeting and had a social evening. Day 921: I had English classes, wrote here, went for a walk and had a social evening. Day 922: I had English classes, wrote friends, had a nap, played football, relaxed and watched "The Wire" in the evening. Day 923: I had English classes, wrote friends, went to the gym, did some paperwork and watched "The Wire". I'm gonna have a relaxed evening. --- My friend invited a lot of new people to the billiard and the evening was quite interesting. I've been playing quite a bit of table football recently and I can say I'm quite okay at it now. I could've gone out with friends on Thursday (yesterday) as well, however I decided to not push myself, as I was tired from all the previous days I've been out.

What's your relationship with "work"? Do you find it in some way inferior to the other parts of your life?

I think there are some hobbies that can make me thrilled while I do them, e.g. paintball/shooting, paragliding, even dancing in some cases. Life is both about being in the moment and doing something for the future. I think a lot of the people today do not understand/appreciate the fact that they need to follow some rules to be free. I don't think that these rules are something necessarily unnatural or inhumane. It makes sense that once I make money through work, then I can use my non-work time for relaxation or other hobbies. While this makes working a necessity (for most people anyway), it doesn't mean they have to be in a job that they hate/dislike and run it counter to their hobbies which they enjoy. I don't hate eating what I eat, so it makes sense I don't hate working my job. Moreover, the fact I choose to spend my time makes my hobbies and work equally important for my life. I see. I believe I could have good sex and a relationship with a lot of women. I don't think I've ever wanted to have sex with more women while I already had a relationship with sex. I could appreciate that the other girl was beautiful and that I even had some ideas about her in the past, but my curiosity in other women just sharply declined once I was "with" one. Regarding listening to people: listen to yourself and do yourself. Even if you do something idiotic, at least it was your idea and you can learn from it directly. If somebody else tells you something that is fucked up, the lesson you learn is to listen to and believe yourself more anyway.

I think the main idea is that the society is already well-off enough so that a lot of the people do not experience "physical stress/survival" situations unless they absolutely want to, but I think on the whole the humanity is becoming more complacent and fragile. There's still plenty of "psychological stress/survival" situations around and I think there will always be though.

I agree with you. Myself, I begin to trust people when I know that I can rely on them that it usually takes some time, but after that I believe that there are few people that I would do anything for. Haha, I'm happy you took some time to go through my posts! 🙂

Good job! Try it, if you know them in person. I'd argue I just use the social hobby in order to connect with the other person, because overall I think the "factual" things like sharing hobbies are not that important for a meaningful relationship. I think being able to relate to and sympathizing with other people on a mental level is far more conductive (talking about opinions, experiences, feelings) for creation of such relationships.

I watched a video about the components of happiness (in a video about personal finance, strangely enough) and it's probably why Frankl was able to get by the horrors of concentration camps. Feeling in control of our lives by choosing our responses is way more important than the place or stage we are in.

Day 916: I had English classes, researched the Erasmus+ project, rode the bike a bit, wrote my friends, washed the laundry and watched "Lord of War". Day 917: I read some uni papers, worked on a uni project, did a bit of chess, watched some videos about WWII, washed the dishes, read a bit about personal finance, read some of my old texts/notes and started watching "The Wire". --- This is a rare post, as I stumbled upon here after a slow, yet restorative day. I am somewhat physically limited at the moment, as I can feel some pain in my throat, so I didn't even go outside, to the gym or to plant trees at an uni event (which was the original plan for today) and stayed put the whole day. Having this unusually slow day, I decided I'd look after my shelved texts, hobbies and projects which sparked some ideas in my head and was fun as well. I ordered a book I had a good laugh reading over five years ago. I re-watched a video about the relationship money and time have in our lives. I also realized that I have a lot of work to do with my English-teaching business, university, family, dating... but today, I decided to relax, to appreciate the progress and to be grateful for all the progress I've made.