Ikar

I'm using the template I used the last time. 14/10/21 - 19/11/21 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. --- Active writing (blog/writings/journal): L: I've been writing to one friend, exchanging a lot of ideas together, however I don't think there's any novel thought in that I could extrapolate from and write here. No progress on my blog. T: I've only been actively writing here on GQ to a few other journals/topics and my own diary. Nothing more than that. Possible direction/goals: Finish Past Authoring and the whole course. Write on my blog. Work on "Breaking Free Exercises" from the NMMNG book. Keep writing in my diary here twice a week. Books/Reading articles: L: I read a part of Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago" I wanted to read for a while. Other than that, just the newsletters. T: I've not been reading anything much, only the occasional newsletter. I only watched a few lectures with Thomas Sowell. Possible direction/goals: Continue getting through the newsletters. Family: L: I've noticed that my mom is making effort to get closer to me, however I feel fairly indifferent towards her. I am not sure whether I feel that way because my brother and I learnt as kids to get by without her support to a large extent or whether it's just too early for me to buy into that she's making a turn to become more family-oriented, but I just don't seem to care so far. T: The last four weeks, my mom was in the spa and I drove her back home on Wednesday. I told her I see the effort with her trying to be closer to us and I told her that I appreciate it. It's been pretty standard going with the rest of my family. Just wrote my brother to meet up for sushi next week too. I feel quite good about the situation in the family at the moment. Possible direction/goals: Continue working on bettering the relationships with my family. University: L: The uni situation is a lot more interesting now! More things to do, assignments to finish... Some of the classes are fairly interesting and entertaining, the other ones are the same tedium as they've always been. T: The uni's been in full swing. So far, I/we have been nailing the assignments without much trouble. I did a bit of brainstorming with a few people about the master's thesis and got some ideas for it. Possible direction/goals: Find more sources for my upcoming masters' thesis. Work on the assignments in a timely manner. Exercise/movement: L: I usually make it to gym at least twice a week, on top of cycling a bit if I have in-person classes and the odd walk if I have more free time. I still feel the back from time to time from sitting too much due to work though. T: This month has been slower, yet every week I went at least once for a walk and at least once to the gym. Possible direction/goals: Keep in shape. English: L: I am currently working with 20-25 hours of English per week and I'm not interested in taking up more courses, because I wouldn't have the time for them anyway. I'm also meeting my English teacher/friend every Tuesday in the class, so it's perfect to have the inspiration at hand. T: I met with a guy about my age running a very small-scale language school with a few friends/part-time workers, so there's some inspiration for me to do something a little bit different from what I do now. Possible direction/goals: Look into strategies in becoming truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. I am going to pursue closer co-operation with my English mentor. I am going to check out a few more seminars on how to run online courses. Women/dating: L: T: I've been meeting one girl for about a month now, both in a planned way but also running into her randomly. She seems shy, a maverick/lone-wolf to a great extent, but also quite honest. I think it's gonna be interesting. Gonna meet her on Monday and do something together again. Possible direction/goals: Set up at least two dates a month. Friends (men/women): L: A few guys and I formed a gym group, for which I am fairly happy and they're a good bunch to talk to, joke around and hang out with. T: One of the guys I've met at the geographers' meetup was quite interesting and I think we had good connection, although we're not gonna see very often, because we live in different cities. Made some time to meet in a coffee shop with one of my female friends too. Future goals/direction: - ----- Additional thoughts: The Wire is a great series! The geographers' meeting was nice, though nobody has any idea when will the next one be. ----- SECTION REMOVED - to make the report less cluttered and easier to read.

Day 938: I did the laundry, worked on a school project, prepared for English classes, wrote here and met with a friend in the evening. Day 939: I worked on a school project, visited my family and played billiard in the evening. Day 940: I had English classes, uni classes and went for a walk with a friend. Day 941: I had English classes and a social evening. Day 932: I picked my mom up from the spa, spent some time with my family and did some minor things during the rest of the day. Day 933: I had English classes, washed the dishes and went to an English speaking event in the evening for a while. Day 934: Today - TBA. --- I've been feeling fairly lazy the past week or so, but after I finish my classes this afternoon, I'm gonna work out, work on the monthly report and do preparation for English classes the next week.

I haven't watched anything resembling porn for a long time either. It just feels the more I am in the real world, the less I need to fantasize about unreal things. I've actually always found the idea of porn kinda funny, thanks to the disjointed concept of those situations. I mean, if I am driven to do something, I don't need goals or some arbitrary metrics to measure it - I just do it. I'm really not a fan of planning anything else besides my work-time. I think it's all good, as long as I don't end up overdoing something. I can see you are quite a compassionate person from what I've read. I think that I am not - I am more of an honest asshole. Here's my perspective on the situation: a) I don't think age has much to do with how compassionate or considerate people are. What can be learnt is to be watchful and observant of other people and notice things about them. Then one can act upon them or let them be. b) I take people for their word. If someone tells me that they are doing fine, I believe them. If someone wants me to "extract" their worries or problems out of them, I'm very unlikely to be around long for them to do that, especially if it's someone I don't know closely. On the other hand, I also understand if they don't want to share the problem in a group of people they don't know either, because who wants to be a center of attention for their problems. c) People are primarily responsible for their own problems and how do they go around solving them. I believe the primary program for most people is "I want X, so I go get X." and not "I want X, so I hope others will somehow notice the hints I give them and help me get X." The bottom-line is, the situation is about YOU. YOU feel better after sending that text and shaking off the unease of not acting on your gut feeling earlier.

It's okay to feel a bit out of place after finishing a long-term project. I felt like that after finishing my thesis and final exams. It will take you a few days to adapt. Myself, I'm feeling somewhat lazy the past few days, but then again, I don't feel anything really chasing me to the point of driving me anxious either. The main thing is to not overdo anything to my detriment.

I posted in a few people's topic around GQ, it's just that I don't find there's much to comment on my own life. It could be because I talk about stuff with people IRL, bounce the ideas back and forth and then there's no need to report on them here. Regardless, I always find a few minutes a week at least to put in a few lines about what I did.

Day 933: I had English classes, uni classes and played table football in the evening. Day 934: I had English classes and a social evening. Day 935: I had English classes, went to the gym and went for a walk with a girl in the evening. Day 936: I had English classes and a social evening. Day 937: I had English classes, went to the gym, worked a bit on a school project and had a relaxed day. Day 938: Today - TBA. --- I have not been writing much here. Mostly because things are going fine as they are. I'm quite enjoying the presence of multiple people in my life currently, both men and women and both new and old. The uni's been fine as well as English teaching. Gonna work on the monthly report soon too.

Welcome to the forums!

I see, I think we all have issues with that from time to time. Then again, I think it's important to take the chill pill sometimes and not sweat things too much. I can't imagine a single area in which my life couldn't be better, but I feel fine with most of them as they are. I'll focus on them once I feel they are becoming more change-relevant. I actually enjoy doing household chores, such as washing the dishes or doing the laundry. The occasional gym is also good. Cleaning I'll live with, haha. It's funny, but in a way I believe everything I do needs to be done anyway! I think that's why I made the "future direction" section in my monthly report. I can track how my goals evolve in all the relevant categories and also to give me ideas where to start at some point in the future.

Severe addictions very often have this life/death quality. A friend of my father once threw out his 25 year-old son on the street, because he wasn't doing anything else besides gaming and eating. His son got his stuff together, got a job and a place to live, but there was no guarantee that he would not just become a homeless junkie. As @BooksandTreeshas pointed out above, what you need to figure out is why your son attempted suicide and help him work on these areas. Excessive gaming is a symptom, not the root issue. I don't think it's cynical. I think it's true. If the "screen" is his preferred activity, it doesn't mean he can't do other things. Plus "screen" doesn't necessarily equal "gaming". He can do other things on the computer too. In my case, while I was gaming, I learnt English on such a level that it led me to start teaching English. I tried to make the most out of a bad situation and two and a half years later, I can surely say I am in a better place.

Day 924: I worked on a uni project, went for a walk, prepared for my English classes, watched "The Wire", cleaned my room, washed the dishes and went out in the evening. Day 925: I prepared for my English classes, visited my family, changed the tires on my car, got a haircut and watched "The Wire". Day 926: I had English classes, uni classes, went to the gym and went outside with a girl in the evening. Day 927: I had English classes, a uni class, did the laundry, went for a walk and had a social evening. Day 928: I had English classes and a social evening. Day 929 - Day 932: I went for a trip to Bohemia with people from the geography group.

Day 918: I worked on a school project, visited my family, did a few chess puzzles and played billiard in the evening. Day 919: I had English classes, uni classes, worked out at the gym and had a social evening. Day 920: I had English classes, had a geography group meeting and had a social evening. Day 921: I had English classes, wrote here, went for a walk and had a social evening. Day 922: I had English classes, wrote friends, had a nap, played football, relaxed and watched "The Wire" in the evening. Day 923: I had English classes, wrote friends, went to the gym, did some paperwork and watched "The Wire". I'm gonna have a relaxed evening. --- My friend invited a lot of new people to the billiard and the evening was quite interesting. I've been playing quite a bit of table football recently and I can say I'm quite okay at it now. I could've gone out with friends on Thursday (yesterday) as well, however I decided to not push myself, as I was tired from all the previous days I've been out.

What's your relationship with "work"? Do you find it in some way inferior to the other parts of your life?

I think there are some hobbies that can make me thrilled while I do them, e.g. paintball/shooting, paragliding, even dancing in some cases. Life is both about being in the moment and doing something for the future. I think a lot of the people today do not understand/appreciate the fact that they need to follow some rules to be free. I don't think that these rules are something necessarily unnatural or inhumane. It makes sense that once I make money through work, then I can use my non-work time for relaxation or other hobbies. While this makes working a necessity (for most people anyway), it doesn't mean they have to be in a job that they hate/dislike and run it counter to their hobbies which they enjoy. I don't hate eating what I eat, so it makes sense I don't hate working my job. Moreover, the fact I choose to spend my time makes my hobbies and work equally important for my life. I see. I believe I could have good sex and a relationship with a lot of women. I don't think I've ever wanted to have sex with more women while I already had a relationship with sex. I could appreciate that the other girl was beautiful and that I even had some ideas about her in the past, but my curiosity in other women just sharply declined once I was "with" one. Regarding listening to people: listen to yourself and do yourself. Even if you do something idiotic, at least it was your idea and you can learn from it directly. If somebody else tells you something that is fucked up, the lesson you learn is to listen to and believe yourself more anyway.

I think the main idea is that the society is already well-off enough so that a lot of the people do not experience "physical stress/survival" situations unless they absolutely want to, but I think on the whole the humanity is becoming more complacent and fragile. There's still plenty of "psychological stress/survival" situations around and I think there will always be though.

I agree with you. Myself, I begin to trust people when I know that I can rely on them that it usually takes some time, but after that I believe that there are few people that I would do anything for. Haha, I'm happy you took some time to go through my posts! 🙂

Good job! Try it, if you know them in person. I'd argue I just use the social hobby in order to connect with the other person, because overall I think the "factual" things like sharing hobbies are not that important for a meaningful relationship. I think being able to relate to and sympathizing with other people on a mental level is far more conductive (talking about opinions, experiences, feelings) for creation of such relationships.

I watched a video about the components of happiness (in a video about personal finance, strangely enough) and it's probably why Frankl was able to get by the horrors of concentration camps. Feeling in control of our lives by choosing our responses is way more important than the place or stage we are in.

Day 916: I had English classes, researched the Erasmus+ project, rode the bike a bit, wrote my friends, washed the laundry and watched "Lord of War". Day 917: I read some uni papers, worked on a uni project, did a bit of chess, watched some videos about WWII, washed the dishes, read a bit about personal finance, read some of my old texts/notes and started watching "The Wire". --- This is a rare post, as I stumbled upon here after a slow, yet restorative day. I am somewhat physically limited at the moment, as I can feel some pain in my throat, so I didn't even go outside, to the gym or to plant trees at an uni event (which was the original plan for today) and stayed put the whole day. Having this unusually slow day, I decided I'd look after my shelved texts, hobbies and projects which sparked some ideas in my head and was fun as well. I ordered a book I had a good laugh reading over five years ago. I re-watched a video about the relationship money and time have in our lives. I also realized that I have a lot of work to do with my English-teaching business, university, family, dating... but today, I decided to relax, to appreciate the progress and to be grateful for all the progress I've made.

It's an interesting concept to cross-quote myself from a different topic. Some ideas: A thought based on 1): Nobody really cares how many times I lose before I win. Except for me. 2) is a reminder for me to think about this text the next time I'm doing a monthly report.

Day 909: I prepared for my English classes, had a light workout, had a nap, worked on uni assignments, watched a few videos about nuclear energy and environmental sustainability, wrote here and went for a drink and a dance in the evening. Day 910: I worked on uni assignments, visited my family and worked out in the evening. Day 911: I had uni classes and English classes and a social evening. Day 912: I worked out, uni classes, English classes, watched a talk with Sowell about the philosophy of economics, washed the dishes and had a social evening. Day 913: I had English classes, went for a walk, did some shopping and had sushi with my brother. Day 914: I had English classes, watched another talk with Sowell, inflated my bike and went to an English speaking event in the evening. Day 915: Today - TBA. --- I'm in favor of nuclear energy, because it produces only a handful of waste that has to be safely stored. Compared to coal plants that just put the pollution into the air and take a heavy toll in strokes, respiratory illnesses and other diseases. Even the most advanced countries in the world are not able to go full renewable at this point and some are even closing down nuclear reactors to replace them with coal plants (Germany). Insanity. I'm gonna get a passport. If I had a passport, I could've gone to an EU paid trip to Turkey on Sunday for a week with focus on online English teaching. I got to know that yesterday evening. Crazy.

There have been times where I played less and when I was disgusted by gaming and where I felt it's not sustainable and was on and off about gaming. However it's not documented here, because I just haven't relapsed since I started writing the diary here. I honestly feel like my life got a lot better since I stopped gaming and I live by that. I really got 8 hours of free time back on weekdays and 14 hours of free time on weekends. I tried to cut an hour or two from gaming before to study, exercise, do whatever, but it hasn't worked for me and I had to stop completely. There are days where I feel like doing nothing or when I have too much free time, but then I just decide to sleep, go for a walk, have a shower, watch some lecture on YT or do some household chores. I've honestly never felt stressed out by life's events to get me back to gaming and I don't feel a pull to make it a hobby. I also thought gaming was really the thing that kept me from more valuable things - success at work, at the university, in relationships. I actually broke up with my X a month before I quit gaming. I thought very heavily about that. I felt like I had nothing but gaming when I quit gaming. It's like when people quit smoking, because they got a heart attack, but they wouldn't do that before it happened. I think that if you can half-ass gaming while still having decently healthy relationships/work/hobbies, then you are going to do that. Can you get your family/friends to support you with their care and maybe create some rewards for you if you stay away from gaming?

Day 900: I had English classes, went to the gym, went for a walk, went to an art exhibit where my mom had her paintings and attended the English event in the evening for a while. Day 901: I had English classes, went to my car mechanic, worked on a school project and went out with a girl I've met recently. Day 902: I cleaned my room, washed the dishes, visited my family and met up with my high-school classmates in the evening. Day 903: I had a solo English class, worked on my monthly report, worked out at the gym and played billiard in the evening. Day 904: I had English classes, had uni classes, read something about WWII, had a social evening and did some uni reading before sleep. Day 905: I had English classes, uni classes and a social evening. Day 906: I had English classes, watched a talk by Milton Friedman and wrote here/worked on my monthly report. Day 907: I had English classes, collected wood for a BBQ, finished my monthly report, watched a talk by Thomas Sowell and had a social evening. Day 908: I had English classes and went to the BBQ. Day 909: Today - TBA.

Thanks. The swimming pool is not too far from where I live and I've gone swimming before from time to time on my own, but at this point it's easier for me to jump into the gym without any travel time than to go through the hassle of walking/driving/cycling to the swimming pool and making my schedule to work with it. I'm gonna go for a walk/workout today, I went to the gym on Thursday but only for a while.

I'm using the template I used the last time. 10/09/21 - 14/10/21 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. --- Active writing (blog/writings/journal): L: I wrote here, though I didn't work on my blog post. I have been encouraged by multiple to write more though and I do like the way I put sentences together, either in text or in speech - it is an art! T: I've been writing to one friend, exchanging a lot of ideas together, however I don't think there's any novel thought in that I could extrapolate from and write here. No progress on my blog. Future goals/direction: Finish Past Authoring and the whole course. Write on my blog. Keep writing in my diary here twice a week. Work on "Breaking Free Exercises" from the NMMNG book. Books/Reading articles: L: I read "The Little Book of Common Sense Investing" by Bogle (personal finance) and caught up on newsletters too. T: I read a part of Solzhenitsyn's "Gulag Archipelago" I wanted to read for a while. Other than that, just the newsletters. Future goals/direction: Continue getting through the newsletters. Family: L: My mom's been on a long-term sick leave for almost a year now. She's gonna be in the hospital for the next three weeks to see if she improves there. Tomorrow, I am meeting my father for lunch and with my brother for sushi dinner. I'm happy they are both willing to help me when I need their help and in turn they can count on me. T: I've noticed that my mom is making effort to get closer to me, however I feel fairly indifferent towards her. I am not sure whether I feel that way because my brother and I learnt as kids to get by without her support to a large extent or whether it's just too early for me to buy into that she's making a turn to become more family-oriented, but I just don't seem to care so far. Future goals/direction: Continue working on bettering the relationships with my family. University: L: The university should start in a week. The dorm is getting busier, as some foreign exchange and even home students have already arrived. T: The uni situation is a lot more interesting now! More things to do, assignments to finish... Some of the classes are fairly interesting and entertaining, the other ones are the same tedium as they've always been. Future goals/direction: Find more sources for my upcoming masters' thesis. Work on the assignments in a timely manner. Exercise/movement: L: The gym was closed since the end of July until this Monday, meaning I only made it there today. I went to the jiu-jitsu classes in August, but I can't make it work with my work schedule too well. I walked quite a lot - the city center is about two kilometers and I am there every other day. I have been thinking about picking up evening Krav Maga courses to have more regular martial art exercise. T: I usually make it to gym at least twice a week, on top of cycling a bit if I have in-person classes and the odd walk if I have more free time. I still feel the back from time to time from sitting too much due to work though. Future goals/direction: Martial art research. Keep in shape. English: L: I'm positive I'm gonna be able to have above 25 hours of classes every week, that is if they do not collide with my university duties. I sent out the mails and the past two weeks have been fairly hectic in communication. T: I am currently working with 20-25 hours of English per week and I'm not interested in taking up more courses, because I wouldn't have the time for them anyway. I'm also meeting my English teacher/friend every Tuesday in the class, so it's perfect to have the inspiration at hand. Future goals/direction: Look into strategies in becoming truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. I am going to pursue closer co-operation with my English mentor. I am going to check out a few more seminars on how to run online courses. Women/dating: L: T: I'm fairly positive I am making progress in this area. It's really only about having the guts to say hi and then making the ask to meet. It needs to become the routine, if I want to have some control over this aspect of my life. The end-result doesn't actually matter. And I'm aware I will make mistakes, get myself in stupid situations, get used and whatnot, but it's all in the game. I'm fairly adamant and determined in this. I've done a lot of scouting recently, so I got some "hard data" on a few girls I was interested in. Future goals/direction: Set up at least two dates a month. Men: T: I got rid of the "Social" part of the report and rather added this section on how I relate to men. This is likely to take more time and introspection however. A few guys and I formed a gym group, for which I am fairly happy and they're a good bunch to talk to, joke around and hang out with. Future goals/direction: - ----- Additional thoughts: - ----- SECTION REMOVED - to make the report less cluttered and easier to read.

It's quite an interesting idea. I do not think success itself is the driver most people follow. I think most people want to avoid feeling bad, so they are loss-averse by nature. I don't think I've ever met anyone who likes to lose, make mistakes etc. I think what happens with us in games overall is this: There is a way to eliminate failure. Some games allow for that, others do not. I can't possibly "permanently lose" e.g. a Pokémon Crystal game - if I get beat, I lose some money, but my Pokémons are still the same, nobody takes them away from me and I can always go back to the start and beat level 2 Caterpies and ask for pocket money from your in-game mom. It was more difficult with games like XCOM or FTL, because there was a chance I just lost no matter what I did and because they are RNG games to a great degree, but most of the time my decisions mattered and I could influence the fate of the game-play. The same goes towards online games like HS too - sometimes my opponent got the perfect cards and I lost. And all of the above, I can track pretty well, either through in-game statistics or through spreadsheets, the options are endless. The idea that games provide "constant measurable progress" is in some of Cam's GQ videos. Mind you that too much success (and no challenge) leads to complacency, rigidity and ultimately downfall. There's no growth without pressure. The issue with real life is that it can't be put into numbers very easily. --- To put a real example here, I'm currently making an effort to find dates and a girlfriend. I met a girl last Monday, had a good chat with her for a while, wrote her to meet up and she agreed. Five minutes into the second meeting, I found out she had a boyfriend, yet I didn't just turn around on my heel, as I promised her a walk around the city she doesn't know. I spent some two hours with her, had a good conversation with her, found out she's a good speaker and discussed some views on philosophy and politics. The advice I could take from this regarding my dating life: Be more aware of social situations when I am first interacting with a girl I like and be better at scouting to find out whether she's already seriously dating someone or not. Then again, I got something I wasn't expecting but is valuable as well: thinking about reconsidering some of my life views through a good debate. All in all, it's impossible to answer the question: Was it a success or a failure? Well, It depends on how I choose to look at it.