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DubyaDee

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  1. June 14th 2018: Day 88 Alright. I am gonna start making it much more of a habit to start making consistent posts throughout my detox journey. Even as I near completion of this 90 day detox challenge, this barely scratching the surface. I have changed some the bad habits that have been plaguing me but, I feel that there is still a lot more things I need to improve upon with myself before I consider myself 'content' at least physically and spiritually. I realize that going through this challenge made me realize that I tend to underestimate my willpower when I set my mind on something. It's an accomplishment to make it as far as the 90 days approaches soon. I certainly can recognize that I accomplished that on my own. This journey to continual self discovery is quite a lonely journey. But with milestone's like this and many more to come. Feels all the more powerful to me than just deluding myself into thinking everything is okay and escaping when things get hard. If I don't prepare and seize the potential I have in me, then the suffering of Life is gonna be that much harder on me. This challenge has pushed me to go beyond my feelings of anxiousness and seek out new challenges to grow as a person mentally. The real challenge will begin when I seek out the freedom to move out and chart a course for my own life. Until then, I should be fortunate that I have the opportunities available toward me to prepare for the hurdles that come with living independently in the future. I have the rest of my 20s to seize that now and become the embodiment of what I believe is to be "self-made man". This bird is soon ready to take flight and leave the nest to brighter days and I plan on earning my wings. DD's Current Life Plans Settle into my Part-Time Job and use the opportunity to build upon communication and social skills. Start putting more focus & attention to my physical health. Scheduled an appointment so I want a frame of reference of where to go as I start building towards a exercise regiment. Continue the focus on learning web development on my own time. I have currently maintained at least a consistent schedule since I started taking it seriously around 2 weeks ago. I hope to keep that strong. I set myself a projection date of September 22nd 2018. In other words, get as much progress as I can by the end of the summer. That way, I can consider gaining volunteering / internship opportunities. Making it easier for the eventual goal of looking for a junior web developer position and finally gaining some experience in the developer industry. Make time to pick up and learn a new language. At this moment in time, I am bilingual: English & Spanish from my parents side. It wouldn't hurt to pack more languages to learn. Could be particularly useful when I start traveling outside of the U.S.A. Japan is one of my dream destinations in mind. I do have major aspirations to start traveling at some point and live the "Digital Nomad" style. But I would want to make sure that I start building towards that and "win" at the home front. Make sure that I have everything settled at home. I'd rather not use it as an excuse to escape from any future or unforeseen problem. I yearn for travel in order to further enrich my life. To put some miles on the soul. Though I am content with traveling within the U.S.A for the same reason. Continue making more time for reading. Ever since I started to replace gaming. I figured that I could substitute that with more reading. It has certainly left me with mixed results as I have been inconsistent with my reading in general. So I plan to fix that over the summer.
  2. Excited to see you go far in this journey! You are making the first step towards that! Now comes building towards it! It's gonna be rough at the start but I know you can find a way to preserve!
  3. May 25th 2018 - June 13th 2018: Day 68 - 87 It has been quite sometime since my latest post. Though I come bearing some positive news. I recently just acquired a position as a bookseller at my local Barnes & Nobles. Needless to say that I couldn't be more elated about this next step forward. Growing in experience and having the prospect of having some funds flowing on my own end. I am gonna have to make a power play as to how to manage my time moving forward. It's hardly the best course to keep the old habits I had from playing games for extended periods of times. There is little for that in between juggling the first few weeks of the this new job, my 2 classes for the summer, along with using the time to progress further with being self taught in web development. I need to keep my skills in a general workplace sharpened so this job will do just that until I can acquire reasonable volunteer opportunities with web development and the copious amounts of projects I intend to fill to keep a varied showcase of my portfolio. I am taking the initiative to seek it and study it on my own terms so come the internships later this year or the next, I will be prepared to showcase the steady timeline of projects and growth from there. I wouldn't have believed anyone if they told me that come present day that I had flame for urgency in my life. It took a long time of staving off video games and mental training to get to this point. So to that, I will give myself this for the hard work I put to focus my priorities where it mattered!
  4. I am here to write that I have made it through at least 60 days without playing video games. I am still shocked with myself that I have managed to last this long. I have always underestimated myself in regards to my constitution. I like to believe that I am self aware enough to admit that I have a bad habit of faltering on commitment. I figured that I enter this challenge to prove to myself that my willpower. But, if it weren't for tackling this challenge in an organized manner. I feel that I would have relapsed a lot sooner. Needless to say that as far as my progress in cutting down watching video game related content and streams. It has decreased significantly. Though for transparency, I still have the odd days where things are slow and just instinctively watch game play video of something. It's something I can work on now that I am on the home stretch of this challenge. I have been feeling a lot more energy on my steps as the hard work to get here is slowly starting to pay off mentally in the long run.
  5. May 16th 2018 - May 24th 2018: Day 59 - 67 I'd say that things are certainly looking up from here. It has been a busy week with quizzes for the courses I am currently taking in University. I am a lot more aware and concentrated when I make it an effort to really understand the material front to back. I have always experienced my share of test anxiety that sometimes would compromise my grades when it mattered. But now, I am having a lot more confidence going into these types of situations where I keep a cool head, and write down any relevant information that could be useful at that moment. Other than that, I registered to volunteer to help set up an event to help promote accessible workshops to young girls interested in coding. It was something different to break the mold from what I usually do. I don't really regret doing that because it was a productive use of my time and I made myself opportunities to speak with other volunteers around my age who else wanted to break into the industry of programming. It was a successful day with little issue in helping the venue get set up and organize. I will certainly look for more opportunities to volunteer when I can throughout the summer. It's amusing. My folks have certainly found it odd that I am getting out there and showing some major hustle. Often asking what's going with me when I am up at early hours in the morning. I just simply chalk it up from taking a break from video games and just focusing on the bigger priorities. They don't mind this change and are rather supportive throughout this whole process. I can only hope that keep this up and have this surge of motivation trickle down to my family. I am gonna return back to studying for my Physics class and see you back with another post soon enough.
  6. May 6th 2018 - May 15th 2018: Day 49 - Day 58 It had been quite a busy week for me indeed. From getting settled into my summer classes and juggling dates where I registered myself as a volunteer to gain some experience and do my duty to at least help out my community. It was certainly enough to keep my mind occupied to where I hardly ever had any inclinations to play video games, much less think about them. Though to be transparent, I am still guilty of the habit of watching game play footage on those slow days. It doesn't propel to play video games as my mind is so focused on more important matters. I set myself on this journey so I could confront the issues that I have been neglecting for a long time now. I don't want to suddenly throw that away when I making good strides in my productivity. When it comes to telling my gamer friends about this whole thing. It has been met with some polarizing responses. Those who are close friends are understanding that I want to take a hiatus from games to focus on furthering one's self and seeking self-sufficiency. Others are exercising a fair amount of skepticism about the effects that videos game had on me to outright not believing that it's an issue entirely. Anything in excess in a issue that's ready to fester and get worse the longer the situation remains ignored. It's how I made steps to handle dealing with my scoliosis better, it will be the same principles provided here. I desire to iron out my issues and become a well-rounded person as a result of it. I can't start unless I make major progress in my career, once I do is when things will start to trickle down to other aspects of my life. Anyway, I am just glad of the friends that respect my decision to go through with this, It hasn't really caused a roadblock in talking with them.
  7. May 4th 2018 - May 5th 2018: Day 47 - Day 48 It is uncommon that I let myself stew in anger with my situation. I often take glances on social media to see that some close friends of mine are out there living the dream. Attending exciting places and or living out their lives finally independent. Meanwhile my days are still here at home in a job search. Grinding away the days to keep up my self-taught curriculum up. I'll say this though. The me before this challenge would have never have been consistent in maintaining habits. Back then I would have just defaulted to playing video games for hours on end and waste valuable time. I will say this though. I am a bit relieved that anytime I have of such thoughts, I cool my head and focus on improving. As much as I want to improve my social life, I feel that if I don't resolve matters with my career going forward. it's just going to trickle down into my social interactions. Any opportunity to socialize is always welcome when I need to take a break from things. But it isn't a major priority in my life at the moment. Maybe? It is quite difficult to wrap my head around things when I am not level-headed in the moment. My biggest desire that I want to take from doing this challenge is to focus on being the most capable I can be. Mostly for those that rely on me. I am person who breaks things down and solve problems, no matter simple or complex. My issue being one of the more complex. The fact that I am building consistent habits now is comforting. I suppose it's a matter of patience at this point. My chance will come if I continue to be active in what I ultimately desire. Though I shouldn't neglect my growth socially. I'll let myself ruminate on how to proceed in regards to my social life.
  8. April 19th 2018 - May 3rd 2018: Day 32 - Day 46 It has been quite some time since my last post. But I figure with the interval between the times, There is enough I can say leading up to where I am currently am. As of now, I have finished with my first semester in University. I have been reflecting a lot on how things went and what I could improve. This was only bolstered by the fact that I was met with poor results on my finals. Even after putting the effort to study daily up until the exams. Though I can't really dwell on it too much now. At least I tried and put in the effort instead of not doing anything at all. I think this probably a sign that I probably need to take it easy and slow it down. I have been going at college non-stop for a while now (in part due to switching majors halfway through to Computer Science.). Perhaps it's a good as time as any to recharge my batteries during the summer. Start focusing more on being consistent on being self taught in Web-Development. This is my answer to cut down on mindlessly browsing the internet. To be more self aware in the present moment. Not to just go through the motions. This will be the make it or break it moment of this challenge for me. Since I am currently out of classes, I need to be resolute and make sure not to get into a pitfall of video games. Especially when it's all the more easier in the summer. I feel that would be the best course of action. Funny, as I write that, I never would have imagined a point where I am not concerned with how things will go. Usually my summers were often using that time to indulge in video games and with friends. I won't say that this journey to rewire my brain hasn't been without it's share of downs. Because, there was those days were I'm tempted to just dive into games all over again and forget my troubles. But I knew that all the work I had established getting to this point would have been for naught. My journey is often just me stumbling through the darkness hoping to make something work on my own terms. Whenever that may be. I know that with each good thing I achieve in bettering myself, a dim light starts to appear before me. It's not as bright as I want to be, but it's a step in the right direction to where I want to go.
  9. I come here posting that I have made through 30 days without touching any games. Now I am going to be transparent here. I am not counting watching game play videos and streams since that was still prevalent at least during the early days of the challenge. Though as I started to progress with the challenge, I am been making an effort to cut down on watching either of them and substitute that with more productive uses of my time. As of now, its on occasion that I see any game play videos or streams. As of late not at all with not much inclination. Anything to be a better me than the me of yesterday. I am pretty content with the amount of progress I am making so far! It's crazy that you never know the limits of your willpower unless you actively seek to challenge and test it!
  10. April 5th 2018 - April 18th 2018: Day 18 - Day 31 It has been quite sometime since I posted an update. But it has been pretty productive these past couple of weeks. Fortunately things are slowly starting to look up. I just came back from an interview for a tutoring position at my university in Mathematics. I believe that it went well for the most part. I was able to convey the solution of the problems they gave me. In order for them to get a feel for me. All I have to do is simply wait from there. It was was a pleasing feeling to finally get a move on somewhere. Of course these spikes of productivity didn't last for some days. I had a feeling that when I did this challenge, the worst case scenario is that I would find another thing to substitute such cravings and soon enough I would find days where I mindless browse for extended periods of time. Because of this, that has lead me to become sloppy in some of my assignments. It costed me and it left me frustrated that now I got to deal making sure I don't go overboard with using the internet. It isn't something I can't just avoid entirely as it provides me a valuable resource in terms of study material, and for my self teaching curriculum. One things for sure, I need to figure out how to maintain these impulses to mindlessly browse. If not, I fear that it's gonna cost me my finals. I really can't be in a position to start faltering now. Not when I am at the home stretch. Just one more push into doing well with finals and then I can take it easy and look forward to moving forward throughout the summer. I am still amazed that I am at the 1/3 mark of my journey. It's crazy to think that even at the worst days of procrastination, not once did I have an inclination to play video games when things started to get stressful. @Cam Adair Any suggestions on how to avoid using something Mindless Browsing on the Internet as a substitute for gaming in my case?
  11. I wish you the best of luck on your 90 day journey to rewiring your brain! I will look forward to seeing your future entries. You are making the right choice by making the first step!
  12. April 4th 2018: Day 17 I would say that these days have been one of the more uneventful ones. That seems to be a common trend with how I would describe my days. I often speak with friends and they speak of their grand experiences traveling to all sorts of places. While I have had my share of experiences with traveling around in the US. It certainly made me realizes that I haven't really accumulated that much stories to spin and tell towards them in return. Sometimes I perceive that as not living an involved life as others. Which, in reality wouldn't really bother me at a point in time back when I was just gaming and going through the motions Since I had a group of friends that were revolved around videos games. A good portion of the conversation was centered around games, TV, movies, sports, etc. That was practically the crux of I leaned on when engaging in social interactions with people. My time away from gaming made me realizes that I haven't been looking for opportunities to start my own travels and start gaining experience of traveling on my own terms and saving all the stories and experiences that come with it. It more apparent in my mind that I am not living in the present and its always been a major struggle that I still haven't yet to fully overcome. By nature I am just fine settling down in one location and never moving around too much. But for once, I desire to go out and see the world, to catalog my own adventures and make my share of mistakes along the path. As cheesy as that sounds. I am fortunate that maybe in a few years time, my degree will ultimately allow me the freedom to start traveling for sometime. I shall simply chalk this up to a challenge I want to set on myself. I need to look for ways to expand my interests and be at least knowledgeable in other subjects other than what I am passionate about. It will expand my wordly knowledge and will give me confidence in speaking about various subjects. Lord knows that sometimes I need to poke my head into reality and not remain in my own world forever. Productivity Counter Meditation Session: 20 Minutes Reading Session: 1 Pomodoro (1 later in the Evening) Calculus 1 Class: 2 Pomodoro Calculus Tutoring Session: 5 Pomodoros Calculus Study Session: 3 Pomodoros Programming 1 Study Session: 3 Pomodoros Javascript Self Study Session: 6 Pomodoros Total Pomodoros: 20 (Plus the 2 reading and meditating) Gonna also provide a productivity log in order to discipline and motivate myself to use much of my time wisely. I am gonna start it with an easy benchmark. Accumulate at least 10 Pomodoros daily for about a week and then start to increase it slowly. I'd say that this is starting off on a very good note! I am curious to see my personal best when organizing my data in time.
  13. April 3th 2018: Day 16 I'd say that this day was certainly one of the busy days for me. I found out of opportunities to apply for a jobs within my University so I made sure to fill in the appropriate forms and sent them on their way. It will be some time before I get any call backs from them. One things for sure is that I need to get back into finding employment through a part time. At least until I can reasonably transition to finding prospective in being a part time web developer. Having my own set of funds would do wonders for the summer that is approaching. I figure with the amount of free time that I will have during the summer, I might as well look for anything I can do to get myself out there. It would be a personal challenge to see through. I'll be honest in saying that I haven't getting out there and socialize as much as I would like. I wouldn't count socializing at meetups related to the career field I am in since I can fall behind on the crux of speaking about web development or subjects related to that. Once I take care of finals, I shall look to find some clubs or organizations to join up to ultimately help improve myself in social situations. I like to think I am well-spoken for the most part. But executing on that remains to be seen on my part. Since putting a cold stop into games. My thoughts have been focused lately on the things that I have put off for so long, and they get more and more apparent. The time I have in University should be taken to discover the type of person I can ultimately become with enough effort. Enough that I can say without hesitation that I am happy with the person that I have become. But, hey, as long as I see myself becoming a better person from the person the day before, then I'd say that I am on the right path to this long journey.
  14. March 31th 2018 - April 2th 2018: Day 13 - 15 I have been slipping on making these individual posts. This weekend has been nothing short of stressing over exams and assignments. Needless to say that with all this work on my plate. I have not had one single craving for playing games this day. Perhaps I should tally that up as a good thing. My mind has usually defaulting to doing some Sudoku or playing some chess, any activity that encourages keeping a steady amount of concentration is enough to keep me busy. Though, I feel I should ask if that is considered cheating? I mean they certainly aren't video games, but they are traditional games all the same. Anyone feel free to give their opinion on that and perhaps figure out where to go from there. I took my next Calculus exam today and ended up getting a B. I am not too upset by the results. Ideally I would have preferred an A, but sometimes you can't always control the outcome of things. All you can really work towards is preparing yourself as best as you can and seeing the job done. What matters most is that there is certainly progress in improving my overall concentration in the present in these past two weeks. I still can hardly believe that I made it to 2 weeks so far. It feels strange to say the least. But I can't complain about seeing some progress in my willpower. It was an overall productive 3 days to say the least. Now it's time to slowly transition into the next step, which involves optimizing my time. To make most of my hours count. I am not sure where I will begin approaching this problem but jotting down ideas and daily scheduling of what needs to be done will be my best bet.
  15. March 29th 2018 - March 30th 2018 - Day 11 & 12 Figure I could make this post account for a two in one. The central theme of these two days seems to be dealing with really bad of procrastination. Made me lose out on some beneficial opportunities and impact some of my coursework that was set. This extended procrastination just hit me out of nowhere and it costed me time that I could have otherwise used productively on that that. It's rather uncommon for me to experience procrastination this bad. Though I suppose I am fortunate that in all that time. The thoughts of booting up my gaming console wasn't one of them. I figure that I would get this out of my system over the weekend but I have to prioritize for an important exam that is starting on the next week. Still it wasn't all bad today. I did reasonably well on quiz for my Calculus class. Fortunately I have enough to keep my mind busy and proactive so I don't start to have cravings to game and blow my time away.
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