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About Recovering

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  1. Hello Cam, Hello everyone, Last week I went on a full binge playing video games and watching YouTube for more than 8 hours a day. I like strategy games and playing strategy games helps me to escape from reality. I'm average in school and I don't really know what to do with my life. I'm not very motivated neither. I feel like my parents are disappointed even though they didn't tell me how they feel. They know I have greatness within me, that I can do great things. I also know that I can do great things but I feel like I'm not feeling confortable with my current situation in school. I like History and Geography tho and it seems that my Geography teacher has ambition for me. I don't know why but I'm a very anxious and stressed person.. especially about the future. I don't know what is made of. I can't control it, everything could happend. Will I found the one? Will I get a decent job ? Will I feel happy and proud ? I lack self-confidence and self-esteem too, feeling like something is wrong with me, that I'm an anomaly, that something is missing. I'm 20 years old and I never have a girlfriend before whereas all my friends do. It reinforces this idea that I basically suck IRL. "There's no other way, right ? Since they do have one and you don't that means that something is wrong, that you suck, you stink, you're bad." Meh... A part of me know it's wrong because I know plenty of people don't have one... but this is how I think. That's weird right ? Have you guys ever believe that your mind voluntary wants to destroy you, to take you down ? I call it tyranny of my own mind. So...Yeah... Being in a world where you can control every piece of units and buildings, where you can win, where you can destroy your ennemy, where people tend to tell you what went wrong, where you see guarantee progress help to deal with frustration.
  2. I know your feel. In society you are busy, you don't think that much about gaming because you have things to do. During the holidays you "disconnect" yourself from society, kinda, so relapses happend, you start gaming a lot because Why not ? I'm alone and I have nothing else to do. That's the problem. When in holidays you need to stay "connected" with the society which means that you have to do stuffs outside. Plan something with your friends, meet people, see your family, do sports, go the cinema, visit. You have to go outside as much as possible ! Careful about your brain tho. Because your brain believes that beeing in holiday = no connection from society = loneliness and boredom = gaming you have to reprogram it and the only way to do it is to actually doing it.
  3. Phillip K Dick - Ubik. One of his best book I have read so far. For all fans of Science Fictions I recommend it. Phill has been recognized for developing his own style.
  4. Dear Diary, Today was an okay-ish day. I was just a bit stressed. I keep fantasizing about video games but I'm fine. I'm going to study and I'll prob read a book after that.
  5. Dear diary, Today has been a depressing day. I have totally failed my exam. I'm screwed but I didn't relapse even though I had some craving. No video games, no YouTube. I have studied a bit and I'm going to read a book. Day 4 is almost finished.
  6. Hey everyone, I'm here to introduce myself. It's been quite a long time since video games have progressively destroyed my life and they still do. I'm 19 and sadly I don't have motivation instead of playing these games. I have become passive. I just want to play, play, play. I have no goal, no ambition in life. I'm still studying but I don't know what I really want to do. I used to do so much stuff like jogging, going outside, studying but now the only thing that matters is my screen. I know my obsession with video games is dangerous but the only thing my brain can do is playing these games. My sleep schedule have become unstable. I think I play games in order to espace reality. Because I don't have what I want in life and because I suck in life video game is an escape where I can feel some relief. I know I'm responsible for this, that's why I'm here to retake control of my life. Thanks everyone for reading ! I hope I will find all the support needed. Have a nice day