NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Laney
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Posts posted by Laney
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I think this would be a great idea.
Edit: I also kind of want to plan a backpacking trip
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I had forgotten what a surreal day that was for me, the 7th of March..the day of my journal entry (above).
This was a day of mourning, of disbelief, of processing. It was also destructive and beautiful.
I had driven to pick up an item and locked myself out of my car for the first time in over a year. I had planned on visiting this cake shop for my family after, so after being unlocked I went. As I was about to park someone slammed on their accelerator and drove into the shop I was going to visit.
The odd feeling was that I could have been in that store had I not locked myself out of my car. Weird.
My somber self then decided I wasn't ready to face what had happened the day before, at least not at home. (Relapse) I noticed it was raining in the distance, With storm clouds as my guide I drove with no goal in mind except to meet it. I drove towards it. I drove into it. I followed it into the mountains where it fell, now lightly, onto my skin. And I spent a few hours writing. There was a deep yearning inside me for those moments in the mountain to never go away.
Eventually the sun faded from the mountains. My stomach ached for sustenance. I recalled the long drive home. Reality began to come back and sobered me from my writing phase.
By the time I got home it was dark. I posted my poem. I went to bed.
** Sorry for the odd post. Revisiting old thoughts and feelings. My journal tends to be styled more Vonnegut anyway. No, I enjoy this entry. Done apologizing. Take it or leave it.
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♥♥♥ Your first two days make me so happy! Getting rid of the physical distraction, joining the forums, writing a journal, taking the time to plan your days and being present with yourself.
The itch didn't appear for me right away either, it was a bit surreal at the beginning, as if it were an exciting temporary thing. Making it an always thing happens over time, which the 90 days is perfect for that.
Reconnecting with people became much easier for me too. I'm much more in the moment now. Giving people my full attention, when before I'd be consumed with thoughts of games, or bored in the presence of people who used to entertain me. Hope it goes well:)
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Something that I've always thought cool was carrying a pen and a notepad in your pocket and take notes from whatever you found interesting or useful during your day. I always pictured Sherlock Homes with a notepad writing clues at the crime scene, a scientist taking notes from his observations, also Jonathan Harker from Bram Stoker's Dracula. Then I came across the commonplace book concept with one of the members from here. "Wow, this is real", I thought and quickly created a new notepad on the Onenote app. As much as I want to carry a paper notepad, saving notes on the "cloud" is more accessible and reliable.
How funny that you mention this. The first time I met @Cam Adair, he had a notebook that he carried everywhere with him. He took notes of a few things I said and it felt as if he were paying real attention to my thoughts. Much more personal than taking out your phone while talking to someone.
So now after meeting Cam I have since bought my own notebook! It's not that large, can fit in your pocket. I know the phone notebook is useful--and even I use one for lists and thoughts--but for people I always use a physical notebook now. I highly encourage it
Sorry to hear about your friends. You'll discover those who understand and encourage you, and those who will tempt you back as well. Some people can't fathom quitting, nor could even I a year ago. It's painful to receive such negative reactions from people you care about, but you are more important and deeper than what they imagine for you.
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I can't believe how much I resonate with the people posting in this forum.... That was the deciding factor for me
It truly does help, the people here. I look forward to the changes and progress in your life. Welcome to the forums, Alex
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Welcome, Eric
You're in for a wild ride that will change your whole life! What are you planning on doing with all this extra time? -
Lol shush Cam. Missed you too.
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I don't think there's any good strategy to "seal the deal". It's not something you can force, and it's something both sides have to want. Relationships are about Timing, Compatibility and Location. If you only have two out of three, it's not going to work out. (Although location can be remedied, it's usually safe to say it's a deal breaker if you don't live near each other especially at the beginning of dating)
These are the following things that could get in the way of sealing the deal, that you literally have no control over:
Timing Are they focusing on jobs/school/life more than dating? Are they emotionally prepared for commitment? Are you rebound? Are they dating someone else?
Compatibility Do they think you two are compatible?
Location Do you live too far for them to want a real relationship?
If none of these issues exist on either end, then it will happen with time and communication. The only strategy to apply to increase your chances of sealing the deal is the strategy of gaining trust and comfort between the two of you (alternatively named not scaring them away).
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My journal entry for today.
Day 1, 17 hours. Broke on day 82, yesterday. Don't know how I feel about it. Don't know if I want to keep this up. But I wrote this while alone in the mountains today.
Save Game? (Y)es (N)o
Get more sun!
Go outside more!
Go to bed earlier!
Real life is great, just get out there!
Of course, the world is great, blah blah,
Well I've been rejecting that greatness for years.
When I do go outside I struggle awkwardly,
My efforts left unappreciated.
I reject and I ignore life, waiting,
As if someone or something will come and save me.
Not that my pride would ever let me be saved
Here I sit,
A princess in a castle of her own making.
When I allow myself to experience this greatness,
Its power and beauty encompass me so entirely I am bound motionless.
Or weeping
Suffocating, despite my gain of fictitious magic, through the loss of the real thing.
Synthetic joy is not sustainable.
I'm left wondering,
If there is hope in my life for greatness,
I've felt it, I know its possibilities
Why do I sit here and lose myself?
I'm pathetic.
# run google
Welcome to Google! What do you want to Search?
# how to play INSERTGAMENAME less?
Running Google Search V3.1... please wait.
List of Search Results:
"Are you addicted to video games?"
"Support groups for quitting video games - Visit GameQuitters!"
"Success stories of living game free"
Wow.
I'm not alone.
Nor am I pathetic.
Can I actually do this?
# quit
Save Game? (Y)es (N)o
# n
# uninstall INSERTGAMENAME
Uninstall? (Y)es (N)o
# y
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Going to bring up the dream topic again as it's still bothering me passively.
So I've quit gluten and video games. Now my dreams are filled with indulging both of these, and closer to waking, guilt in the dream about having relapsed. Lol. It's ridiculous and kind of a downer. I've even had my dreams confused with reality more than once, stopping and facing myself, "Did you really play a game yesterday?" "Why did you eat that food?"
I worry about everything. I doubt time will remove these dreams and fears of accidental relapse. My brain is forgetful and I'm constantly worried I'll forget I can't eat gluten or that I've quit video games. Kind of silly to worry about but it's honestly the only way I keep my brain in check, to remind myself with fear.
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Day 77
Hi everyone~ I've been MIA on the forums. I've not been avoiding you guys, rather avoiding facing myself and the disappointment I feel in myself. I feel I should be better than I am, but I guess not addressing it is worse than speaking to my journal.
I feel overwhelmed. Depressed. Unhappy with my willpower. The beginning of this quarter I was so focused on being 100% everywhere in my life that I ended up being 100% in family, friends, organization, food and errands...at the cost of not having enough time and energy left dedicated to school.
Now I'm in survival mode, as always. I wish I could do more than just survive in my schooling.
Even though I'm not playing games, I haven't replaced it with better habits. My goal for this week is to start my homework early, and begin interrupting my habit of last minute werk.
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Hey dude. I have been in the car before with a girl driving insanely high. I was scared out of my mind!!! You're not being abnormal here to want someone to be sober while driving what the fuck.
And I am also a fellow earplug wearer at concerts. Screw what others say, you are going to have your ears ten years down the row. I have also noticed after taking the initiative with ear plugs and bringing extra, that there is always someone else, if not the whole group, who is happy I brought them because they care too, and I give them a pair to use. Until people take those steps to secure themselves and be safe, it's seen as "...well no one else is doing it so I wont.."
Honestly anxiety has its purpose. It's to keep you alive. The reason adrenaline attacks exist is because they make you react faster to get out of a bad situation. Like your ears being saved from a loud noise, or preventing a deadly car accident.
Maybe I'm just reinforcing your anxiety? I apologize if that's the case. I just want you to take action in these situations because You are important and You deserve to take care of yourself.
Besides I think it's cool to be preventative
because I am also a J and also need plans to relax and feel like I can enjoy the moment sometimes. Why do you think I carried so much stuff with me to the beach? People were grateful and maybe thought I was a bit weird, but we all had towels to sit on.You can't plan for everything, of course. Meditation and breathing has helped me relax in situations where I was unprepared for change or things going wrong. And there will still be nights like last night. But that's okay.
honestly I feel like you might have been fine at the concert if the night hadn't started out with the weed. It made things begin on an uncomfortable tone. Just reading your story gave me anxiety as soon as I arrived at that paragraph. -
Day 59 (whaat almost two months!)
I went gluten free a little over two weeks ago. It has been an intense journey that taxes my mind and body. Today, I forgot to take my vitamins before work and was reminded my body is still experiencing gluten withdrawal. Or that something else is going on in my body I'm not aware of yet. Since this is still a problem, if not worse than last week, I want to get bloodwork and food allergies done.
Been listening to Brain Maker on audible, I am now inspired to fix my adhd, brain fog, depression and headaches with my diet. It sounds too good to be true! That my adhd could be reversed, or at least lessened and managed, by a healthy gut biome. I definitely can't attempt this on my own though. Again, I need to seek professional help.
Work has been much better though! Brain fog disappeared. Oh and my impulsivity to buy random things has also decreased! So has my depression lessened. These are all good signs, but not sure if it's worth this headache.
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Isn't it funny how we and others just accept gaming all day as normal and acceptable, so long as you love it? When we talk to others, we need to keep in mind the big picture view we have over the topic of gaming. Most don't understand addiction or that they are addicted. If you let go of this awareness it's easy to get carried away and say, well why not! Let's game! We have to remind ourselves that it's not what we want. Not who we want to be. There is something bigger and better out there to accomplish.
Proud of you! I've been thinking about rearranging my room for a "new" feel, maybe I will soon. Glad it worked for you.
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@Hitaru I'm having a good time lol
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Interesting discussion!
I'm pretty solidly INTJ, though all types change and develop as they age. In the past few years I've definitely developed my Fi more. I went through a phase of being all about practicality and intelligence as well, but that has shifted a bit into understanding the importance of emotions. These days I tend to find emotional intelligence perhaps more impressive or attractive or interesting than analytical intelligence. In my world, at least, emotional intelligence is harder to come by. I'm also more social than I used to be, although definitely still an introvert. I previously used my introversion as a means of justifying my social isolation to myself as valid. These days I have a better sense of when I actually want to be social vs not, and act accordingly.
Most of my closest friends are N types, and many of them are not "normal" with respect to gender, sexuality, etc. The broad generalizations that you sketch are correct, Marchosias, but they are just that - generalizations. I don't know what the initial discussion was about, but I think one of the interesting parts of getting to know yourself better is understanding what parts of the generalizations apply and in what ways you deviate from them.
It sucks, women are highly discouraged from being and INTJ. We are "intimidating" "bossy" "uncaring" "rigid". Although I like myself more now that I'm more aware of others feelings and how my actions can affect them, I do wonder what I could have accomplished if I had stayed oblivious and logical. Maybe in a different timeline I'm the new Ada Lovelace of alternate reality or quantum computing. Haha. Although I could still be a pioneer in AR.
I will always have a soft spot for INTJ's since I grew up as one
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Maybe you should find the guys who like what's going on in the mind. Everyone's different, and putting labels on everyone's desires just creates unfounded assumptions that we sheepishly conform to.
In fact, when you find the people who secretly despise the norms and fit yours, that's when the magic actually happens.
I like playing the game - the smarter the girl is at playing it, the more fun the chase. I'm not particularly attracted to unintelligent women, even when they're physically attractive. Summing up my approach to what I like is not even really possible. There are so many factors for me that influence my attraction to someone. But they have to be decently intelligent in some context, whether that be social, musical, artistic or analytical intelligence. Otherwise I'm just going to lose patience. I actually feel out of place with other guys when I'm out - they don't seem to find the same enjoyment in the process, of charm and all of that.
Thank you Alkan! Makes me feel a little warm inside being reminded that men can appreciate more than just my body. Not saying you don't, @Marchosias but you do talk about women more objectively, hence me assuming the hot idiot part, thanks for correcting my assumption
Also Alkan I resonate with what you said about intelligence in some concept. So long as someone has passion for something, are higher thinkers in a certain part of their life and can inspire something inside of me, it is very attractive.
Well, I haven't said anything about dating idiots. Intelligence is hereditary to a degree, so you don't want your woman to be an idiot at all. I also cannot stand women who can't hold a meaningful conversation; what kind of marriage would that be. I know some men claim they "don't care" about how smart a woman is, but I'd say those men aren't exactly a gift to humanity themselves. However, the sad reality is that men have no interest women's minds if they aren't hot.
At one point, I knew a woman who had a fascinating personality, was smart as hell, and a brilliant poetess to top it off, but she wasn't physically attractive, and I just couldn't do it. She wasn't ugly in a technical sense -- just not quite there. High intelligence and below average looks are a terrible fate for a woman. As a man, you can still compensate by working on other qualities; As a woman, not so much. At least if you're straight.
It is possible to enter ketosis by just limiting the carb intake and not upping the fats. I did that when I first tried it in 2013: at that point, I still had my office job and would drink regularly. After I entered ketosis without really knowing it, I drank about 0.5L of vodka, and the next day I experienced the worst hungover in my life. It also wouldn't be the last. Keto hangovers are their own special category, so perhaps you can watch out for that (it's actually fine if you're not an alcoholic and stay reasonably hydrated). What made you go gluten free?
I know a guy like this too! Ugh! I feel so horrible for being so shallow, he is literally the best guy I know by 200%. Very intelligent, inspires passion, always brightens my day, challenges me to be a better person in my career and to others, but he is short and heavily overweight. :<
Ooph, the hangover sounds horrible, I will try to avoid drinking for a while until I level out.
I decided to go gluten free after I met a cute gal who wrote a gluten-free article and she told me about more symptoms of celiacs and gluten sensitivity than I had heard of before. (Such as anemia, ADHD and thyroid problems) Then later that week I met Cam who is also gluten free, so I said heck let's try it. Was surprised to find out a few other people at the meetup were also gluten-free or were eating very healthy in general. But my decision to go gluten free kind of backfired with the moodiness, depression, headaches, brain fog and lethargy. I bought vitamins and went to a farmers market right away after I realized I was missing SOMETHING in my diet that was making me this way. I've leveled out more and am back to normal, if not a bit better with the brain fog., but the mood swings are still here.
How would you suggest I up my fat intake? I don't even know where to start, most of my fat is from meats and oils. Guess it's time to read some guides?
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@Marchosias You're right! That's how I explain it to people. It's essentially bisexual except it lets queers know that I'm completely comfortable with them. If a FtoM meets me, and I tell them I'm pansexual, they can feel comfortable pursuing or befriending me. While if they meet a straight woman, they will always have that gut feeling of "maybe they wont accept me once they find out I don't have a dick". I never once felt I was bisexual, but when I learned about pansexuality I immediately identified with it. Immediately. Bisexuality has never spoken to me like pan has. It accomplishes a lot more than just expressing my sexuality, it also expresses how I view queer people. Hitting two birds with one stone = shortcut that I will most definitely take advantage of.
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@Laney: I've been thinking about how to answer your question further, but it's hard to answer in a brief enough way. Not without at least triggering half the forum. So, uhm, trigger warning.
Men value youth, beauty, and traits like fertility, kindness, submissiveness. Women mostly value status, power, money, strength, dominance. The sun and moon comparison comes to mind. Modern third wave feminists will tell you that's oppressive, but the reality is that it's what makes everyone the happiest.
With that in mind, it makes no sense for me to pursue women of my age. An average 30 year old woman's had a number of boyfriends, which means a lot of emotional baggage that may cause all sorts of problems. Depending on her lifestyle and genetics, she may have anywhere from 0 to 10 years of looking good (there are exceptions, but come on) while that's not the case with 20 year olds.
I also don't care about her career since I'd much prefer to consider myself the provider and her a stay at home mom -- there are massive benefits in home schooling your children anyway, and I wouldn't be able to do it. Besides, if she has children in her early 20s, she then has the majority of her life to pursue any kind of career she wants once the kids are grown up enough.
There's a popular quote that describes the above attitude. It should go without saying that it's heavily sarcastic:
"Let her date a ton of other guys and live the party lifestyle. What's important is that you are there for her when she is ready to get serious and date a responsible man who will support her financially. I will catch her when she falls, and when she's done with her last "bad boy" boyfriend, she will come to my shoulder to cry on. And when she's at her sexiest and most financially stable of 35 years we will share the perfect kiss on the beach side. That is true love."
There will always be exceptions. Women who only want a career, people who are close to the middle of the gender spectrum and just want to do their own thing, those with atypical sexual orientations, etc. But these are all minorities.
That said, I'm still not sure if I should even reproduce considering my leanings towards things like depression and addiction. But it just takes one look to how a common man thinks to realize I very likely should.
Thank you for answering! Also tagging takes a while, you have to type in @Laney and click on the popup window(may not load right away) to fully tag.
As a pansexual female, I'd rather not date a person who follows this view of male vs female in relationships. I am not denying it isn't accurate--but since I'm one of the minorities you mentioned, it's not very useful for me and I find it rather droll. Same as I don't care for a dominant man anymore (or submissive). Which brings me to a thought about The Goat, or Who is Sylvia? A play about a man who falls in love with a goat during an equal marriage with his rl partner. He feels demasculated and is unsatisfied in his relationship with his wife, not because he doesn't love her, but subconsciously he feels like he doesn't have that much worth since they don't have the dominant/submissive husband/wife relationship. But an equal one. Not that there is any real correlation between this play and relationships irl, I wonder how possible it is for me to have a fulfilling longterm relationship with a man who isn't queer.
Back to your post, intelligent men dating the hot idiots used to make me extremely uncomfortable. Growing up I was an INTJ--highly logical/analytical for a girl, only about 0.5% of the female population overall. I was entirely about practicality and intelligence, who cares about the people who can't follow my thoughts. It was a struggle to understand the male desire for only the body and not the mind. Reading your journal does recall some of those uncomfortable feelings from back then, which is why I wanted a more in depth explanation from you. This feeling I would describe as jealousy and insecurity. Even though I am in my prime SMV, and know how to dress myself provocatively, I am not one of the normal women, and won't ever be. But I think that's okay. I am not sure I properly understood the root of the jealousy I felt towards hot women objectified by men until now.
Note: I've since developed my empath and feeling sides and am now an ENFJ (Although the last three are about half and half, so more like EXXX)
About two weeks ago I went gluten free, and after reading about ketosis, I'm pretty sure I went into a ketogenic state these past few weeks. Hrm. But anyway! Food can still be fun! Try to focus on what you can eat instead of what you can't. You'll have more fun with it. Although it is more expensive
PS: I've seen the last Cam's video. You are all very qt <3.
Wew! Yes! Everyone is a fantastic character.
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I forgot I took pictures! These three were walking together and I snuck a photo. @kortheo @Cam Adair The second is our view of the ocean, the third our blanket towel situation where we all sat! The day was perfect for being at the beach.
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Anything like this, @Cam Adair ? https://www.youtube.com/embed/Wq4U02qOKEc annnd https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Irb4xeklQFU
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Attraction alone doesn't answer my question, unless you're only dating for sex. You don't care about the mental? The stability of a job in a partner? The lower chance to have a drastic change in persona/life goals. That's the only relevant data in my mind to someone dating significantly younger for more than just sex.
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I feel that getting together with a group of like-minded people who were/are striving to free themselves of the same struggle, and having an honest authentic conversation about it FOR THE FIRST TIME in my life is a really big deal! So long overdue :D. So I'm very grateful to you all who were open to listening to each other and sharing your own story, it was very inspiring. Definitely a hard thing to do, but it feels like a big relief for me personally, and hope it was as helpful for everyone else.
This meet was a huge deal. Not many people understand game quitting, and having that barrier gone allowed for meaningful connections and understanding about where we're at and why we're doing it. I resonate with your analogy that we're trying to free ourselves from it, that's how it feels for me.
It was also fun hanging out on the beach after the main meetup with @kortheo and @laney. Thanks for putting up with my harmonica skills, it makes me want to learn to play better
You were fantastic at it! I was so stoked you had one with you. Perfect perfect time <3 across the universe will have a warm feeling behind it now.
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@Marchosias I don't quite follow your second paragraph, so I'll reply to the first portion. That's a good thing you're not too worried about dating. Is there a reason you are looking for girls ten years younger than you? I mean. I've dated men more than ten years my senior before, but I'm curious to hear about it from the other side. Are older women not as attractive? Will you be okay with your partner when she's older and not a young qt anymore?
This is not about gaming - Journal
in Daily Journals
Posted
This is soooo true! That's what I love about this forum and this community. It's full of people discovering themselves.
Games were this distraction that kept us from hearing parts of ourselves that are quieter...more in the background. Getting rid of that noise not only gives us more time in the day, but it gives us the ability to expand ourselves. To try new things and see what works and what doesn't! It's full of endless possibilities and the freedom and possible future is almost scary it's so exciting.