NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
seriousjay
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Posts posted by seriousjay
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23 hours ago, all4game said:
1) Another reflection so far is that without games, time seems to slow down, not to a grinding halt, but it is noticeably slower. I noticed that I do not stay up as late or sleep later either, which was never a great problem, but I would much rather go to sleep and wake the same time and get 8-9 hours of sleep instead of 6-7 hours and have various sleeping and awaking times.
2) I still wonder why 90 days. Is it because it sounds nice and it is 3 (30 day) months and 1/4 a year, I wonder. I have heard this as a magical number for detox from gaming and porn, but why? I haven't found studies to suggestion why, I seems to be a made up number. I would greatly appreciate if someone could link to some info and studies on this.
1) I noticed this too. I think it's because everything is greatly sped up in video games. Days are much shorter, there's none of the boring day-to-day stuff in between exciting events, relationships develop over a matter of hours instead of months or years, etc. The further removed you become from games the less this will impact you. I know I've seen my patience improve substantially.
2) The point of quitting games isn't to quit them, but rather to replace them with habits that lead to a more productive life. If you quit games for 90 days and do nothing to change your day-to-day, odds are you'll just go back to games after 90 days. I can't speak to anything about dopamine receptors or anything like that but the 90 days was never about that, to me.
Also, I think cravings sort of work on a bell curve kind of thing. They'll go down over time but you'll still have those peaks of intense cravings from time to time. For me about 6 or 8 months in I ended up spending a month on Terraria before putting it back down. It does get better over time, I can vouch for that!
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Lol try quitting World of Warcraft. They pull out all the stops, including crying orcs and a massive list of popular reasons why people have quit in the past and answers to them.
I've heard Blizzard hired psychologists to make WoW as addicting as possible.
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So the other day it fully sunk in for me how important self-love is when it comes to just about everything. I've been hearing about it a lot over the past year or so, but now I'm actually starting to intentionally live it. It makes it so much easier to deny temptations and other things that don't serve me when I'm framing that denial as an act of self-love. I'm also finding my inner critic has a lot less power over me as well.
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On 3/18/2019 at 4:21 AM, Recovering said:
Have you guys ever believe that your mind voluntary wants to destroy you, to take you down ? I call it tyranny of my own mind.
I can totally relate to this. It's called your negative self critic. Seems like yours has a pretty firm grasp on your mind.
Try meditation, practicing gratitude, listening to positive and uplifting music, find people that uplift and support you, etc.
Basically, just surround yourself with as much positivity and encouragement as you can. Find things that make you feel good about yourself, like people, hobbies, etc.
Good luck! We're here to help. ?
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So after a few days of practicing gratitude twice a day with just whatever comes to mind, I think I'm really starting to see some benefits. For some reason practicing verbally instead of noting it in my journal is making a big difference.
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5 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:
Hey Jay, I think this has to do with your gaming past. I experience this too but it gets better the more time passes and the more faded my memories of strong adrenaline times become. You can't avoid or change the feeling of these hobbies being work, your mind is used to video games mechanics which reward us all the time for barely anything. What you can do is, because you know one is a real self improvement thing whereas gaming wasn't, you can insist and do the hobbies anyway. You'll probably rewire your brain like this, because you'll give it new experiences that include satisfaction despite the initial bias.
In other words, accept the bias and just do it anyway. It was unavoidable for me, but if you read my journal it's what got me away from it all for good this time.
Thanks for your comment.
I pretty much came to the same conclusions. Just keep working at it and continue putting distance between my current self and my gaming past.
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Yesterday, I came to the realization that I'm really not a very grateful person at all. I was driving to my mom's house and it dawned on me that I really do have a lot to be grateful for, but because there are things that I want and don't have, it isn't enough. I get the sense that if I continue along this path, there is no amount of anything that could satisfy me.
This was hammered home when I got to my mom's house and looked up "how to be grateful for the things you have" on google. There were a bunch of lists of things to be grateful for, and I clicked one of the links. When I started reading the list, there were so many items that definitely applied to me but never even occurred to me to be grateful for.
So I'm really going to take gratitude practice to heart. I'm going to take a few minutes each morning and evening to appreciate the things I have in my life, and when I get stressed out or things start going somewhat awry during the day, I'm going to try to remind myself that even though some things aren't going the way I want at that moment, there are still plenty of things I can be happy about.
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Hey there, one thing to bear in mind is that everything that isn't games or gaming related is likely to feel boring at first after quitting games. Please do not be discouraged by this. Continue exploring other activities. You may not be interested in the activities the first time, but give it a chance and you may find them growing on you. Remember that passion isn't something you just have, it is cultivated by investing into something. The more time and energy you spend on something, the more that thing will mean to you. That doesn't mean you'll be passionate about everything, as there will be a lot of activities that you genuinely just don't care about, but keep exploring and you'll eventually find a few things that you really love!
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The best way I can think of to handle this is to identify activities that your son can engage in that he both enjoys, but also creates a sense of pride, accomplishment and community for him. Music lessons, martial arts, summer camps are all things that might work. We naturally gravitate towards the things that make us feel good. Gaming offers that promise but never actually delivers on it. So it's important to involve him in activities that make him feel good about what he's doing long after he's stopped the activity.
Maybe sit down with him, organize a schedule and set some goals? Ask him about things he'd like to do that aren't games and then go about scheduling those activities with him. Find blocks of time that work for everyone, so that way he knows it's coming and there can be no excuses to not do them. You will probably meet some resistance at first; handle this compassionately. Ultimately he has to agree to anything on his own or it won't last very long.
Also, most importantly, don't actually take the games away. This will never, ever work. It will only create feelings of hatred within him. If you can both agree that he can continue playing games during certain hours, as long as he also participates in other activities, he will have to agree with you. Like I said, there will likely be some resistance to it at first, but I think he will come around.
The unfortunate thing about this kind of situation is that your son isn't even aware, most likely, of the damage he is doing to himself. If he's anything like me, he may wait until his 20's until he realizes he needs to change, and at that point it's extremely difficult. He's really lucky to have a parent that cares enough about him to try to do something about it. Best of luck!
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13 hours ago, dahankus said:
Very true
@seriousjay You actually learned a great wisdom from your experience. The key now is to constantly make yourself remember it, I do this with the journal. My morning coffee has become my moment of insight into my own mindset, and I read some of my previous posts in order to catch a bit of my own wisdom, before it fades away.
As to answer your question, I don't have turning point, its a process for me. Every decision, every action is a vote, for the kind of person you want to be. And one action doesn't matter much if the overall trend in your life is improvement. I love this approach because then the "wrong" action is not as important as the "right" action, as one bas choice will not ruin your progress and one good choice will ALWAYS improve your life. This removes the feeling of guilt for skipping gym or anything like that, instead you focus on doing it tomorrow.
This is something I learned a long time ago. Do not beat yourself up over a perceived failure. The irony about being extremely hard on yourself is that it often tends to lead to even further regression. Just accept that it's OK and do better next time.
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1 hour ago, JustTom said:
I think everyone NEEDS to have both a positive and a negative vision.
You need to have a vision of your ideal life, of something you want to achieve, of something that matters to you that you think is worth fighting for. And on the other hand, you also need to have a vision of how your life would look like if you didn't try. The "worst case scenario" in a sense. That vision is scary. In life, both positive and negative motivation have value and are most effective together.
That's a good point. I've done that exercise before. I imagine myself on my death bed, not having even attempted the things I was most passionate about because of fear or what have you, and usually what I feel is a total sense of dread. That person who is so successful at the thing that I wanted to do - that could have been me! When you really allow yourself to feel into that vision, it makes it really hard to justify NOT going for the thing you dream about.
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So as I posted in another thread, yesterday I forgot to go to the gym because I was busy playing video games. I fully intended to, but forgot until about 9 PM, when I turned off the game to get ready for bed. In other words, when I unplugged from the game and plugged back in to real life.
I need to change my mindset towards down time. So many things I want to do, like reading and writing, just feel like work. I need to find a way to experience joy from doing those things, among others, and place less emphasis on being entertained.
If anyone has any ideas for how to actually do this, I'd really appreciate the help. Specifically, @Cam Adair, maybe you have some suggestions? Maybe this is something worth making a video about?
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Keep it up my friend! I recently experienced something of a relapse as well but with each relapse, you'll get new insights into why it's happening and ways you can do better next time.
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I ask this question publicly because I've been asking it of myself for a little while now. I thought I was over gaming, had been game free for over half a year, until I started gaming again. For about the last month I've been gaming on and off. Yesterday was something of a breaking point for me. I had fully intended to go to the gym to make up a missed session on Thursday, but then because I was too busy gaming, I forgot to go until 9 PM, when I was getting ready to go to bed (ie., I had unplugged from the game and plugged back in to real life).
I've also recently started to wonder if I ever actually got over that gaming habit. I've come to learn that some science suggests habits are never broken, people just replace the method in which the desired result is achieved. I believe now that when I quit gaming, I simply replaced it with other forms of mindless entertainment, in this case Netflix. It was nowhere near as self destructive as gaming had been, but I had my bingey days as well.
I've come to realize and accept that what really needs to change is my mindset towards down time. What I mean by that is, anything that isn't watching something on TV or Netflix, or gaming, simply feels like work. Reading, writing, learning an instrument, geocaching are all things I've tried and they all felt like and still feel like work. Hell, it took me a LONG time to enjoy going to the gym, and even then there are days when I really don't want to go. So, I need to shift my thinking towards embracing a habit of productive down time instead of just mindlessly consuming content. Until this happens, I don't think I'll ever really be over this gaming/entertainment addiction.
I'm curious if there's something that you guys have identified as something that NEEDS to happen in order for you to feel like you've finally turned the corner. Maybe we can help each other out. ?
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Physical activity releases seratonin, the feel good hormone, not dopamine.
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What's even more valuable, and something you can never, ever get back, is the time you have spent in the past and the time you may spend playing video games in the future.
Even an account "worth" $10,000 USD isn't worth the 4-8 hours a day a person may end up spending playing those games.
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You cannot help anyone that doesn't want to help themselves. Period.
If someone isn't ready to make a change, the best advice in the world coming from the most respected person in their field will do nothing.
I agree that all you can do is become the best person you can be and that might inspire them to change. You can't really do much else.
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- Got a LOT of paperwork stuff done today at work!
- Finally figured out the employee situation at work! I think we'll be good.
- Got my deadlifts and squats both up over 300 pounds for 5 reps this week.-
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- I had a surprisingly good time dealing with government employees today. I was expecting something much different, so that was good.
- Greek yogurt!
- Kicked ass at the gym today. -
OK after a few days off..
- Even though I got upset at my dad over something stupid at work today, I got over it rather quickly and thanked him for his helping me earlier in the day. That felt pretty good.
- Did amazing on my calorie budget today.
- Planning something to do with my friends on Sunday! -
- It wasn't much of an urge but I nevertheless fought off getting a second coffee today.
- Giving my employees a day off tomorrow felt strangely satisfying. Probably has to do with the fact that it's going to get very busy soon.. lol.
- Took Damian to his volleyball game. I'm not really one to go crazy with cheering but it was a great time. -
- Got up mostly on time today!
- Didn't allow some unexpected circumstances at work to get me down.
- Managed to get out to the gym on my own for the first time in over a week. -
What's really helped me to remember things is very simple: I started putting important events into my Google calendar. Also, meditation.
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OK I forgot to make a post yesterday for my gratitude journal so here it is:
- Hit snooze instead of turning my alarm clock off. I almost always just turn it off and end up getting back in bed.
- I had a pretty good writing session for my novel.
- Went to the gym despite feeling pretty damn tired.Today:
- I turned off my alarm clock instead of hitting snooze, but I still managed to get most of my morning routine in despite sleeping in for over an hour.
- Got my how to write sci-fi/fantasy books! Started reading one of them.
- Spent the night just watching a hockey game. It was a nice, relaxing change, even though my team lost.
Game Developers' Motives
in General Discussion
Posted
Yep although my knowledge is about 10 years out of date! ? Apparently enough people quit over nerfs to skills that they ended up throwing answers to things like that when you quit the game. Hilarious, really.