DaBest

Day 78 Yesterday was a mixed bag. I didn't go on my computer, but I went on my phone instead. It was for three hours, so it could've been worse. My saving grace was going out with friends later that night. I didn't get to a lot of my list because of that, so that's okay. This morning I've already meditated a bit about leaving the easy life behind, and I took a cold shower. I was admittedly a bit frustrated from going on my phone yesterday when the whole intent of not going on my computer was to avoid something similar, so I wanted to get to a better start today. This made me think of when I gave up Reddit, which is one of the few things I've ever been able to quit and make a firm habit change successfully. In order to do that, I wrote in my paper journal everything positive and negative about Reddit, and everything positive and negative about leaving Reddit. Considering I was wanting to leave Reddit, I really focused on why I hated it and why I wanted to stop. While I did this, I intentionally got very angry, so every time I thought about Reddit I would be able to think back to that feeling and hopefully stop. It worked, and I've only went back for two months or so since then (June 2015) but then promptly gave it up since. I also made sure that whatever Reddit was providing me, I could find something else to replace it that was healthier. I don't know why I haven't tried this for giving up the easy life and the numerous traps I walk into on the Internet. There's a litany of stuff that I could leave behind which my life would be better for including: Twitter, Twitch, YouTube walkthroughs, ESPN, and watching sporting events alone (with the exception of MMA). This is just a start, there's probably more. Later I can move this to other non-Internet habits as well. So for the next seven days, I want to journal this in my paper journal after I post here. I will do my posts after I start my hygiene on non-work days, and after I come home on work days. When I journal, I will meditate on this for a bit, and this week will only focus on Twitter. I feel hopeful that this will be a good experience.

@Reno F Haha, that would be pretty funny to do that, dancing around while doing housework, and I guess I have done that (for real) from time to time. My issue with this, including listening to music while doing work, is that it's a complete distraction from the task at hand, and I feel that using music as something soothing in those situations just makes the mind equate work or chores with something that needs soothing and is something to be avoided. In an ideal world, and an ideal and rational mind, work and chores are just work and chores--not positive or negative, just neutral. When one really gets down to it, how we determine whether is something is good, bad, or neither, is totally up to the person who is experiencing it. I'd rather make my life easy and treat work as a neutral (or maybe even a positive) all the time, but I don't consistently practice what I preach yet. Old habits die hard. -- Day 77 Following along the same lines, and not practicing what I preach, work has been long, frustrating, and tiring. I'm also trying to really improve my performance over the next couple of days since I'm now in the middle of the application process for my conversion from being a contingent worker, but I had a moment this week where I took one step forward and five back. The good news is in the past I would let this get seriously overblown in my head and cease all functioning and get super depressed, but thankfully that didn't really happen too much yesterday since I was so busy. Once I got home, it was a slightly different story, and I really numbed myself online. Even then, it could've been a lot worse. I realize what I'm trying to obtain (discipline and the mind of a warrior) is both easy and hard to obtain. Again, it's a choice. It's entirely possible to snap one's fingers and change, but that can only happen if one really feels it in their core and makes it their being. At the same time, virtues are skills that can be practiced, they're not something set in stone by nature and nurture. At least for me, getting to that point where it's easy has been hard. To be completely honest, there is a part of me that really doesn't want to go this path--it's scared, loves comfort, loves easy, and is entirely human--and despite all the pain I'm causing myself now, I'm having trouble pushing through the discomfort to shrug off that more serious pain that robs me of my life. The conflicting idea of how this works is really troubling to me. Today, I'm going to try again, and I will continue to do so until I get it. Goals for today: catch up on a lot of stuff. Dishes, laundry, library, food, cleaning, maybe get my car back if it's ready, gym, meditate, groceries regardless if I have a car, and a cold shower, treat myself with care and forgiveness, and leave my computer off (except for library stuff).

Day 72 Man, what a rough start to the day. I've slacked hard. I have some hours left in the day though. I'm choosing not to waste any more, unlike in the past, where I'd choose to waste them. Computer off. See ya later.

Day 71 I got to stop being such a wuss about being exhausted. I just need to do what i need to do, which is nap, or sleep more. If I choose to stay up I better be willing to work through the consequences. Two days of work and I'm wiped. I'm spoiled that my schedule is staggered throughout the week. That said, I do need to be taking better care of myself on work nights, even with the important work I was doing last night. I also should just sleep instead of trying to drag myself around like I do, and when I do, I need to be more steadfast in not abusing the Internet and using this as an excuse, like I did tonight. My cover letter and resume are drafted. I did not work on them tonight though. Was very tired when I got home, and in retrospect, might've been a good thing. I will save it for tomorrow morning and have it sent out around lunch. I need to take very good care of myself tomorrow. I'm also working on Sunday. I need to cook for the next 5 days tomorrow, do laundry, and such and such. I will not listen to music during the day or go on the Internet until after dinner, with the exception of a morning post, when I'm more lucid.

Welcome @DayZero! I've been journaling on paper and on here for about three years now. The way I've used has changed quite a bit. Originally, it was to try and get a grip on my stress. Then it turned into dealing with procrastination. Then it turned into grad school applications, followed immediately by grad school itself. Then it turned into being un/underemployed and being a slave to the Internet. Then it turned into being employed, and recovering from the Internet and using it in a healthier way, while being around people who are trying to better themselves. As you can see, this can be for whatever you want or need it to be--it's very malleable. So don't stress too much on what you want it to be. It will be what it needs to be, when you need it. Is it worth it? Hell yes. Don't let worries about effectiveness, or progress, or other people's stuff stop you from journaling. This is for you to unpack your thoughts and look at them in a logical way that I find sometimes is best shown to one outside their head. To answer your two underlined questions though in more detail: First one) Again, don't worry about effectiveness too much. Journaling's benefits can be non-linear. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's meh. It depends on the situation and what you're going through. Instead, focus on consistency for a while. Starting out, it was a good habit for me to build. If I had X scenario that was stressing me out, I knew journaling helped me deal with it better, so when I got stressed, I just made it a habit to journal. Having some kind of habit in place for this to serve as your rock will be helpful, especially for when you really need it. If the thought of using the journal as a tool isn't there to begin with, that will (in my opinion) be the biggest stumbling block to effectiveness, because then you'll never use it when you really need it. Also, don't worry about how much you write. Write what you need to. Second one) Who cares what other people want to project about themselves, fake or real? This journal is yours, and is about you. If people want delude themselves in any way,and make themselves feel unnecessarily special, that is totally out of your control and not your responsibility. It's their responsibility to not be fake. I can't find a way that you'd be actively supporting them. When I think of people using your journal as supporting someone else's fake progress, I think of a parasite or a leech. You'd be supporting them insofar as that they're hijacking your good mojo, which I don't think really defines as "support." Anyway, I hope you stick with it. One of the best things I've ever done. I hope this helps.

@Simon E, Nonsense, you're not barging in here. You're more than welcome to comment. It's public so if anyone can find value in it, so be it. We're all in this together, so I can't be the only person going through the same stuff I am. And thank you for your kind comment. The goals thing is more just a way to plan after I've started to stray, and to keep me from doing so. At first it started out as an accountability thing, and in a way, I guess it still is to an extent, but then it was more "I'm gonna be so cool and just own the world!" and now it's just "I really don't give a damn what you think about my goals. I'm just trying to get better." Definitely give goal writing a shot. Do one a day. If you do it, cool. If you don't, that's cool too. As long as it adds value to your life then why not? Day 70 13 hours of work, and more to go at home. This will end up being around a 3 hour break or so. I need it after 13 hours. Work had its ups and downs. That said, I need to move quick. I really want to finish that application up tonight, or at least have it ready for a final review tomorrow evening. I also need sleep since I have work tomorrow. All this to keep a roof over my head...this is fucking insane sometimes. I did a great job with the Internet today. I checked the news briefly at lunch since I was flying solo today, and also once when I got home for about 15 minutes. To relax when i got home, I played my Erik Satie Pandora channel which was, for the first time in a while, something that was legitimately soothing and re-energizing. Just having that in the background is nice. Also, while I understand that is "Intertainment," it kept me from going overboard on the Internet when I got home. It felt healthier than turning into the numb, mindless, drooling zombie I usually am when I'm on that stuff. I feel ambivalent. Positive mixed-bag day.

Day 69 Did not get through all of my list last night. Went to bed at 9:30, which is really early for an off day. I found myself falling asleep in the living room around 8, so I took it as a message that my body was just not having it, and that I could finish the rest up today. I got through most of the list though. I started this morning with a cold shower and watching some Game Quitters vids, just to put my mindset in the right place. Today's goals are to get groceries, cook for the next three days, pick up some electronics stuff/a gift for someone, meditate, and work on that application so I can send it out after tomorrow. If I want to listen to music, I can do that at 7:30-8:30.

Day 68 This weekend was really rough. I'm thankful it's over. A new start. I was seriously exhausted by the end of last night. My present lack of ability to consistently deal with stress kept me up late the past few nights. I've gotten a slow start to today. I'm going to try and pick up the pace now. In an ideal world, the ideal me would have a stoic-warrior-like personality that could just deal with anything and push through with self-mastery. For a while now, I guess you can say that when things go wrong, I get immensely frustrated and/or scared. Hence the frustration with my bosses. I get an email that isn't so nice, which isn't how I want to be treated, and I get bent out of shape because of how it differs from the ideal, which is that I be treated with respect. I came to realize this a few weeks ago upon doing some reflection, but I only considered this based off events only, and not interactions with people, too. In reality, I choose what my reaction is to those situations. My reactions will never be perfect, but it doesn't mean I can't improve them. I have to be more aware in the moment so I can stop myself and say, "Look, it's not perfect. Just deal with it and get past it as quickly as possible." So for tonight, I have a list of things to do to get back on track. Dishes, laundry, dinner, groceries, library, meditation, gym or podcast, clean up house, work on application. The last in the list is potentially good news. My bosses let me know the other day that the job posting to convert from a contractor to full-time employee was posted. I'm scared since it's an open post, and there are others I've been hired with. My contract runs through February, but I've been fighting so hard for this. I have no idea where I stand in relation to my peers. I also don't know how many spots they're hiring. My heart is racing typing this. Anyway, I'm gonna read some posts and log off for the night and push through.

Day 65 [Ventpost incoming.] One day of work and I'm already exhausted. 13 hours. Two of them OT and off the clock, just so I can get ahead. Plus I had to walk home an hour in the rain since I stayed late and couldn't get a ride. And I realized that the majority of my bosses are ------ passive aggressive as hell. There are two things I can't just ------- deal with at work: passive aggression, and not knowing whether someone has your back or hates your guts. I deal with both now on a daily basis, and I'm just ------ over it. I'm tired of waking up on a workday feeling stressed the ---- out, just because I don't know who is going to throw a tantrum somewhere in my general direction. But ---- all that. I need to deal with this better. Their reactions are not my own. I choose my feelings and responses to my environment. The world can be burning and I can be calm. I can't lose sight of this like I've been and let it eat me up. I'm no victim--I'm just a person. And these other people are just people. That's it. On the bright side of things, I posted through the end of the week daily. Often not when I planned, but I did it. Coming in as drained as I am, it's hard to want to do anything coming home. All I did tonight was watch sports. Forgive and move on. I want tomorrow to be better than today. I'm going to try and love my enemies better and not view them as such to begin with. Just need to breathe, and check my pride at the door.

Day 64 Yesterday was a good day. I held tough on not checking the news at all. I had an opportunity to read the news in my window, when my friends were running late, but I was enjoying the progress and didn't want to ruin it. I started my day cleaning up, going to the gym, doing laundry, reading, getting groceries--basic stuff. What was really nice about it though, was that I realized if I were on the computer all day, I would've done none of that, felt sorry for myself, and went deeper into the internet. I've noticed that not doing anything will make me really stressed out and go down the rabbit hole, but so long as I do something of value, my stress is a lot lower and I don't go down the rabbit hole quite as often. Another fascinating thing about yesterday was that I almost started practicing engineering. On my habit hierarchy I made, on the level above all of the basic needs habits (cooking, sleep, clean home, gym, meditation, and going to church), the habit is "deal with stress and mental/physical health better." Above that, is "practice engineering daily." I haven't done this in ages and has long been a goal of mine. When I'm tired, I couldn't give a damn about engineering. The fact that the thought to do so even crossed my mind was amazing since it was the first time in a very long time. I unfortunately had some other stuff come up though, so I didn't get a chance. Progress. Today, I hope to continue the same progress. Top priorities are getting my car to the mechanic as my brake system is failing (fun), cooking at least three days worth of food, and not going on the Internet for fun outside my window.

Day 63 Damn, that sleep was good. I slept for 10 glorious hours. I find it amazing that a day of work can make me so tired. Per my goal, I want to do a morning post. I did get a bit distracted when I first got on my computer, but I have not pulled up the news, or music, or Youtube, etc. Now that I'm posting this, I should have better resolve for today. My main goal for today is to get my house in order and take care of myself. My second goal is to entertain myself by any other means necessary today. I'm supposed to get dinner with friends at 8, and I've been trying to not view news or other distractions on the Internet outside of 7:30-8:30, so I guess I'll just take a break from it today. Doing that will be good for my discipline, and for my habit tree.

Yeah, being sick is meh. It happens. Day 62 Stayed real late at work today, not by choice. Got home around 8. I'm not going to complain though. It is what I want it to be. That said, I'm wiped. Went straight on the computer, but once again, not here. After 14 hours my discipline is low. I find this incredibly ironic, as when I'm at work, my discipline is A+, even over 14 hours. Taking care of myself when I get home needs to be more habitual. I also spoke to my boss about my proposal on not staying late as much. Surprisingly, he was pretty meh about it. He explained why, and though I understand is point of view, I don't necessarily agree. His alternative was "can you get in earlier?", to which I said, "No. I don't have the discipline for that yet, and it doesn't really solve my problem." That's the truth. We'll see where it goes. I have great respect for the bossman though, regardless. Tonight I'm going to go to bed earlyish for a weekend night and just get rest. And I'll take care of the other stuff in the morning. No need to be on the Internet past midnight (small victory).

Well thank you for reading, Cam. Day 61 Got out of work late today. Had to eat before posting, got distracted. I'm still posting though. I'm sick, so I'm going to keep this short and sweet cause I need to go to bed. Could've taken better care of myself today and cut down on my internet usage (~3 hrs). I tend to take worse care of myself when I get home within 4 hours of my ideal bedtime. This happens because I usually stay at work late to push through side-projects I can't touch during normal hours. Currently, I have three days off a week, so I'm thinking of spending some time on one of those off days at work instead of staying late, especially since I usually just putz around on my weekends when nothing's going on, like I will on Thursday (off day). This way, I can get work done on the side-projects unimpeded (who's gonna bother me on an off day if I come in?), and I won't be killing myself for 12-13 hours a day. I have a huge backlog of "side stuff" to catch up on, and it might be good to have a deep work period for just that, separate from the "normal work." I'll run that past my boss tomorrow. Here's to a better tomorrow.

Day 60 I'm doing this as an early post (pre-work) today since my start time is very late today, and I'll probably go straight to bed when I get home. Last night I did 1, 2, 3, and I called home, but unfortunately I fell asleep while meditating. Didn't realize how tired I was. I promised myself to do dishes in the morning, which I will after finishing this post. As a plus, I did not go on the Internet after my last post. So far, cooked a big breakfast and some dinner for later, and browsed some journals of people on the same journey as me. It would help to keep people around me who do things that I strive to achieve. All in all, today's start was much better than yesterdays, and I am feeling ready to go. I have no goals for tonight besides going to bed at a reasonable hour, depending on when my start time gets shifted to tomorrow. Peace!

Day 59 Damn, a whole month without posting. Things have been up and down since then. On a whole, I've been taking much better care of myself. Not consistently though, which is really key. On a whole, I've been eating better, getting more sleep, and keeping a cleaner home, and I still need to improve on my meditation, gym, and going out. When all of these are in place, it is much easier to say no to doing frivolous stuff on the internet, like watching streams or sports. Living by myself has not been easy. It's isolating, and like when I was a kid, what do I do when I'm isolated? Go play video games/go on the Internet. Got to stop. So for the rest of tonight, here's the gameplan: 1) Have dinner 2) Go to gym for a little bit. 3) Shower, then meditate. 4) Dishes!!! For the rest of this week, too, I'm going to make it a goal of making a daily post here (either first thing I do after getting in the door, or after I finish my morning hygiene on my off days). These lifetime habit changes are taking a bit of a psychological toll, as part of me is not letting go. Until then, I'm going to practice shorter-term consistency (at least in the short-term, heh heh), and use it as a foundation for bigger things. It's frustrating to still be on this stuff, but with time I'll get there. I won't stop til I do.

Day 31 Kept on track real well until Thursday, then I stayed up real late and was a lazy bum until Sunday. Despite the stumble I am really proud of how last week went. Tomorrow I want to cook my food for the rest of the week. I started today, but I started late. I want to do dishes and laundry, too. I plan on listening to one or two podcasts from a new podcast I found, while I'm doing that. I will not be checking news, sports, or listening to music. That's it. Goodnight folks.

Day 27 Today was a good day in limiting my Internet usage. When I left work, I went to a Starbucks and read my book. Went home, did some pushups. Ate dinner without music/podcasts/Youtube and I should be in bed around the same time as last night. In light of taking care of myself, I'm going to keep this post quick tonight. I have an email to send after this, and my computer will be off after that. I'm really grateful for the last few days.

Hey Cam, Rationally, I agree with you. That makes total sense. I'm just not very rational at times. Working on it. Day 26 It's been a while, been busy and been lazy. The past week and a half was up and down. Currently it's up. As I kind of alluded before, my sports watching since my last post yo-yoed. I either moderated or didn't watch for roughly 2/3 of the days, but on the 1/3 I binged to various extents. Honestly, it could've been a lot worse given the Olympics were taking place in a similar time zone as mine, as live sports is way more of a pull than tape delay. In retrospect, this was probably a significant improvement over what old me would've done, which is stay up late and watch for hours on end every night, regardless of circumstance. I want to do better, but I'm not mad. Over the past few days though, I've come to realize that the dish thing is not just a "dish thing." I just do a really bad job of taking care of myself on even a basic level. This is embarrassing, which leads to stress, which leads to chaos. Realizing this, I've been trying to focus on just taking care of me first before I worry about anything else. As a result, my stress is much lower, my willpower up, and my urges down in frequency and intensity. Between Sunday and today, I've cooked a ton of food which should last me through Friday for both lunch and dinner (I'm looking at you, Cam ). My apartment looks way nicer, and weirdly enough I'm going to bed earlier. And since I was well rested, I was able to not be a slug when I got home and instead go to the gym, which calmed and energized me. This is a positive spiral of sorts, and it feels weird. I'm not used to this, haha. Just giving a little energy to get more back, and it's working.

Day 17 Phew, what a week. First and foremost, I seem to have at least partially mended the bridge between myself and my co-worker. I think the cookies went a long way to proving I was serious about being sorry. It's still awkward, but less so now. I have not done a fantastic job of limiting my Internet usage this weekend outside of my parents' visit to my apartment. Even while they were here, the Olympics was on in the background as we did other things. It was really nice to see my parents, despite it being an up-and-down experience as usual. It sucks that I live so far away now and we only see one another every few months. Their visit this weekend made me question if I was really serious about changing. I think I've been lying to myself quite a bit. I definitely want to change, but I've been avoiding the work associated with it. Tonight, when I'm done with my post. I'm going to leave my computer off, and not check my phone unless its for something work related. Doing this will mean I'm passing up the track and field portion of the Olympics tonight, which I'm particularly fond of. Instead, I'm going to go to the gym for a bit and I'm going to bed early. Maybe I'll meditate too. This is only one cycle of the vicious cycle that I'll be breaking with a better habit, but with practice I'll be better at this.

Hey Sol451. First, welcome to the community! We're glad to have you! Second, I wanted to say I empathize with a lot of what you were talking about, especially about feeling trapped, the depression, and the spiraling video game usage (for me, my vice now is the Internet, but growing up it used to be gaming). I'm no paragon of success, but the path you're setting out on is so worth it, even though it will be difficult at times. Anyway, you seem like you have some great goals set up. Keep it up!

That is seriously amazing. Both what you did and the idea of doing that. This could become a thing. Day 12 I messed up today, big time. I got in an argument at work over something of considerable importance that I witnessed someone else doing, but I lost my cool and went further with my language than I should. It was over the line and I readily admitted that to my boss and the other person. Thankfully, my boss and co-worker were understanding and everyone admitted their wrongs and hopefully everything is smoothed over at this point, although my boss did give both of us a stern warning with regards to being hired from our position as contractors if we can't work as a team. I wish we had behaved more levelheaded in the moment, like when we were in my boss's office, which was a more constructive discussion. My behavior is of particular concern to me due to it's childishness. The good thing about planning to meditate today meant that I had time to meditate on that. I need to remove this behavior from the bank of possibilities when a situation like this arises. After talking with my family, and some deep introspection, I realize that in a way, I've always been frustrated when things don't go my way. When I was a kid, I'd freak out if stuff didn't go my way, and honestly it made life at school way worse for me than it should have and made me an easy target for bullies. Then, when stuff really started going wrong in my life that was totally out of my control, I can very easily say I had my darkest years. I thought about a lot of the friendships and bridges I burned because things started to not go my way and I blew up to some varying extent, and I can see the pattern recurring over and over again. It's hurt me socially for a long time, and now it's about to hurt me professionally. This has to stop, and it will. Afterwards, once I finally got home, I decided to bake some cookies for my co-worker (he couldn't stop talking about the other ones I baked, recently) as sort of a token of "I'm going to do my best to follow up my words with actions about trying to do better." I also meditated (goal: check) for about 15-20 minutes on this and felt relaxed and clearheaded. This will go a long way to diminishing my reaction to things not going my way. I also readily acknowledge that I cannot add stuff to my personality and whatnot, especially since all of this was not environmentally developed (I think). However, I do think I can diminish this part of my personality and develop better responses to the feelings that are associated with it, and let the more fun and easy-going part of my personality (it does exist) shine more. For example, after I meditated, I tried imagining past scenarios and practiced using a more adult response: talking about how I felt, using more I statements, and acknowledging how it's hurting my relationship without getting mad and being prepared to hear "no." It seems weird to practice it like that, but I don't see myself seeking out conflict for the sake of practicing how to put it out. As a person, no matter how many times I fail, I will always continue to try and better myself. Goals wrap-up: Also got car to the mechanic, today. That was much better than ignoring the problem and not dealing with it. Tomorrow's goals: 1) Dishes 2) Laundry 3) Meditate 4) Get my car if it's ready. OR. If it's not ready, clean up my apartment more. Finally, to the reader: I apologize for the walls of text and the psychological breakdowns ad nauseam. I feel a lot of my Internet/gaming usage is a result of of personality/past trauma and not merely habit. I'm trying to kill the root of the problem rather than just placate it. These posts will continue to be like this until I start getting better, but if I don't work through this, that'll never happen.

Day 11 Quick Post Dishes, yes. Mediate, yes for 10 minutes. Olympics...went to a bar with friends for happy hour, couldn't really avoid it then, but I didn't watch any at home, solo. Today I was more well rested for work and my stress levels were way lower. As a result, when I got home, getting my stuff done even though I got home way later than usual was easier. Also, realizing my car needs to go to the mechanic hasn't stressed me out like it has in the past (money issues). Otherwise, my Internet usage at home was ~45 mins only. That's good! Goals for tomorrow: 1) Figure out what mechanic I am going to drop my car off with, and when. This is very important. 2) Mediate Don't care about the dishes, my focus is just on the car. Meditate for stress.

I'm an engineer by trade and currently I'm on the manufacturing side of things, so I'd like to switch to the engineering side of things in my industry. I've also done some research in the past and love the idea of creating something brand new, but I'm not sure I have the discipline and willingness to sacrifice necessary to continue with that just yet--my passion for that has waned a bit. Also, just saw the video on finding new activities to replace gaming. I really liked it! I gave it some thought and as much as I don't like to drink, I am going to start going to bars more since it fulfills the requirements: it's a temporary escape for sure, I can get social connection from it, my social skills will surely grow with time, and my social skills will be seriously challenged. I've been avoiding bars for a long time due to income issues, but not that's not as big of a problem now. I don't have to drink if I don't want to, and while that makes going more challenging at first, the challenge will make my social skills grow even larger with practice. --- Day 10 --- From the prior post, completed all my goals except for getting printer ink. The Staples is kind of far from me and I didn't want to make the long trip just for that. I decided I'll go when I check out a new bar that's nearby there. Over the weekend, I was busy, Friday night I was up til 3 AM preparing for a social event of sorts, and Saturday I was out from 10 AM - 2 AM. I enjoyed myself thoroughly, but I let my apartment go a little bit. I didn't do dishes til today. Initially, I was a bit bummed that I dropped my streak, but then I thought about how much better I've been doing and instead felt grateful for the improvement. Today I went a little overboard watching the Olympics, but unlike in years past, I was able to put it down eventually and focus on what I needed to get done for tomorrow. Part of the huge sports fan in me wants to just watch non-stop like I used to when I was a kid on This week, I'm going to try and read, nap, and meditate more to counteract that. Tomorrow's Goals: 1) No Olympics, as much as it pains me. 2) Dishes 3) Meditate for a minimum of one minute

Day 7 Last night: after finishing my post I spent a little bit of time down the rabbit hole again, so I very stupidly went past my limit by an hour. I did do my dishes though and felt weirdly accomplished like I always do once I'm done. Work today was slow, which was a nice change of pace. Went to happy hour afterwards with coworkers and enjoyed myself. I talked with someone who I met twice before briefly, and seemed to be a swell guy. At one point he said, "Man, I wish I had a chance to get to know you better. .... [ conversation ].... I don't think you're in the right place [where I work], I hope to see you do better in the future." That was a really kind thing to say, but it kind of gutted me a bit. I'm very grateful for my current job, but there's no way my current job is feasible long term--technically, I'm underemployed, and the career path is far from what I'm aiming for and the path I recently had to give up. Yet another reminder of what I can be doing with my time instead of Internetting. I also did several stress checks at work today, which was good. My stress was low, but I tried to focus on my breathing at times to stay calm. In terms of Internet use today, I deviated from my plan, but not in a bad way. News I kept to about 15 minutes, although I decided to catch a peek at the bar during a moment of awkward silence (not a good habit). I did not prepare for that social event at all, but instead, I spent my time printing scientific articles for a friend that I have background in, which I promised I'd do a few months ago. I'm embarrassed, but I promised him tonight that I'd follow through tomorrow, and I've been curating the articles and printing them. Goals for tonight: 1) Finish printing 2) Eat my cooked dinner. 3) Dishes Tomorrow: 1) Get printer ink. 2) Do the thing I wanted to do tonight. 3) Dishes

Day 6 Hey @Cam Adair. ^^I agree with this very much. Honestly, probably the best way I deal with stress is sleep. Usually, I'm tired because of lack of stress, and a lot of my stress goes down after I sleep. It's like killing two birds with one stone. Haha, but aside from when I'm tired, I get true stress relief from: the gym (when rested), reading, being with friends, and mediation are usually the go to. That's only when I remember, because my habits are weak in seeking out those areas. Most of my "stress reduction" is 99% oriented towards the computer/phone/used to be consoles, too. The good news is today that the Internet was not my first step when I got home. For whatever reason, I had a pounding headache today at work and was exhausted all day despite a decent night's sleep. I took a nap for an hour when I got home before I did anything (which also qualifies as an option for my "entering the apartment habit.") I felt way better afterward and only spent 20 minutes on my phone afterwards, and then I ran some errands and made cornbread. After that, I went down the rabbit hole a bit again, but I did not go over my 2 hour total Internet non-work usage a day. I did have a couple of urges earlier on after I woke up to go on Reddit, but because I was rested I was better prepared for it and realized it wasn't going to serve me any good. So overall, my response after work today was a good one. None of this would have been possible had I not done all my chores last night and salvaged the end of my day. It meant that one bad day didn't make for two. Now I gotta go and finish the dishes and keep the streak alive. Goals for tomorrow: 1) Less than 30 minutes of news tomorrow, with the rest of my Internet time only going to preparing for a social event this weekend. 2) Dishes (I know this is a weird repetitive goal, but it is what it is) 3) Do one "stress check" at work during the day.