conorshand

Day Two Nothing spectacularly to report, but have gotten a bunch of things on the to do list done which is fantastic, including; Conversations with recruiters regarding jobs. Woke up earlier than yesterday. Got life admin bits done. Went to the gym. Not unhappy, 0 video gaming and spent less time on phone etc. Gratitude journal Grateful for family support network, GQ as a resource and Cam's work, and fact that getting back on the rails seems fairly tangibly possible. One amazing thing that happened/I did today Spoke with Cam and booked in psych, first lot of progress towards long term fixes rather than band aids fixes Workout/run - Back and arms day Meditation Didn't try it yesterday, now on the cards today (have put on to do list) Visualisation I still need to figure out what this means. Daily affirmation One day at a time g Reading + taking notes Screens remain banned, reviewing Respawn and Challenge books now, then got a couple of relaxing ones on standby Getting to bed before 9pm Woke up at 1pm instead of 4pm so we'll call it progress. Up at 10am tomorrow though ✨ Weekly Goal(s) Get a schedule back up and running and follow it daily. Prioritize. No video games whatsover At least 20 total efforts towards employment Gym every day Monthly Goal New job 3 Month Goal Completely quit gaming Completely quit vaping 90kg @ gym Financially stable What went well today: I continued starting. What I could have done to make my day better: Started in the AM (dreams are possible) What I will do differently tomorrow: Set an alarm, with timers. No phone use in bed from waking, only reading or audiobook. Need to try this one again, did only spend 5 minutes on it though.

Day One It's funny coming back to my old, incomplete, Respawn journal from 2018. Reading the reasons as to why I play video games, and the reasons I want to quit, are jarringly similar to where I'm now at once again, but 5 years apart. The former being escapism, boredom, anxiety and depression, the latter to be dependable, to grow, to ultimately live. Five years later and I'm asking the same questions and giving myself the same answers. It makes me wonder, what if I'd stuck at it, completed the course, and somehow managed to shake the monkey brain motivation to watch level up after level up. Equally pertinent a point however is the fact that if the questions and answers in the Respawn journal are just the same now as they were then, that it is more evident than ever that I need to try this again, firmly, and stick to it. I have lost a great deal through my videogaming and lack of self-management, though equally accomplished a great deal in spite of it. Here's hoping with Round Two of Day 1 that I can fine tune the balance between the two to be a little more in my favour. Gratitude journal Ultimately I'm extremely lucky my friends and family have put up with me being a manchild for as long as I have. Or rather more generously for my lack of self-management and the extensive support I've been provided regardless. One amazing thing that happened/I did today My flatmate covered me for three weeks rent because my priorities are out of kilter. Workout/run - Chest day (every day) Meditation I'll try it? Visualisation I need to figure out what this means. Daily affirmation Can Reading + taking notes Just the Respawn and Challenge books tonight, then perhaps leisure reading in bed (screens are now banned) Getting to bed before 9pm Definitely not, woke up at 4pm. But will have a go. Weekly Goal(s) Get a schedule back up and running and follow it daily. Prioritize. No video games whatsover At least 20 total efforts towards employment Gym every day Monthly Goal New job 3 Month Goal Completely quit gaming Completely quit vaping 90kg @ gym Financially stable What went well today: I started. What I could have done to make my day better: Started before waking up at 4pm. What I will do differently tomorrow: Set an alarm, with timers. No phone use in bed from waking, only reading or audiobook.

Found this on another post, wanted to keep it as a mental note for tomorrow: A. Throw away gaming rig and all things game related. B. Discipline is the key. Discipline Equals Freedom. C. Make your bed daily, brush your teeth and wash your face, clean your room.(This little step is very crucial) D. Love yourself unconditionally E. Change environment. Put close things which stimulate you to change(text, pictures etc..). Start building your strong version.

Get that consistency going as soon as you can! If I could pick one missing characteristic that's shot me in the leg with journaling the most in it'd be my failing to be consistent. Super easy to leave to the next day and then it's been a week or a month and it becomes too easy to rationalize not doing it at all. Also slightly hypocritical for me to raise it being my first day on the forums, but it's what I've found with written journaling. Otherwise keep doing what you're doing, whether it's words or habits, it will add up to good things quickly if you keep doing it regularly!

Beat me to starting by two hours! Much of what you're going through sounds similar to what I am, and I'll be following along with your experience. Good luck dude ?

Day 1 (of tens or possibly hundreds of attempted Day 1's) and accompanying post-gym word vomit I've got "STOP BEING A FUCK" scrawled on my arms in vivid, having woken up at 8pm in the evening after another extended cycle of 16 hour binges with 8 hour interludes for sleep and eating. For the amount of times I've been back to Day 1 I might as well get those words tattooed on to save money on stationary. Though Day 1 is familiar territory, this is the first time I've tried the forum. I find reading other people's stories encouraging, no matter the differences in their circumstances or stage of self-improvement, and intend to engage with other people and be on here regularly. I've already got a written daily affirmations journal (which has a few cobwebs on it), but I'll also be implementing the GQ's program and am open to suggestions from repeat Day 1 offenders as to any helpful bits and pieces which they found success with. As is the case with any writing, the hardest part to this is starting. A similarity between this and the actual self-improvement I'm wanting to achieve, is that it's easiest to pack it in on the first sentence of the journal, or first hour of not gaming. Fortunately I'm not graded on this, so it will (at least in its early stages, which I'm hoping will be followed by later stages) likely resemble a word vomit of thoughts. Even if it's only me angrily bashing the keyboard and smearing asdfghjkl across the post, the key is that I hit the "submit topic" button once a day, and if I don't, that I forgive myself for failing. I have no idea whether this will become a tidy affirmations journal or a daily rant, but I do know I need to keep doing it. In the game of habit correction every little bit counts. This perfectionism is something I've struggled with historically as I imagine many other repeat visitors to Day 1 do - the all in mentality of having completely followed the program, or conversely throwing it in the bin as soon as I sleep in for an extra hour and reverting to . To borrow from Game of Thrones, I want need to break this behavioral wheel of initial success, slight and then total failure, and then waiting until the self-hatred and general unpleasantness of living the 16 hour binge life builds to the point warranting change. My thought process at this stage is usually the same, as it is now: I am in a place of considerable unpleasantness, what options do I have to change this Option A: commit Sudoku. Permanent but extreme solution. I'm also not allowed to do this, as my parents and I have agreed that I must talk with them first if I'm to consider this option. (Dead serious, we actually had this conversation.) If I'm not going to off myself, I might as well make some improvements From here it's been the usual routine of clean room, wake up earlier, gym and yoga until some hitch hits and the gaming and accompanying lifestyle bleed in little by little until I'm back to square one. I've been back to Day 1 more times than I could count in the last 6 months since finding the program, and it's been at least 5 years since I realized something needed to change. Same train departing the same station, but the difference between this and the first time I realized something needed changing is the knowledge of the various times I've tried with varying results to make such changes. The other difference is my signing on to the forum, which I'm hoping will keep the feeling of momentum going in making such changes and arresting the bad habits before they hit critical mass and the familiar trudge back to Day 1 mentality is needed. To try avert the pitfalls of the aforementioned perfectionism I'd been using a car analogy, "if the tyre is popped, you change the tyre, rather than throwing out the whole car." I think this applies on a daily basis, but in the big picture doesn't work to the organic long term nature of gaming and what I and many other people are trying to achieve on here. Gaming and the accompanying negative behaviors I'm trying to rid myself of are better described as a cancer (an unfortunate internet/gaming cliche I know). I might improve my sleep cycle, morning routine, exercise habits and a wealth of other things, but there was always be some part of my brain attempting to engineer the regrowth of old less desirable behaviors. You can't just cut out the behavior once and expect it to be permanently fixed. I need to accept this and keep checking in and cutting them out when those behaviors do reappear. Conversely, no matter how many times they do resurface it is essential that I work to cut them out as soon as possible. Little by little they all have some cost which everyone here is all too familiar with. The longer left in the higher this cost becomes. I've talked with Cam. I've read the all the GQ materials and various blog posts. I know this can work and I've seen other people's stories where it has. I also know I could find myself back here again. The important thing this time around is building on all the other times rather than walking right back down the all to familiar cycle I've run through far too often. It is my hope that through documenting this and also interacting with people's stories I'll go one or a hundred steps farther than what I have before. lessgo boiz Quick about me: 23, Uni Student, Hobbies incl: Guitar, DJing, Yoga, Daily Gym (need to do cardio though). Looking for (amongst other things): Experiential advice, book or material recommendations (will be downloading the 3 books fawn_xoxo recommended on another post), a general sense of purpose nb: list not exclusive. Goals for right now Decent nights sleep (it's 5am now so as decent as possible), no screen in bed, set alarm and wake up by 2pm (v ambitious). Goals for tomorrow Clean room, remake longer term goals and short term habits to achieve, post again, gym, don't game.