Ikar

26th May - 2nd June: I actually did have time to watch the rest of the hockey championship and the results were quite surprising! Regardless, many hours of this week were spent preparing for and moving to my new room/flat. I'm happy to say that even though there are still a few things lying about on the floor, most of the work has been already done. I've been meeting my girlfriend and two best friends frequently, if not every day. I also spent some time with other people as well and I can say I've been enjoying it. I met my father today for lunch too. The last thing to mention is the last round of my business mentoring. I got a lot of ideas for my English business. My plan for the weekend is to handle the invoices and finish work on my questionnaire for students.

What a great post. Congratulations!

Hi, I am happy my post encouraged you! I'm sure you can improve your life in the same passion as I did 🙂

First off, those were some very sound and detailed writings by @DanielG and @jailbreaker. , I went through it myself and here's my take: I took the liberty and quoted both of these occasions. I remembered the saying that if you can only see and meet your friends when you drink, then you don't have friends, you have an alcohol problem. It doesn't seem to me you meet either group too often, but I'm putting it here for future reference. I don't have the full context, but I'd really stay away from people who drink often and too much. Let alone use harder drugs on a regular basis. I can't begin to count how many times excessive alcohol got me into weird situations, such as yours, mainly with women. Definitely more than I can count with my hands. Based on these, I started taking everything that happens under the influence of more than two beers/three shots with a heavy grain of salt. The main idea here is not whether he is a predatory piece of shit rapist or whether she is a lying manipulative bitch (who may be using your sexual attraction to her for her own ends to get back at the hypothetical rapist for whatever reason). Unless you literally have a tape of the rape happening (and perhaps even of the prior context between them), you know nothing and there's little point in getting involved. The main idea is to meet people who can have meaningful interactions together while sober. Saves a lot of drama. My friends and girlfriends got a lot better once I started meeting them outside wild drinkfests. If the hypothetical victim is your close friend, then you have to wonder who makes friends with the type of person she is. Maybe there could be something to learn from your relationship with her and also the relationship she has with the hypothetical rapist. I don't think you are losing respect, it just shows you have some critical thinking and are willing to use it, so that's good 😄 But overall, if you say you have no social life, spend a lot time writing here and Cam tells you to spend less time on the internet, I think he has a point 😛

18th May - 25th May: I've been watching the hockey championship for the past two weeks. You might know that there are just a few matches remaining in the play-off. I've been watching it fairly actively and it's really the only time when I care about watching sports. I realized it's just too much passive entertainment for me, really the same as with watching a film every day, binging series or something similar. Anyhow, I'm not gonna have the time to watch the final matches at the weekend 🙂 Besides the kitchen for my grandma, I got working on getting the air tickets claim from February. The rest of the things have been going as usual, so I'm happy 🙂

All the best in your new venture! I hope it goes well for you, as it has gone for me 😄

I feel you. It's a bore to read a book that is not interesting. I haven't read seriously for about two months, just because the book I borrowed isn't all that entertaining. I need to pick up a new one from the library.

There is some mechanism that keeps the text in the cache of your browser if you go to another page or close the window, but it's not always 100% reliable.

Thanks! I wish the same to you 🙂

14th May - 17th May: I visited my family on Sunday and went to a concert with my grandma, which was actually surprisingly good. Also watched hockey in the evening. Had my last exam on Monday, spent some time with my girlfriend, researched some stuff about kitchen design for my grandma, had mentoring and a few lessons as well. I'm happy that business mentoring is back on track, as I have many new useful insights and I'm going to work on them at the weekend. Baked a chicken on Tuesday, had more classes too, met with some friends in the evening. Today I put in the hours as well, although I had a nap in the afternoon, as I have been feeling tired during the day. I'm wondering what to do now, I'll likely watch a movie to zone out and relax, as I haven't been feeling the best.

Oh, I wouldn't dare to call myself a "veteran", as I wasn't on any tour outside. I was at the army university for a year, half a year as a radio operator and half a year in transition/training. I quit because I was pissed off that I saw no way of getting past the army bureaucracy to relocate somewhere to do something useful with my English, although I was surely more of an idiot five years ago 😄 Agreed on the structure, I have to have good organization skills in my line of work dealing with 20+ students weekly. I got a gun license three years back. I'm planning to go to the shooting range again soon with some friends, one of whom is a former Royal Marine I believe. I'm still using a bunch of my army clothing for leisure/around the house activities, as it's comfortable and because I like to reuse things 😄

@BooksandTrees put it eloquently. Better than I would. I believe he's speaking from his own experience. You don't want to replace an addiction by another addiction. Well said. Where did you serve? How was it? I'm curious, because I also served, although in Czechia 😄

I think it's good that you decided to try something else. Myself, I can't really imagine being a normal employee at this point. But maybe I will be one again 🙂 For sure, the EU system of universities is very interconnected and if you decide to pursue a second master's or PhD, all the power to you! 🙂 I think for me the idea of playing games comes to my mind about less than once a month, but it's always at the time when I'm in the middle of doing something else, so I don't even have time to think about it. I only postpone things if I start to believe they are overwhelming, as @BooksandTrees pointed out via the video above. Only two things I am maybe not completely happy with my progress, and feel somewhat overwhelmed, are my grandma's kitchen and writing a claim to airlines about compensation for a canceled flight. Neither of those are crucial though. If my schedule is really tight, I don't have time to think about replacement activities in the first place! 😄 I get bored sometimes, but it's normally for an hour or two at maximum. My replacement activity at this point isn't gaming, but things like catching up with mails, chats, washing the dishes, cleaning, showering, catching up with some YT channels, bookmarks... At this point, I get back on track automatically without much delay.

As a side note to my previous point, my bachelor studies were special in the way that our class only met once a week. All of the people were basically 30+ who overall had better motivation to study than 19+ students. They already had jobs, kids and better time management. Even though we met once a week, we got together a few times outside of class and stayed in touch. That experience only underlines the fact that uni is not solely about grades. I understand your parents' perspective. You'll be "their kid" as long as you are around them daily and/or they provide you with a substantial amount of funds. And as long as you're "their kid", they will never fully respect your decisions and they will think they know better than you. I believe one of the best things I've ever done was to move out of my parents' house. I'd say that if you find something interesting and enjoyable, you can go for it in your free time. I'm extending my uni studies by half a year too, so my idea is that you could perhaps do the same to alleviate some of the stress, granted you trust yourself that you are able to finish the degree at a later date? Thanks for the praise! 🙂

I'm using the template I used the last time. 15/04/23 - 13/05/23 "L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term. I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period. First off, I've been looking forward to writing this and having the time to do so. I like this habit of mine 🙂 --- Books/Reading articles: L: Currently reading Idiot by Dostoevsky, although not very regularly. T: No, I'm just not interested in that book, will need to pick up something else. I read a few newsletters. Possible direction/goals: Continue getting through the newsletters. (Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report. Family: L: I've been spending more time with my family than planned this month. I'm one step behind on the kitchen plan, however I will make some progress on it over the weekend and ask my father about some technical details of the purchase. T: Oops. I'm still somehow puzzled how it's week 19 and I'm 6 weeks behind the plan below. Anyhow, my father advised me to not go alone, as there'll be a lot of furniture to pack and I will need his trailer. I'm gonna set it up tomorrow, so the furniture is at my grandma's place by the end of May. NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family. Possible direction/goals: Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma. Continue working on bettering the relationships with my family. University: L: The university has been taking up around 13 hours a week in total as I predicted. The trip was nice and the projects are still ongoing. T: I have one more exam to go and then it's just the thesis and finals. As planned. NOT: I don't want to drop out of the university. Possible direction/goals: Do the main part of my diploma in summer/autumn 2023 and do the defense and finals in January/February 2024. Work on the assignments in a timely manner. Job/English: L: I went to the career festival. I didn't really get any deals done which was the primary point of my visit, however I think it was still a good idea to go, meet some friends and acquaint with others. I started a new mentoring program yesterday, so I am pretty excited. I hope to get some good ideas for my business and make new connections. T: Unfortunately, my mentor had some time troubles, so I've only met him twice so far, although we are meeting on Monday. I've been on the tasks and exercises he gave me at least. - Classes are at a stable 25-30 hours a week, plus a few hours for admin work. An example for 29 hours next week: Category A 59% (53); B 9% (9); C 5% (7); D 12% (10); E 16% (19). Brackets are % values from previous month. - I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses: a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group) c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day) d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality - NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid. Possible direction/goals: With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly. Keep classes at a stable 25-30 hours a week. Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students. Write down specific areas and what I want to do in them: Networking events. Work on the new mentoring project. Variable pricing. Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. Get a system to mark down the progress of my students, together with their learning plan. Past projects: Update my website to reflect the new ideas and inspiration from the web. Get a customized redesign and SEO for the website. Networking events. = Attended the networking event on 5th April. Work on Linked In - use the notes from seminar. Exercise/Movement: L: We've been going for walks with my girlfriend fairly often. Went for a bike trip with my girlfriend. T: Went for a bike trip with my girlfriend again. Bike and walks. NOT: I don't want to become fat. Possible direction/goals: I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change. Keep in shape. Women/Dating: L: T: My girlfriend moved to a location closer to me two months ago and we've been seeing more regularly. I'm happy and grateful for having such a loving girlfriend. Possible direction/goals: Set up at least two dates a month (with my girlfriend). ----- What to do if I am bored? Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, uni work, blogging ----- Additional thoughts/activities: My hobbies are: personal finance, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography. This month, I did these cool activities: business mentoring, reading about finance, spending time with friends and my girlfriend, going to the theatre, kitchen planning for my grandma, watching a series about people in debt and their solutions, blogging (!), winning a table football tournament, going for a weekend with my girlfriend. --- Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2023: Pass all the exams at the uni, finish the thesis and finish all university duties successfully in January/February 2024. - WIP, progress = yes Improve my business, so that I don't need to teach for language schools anymore, by getting more private contacts, opportunities and students. - WIP, progress = yes Go to Georgia to visit my friend. - Unfortunately, the plan didn't work out. I plan to go there later this year, either in late summer or autumn. Stop watching porn (again). - I am not porn-free, it comes in waves. I'll try to be more aware when the urges come and what makes me more likely to have them. This month (March) I had a good run without porn and too much news 🙂 Start getting up when my alarm rings. - I got better, not 100%, but better. Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, studying for uni, dating, work on good life/work balance. It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy. --- Add-ons: I enjoy writing articles, however I am not enjoying the process of how to actually set up the blog, whether I should try and make some money off of it. I think I will, but I won't go on writing e-books, providing courses and whatnot. Just a few affiliate links for the services I like. This allows me to focus on writing and not fret over something I don't even know I want to do. I found out I quite like to give presentations, if I really believe and enjoy the topic. This goes for both my school and business presentations. Better keep that in mind.

8th May - 13th May: Spent some time with friends, my girlfriend and in general just being busy with work and school. Went for a lunch with my father, to the theater and set up a new room to rent from June! It's been about time to leave the dorms after three and a half years. --- From Mark Manson's weekly email: I think I have been fairly good at prioritizing my own interests, while giving others my time and attention as well. I do things that matter to me and don't do things that don't matter to me. I still put it here because I think he put it eloquently.

Ah, I see what you mean and I understand the comparison. Technically every profession has this dilemma: I could be teaching English to the Russians, Chinese or Iranians and therefore support regimes that hurt, oppress and curb people's lives and indirectly help the economies of these states. I come from a country where we don't have fond memories of the USSR/Russia.

Haha, no, I just made the topic up, but there might be some similar thread. You're right, it is motivating. To discuss these questions in the journals themselves however requires someone already following the journal. Some ongoing journals are quite long too and for most users it's easier to find a separate topic on some issue than to go to page 21 of journal XYZ where the topic was discussed. I haven't seen the video, however based on the comments, I assume he took some information to create a motivational/inspirational video and presented some of the information with limited context. I believe Cam's still in alignment with his mission to help gaming addicts. That said, there are more business models on how to do that and your target audience/customers change, as there are subsets of gaming addicts. I'm gonna illustrate that on my "English teacher" business. My target is not merely "someone who wants to learn English", but someone more specific: My current business model is 1-1 or 1-2 English online or F2F English lessons for people 18+, usually between 45-90 minutes, any time between 7-22 except weekends. People pay me for that. I could create an English learning app, make money off of subscriptions. I could have an Instagram account and post videos, make money off of ads and promo items. I could teach kids. I could specialize on people who want to advance their careers or I could specialize in legal English... you get the picture. Maybe it will not work out for him, but I think he's doing the best he can to reach his target audience. Maybe he left out the context intentionally, but maybe he didn't and make a mistake in the concept of the video. Either way, don't take it personally. If you have a true problem with addiction, it's much more important for you yourself to handle it than it is for him 🙂 (And no, I don't get money for being a mod, just in case you were wondering 😄 )

Why do you feel like you need to fake having your shit together? What would help you soothe that feeling? This particular sentence is somewhat similar to what my girlfriend sometimes says. I'm always astounded when she does and the fact she doubts herself to this extent.

I'm currently going through the uni myself and I can say the reasons why I was/am there changed over time. Back in 2016-2018, I just viewed it as something I should do and I think that's also why I dropped out of one. A big factor was that basically all of my immediate family has a university title, though a bit of that still remains there until today. After I quit games in 2019, it was a good way to fill time and I learnt some time-management skills in general. I finished bachelor in 2021. Before starting my master, I knew it was a calculated risk, as I knew I could have a well-paid full time job if I wanted to back in 2021. But it still made economical and social sense for me to go to master. I've managed my study responsibilities fairly easily in the past two years and all I need to do now is to write the thesis and do final exams in January. Therefore, I believe it's natural that one thing leads to another and that reasons and motivations change over time. I'm sure you'll adapt and continue without many problems even after some of your teammates leave. I think the mindset of "forever" job is there because kids, teenagers and young adults don't really have much agency to make their own choices, because their parents or school didn't teach them that. It's always "You have to go to elementary school." "You have to go to high school." etc. and it's hard to break the cycle. 100% on not committing too early and exploring different options. It takes time and some trial-and-error to make quality decisions. Having good grades at the university is akin to kissing a girlfriend in a relationship. Is it important? Yes. Is it all there is to it? No. Extracurriculars give you nice hobbies, contacts, options for friendships, jobs and other things that can be useful later in life. Very few people actually care about excellent grades themselves after uni, as long as you have the title. Grades are really mostly a substitute for specific successes with specific rewards in real life. I hope the post was useful to you in some way 🙂

Ah, I see now how you understood my message! No, I didn't imply that your advice is less valid than mine or anyone else's. I meant my post in the way @Zoe described. I'm sometimes known for being blunt and cumbersome in my communication, but I hope I understood you correctly and that the message is clear now 🙂 As a side note; I think the situation is different for threads that are meant as a discussion, e.g. somebody makes a thread "What to do with all the free time after I have quit gaming?" That kind of thread can remain relevant forever. Journals normally don't though, as they live and die with the activity of the author.

Over the years, I have followed many journals and I believe Books has followed even more. I think Cam's idea of following three journals is sound to create some self-sustaining ecosystem, but only if they are active journals. I'd consider someone "active" if they have been here in the past month (that'd be me 🙂 ) or have a history of periodically returning over longer time periods (that'd be Books). The matter of fact is that 98% of people stop writing here because they relapse, quit games using a different technique or just aren't interested in journaling. I am here because I am interested in journaling. Sometimes I get a comment and the UI is convenient, so I keep on doing it here at GQ. A thread on Reddit might be faster, but I'd argue the conversation would be more superficial than here. It's all about your preference. I agree, it's important to do what works for you. I normally about five posts a month on current events and then a monthly report with the areas of my life. It helps me track the progress, devise ways to improve and appreciate the journey in the long run. Yeah, it takes time to create posts like these. I started reading related comments, thinking, writing and an has hour passed and I haven't even seen anything older than the 5th May post by @LordFederickRamsay. Don't spend this amount of energy on a journal of a guy who left the forum two years ago, have mercy with yourself. --- @Zoe What a cute cat! 😄 I'd recommend not editing older posts, unless you think it's impossible to share the information anymore. It makes it easier to follow the journal for others, as nobody will go through older posts just to see if you changed something, nor there are any obvious notifications in case you do. Journal soon! 🙂

There are always a few things to improve, but overall I've been feeling great. I'm quite excited about what the future holds, but I am also happy with what I already have, just glancing through my recent monthly reports. I hope you've been experiencing the same!

3rd May - 7th May: Worked on business mentoring, had my last university class and did some minor stuff. Went for a weekend with my girlfriend to the nature and to a different town. Had a good time overall and I'm happy and grateful 🙂

I feel you. I remember the immediate fallout of games even after quitting. About a week after quitting, I got fired from my post office job. It was just unavoidable and even though I didn't care about it much, it wasn't encouraging. Some stuff will just drag on regardless of what you do now. As for porn, I feel better the last few weeks or months as well, basically since I got my girlfriend. I watch it a few times a month too. I'd say I am curious about it rather than addicted to it at this point.