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About Laney

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  1. Laney added a post in a topic Relapsed with full awareness   

    Yes I love that energy and drive you have to fix this! You are capable, and you've seen that letting go of the steam account will be a great step for you. I think you should complete the process and you'll be surprised by what a burden you've let go of.
    I'm proud of you for coming back and there's no judgment here. Only support for the future and for you! Good luck, hope to see your journal entries around
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  2. Laney added a post in a topic Laney's Journal   

    Man. It's a tough to stay positive when multiple all back out of your plan last minute. BUT my awesome buddy Ian is going still, and I'll love him forever for that. He is always reliable (not in being on time but he always does what he says he will) Time to dance the night away and hang with fantastic people in DTLA.
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  3. Laney added a post in a topic Hey   

    Oh hey Colin! If you live in SoCal we should meet up and brew your beans! They better be fantastic -insert high expectations here-
    I also have a great summer drink if you're interested in the process. It involves espresso, ice  and something you'd probably never think to use with coffee.
    Welcome to the forums, I hope this place can help you in your journey.
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  4. Laney added a post in a topic Journal of a Gamer Mom (possibly a manifesto too)   

    Have you been designing any of these quotes you're posting? 
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  5. Laney added a post in a topic Journal of a Gamer Mom (possibly a manifesto too)   

    Hey there miss mom!! First off I want you to truly step back and look at this decision you made to quit. This is a hard decision for anyone to make--and you've done it all on your own. You are strong. 
    Not only do you have the inner strength to take the steps towards a healthy life(already done, yeaaah!), you have the ability to grow as a person and progress in life. You've had it all along but it's been shushed by games and false progress. Not only will this decision grow you, everything else in your life will benefit as a result of you knowing yourself better. Your son from a more active mother. Your husband from more diverse time spent with his wife (what fun adventures await!! camping? sports? poetry nights? squeee~). The barista at Starbucks from a customer that noticed them and had more to say than their order. Your career, your community, your health. Everything!
    Anyway, your struggles sound eerily similar to mine; making lists and ignoring them, thinking poorly of yourself/guilty for not having achieved more, ignoring-not facing-the disappointment you feel when you look at your life, etc. My own journey with quitting games taught me how to forgive myself, and notice progress. I hope it can do the same for you too. Progress is not something that happens overnight, it's something that builds slowly. Social media makes us check in with people only when big events happen in their lives. When really it's all the small events that truly show how a person is growing. You'll even see in my journal entry today I had to remind myself I was doing well! How silly is that? 
    So here's a reminder. You are doing fantastic.  None of us are perfect and we don't expect you to be Wonder Woman in a few days or weeks. We are glad you are here.
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  6. Laney added a post in a topic Laney's Journal   

    Picture post!
    1. Proof my journal is turning into a Kurt Vonnegut novel

    2.The best picture I took at EDC 2016

    3/4/5. The gift I sent out to a random girl I didn't know (secret santa via reddit)

    6&7 Favorites of grafitti in San Francisco

    8. Always keep yourself open to possibilities. This performance was a few steps away, and we found it because we cared to listen. Side of the LA river.

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  7. Laney added a post in a topic Laney's Journal   

    oh my gosh yes, the RAINBOW was fantastic!!!! I was following it for what seemed forever. Gorgeous.
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  8. Laney added a post in a topic Laney's Journal   

    Thanks Alex, and everyone else commenting/liking support
    I'm not sure what my relationship with video games is right now. I know for a fact it doesn't include MMO's, and that I don't feel my addiction anymore. Games are no longer a need. Which is fantastic! Feels so good to say! And it's also why I feel safe coming here. GQ is biggest reason I am where I am right now, and I want to continue improving myself and supporting others.
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  9. Laney added a post in a topic Laney's Journal   

    Just a personal update, need to write journaling stuff later
    Gym membership achieved! +1
    Dating someone who is active and inspires me +1
    Eating in more often +1
    Scheduled psychologist appointment for the first time in two years!! +1
    Being assertive with my health (doctor appointments, wisdom teeth removal, etc) +1
    Using a refillable water bottle instead of wasting plastic +1
    Shadowrun is way more productive AND happening more often +1
    Signing up for classes +1
    Car is always clean +1
    Room is clean half of the time 0
    Not writing any responses for Peg -1
    Being unenthused with work and letting that affect my performance -1
    Spending too much money on people, dating and outdoor gear -1
    Not following up with your friend in jail -1
    Overall: +5  Try to remember those negatives don't make you a failure, Laney. You are making healthy decisions and progress and doing well all around.
    @Ashley K. ^ what I referenced in your journal
    Goals for this week:
    Be more supportive of roommate and her art job, she's struggling, spend time with her--wooden pallet? food?
    Gym 3-5 days a week - get that heart healthy and body stronger and GAIN WEIGHT jfc you're 108 girl
    Write in journal a few times a week about J, you know you're forgetful. Many important things are going to slip away.
    Things to ponder on:
    Why are you less anxious? Gluten-free or probiotics.... or both? Perhaps in the near future I can re-introduce gluten on a small level to find out.
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  10. Laney added a post in a topic This is not about gaming - Journal   

    This is soooo true! That's what I love about this forum and this community. It's full of people discovering themselves.
    Games were this distraction that kept us from hearing parts of ourselves that are quieter...more in the background.  Getting rid of that noise not only gives us more time in the day, but it gives us the ability to expand ourselves. To try new things and see what works and what doesn't! It's full of endless possibilities and the freedom and possible future is almost scary it's so exciting.
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  11. Laney added a post in a topic San Diego \ Southern California Meetup   

    I think this would be a great idea. 
    Edit: I also kind of want to plan a backpacking trip 
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  12. Laney added a post in a topic Laney's Journal   

    I had forgotten what a surreal day that was for me, the 7th of March..the day of my journal entry (above).
    This was a day of mourning, of disbelief, of processing. It was also destructive and beautiful.
    I had driven to pick up an item and locked myself out of my car for the first time in over a year. I had planned on visiting this cake shop for my family after, so after being unlocked I went. As I was about to park someone slammed on their accelerator and drove into the shop I was going to visit. 

    The odd feeling was that I could have been in that store had I not locked myself out of my car. Weird.
    My somber self then decided I wasn't ready to face what had happened the day before, at least not at home. (Relapse) I noticed it was raining in the distance, With storm clouds as my guide I drove with no goal in mind except to meet it. I drove towards it. I drove into it. I followed it into the mountains where it fell, now lightly, onto my skin. And I spent a few hours writing. There was a deep yearning inside me for those moments in the mountain to never go away. 

    Eventually the sun faded from the mountains. My stomach ached for sustenance. I recalled the long drive home. Reality began to come back and sobered me from my writing phase.

    By the time I got home it was dark. I posted my poem. I went to bed.
    ** Sorry for the odd post. Revisiting old thoughts and feelings. My journal tends to be styled more Vonnegut anyway. No, I enjoy this entry. Done apologizing. Take it or leave it.
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  13. Laney added a post in a topic Daily Journal   

    ♥♥♥ Your first two days make me so happy! Getting rid of the physical distraction, joining the forums, writing a journal, taking the time to plan your days and being present with yourself.  
    The itch didn't appear for me right away either, it was a bit surreal at the beginning, as if it were an exciting temporary thing. Making it an always thing happens over time, which the 90 days is perfect for that. 
    Reconnecting with people became much easier for me too. I'm much more in the moment now. Giving people my full attention, when before I'd be consumed with thoughts of games, or bored in the presence of people who used to entertain me.  Hope it goes well:)
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  14. Laney added a post in a topic This is not about gaming - Journal   

     How funny that you mention this. The first time I met @Cam Adair, he had a notebook that he carried everywhere with him. He took notes of a few things I said and it felt as if he were paying real attention to my thoughts. Much more personal than taking out your phone while talking to someone.
    So now after meeting Cam I have since bought my own notebook! It's not that large, can fit in your pocket. I know the phone notebook is useful--and even I use one for lists and thoughts--but for people I always use a physical notebook now. I highly encourage it
    Sorry to hear about your friends.  You'll discover those who understand and encourage you, and those who will tempt you back as well. Some people can't fathom quitting, nor could even I a year ago.  It's painful to receive such negative reactions from people you care about, but you are more important and deeper than what they imagine for you. 

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  15. Laney added a post in a topic Detox day 1: And so it begins...   

    It truly does help, the people here. I look forward to the changes and progress in your life. Welcome to the forums, Alex
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