Zipperhead

Thanks. And yes I am wallowing in self pity a bit right now. Or was. But what I am dealing with more is the broken trust with my wife. She is very hurt that I relapsed, and so that in itself bad enough. But yes, it was a mistake and I am back on the wagon and counting.

And seek help. Councilling. Talking to a friend, etc.

Well that hurt. All it took was a moment of weakness. An ad on Instagram. Curiosity add life stress and depression and poof, a broken trust. Now I feel like shit, and I fight to try and keep my wife from leaving me over something she thought she could trust me on that we had grown so proud of. The problem was, I still had not cured the underlying issues with why I gamed in the first place. I was seeking help, and only a couple of weeks til my first appointment with councilling. It just all got so hard. Dealing with depression and self worth. The lack of supports and access to mental health is bad enough. But when life gets really heavy and you would rather escape than doing something even more drastic, you are not left with much in the way of choices. Argh!! So here we go again...

Isn't it interesting that it comes down to acceptance? Stay strong and try and find friends in different places. Other single moms and what not. Stay positive and seek positive. I know, easier said than done.

I hope you still doing well? I too have relapsed after nearly three years and again have my relationship on the ropes. I thought I could just "check" out a game. Nope. Like an alcoholic, you can never ever touch the stuff again, or it pulls you under. Stay strong, and hope to see a message here soon.