NEW VIDEO: Why You MUST Quit Gaming in 2025
BooksandTrees
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Posts posted by BooksandTrees
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5 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:
Aaaaand I'm out of the emotional swamp. ? I got a realistic perspective on how much I should expect from the time I put in the drawing and just all around adjusted my unrealistic expectations about it. I am starting to find some enjoyment in it too! I am still not 'there' when it comes to being able to focus as long as I imagine a person not addicted to the internet might be able to focus, but with every week that passes it seems I can stay on one task a little more and a little more. I am satisfied with these small gradual changes and progress!
I don't think we'll ever get 'there' but it's that journey we embark on to get 'there' that matters most to us. Each week might be different for us, but as long as we hold a few core values true to us along this journey then we'll be able to support ourselves and get through the tough times and revel in the great times. Keep up the good work.
Matt
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I also wanted to share a song that I find motivating due to all the layered thoughts and goals I have in life. This is a YouTube link for anyone curious or paranoid about viruses.
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2 hours ago, Peregrinator said:
Firstly well done on the move, I don't know if things feel unsettled now but they will calm down soon.
In regards to the gym, I always prefer to go after work, I find my motivation for physical exercise flags the second I get through the door.
In regards to the anxious feeling do you mean the feeling of switching gyms? I have been at the same gym for a while now and it's closer to work. I'm really fussy so when I find a gym I like I stay there come hell or high water.
I think the last part of your comment is really important, yes you do make a choice based on your esteem to be happy or sad but also give yourself a bit of that space. You have a lot going on, be kind to yourself.
I guess I don't even like the gym I go to. It's so small. The anxiety feeling associated with the gym is two fold. I want to get out of work and do something amazing immediately after work and have trouble taking a deep breath and just saying "Ok, work is over, now it's time to enjoy life a little." When I get to the gym, I hate my current one. I don't like the machines and don't like how it feels to be there. I get anxious because everyone I know keeps telling me different shit for gym advice. I think what I want to do is just go to a different gym down the street which offers more to me. I'd also like to go at lunch. I just get the feeling to leave the office during the day just out of frustration lol. But maybe after work is best because it lets me clear my mind of any bull shit from the day. I really miss working out because it made me feel so much happier and more confident in my looks and mentality.
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3 hours ago, info-gatherer said:
Interesting stuff there. Props for deciding to leave a house-sharing situation that was clearly not compatible with your new life priorities. You maybe won't be kept in touch, but you were correct, in my opinion, when you wrote that the reason is very sad.
On the other hand, I know how hard it is to (even mentally) get rid of people that you consider friends even if they are not the right people for you in a given moment of your life. And how hard it is to make new friendships & build solid relationships to turn strangers into friends. But I think you're moving in the right direction (haha you got the joke? haha "moving" haha ha) (sorry).
Lol thanks for the words. I agree. Giving up longtime friends is just another difficult thing we give up similar to gaming or another bad habit. I don't want to say bad friends or even good friends are bad habits, but when it's a negative impact in your life then it's not worth having around. I'm still meeting new people all of the time and starting to meet more people in real life who art oriented in helping me produce art content and stuff. I'm excited and confident. I have no worries about making new friends and will keep approaching it in a positive way.
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I think I'm really getting to the point where I'm disgusted by porn. Each time I watch it I enjoy the search, but feel empty and sick after. I then get depressed and lack any motivation to do anything. I'm thinking porn is making it easier to quit gaming because it gives greater rewards than gaming, but goes away faster as well. I think dopamine production increases as I search for things and get excited about the anticipation of finding something great, but I skip through the videos sometimes because I just want to see certain things that fulfill what I was looking for I guess. It's all stuff unrelated to sex as well. It's strange, but I'm learning a lot.
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31 minutes ago, Ironfly said:
It's Silencedmind. I changed it to something more recognizable.
Ah, ok. I see you now. We've definitely spoken on there then.
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24 minutes ago, fawn_xoxo said:
First of all, I am so happy to read pretty much everything you wrote in this thread! You are turning the page, you are making progress! It has been incredibly helpful to me to schedule my day and be accountable to myself, because even when I am procrastinating and being lazy, and I snooze my reminders for my planned activities, that behavior nags me. So I might not do what I should be doing at the time I had planned, I might move it to later, but I will do it! And I wasn't like that before! But moving on to something I want to comment on specifically:
It is imho of paramount importance to understand why we do some things, because if we do not have that knowledge then we are not as well equipped to deal with the problems that might arise when we try to change our behaviors. In example, if I do not have the awareness that I eat extra food because I am bored, simply saying I will quit will only work until my will power gets depleted, which only lasts like 3 days right? However when I have the knowledge of the reasons behind my behavior, then I can come up with a plan to deal with the underlying issues!
Thank you. I couldn't have done it without your incredible support and friendship. I look forward to making more progress and accept myself when I inevitably step backwards rather than lament myself and quit.
I agree. I just feel like if I get an urge to eat when I'm not hungry, or watch porn when I'm not sexually aroused, there's something going on that's causing me to want something I'm not doing. So if I'm equipped to handle those situations then I'll be able to combat those thoughts and move forward with my feelings. Sometimes I just want to give up or be sad because I'm unhappy, but if I start getting in the mindset that my free time is celebratory time for myself to live life then I'll start to have the confidence and awareness to be happy and to live the way I want to live. To look forward to the gym or exercising. My goals are to get in shape and feel good. Those are great goals. I also want to be more flexible and have better posture.
It's important for us to have goals, but it's more important not to overload the expectations of these goals. Goals are just a smaller word for guidance. I think we just need guidance and direction in our activities in order to get the ball rolling so we can succeed with confidence. Once we are confident, not comfortable with a hobby, but confident then we can create tangible and achievable goals. Say you are confident with your art style, now you can go after new goals of making a new project. Whereas comfortable just means safe and not ambitious and lacking.
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I finally finished all the big moving parts and can finally settle into living at home. I'm still unsure about a few things. Do I keep my normal gym membership near work or do I cancel it and get a new one near home? I live 1 hour from work and traffic going to home from work is worse than traffic from work to home. I want to get 3-5 days in the week again without that anxious feeling. I just want to go, do my things, and not stress. I mentioned before a few weeks back how I had issues once I left work regarding hobbies. I couldn't just enjoy the hobby, I just had this terrible feeling after leaving work of disgust, exhaustion, frustration, and wanting to escape. It's hard to turn that around and enjoy life after that. I am working on that now. For some reason I have a difficult time going from sad to happy. I think I'm not alone here, though. It's all the esteem and frame of mind conversation. If I now start doing things for me then that is big. I make the choices to be happy or sad for the most part.
I'm now getting back into the 1 hour classes for healing and work related to my projects. I'd still like to get in the routine of recording a podcast on the weekend real quick and posting on Mondays. I'm going to try that this weekend. I also have a few mental reminders in front of me now to stay focused on work. I have a giant calendar with a "Work" schedule. This is for hobbies and passion projects. Although sticking to a schedule can be stressful and lead to poor enjoyment, I think it also can serve as a reminder that my current life schedule is not leading to differences to make me happier outside of work. So sticking to this will be big for a few weeks until I have it in my mind that I can enjoy life. I don't want it to give me the feeling of "Ok, it is 6 PM. You can have fun for 1 hour."
I fell into that trap many times, so I want to approach it with the mindset of "Ok, it is 6 PM, try doing some of these activities now that you have free time since you'd otherwise just be gaming, watching TV, YouTube, or doing nothing." If I can get that mindset of learning to enjoy my free time through mentally, physically, and socially stimulating activities, I'll learn to enjoy working hard, enjoy life, and just not feel so down all the time. Hopefully this builds confidence.
I also booked a fun vacation with a friend. I haven't vacationed with a friend in 3 years. Before that I had only done it once in my life. I want to see our world more and enjoy life more. Have big things to look forward to doing.
One thing that is disappointing me is my urges for porn still linger. It really does remind me of quitting games 4 years ago where I'd play once a week and then get mad at myself. I'm not watching it multiple times per day, each day of the week anymore, which is good, but I still fall into it 1-3 times per week. The good news is that it's starting to sicken me more and more each time. This was the mindset I had with gaming. I'd be sickened by my habits until I realized I was torturing myself and needed to quit. I'm on the right path here. I've had little to no enjoyment and am starting to lament it. I apologize for not quitting immediately, but my pace is strange with this one and I've had to do a lot of concrete learning in order to fully understand why I'm addicted to it before quitting it fully. I just like to understand the full side of things before just quitting it. I came to the full understanding of why games were bad for me when I quit and I've had no qualms about quitting now. I want to do the same for porn so I don't have any reminiscent thoughts or emotional attachments to it.
Matt
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Nice job on the poetry gig and being there for your friend. How's the quitting porn going? Are you struggling with anything?
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16 hours ago, Ironfly said:
That went not well in my last relapse run. I did start with single player, ended up playing Team Fortress 2 and Lotro.
There is no way around it, right now i'm not committing. I'm not going for a 100%, as long i have that game on my laptop i'm in danger.
Sjoti gave me another look on it, couple of days ago.
What has changed between now and then that will let you make a different decision?
I'm going to sleep with that slogan.
I'll also avoid it. I'm going to be 10 weeks free starting on Saturday. I just sometimes see my unopened games and get slightly sad before moving on lol. That's an interesting quote by Sjoti. I think I've changed the base layout of my life, but not the meat and bones portion yet. I still haven't established my real schedule and mindset officially. It has been tough since I've moved recently. What is your discord name btw? You mentioned we spoke on there, but is it still ironfly?
Matt
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7 hours ago, Ironfly said:
@Matt S read it. its exactly whats happening to me to. You gave it words.
Alright. Today is a new day. Got up at 5:45. Went to bed early. I'm pretty happy about that because i went the last 3 evenings to bed whenever the rest of the family was going, but i was done with that. Just want normal sleeping hours again.
I also found my filler in the morning. I'm not going for crazy standards again. I always had this notion that i had to have this really strict and tight morning schedule, like "waking up - exercising - eating eggs and 5 kilos of broccoli" etc. I am going to excercise eventually, but right now for example i'm away from home, don't have my clothes with me, things are more lose. I just want to get up early, thats the only thing really. I did read somewhere, where the writer explained that he tried to get up early but there was nothing there, because if you dont have something to do its a little bit void.
Realizing that i found something that i already knew of, and already tried once and thats perfect, because now i'm more familiar with it. It's the Wim Hofman Method. Breathing, stretching and cold exposure at some point. It should be fun. I'm very interested in Wim Hofman anyway, and i think the low key exercise will fit perfectly in my morning.
Okay, time to evaluate
Sleep pattern, how well did i sleep? did i go to bed consistently, am i happy about the state of it or do desire to change it?
This is going well. i have maintained this for a week (i think), then i went to my parents and i didn't maintain. Didnt saw the need for it because it was cozy and social every evening. Last night i went back however to going to bed when i'm tired, and that is most of the time around 9, 930.
My use of discord. Right now its in a sweet spot where i hang out in the evening. However, if i'm restless and i start to use it to fill hours i want to change my use of it.
This has not happened. In the past it became something that functioned to get self esteem from, from good conversations and responses. I'm not focus on that, and i'm always reading the chat but not participating. I like how it is now.
nofap; specificely, how did i deal with cravings? do i need to remind myself of the small steps that are involved? do i need to reread the reddit answer?
I have also a book on nofap. thats one of my small steps and i need to take it. I did deal well with cravings but that is mostly because i'm not at home now, and still have 4 days to go before i will. That makes it a lot easier, i'm afraid what will happen if i return to home, but i can help myself by reminding why i want to do this, and keep saying to myself that i am in control.
Did i set myself up for failure at some point? did i let something go that i shouldnt have? did i commit edging?
I did let something go, will answer that in the last question. I have deleted my steam account, i am taking action in other areas to so i think i did not set myself up for failure.
Did i forgive myself, do i forgive myself now?
I have forgiven myself this week, for a number of things.
Do i need to delete my game from gog?
I'm procrastinating this right now. It's a single player game. I'm hoping to finish it and thén start my new life.
I'm starting to wonder about single player games. I only gamed for social aspects, but also never did anything creative. I have my NES Classic and SUPER NES Classic and haven't touched them. I want to, but I fear I'll just relapse. What a shame.
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2 minutes ago, wookieshark88 said:
Yup! Even if I don't watch too much anymore, I still consider myself a fan. Congrats on being the first to mention the reference, haha.
I knew it! I'm a huge hockey fan.
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Hey Wookie,
I haven't had time to read your forum, but I saw the name. Are you a Brent Burns fan for the San Jose Sharks?
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Nice. I still have the same struggles you do with physical acts of affection when you just want a hug or something lol. I totally understand that neglect feeling as well. This is the time for you to build your emotional network around you and learn what your emotions mean. Study how you've acted and reached out to these women and then see if you notice that you are lacking something else. Maybe at night you just want a hug and comfort before bed to calm you down, or just to have someone appreciate who you are and stuff. It's a really long journey and sometimes you don't even know what you're looking for until you randomly experience it one day.
Matt
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3 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:
I feel so bad. I feel so emotional. I don't feel like gaming at all, I am just not happy right now.
Some stuff happened in RL during the holidays that gave me a lot of stress and I have also been getting annoyed by things that are happening in RL, cause they are small little things that add up, ruining my mood, day after day. Delays, changes of plans which affect me negatively and stuff like that. I haven't left the house for almost a week because of the holidays, everything being either too crowded or closed and this might have to do with it, cause I don't like staying in the four walls of my house too much, I need a dose of the world outside. I work every day now (in my house), I am productive. I draw every day, like I had said I would, but I feel no pleasure in doing it the last few days. I have no reason to draw, I don't have those ideas in my head that artists have, or that desire to express myself, I don't have any of that. And even if I think of reasons, like portraits of characters I like, I know that I won't have a result I like right now, cause I am not good at drawing yet. In order to get good at drawing I have to learn fundamentals and the process is so repetitive, and although that was tolerable at first, after doing for days, even if I've seen progress, I don't like it right now. The progress isn't enough to make me happy, because the awareness of all the things I don't know and are stopping me for creating beautiful pieces makes me overwhelmed and discouraged. I am aware of all the things that need fixing if I try to draw something, and so I feel it isn't worth it.
I also understand that drawing, like all other arts that I've dabbled in, needs time. A good drawing might need 1.5hr to complete. A painting might need 10 hours in total to complete. But right now, under these circumstances, I don't feel like it is good for me to stay and do things that I am really bad at for so many hours. It also is lonely and I've never liked spending a lot of time alone, it doesn't feel rewarding to just be with myself. I don't think this sounds healthy though, so idk.
These emotions have been piling up inside me for days now. I am taking it easy since yesterday, being more loose in my schedule, but idk if it's for the better. I just don't want to pressure myself, I want these emotions out of my system and to be calm and neutral. I know myself. I know that this will pass once I get a chance to get out, change scenery for a few hours, get out of my head. I know that I will get back on the horse and continue learning, but right now I'm just feeling like this and sharing it. I am putting it down on 'paper' just so I can get a clearer view and start planning on how to get out of this rut.
So, key things:
• I don't like being alone for too long. I don't like staying in my house too many days in a row, I only did this the past years because gaming kept me glued to the computer, addicted. Now that I don't have such a reason, I feel very frustrated with staying in the same place for many hours. I get bored, I eat to cope with boredom and restlessness, then my weight gets affected too. So I might need to get a gym subscription, which will get me out of the house for an hour as often as I feel like, will help a little with the weight loss and offer a solution for doing something away from the computer that isn't walking out in the cold. Or I might try to just go for a walk when I feel like that, then come back with fresh desire to stay indoors where it's warm.
• I like working alone, but I don't like working only for myself to see. I have to find a way for the art journey to become more social, even if online only, so that I get motivation from other people, that's what works for me. I don't like producing art just for me, it isn't satisfactory to me, it isn't enough.
I'm sorry that you have been stressed out and not at your strongest lately. I have been here so often over the past few months and sometimes it's so hard to see progress being made. There are times where I am in the same frustration you are where I don't want to game, but I feel like I need to do something, but can't. It's because I'm not good enough at the hobby where I need someone else's direction to help me move forward. Gaming can make me feel confident because I don't need direction anymore.
It's important to realize this because you need direction to learn proper diet, proper workout routines, drawing, writing, digital art, sculpting, etc. Without direction or purpose for these hobbies we lack the motivation sometimes to keep going and feel sustained. You are such a proud and powerful person that you can do something so well, but need that purpose or else it feels like a waste. This is a good thing. Don't let it hurt your ego. You are incredible.
I mentioned this to you outside the forums, but maybe an instagram or deviant art account for your artwork could help you build a network. You can share with your peers, get advice, get compliments, get constructive criticism, and post it. When I posted my podcasts they made me feel so happy and accomplished. This could work for you. I really enjoy seeing your work and would love to keep seeing it. It makes my day better when I see the work you've done and know how much it means to you. You have learned so much recently and are doing a great job. Just remember that your ego, heart, and soul have feelings as well that are unconscious to your brain. If you are nice and caring to yourself and allow yourself some time to not be 100% on drawing then you'll feel better all around.
Now is the time to start doing smaller things around the house, out of the house, try new healthy recipes (I go to skinnytaste.com), and other stuff for getting yourself a more balanced routine so you're not always drawing.
I am proud of you for getting this far and I know you can keep going.
Matt
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I think you should read the most recent big post on my thread regarding porn. It might be applicable.
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4 hours ago, Phoenixking said:
Holy shit dude. You're onto something here. It's scary how much his applies to me.
I'm really happy to hear you're spending some time healing and making conscious moves to get into a better environment. Good job, man!
And congrats on being clean for over 9 weeks!!!
Thank you. I think we all have these issues and it's just important to think about them and see why we submit to our vices.
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I'm now over 9 weeks free from quitting video games. I took the next step in my life by moving back home with my mom. Most people would view this as a negative as I've given up my "independence" but this is important for me. I really miss being in a loving home. I really miss having someone to talk to. I felt so isolated in my other apartment because people there just played video games. Nobody ever spoke to me about their day, or hobbies, or life. And certainly nobody really asked me how I was doing. It was just a "hi" or "sup". That doesn't cover it. This goes back into my post from months ago stating I wasn't happy with most of my friends in life because they put no effort into me. My mom is special to me because she's always there for me. I need that right now. I'm vulnerable and spiritually weak I'd say. I feel so tired and just want a damn hug and some attention. I'm tired of being and feeling alone. I'm at the point now where if you want my attention in life, you give me attention first and prove to me you're not a selfish idiot.
I'm now on vacation and will be spending this time to heal. I want to build some good habits by sleeping and waking at the right time, and then I want to work on hobbies slowly and get chores done as well. My future is going to change and I want it to change for the good. I'm tired of living my life in a sad way and I'm tired of being surrounded by cheap friends and acquaintances. I've learned a lot over the past few months who my real friends are.
I made a big step with Fawn tonight discussing my porn addiction. It seems to me that I turn to porn as a mechanism to simulate love and finding love. Men are programmed to search for a mate, reproduce, and care for their mate in life. Porn takes away most of that. It just lets you "search" for a mate in the search bar, then watch scenes, and then it's over. No love, no romance, no relationship. It's lonely. that's why we get depressed when we watch porn. There's nothing deep about it at all. I found that I had cravings to watch porn when I wasn't sexually aroused or interested at all. This made me realize I just wanted emotion, attention, love, and companionship. When you're lonely and anxious, porn is just that thing that helps simulate something. I'm not ashamed anymore. I just know that is the reason I've been watching.
Matt
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6 hours ago, Ironfly said:
Belief 1: My feelings are inherently irrelevant and shameful, devoid of worth.
Belief 2: If my feelings are irrelevant and shameful, then I myself must also be inherently irrelevant and shameful, devoid of worth. (because your feelings are you, they are what make you you).
Today I related to this by:
I havent been honest to myself. I relapsed in porn and gaming this weekend. i didn't think i would. I have to be honest to myself. I have no willpower, almost none. This is my life. I cant change it in one day. I have to start over and over and over again, until my dying breath. Okay that's a bit theatrical but isnt it right?
I have always been observing other people. Very regular thoughts where "how do other people do stuff? decide stuff? make choices or make changes?". This is not strange to me. i can relate this to my autism. And it's good to think about this, i think.
With that in mind, i recognize gaming has changed me into someone who is only standing on the sideline. i dont feel power to change something.
Today i relate to belief 1 and 2 by understanding that i haven't been honest to myself, because i didnt think it was worth it. I wasnt' worth it. I sometimes think other people find me not worth it.
Okay.
Today i opted for deleting my steam account. its a good choice. the ticket has been send.
@Matt S i've been reading your post now for 3 times in the last few days. thanks for that help and support.
i forgive myself. right now. I forgive myself for not being honest to myself, for watching porn and for giving up on myself for a moment there. I don't want this to hold power over me. the past shouldn't hold that grip on you, on me. i forgive myself.
i'm going to talk later this evening some more. right now i'm going to eat, be a little more with my family.
Sounds good. The path to forgiveness is difficult and long, but important to try and find. It won't work right away, but just remember to always forgive yourself when these thoughts arise about bad habits. I'm glad I could leave a good post for you. Enjoy your time with family because they are the only ones who will love you unconditionally. It's important
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7 hours ago, Phoenixking said:
This is terrifying and difficult. It all feels like a blur. As if I'm still in denial, as if I'm still running from this.
I had a talk with most of the girls. Apart from one (Elf Girl) I'd genuinely would like to keep seeing, I will keep them all at a bit of a distance and when needed be clear about just wanting to be friends. I also made sure that Elf Girl knows about my dating and coping habits. Luckily she understands because she's a bit similar. And a degree in Pyschology helps out too ? She too likes losing herself in stuff from time to time. We agreed to try and communicate as often and clearly as possible and keep an eye on each other. We also agreed that this is like a speed bump and it's probably healthy anyway to take things slow. But we didn't want to cut ties, we like each other too much for that. We also agreed to not sleep together for a few months. Also due to a medical condition; but a few months of just getting to know each other properly feels like a healthy move.
Honestly, I'm a tad dissapointed in myself that I haven't gotten back up on the horse. I've been drinking daily but haven't watched porn in a few days. It surprised me how difficult it is for me to start up this diary again. I'm going to try and make this a priority.
@Matt S, you're right man. I AM all over the place. I'll try to quiet down a little bit, simplifying things sounds nice. It's proper advice. Thanks man. I took your advice about the relationship search and cut it down to 1 person I'll be seeing casually. I need to find peace with myself first. I tend to use dating and flirting as a way to run away from my problems. I need to face them. It's cool man, it's a proper wake up call. I think I needed somebody putting me in my place. I'm good with taking on my problems, but I tend to not take them one at a time. I tend to do everything all at once and wonder why I can't do even more.
I'm going to go and celebrate Christmas Eve now. I made another cheese cake. It might turn out to be a horrible night but it's where I'm supposed to be. With family. Despite my mom being there.
Nice. Take some time and see if you can work on something with your mom. I just moved home and I feel so much better. I actually got some sleep last night. Keep narrowing stuff out, but don't eliminate everything from your life either. Just make an outsider approach and stick to the path that is the most broad for you to follow.
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7 hours ago, Deku said:
Welcome! As a former max cape RS player I know what a time-sink that game can be, so I definitely applaud your decision to quit. You've set yourself some impressive goals; best of luck in getting them done.
I had no idea you played runescape as well. I did for 14 years. Terrible lol
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Hi,
I think you should read my gaming addiction story. I was addicted to RuneScape and Old School RuneScape for over 14 years and quit finally. I was a clan leader and everything.
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5 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:
Day 38-49, December 10th-21th 2018
No sugar days
No gaming day 17-21I have been doing drawing every day and only missed one day cause my arm hurt! I am proud of myself. I am still feeling lost on whether drawing is for me, but missing it when I don't do it and wanting to do it more than just the dedicated time I have scheduled for it are good signs, right?
If you've been following this thread, you know I tried gaming again for a few days and at this point, in this period of my life, my focus on work and progressing in drawing has me... disinterested naturally. Yeah, this is happening actually and I like it and I dislike it both but ultimately I know it's for the best. I wanna draw well, I wanna paint pretty things and people, and being consistent towards it is how I'll do it. And being consistent and dutiful with work is how I will achieve a stable income and maybe an increased one, who knows! I put a rough estimate in the no gaming days cause I wasn't keeping track of which days I logged on the game. What I experienced a lot was, I logged in, realized I wasn't getting any useful things there, logged off. Sort of like habitual seeking of distraction, then ignoring that urge and going back to doing something either productive or wasting time in other ways.
All in all I'm doing rather well, my good sleep routines are going well, I get up early and I am in bed usually by 11pm or 11.30pm and feel rested when I wake up! The Atomic Habits book really motivated me to push through and " Just do it " regarding things, putting one foot in front of the other and just trusting in the process that by acting like the person I want to be, I'll end up wanting to do these things. So far it's actually working!
Last week with the approaching holidays and the Christmas foods my calories tracking and water tracking has NOT been going well but eh! I will start the new day with stronger efforts.
I'm thankful for this community, and a little embarrassed for not posting more often even though I have thoughts to share, but I am a bit caught up with that drawing progress and researching that and getting better (hopefully!). You see me more responding to other people's posts when I feel I have something helpful to share XDEvery time I go back to gaming (it's been almost 9 weeks now) I just get a more disgusted and disinterested feel for it. I understand your thoughts on the natural disinterest. With the drawing and wondering if it's for you or not, keep working on it and give yourself the mental forgiveness where you allow yourself to not love it all the time. We all loved gaming and there were times where we didn't want to game at all either. It might not be the career for you and it might not even be the hobby you choose to keep in your life (I gave up painting real fast). But it's important in your life right now because it shows you that you can commit yourself to something other than gaming and move forward.
The holidays are tough with all the candy going around. Let yourself have some, but keep exercising and eating right. If you avoid sweets for the whole holiday season it will depress you more than if you just cave and have some cookies some days, but not all days - if that makes sense.
Don't be embarrassed for missing time or anything. You are such a wonderful person and I know I am happy when I have your support and I know others are as well!
Hope your arm is feeling better,
Matt
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3 hours ago, Silverlining said:
Uh-oh, I see a lot of warning signs here.
I understand that you are an extrovert type, so it must be very difficult for you without social activities. Given your work schedule, you probably do not have much time to make new friends, either.
I remember when I just graduated and got a job, moved to the city, was cheated on and broke up, lived with 2 roommates who barely spoke with me. I was very depressed and got into a new relationship too soon. It wasn't healthy and I didn't enjoy it, so I broke up with that guy after 3 months and went back to games directly. Apparently I don't have much advice for you, because it would be tough for anyone in such a condition. I'm just sharing my experience with you, hoping that it would be somewhat helpful.
And it seems that you are very depressed. That's why I mentioned exercise the other day. I would suggest exercising at least 10 min a day. You do not need to go to gym for this. Exercise is a natural treatment for depression. From time to time I also feel depressed, but after running or cardio for 10 min, the depression will be gone and I will find myself smiling again. It works like magic. I guess you are going to gym today, so I hope you can feel it, too.
Good luck.
Yeah, it's difficult making new friends because that's also a lot of work. I gave this advice earlier to Phoenix, but I need to realize I'm exhausted and relax. I'm moving home from my toxic living situation, stressed with work, and trying to recover from 3 addictions. It's a lot.
I'm on 10 days of vacation now so I'm gonna move, relax, enjoy family, watch my shows, read, exercise, and then slowly work on hobbies towards the end of the week.
I'm just glad to be leaving my depressing situation.
Matt
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It's never over. Another afterparty journal
in Daily Journals
Posted
Welcome back. I never saw your first post, but I'll follow you now! Looking forward to seeing your journey and goals. It's cool to see you're producing content. I really want to do this in my free time as well to allow myself that feeling of creation.
Matt