nowaydown1

Day 9 Eek. I haven't kept up with my Daily Journal very well. I'm still experiencing some withdrawal symptoms, but they've changed a bit in nature. Before, where my desire would be somewhat constant, I now get shorter periods of super intense desire to do some gaming. It doesn't seem to correlate to any real world stress or trigger that I can identify, so I guess it's just my brain's way of saying that it's pissed that I'm not giving it the sweet sweet dopamine surge it desires. To combat this, I've been keeping super busy. I received some of my electronics books in the mail, and I'm spending a bunch of time reading them every day. It takes up a huge chunk of time. My brain is still trying to rationalize the gaming habit, I get thoughts like "You're spending hours just sitting here reading, you could be using that time to have some fun gaming instead!". I've found a few things that seem to help me during these times: Going back and looking at the 'Reasons I Want To Quit' list I created after reading Respawn.A change in scenery. Getting up and walking away from whatever I'm doing at that moment, if only for a few minutes.Reminding myself that the time I'm putting towards studying is getting me closer to a real goal that has real world value. Browsing /r/StopGaming and reading other people's stories.@Mhyrion Thanks for the good advice. It helped and I'm happy to report things are no longer an issue. Some of the things that I'm still struggling with are my long term projects that I want to accomplish (Finish writing my book, and finish building a software product that I've been working on forever). Every time I sit down to try to work on either of these I just can't seem to get any forward traction. Because of the gaming habit, both projects have been stalled for a long time now. I guess in some ways, those projects have negative emotions tied to them because I was forever chastising myself for not being disciplined enough to do what needs to be done with them. So now that all the bummer stuff is covered, on to the good stuff. I have noticed some life improvements that I'm super happy about: I'm spending way more time with my wife and daughter than I used to. If my daughter is trying to get my attention and is excited about something, I have no problem setting aside whatever it is I'm doing at that moment to engage with her. I've also noticed that my patience has improved on days where she's acting out.I'm doing a better job of keeping in touch with real life friends and trying to nurture those relationships. My social circle is extremely small, but the people in it are friends I've had for the majority of my life.I do feel a small sense of pride knowing that the things I'm dedicating my time towards now are the things that count. It's not perfect everywhere, but I still feel like I've achieved something by heading in the right direction.Things I'm Grateful For: An understanding and supportive wife. My brother who has always been an ear and a rock I can turn to during tough times. Goals: Drop my wife and daughter off so I can heist our car for the day. Run errands. Work on my software project for 30 minutes, even if all I do is run down the clock staring at it.

Day 4 I managed to knock out the laundry I was putting off and do about an hour of cleaning. I made some tweaks to my weekend schedule to allocate way more flex time for my daughter. Rather than using a strict schedule, I've just broken things down into two different categories, things I must get done that day, and things that would be nice to do if time permits. I'm going to try that this coming weekend and see how it goes. I've still been doing meditation and it seems to be helping with my patience and focus. I was really feeling the withdrawal today. I caught myself trying to rationalize excuses.... "Well if I went and bought a Switch it wouldn't be as bad since I wouldn't be gaming online.... AND I'm sure I'd be able to balance that a lot better..... just play for a little while and then do what I need to do". Quiet, brain. I didn't cave, but I was feeling weak in that moment for sure. I got up and walked into the other room for a bit which seemed to help. I'm finding it somewhat difficult to get into a regular rhythm with my daily schedule. On occasion I'll oversleep and then guilt sets in. I keep trying to remind myself that I can still just get on board with wherever I am in that day's schedule and make the best of what's left of the day. Harder than it sounds. My wife is super into a game right now that she keeps raving about. If it keeps up I'm not sure if it's something I should talk to her about or what. On the one hand, she just does it to chill out and her behaviors are way more healthy than mine ever were, so it'd feel weird for her to spend her evening different on account of me. On the other hand I could do something else to distance myself from the situation during her times when she's gaming, but I know she will ask me why I'm always making myself scarce in the evenings. I don't want to make her feel bad, as it's something she enjoys, but it's almost like trying to stop drinking and then going and hanging at the pub every night with a bunch of friends that drink. I'm sure as the days continue on I'll figure out strategies that work for me. Just a learning experience.

I thought for sure you were going to tell us that you managed to strike up a conversation in the toilet of the pub. One guy in the stall to your left, the other in the stall to your right. Dang. I totally understand what you mean about not wanting to hang out in the pub and be a part of that scene, but I'd encourage you to give people who live their lives in a different sphere a go on occasion. Sure, sometimes you'll just wind up with a guy who goes on about how much Jack Daniels he can put away and how his ex is a tramp, but you might also stumble into something really interesting. A few years ago, I was in the hospital for a while. While I was there I noticed there was another older patient there who looked to be in his 60s. He was trying to make conversation with some of the other patients, but he was kind of guy that struck you as odd and nobody was really interested in sticking around to hear what he had to say. Now, I'm not really a people person. Plop me in the middle of a party and I'm the guy in the corner browsing the internet on his phone. But I figured I had no other place to be just then, so I decided to strike up a conversation. He told me all about his life, the places that he lived, how he built his own business from nothing and turned it into a multi-million dollar company. He told me about the crazy times he had with his wife in his 20's when he first started seeing some money and he wasn't wise enough to hold on to it. We talked about our kids and he told me all the mistakes that he felt he made as a father, and what he would do differently if given the chance. I found out that he was an extremely accomplished sketch artist. I actually still have one of his sketches that he gave me in storage. We talked for hours. Looking back, I think the experience was a positive one for both of us. He was a really interesting guy whose story I wouldn't have heard if I hadn't let myself be open to that opportunity. So once in a while if you find yourself off the beaten path, go for it anyway. Worst case, you'll have an anecdote about the worst conversation you ever had. Have you come up with a plan for next Sunday so boredom doesn't set in quite as much? P.S. That bit with the dude at the pool was hilarious.

As someone just getting started on the trek, I think it's awesome you're almost to 90 days already. That's an accomplishment. Do you enjoy being a paramedic? I have no firsthand experience, but it strikes me as the kind of thing that would be super rewarding at times and super stressful too. At any rate, welcome to the forums!

Hey Popol. Try not to beat yourself up over the PS4 thing. I know it doesn't always feel that way, but try to remember that your past isn't indicative of your future. You can beat this. Welcome!

@Remigjus Thanks for the encouragement. Don't worry it looks like I'm catching up to you. What would you say the hardest part of the transition for you has been?

Day 2 & 3 My daughter helped me discover the schedule that I set for weekends is too rigid. She's four now, so I told her to call my receptionist to see if there was some way I could pencil her in -- but she wasn't having it. Just kidding. But it's clear that I need to just block off larger blocks of flexible time that can keep up with her needs. The weekend was sort of a train wreck for hitting goals. I did manage to get some exercise and have some good play time with my daughter, but I totally procrastinated on laundry and getting some of the work tasks I had on my plate wrapped up. I have been starting to feel some withdrawal these past two days. My wife is a gamer (in a much more healthy manner) so it's hard being in the same area when she's gaming without feeling some withdrawal pangs. Introspectively, I think it's more of a nostalgia thing than an action that I would genuinely derive enjoyment from. Brains are weird. So far no relapse, but these past two days were certainly harder than the first. I bought a few used electronics books off eBay to use as a new mental activity. Should keep me busy for a while. Tomorrow begins a new week, so I'm looking forward to making some adjustments and trying to get the schedule system back in place. Grateful For: Discovering meditation. It's something I look forward to in the mornings now. Emotions: Kinda bummed that I wasn't able to get things on the rails a bit more over the weekend. Goals For Tomorrow: Meditation. Do the laundry I've been putting off. Clean for 30 minutes. Come up with a new schedule for weekends.

Day 1 Today was my first full day without gaming in a long time. I was able to accomplish all four of the goals I set. I built out a schedule, meditated, drank water and didn't game. I'm doing my mediation using Calm, and I like it so far. I was surprised by how much time I had in my day without gaming. I was able to make some progress cleaning out some junk from my bedroom closet -- a project I've been putting off for weeks now. I was able to put together a daily schedule, which I'll start on tomorrow. Grateful For: My daughter and a supportive wife. Emotions: Calm, Patient Goals For Tomorrow: Meditation. Do a load of laundry, fold it and put it away. Clean for 30 minutes. Exercise. Have 30 minutes of mindful play time with my daughter. Follow the daily schedule.

Hey Brad, Thanks for sharing your adventures with us. I love the candid nature of your journal. I can totally relate to your struggles with the tape measure. I feel like every time I'm ready to buckle down and get some real work done I have a similar experience: http://www.memes.com/searchresults/gif/166161 I think it's awesome you're just going for the challenges from Cam. That's huge. I look forward to reading about your days ahead.

Hey Jin. Thanks for the update. It sounds like you've been really busy lately! How have things been going on the gaming front? From your intro post it sounds like you are a really accomplished player. That must be a really tough thing to distance yourself from. How are you finding IOP? Anything good coming out of that? Hope you're having a great week!

Hey @Raven! Sorry to hear that you're under the weather. That's awesome you were still able to work out and get your house cleaned up. That's one of the things Cam talks about in Respawn, not allowing our feelings to dictate our actions. It's an easy thing to say out loud, but way harder to do, so props! You're working hard and moving in the right direction. Keep us updated!

Hey Remigjus, Thanks for the kind words. I was able to knock out my schedule today so I'll be starting on that tomorrow. Feels good to make some progress!

Day 0 So I decided to charge ahead and stop gaming after realizing some of the negative impacts it's having on my life. I couldn't quite bring myself to nuke my Steam library just yet, so I changed all my passwords to randomly generated strings, sent the passwords to my wife, asked her not to surrender them under any circumstances and then deleted the email from my sent emails. Not ideal, but I think it's still a step forward so I'm taking it as a win. I talked with my wife for some time and asked her to be my accountability partner to which she's agreed. Emotions: Anxious, Stressed, Depressed Accomplishments: Read Respawn. Took action to take control and improve things instead of continually going through the motions. Goals For Tomorrow: Build a daily schedule. Meditate. Drink more water. Zero games.

Greetings all, I'm Chris. Like many of you, I started gaming when I was child. My grandmother had a Commodore 64 that I had my first gaming experiences on and I've been hooked ever since. A significant amount of time in my life has been spent gaming. While I've always held this as more of a passionate hobby, as I've been getting older I've started to recognize that my hobby has progressed to the point where I'm no longer actually living my life. Both my parents have passed on in the last few years unexpectedly, and I've used gaming as a way of escaping from these and other difficult life events. I spend anywhere from 8-12 hours a day gaming online. It's to the point where I've stopped taking care of myself and I'm just going through the motions. There are a lot of things that I've been trying to work towards over the past year that I've been unable to make real progress on because of my gaming habit. I guess I've finally hit a point where I realize something needs to change. I've gone through periods where I've forced myself to take breaks from gaming, and looking back on those experiences I realize that life always seems better during those times. Beyond games, I've been a computer programmer for most of my life. I collect typewriters and have a strong interest in local history. I have an amazing wife and a beautiful little girl. Thanks to Cam and you awesome people who are taking time from your lives to support strangers like myself on the forums. You rock. Thanks for reading, Chris