seriousjay

Whatever it is I wish it would just go away. Cam, you're right that I have you guys here, and I do appreciate that immensely. It just would be nice if I had someone I could interact with in real life regarding this stuff. Nothing really can replace in person interaction. EDIT: Huh.. interesting article that really flies in the face of virtually every personal development book. Might be worth a shot just to get started anyways.

Alex you make many good points here. I am also quite pleased to hear that I was able to help you along. To be honest, I think I've changed enough during this process that I've sort of moved on from games emotionally. I start playing them and just get absolutely no enjoyment. Within a couple hours, at most, I get bored out of my mind. Yet there seems to be a nearly dead part of me, clinging to life support, that is desperately trying to hold on to the video games. I keep convincing myself that the next one will be so good, but it always ends up the same, I get bored very quickly. This is just one of those times where I really wish I had someone in real life I could trust enough to talk to about this. Argh!

...it sound like you are giving up! I wouldn't worry for you if I read something where your willpower shines through. Something like: "I'll maintain my 7 disciplines. I will play for 30 minutes each day." What are your thoughts? Am I making any sense? Hey Tom! Sorry for the late reply. To be honest this relapsing has happened to me about 4 or 5 times now over the course of about a year and 1/3rd, to varying degrees of severity, so I'm not worried about it. Sooner or later I'll recommit to quitting. This time might happen much sooner, as I played about 5 or 6 hours of Fallout 4 yesterday and at no point playing it did I ever feel satisfied or like I was having any fun. Today I find myself not caring about it at all. Makes me wonder why I go back to the games at all.. Sigh. I fucking hate video games!

Yeah, oatmeal is pretty good, haha! Unfortunately, I have, in fact, relapsed. I knew it was coming based on how things were going lately so I decided I'm just going to get it over with. I'll maintain as much as I can of everything I've been doing so far so the game won't consume everything entirely. Fortunately, I gave away pretty much everything I own and the cravings were really for a game that I was planning on playing before I re-committed to quitting. I really have no idea what else is out there and I'd prefer to keep it that way.

Yep you've hit the nail squarely on the head. I do not currently read in bed, though. Maybe that's something I'll try. Ok, so the last couple of days.. Day 17 I didn't quite have the time to post about this day so I intended to post about it yesterday. Obviously, that didn't happen. Regardless, day 17 was pretty good. Not much to be said about it, I got in just about everything I wanted to do. I went on a rather challenging hike in very hilly terrain which tired me out quite a bit. Ended up hiking for 3.5 hours. Afterwards, I went to a board game meetup and played two games of Settlers of Catan. One of the other players seemed to actually take it quite seriously which I thought may have triggered my competitiveness but it was actually fine. That's a step forward compared to what happened at the euchre night a while ago! Things I was grateful for: My stamina. That hike was quite challenging and I was quite happy to have made it all the way.My friend Lara. She kind of brought up the rear with me during the hike and we had a really great conversation the whole way. Settlers of Catan. Probably my favorite board game ever.7 disciplines: For health, I did the usual walk and 11 pushups.For happiness, I'm still not sure yet what to do here.For relationships, I had some good conversations with a couple people I didn't know during Catan.For personal development, I actually got up at 7:30, yay!For finances, I paid my credit card debt.For my career, I might change this so I'll keep this open for now.For my impact on the world, I remember posting in someone else's journal. I think Alex's. Day 18 OK.. so this one was a mixed bag. I woke up at 6:30 AM for work and the day started off with a headache, and when I got to work, I was freezing my butt off for the first few hours. Not so good. I did manage to get my morning meditation in before work, so that was quite good, and work itself wasn't terrible either. The problem came near the end where I got the cravings for fast food again, though it wasn't as intense. I convinced myself, however, that I was going to order chicken wings again last night, largely out of fatigue, which I ended up doing. When I got home, I forced myself to do my walk (though I forgot about the pushups) and my daily reading, so I was quite happy about that, but I ended up ordering the chicken wings anyways, which seemed to cause a bit of a downward spiral. The rest of the night was very unproductive and I ended up watching a hockey game (3 hours long) and then 2 hours of a video game stream. Didn't get to bed until nearly 1:00 AM. So it was kind of a tossup, I did get in some of the stuff I wanted but I also slacked off on quite a few other things. I'm just going to chalk this one up to one of those inevitable "blah" kind of days and just reset myself for today. Worth noting is that my cravings to play video games are starting to get a little more intense. Just gonna have to ride them out. I'm catching myself with the thoughts of "just one more game", but the problem with that is, just one more game often turns into "and the next game after that". It's got to end somewhere. Things I was grateful for: The fact that I wasn't feeling too bad physically after the intense hike the day before.Oatmeal. A quick and easy breakfast.My car. Life would be so much harder without a means of transportation.7 disciplines: For health, I did the walk and forgot the pushups.For happiness, didn't think about it at all.For relationships, got nothing done.For personal development, I got up at 6:30.For finances, I forgot to pay yesterday.For my career, I actually started thinking of some ideas to make a business out of.For my impact on the world, I got nothing done.I'll post tomorrow about today.

Well the time I am GOING to bed certainly isn't an issue for me. The time I actually end up falling asleep, however.. I still don't know how my brother is able to fall asleep almost instantly upon hitting the sack! Whatever, it'll work itself out in time! I'll post a full journal entry about today, tomorrow.

Alex I think it's fantastic that you decided to not go to the Civ night. Keep it up you're doing great! Even if you hit little bumps along the road you can always bounce back as long as you don't give up!

So after a pretty good day I had a rather unproductive evening. My exhaustion tonight probably had a lot to do with my lack of motivation to do anything. There's also that I am getting tired of just reading and watching stuff. I want to actually do something! How did video games ever trick us into thinking that we were actually doing anything at all? We were just sitting there pressing buttons. I'm going to have to go through the 60 hobby list and just pick something to do. Or maybe figure something else out. Just anything to get myself moving. Having a business idea to work on would probably also work, but I am short on those. EDIT: I applied to volunteer at CityKidz and Bruce Trails. Hopefully it works out!

My personal opinion is don't do it. That being said, you know yourself best and it's totally up to you. Also, I agree with Florian that this would break your detox.

A morning routine would certainly help for sure! That, for me, isn't really the issue. I don't even allow myself to check my phone or anything else on the internet until I've completed my daily discipline stuff. It's more that I just feel really groggy and sleep still. I don't think the issue is the time I go to bed either - I'm usually in bed by 11:00 PM. I guess it's just going to be something I force myself to do!

Day 16 Once again I got up at 9:30. I don't know why I am having such a hard time getting up when I wake up. I am able to wake up exactly when I want to, but I always just end up going back to bed. Part of it is the temperature I guess, it's getting rather cold in the mornings. Another part of it is that I may be investing too much energy into how I "feel" in the morning. In one of the inspirational videos I watch, the guy says that nobody really cares to get up in the morning based on how they're feeling. That a lot of people don't reach their goals and dreams simply because they put way too much stock into their feelings. How true that is! If you always listen to your feelings, you won't get anywhere. We all do things on a daily basis that we don't necessarily like to do, but because we've made a commitment, we do them. That has nothing to do with feelings and everything to do with values. I suppose that's the approach I need to take when waking up. I committed to getting up at this time, so I gotta do it. Napolean Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" is a hard hitting and powerful book. Reading it brings about a lot of uncomfortable feelings for me so far. I've only read the first two chapters, and he talks a lot about having a burning desire to acquire riches, that in order to acquire riches, you must become obsessed with that idea. This is exactly the kind of attitude I'm not sure I want to have because it's so easy to get lost in the pursuit of riches and then completely forget everything else that's important. Yet he says, nobody can acquire riches without having a burning desire, backed by faith to acquire said riches. I'm just really torn by this. I want to be financially independent, and for me that's going to require at least $250,000 of annual income, just for me. I don't know why I picked that number other than I can't possibly imagine being able to spend that much money in a single year with my current values. I'd prefer to own a modest home, a modest car, have a modest lifestyle, maybe go on 2-3 vacations a year, but other than that, I have no real need for any money aside from what I'd need for essential stuff. The vast majority of my energy I want to focus on my family, and to do that, I don't want to be forced into working 60+ hours a week making someone else's dream come true while getting paid far less than I think I am worth. My timeline for this is to have this by January 2022. So in order to accomplish that, I know I need to either start a business or take up the reins of my dad's business. That being said, I have no idea what kind of business I'd start. I believe the reason for this is that I spent so many years of my life engrossed in video games and almost literally ignoring the rest of the world around me that I haven't taken the time to truly dive into anything else. I also don't really have any clue how to go about coming up with ideas that could become profitable. For now I am simply trusting that the path I am currently on will eventually lead me to that. Napolean Hill says that if I want that, I need a burning desire backed by faith that it can be done. I simply just don't want to lose myself in that process, and that idea is scary. I suppose I don't have much of a choice other than to trust that things will work out in the best possible way as long as I stay true to myself and stay the course. 3 things I'm grateful for: Grocery stores. It's really convenient to be able to buy just about any food you could possibly want so easily!My books. Although they may make me feel uneasy at times, I definitely appreciate that they are challenging my fundamental beliefs about life.My spontaneity (?). Specifically, with respect to my nutrition. I don't need a rigid plan for what to eat every day, and I think that's been pretty helpful for me. I kind of just decide what I want and go and do it!7 daily disciplines: My health: This time I ran for a bit as well! That felt quite good. Did 11 push ups today as well. The standards are increasing!My happiness and relationships: Exchanged greetings with a number of people I don't know today! I probably need to change the happiness part to make it a little more unique.I fell short in personal development once again. This area needs to be tidied up.My finances: I made a $30 payment towards my credit card.My career: I did not mention this yesterday, nor did I do what I committed to yesterday, so I will do about 45 minutes today.My impact on the world: Posted in Elegwa's journal.

Elegwa, the important thing to remember is that, in every situation that you've ever experienced in your entire life, you did the best you possibly could with the information that you had. If you "knew better", then you would have done better! Sometimes we look back on our failings and it's easy to beat ourselves up over it, so it's really important to stop yourself when you catch yourself doing that and remind yourself that it doesn't matter what happened in the past, all that matters is what you do going forward. If you have a smartphone or tablet, I strongly suggest taking 20 minutes out of your day for meditation via Calm.com, specifically, the 7-days and 21-days of calm. The 21 days requires a subscription, but it's so cheap (something like 25 or 30 bucks a year) and so, so worth it, since the subscription also unlocks a bunch of other premium features. I can personally attest to how powerful this program is. The core concepts it helps you with are awareness (getting your mind to focus on what's going on in the moment), non-reactivity (stopping yourself from judging or creating a story around feelings, events and memories), and self-compassion (learning to love yourself and not beat yourself up over stuff). Elegwa, a conversation is a two-way street, and if someone isn't giving you as much attention as you're giving them, then you've got to give strong consideration to the idea that it might be worth it to simply move on. You will not get along with everyone, and you will not "click" with everyone, and that's perfectly OK! As long as you keep at it, you will eventually "click" with enough people in your life that the ones who choose to not put a whole lot of effort into interacting with you will not bother you so much. Remember that you are precious and valuable, you have a unique set of skills and talents that nobody else on the planet has, and you're on this planet for a reason. Your time and energy is an extremely precious commodity that you can never get back once spent, so make sure you spend it on people that fully appreciate it! The Slight Edge really is quite an amazing book! Definitely go through the exercises, there aren't a whole lot but I believe they are very important to do. Thanks for those habits links, I will check them out for sure!

Day 15 Woohoo, 1/6th of the way to 90! Today was the last day of professional counseling for me, at least for the foreseeable future. I felt confident enough to tell her that I am ready to tackle this without the sessions. I definitely feel the sessions helped and that's a big deal because I wasn't convinced of that at first. The day didn't start off as planned though. I ended up getting up at 9:20 AM (although I actually woke up at 7:30 AM, when I wanted to), and scrambled a bit because my appointment with my counselor was at 10:00 AM. Furthermore, I had to drive to the bank after the session to get money to pay her because my credit card was getting rejected. Oh well, I don't plan to use it anymore anyways, unless I have no choice. I ended up getting home around 1:00 PM, and I managed to do everything else I wanted to do during the day with respect to my daily routine, so even though it didn't quite go as planned, I still got to where I wanted to be! I started reading Think and Grow Rich today, and Napolean Hill makes a big deal about the idea of the secret becoming known to you if you are ready for it. I really have no idea what that means, and I did have the thought of just googling the secret, but I quickly quashed that. I will trust in Hill's words, and I figure even if the secret IS spelled out to me, if I am not ready to receive it, then chances are I won't act on it. So I will go through the book and see what happens. That did get me thinking about the accumulation of wealth. I have no real problem with that at all, as I believe the way the wealth is used is far more important than the actual accumulation of it, but I do have some nagging anxieties about it. They include, how my family would react to me accumulating great wealth (I imagine some or many would become resentful), how I would handle becoming wealthy and the notoriety and recognition that comes with it, and what my lifestyle would be like if I accumulate a lot of wealth. I think this is something I'm just going to have to overcome at some point, as I strongly believe that if you do provide a product or service that genuinely enhances peoples' lives, you deserve to get paid for it, and the customers can decide how much that's worth to them. If that means becoming very wealthy, then that's fine! I am not as concerned about money as I am about enhancing peoples' lives, although I do have a goal to become financially independent. 3 things I'm grateful for: My counselor. She kind of gave me the kick in the butt I needed 2 Thursdays ago to get to where I am now.Game Quitters. I am proud to be a Patreon of Game Quitters and am looking forward to a great future for it!The mild weather this time of year! Usually it's much colder!7 daily disciplines: Did about 20 minutes of walking and 10 pushups.I exchanged greetings with a number of people today.Including some people I don't know!I did not meet my goal of getting up at no later than 7:30.I paid $30 towards my credit card.Made a post in Alex's journal.

Alex, absolutely regular practice is important to keep your programming mind sharp! It looks like you have a pretty cool goal in mind for your programming, so definitely keep at it! I do tend to find working from home doesn't work too well. For me it's because home is such a familiar and comfortable place, so I get into that comfort zone mindset. I am changing that as part of my personal development. It definitely helps a lot, if you want to study for example, to go to a library or something where that environment is conducive to studying.

I 100% agree. Well, depending on the book anyways!

This is great. It is one of the core messages of David Allen's "Getting Things Done" - which is a bit on the dry side to read. You summarized it here much more entertainingly. Man I'm going to go bankrupt just buying all these awesome books.. LOL!

When I worked at SHG, one of the founders had us submit to-do lists for the day, each and every day. To this day, I really have no clue if he read them all the time, but it does really help to focus your mind on what it is exactly you want to do. Some days it'll be easier than others to come up with this list, but in general I think it's a fantastic way to organize yourself and motivate yourself to do what it is you want to do each day. Even better is if you can come up with the to-do list the day before! I bet I broke a record for how many times the word day has shown up in a paragraph!

Great post! Remember Jay, personal development is about becoming the best version of yourself... so you already have certain good qualities - being honest, having integrity, etc - so as you dive deeper into your personal development you'll only amplify the good parts and learn about the others as well. Thanks Cam, love all the support I'm getting from you guys!

Alex, just out of curiosity, why do you want to learn programming? Perhaps the reason you keep putting it off is because you just don't have a compelling enough reason to do it. It might be worthwhile to simply let it go and move on if it isn't important enough for you.

You make a good point at the end there, Alex. It would be rather strange to go on a path of self improvement and somehow come out at the other end worse than when I began. Day 14 Woohoo! Two weeks! Getting here didn't actually end up being as much of a challenge as I thought it might be! I guess that's what happens when you're on your 4th or 5th attempt to finally quit something, haha! Admittedly, lately I've been getting some of those nostalgic feelings about video games. I've largely been able to just ride them out but it gets a bit harder each time. I did read in another person's thread that they had a planned relapse to achieve a goal in League of Legends, but I don't think that will be for me. I don't want to risk losing all the progress I've made up to this point just for a video game. My feelings have largely gravitated towards Tales of Xillia 2, which I started and never completed (if I had a planned relapse, this would be the game I would play), and Fallout 4, which I had a strong desire to play but I won't lose sleep over not seeing any gameplay of it, ever. I suppose the only thing I can really do is keep reminding myself why I am quitting video games in the first place - it may not hurt that much right now to relapse, but ten years down the road, when my responsibilities are much greater (in all likelihood, at least), it will hurt a lot more and it will also be a lot harder to change my life for the better. In other news, I finished reading The Slight Edge today! For me that's a pretty big deal because I keep picking up books but never finishing them. I am looking forward to reading other personal development material as well, I find it helps so much. I was going to go to a coffee and conversation meetup tonight since I felt it was going to be a nice way to get to know some new people, but I have decided instead to go on a hike. Part of the reason is that I don't want to be in a situation where I can make a bad choice about eating again. Another part is that I met a nice girl last night and she agreed to go on the hike as well. Plus, it's also exercise! Looking forward to that! I have also noticed that writing these daily journal entries has a calming effect on my mind. Just putting my feelings of nostalgia down here has helped to sort of calm that emotion for me. Anyways, good day today so far! Three things I'm grateful for: My journal. It works to calm my emotions and help sort through my thoughts.Water. That's all I drink and that's all I'll ever drink!Friends. It's nice to know that people have got your back when you hit a rough spot.One thing I want to add. These are the 7 daily disciplines I have committed to as part of the last exercise in The Slight Edge. I'm putting them here as an accountability thing. For health, my plan to start is walking 15-30 minutes a day, and doing at least 10 push ups upon returning home. My daily discipline is to stick to this plan.For happiness, my daily "not to do" is eating junk food, and my daily "to do" is doing something, anything to make someone else's day better.. even if it's just exchanging a smile and a hello.For relationships, it kind of relates to the above, talking to at least one new person every day. I can integrate this into my walk, and not allow myself to come home until I talk to at least one person I've never met before. Even just exchanging greetings is good enough.For personal development, getting up no later than 7:30 AM every day, though I want to get up at 6 on days that I am working in the morning so I have time in the morning to get in some of my daily routine.For finances, it is paying at least $30 a day towards my credit card debt.For my career, it is spending at least 15 minutes a day reading business building material.For my impact on the world, it is making at least one positive, uplifting post in someone else's journal on this website.These will probably evolve over time but this is my list for now. In each journal entry I make from this point forward, I will explain how I managed to reach these daily milestones, or not. I am not sure what I will do as a "punishment" if I do not reach one. Maybe for each one that I miss, I double my efforts on it the following day.

If you want to have any sort of financial success, you're going to have to take a critical look at your attitude towards money. Is your current attitude towards money driving you towards your goals? Or is it giving you a convenient excuse to give up before you even start? Do you see anything wrong with providing something of value and in return being rewarded for it? For example if someone provides a valuable service such as linen cleaning shouldn't they expect to receive money for their service? While some people who get rich do it by ripping people off, they are going to be over-represented in the media. There's a couple of reasons for this. First being that an honest trader, making an honest living, just doesn't have much drama. At least not when compared to a story about someone who tricks old people into giving up their life savings. Secondly, in general the media is aimed at the lowest common denominator ie. lazy, unambitious people. Which message do you think a lazy person would rather hear 1. "People get rich by cheating other people, therefore you're a good person if you're poor" or 2. "It's up to you to put the hard work in, if you're poor, it's your responsibility to fix it". Hard work is not something that sells well. How many fitness products are advertised as quick or easy...The average couch potato doesn't want their TV telling them that they have the power to do something about it. That would require effort. They would rather be told that it's not their fault, that way they can continue blaming other people for their situation. Thirdly, don't trust the media too much. They don't give balanced accounts of what really happens. They often have an agenda. Stories appear totally different when they leave certain details out. Or they misrepresent statistics. Or even just outright lie, as they've been shown to do with a few high profile cases over the last year. It sounds like you're heading in the right direction. But it would be a good idea to take a critical look at some of your attitudes, where they came from and why. And ask yourself if they're still valid. And more importantly, ask yourself if those attitudes are driving you to where you want to be. Really good points here. My attitude towards money is that someone who puts in the time and the effort to create a product that adds value to a person who purchases it absolutely deserves to be rewarded for it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having millions of dollars, if that's what people think your product is worth. That's the type of person I'd love to be. If I can create something that genuinely helps people, then I absolutely believe I should be rewarded for it. I also do not believe in "get rich quick", "overnight quantum leaps", shit like that.. it doesn't exist. If you want to be a millionaire, then you've got to put in the effort to become a millionaire. If you want to be successful at ANYTHING, then you've got to put in the effort to be successful. I also believe that your rewards will be proportional to the effort you put in. And lastly, you've got to be patient as well. The only type of work you can do that I know of where you get paid immediately just for showing up is minimum wage work, and even then, you've still got to put in the effort to create your resume, submit your applications, go to the interview, etc. I will admit I do have fears about starting a business of my own.. mainly because I do not have any ideas that I believe have enough value to them to actually make a reasonable living off of. I also believe that there are many financially successful people who started out the same way. So that's definitely something that I will need to overcome, and I believe that I will, in time. Just a quick update, I need to fix up my eating habits a bit. They are largely fine, but this is the second night in a row that I ordered some crap I don't need, this time at a restaurant. French fries and a dessert. My goal is for the next week to not eat ANYTHING unhealthy at all. Obviously I'd like to stretch it beyond that, but that's my goal for now.

Well this one is a doozie, but since you're taking the time to comment on my journal, SpiNips, I will go through yours and see if I can contribute at all!

Absolutely, there are definitely things with respect to social skills that you can integrate into the way you speak to people without compromising yourself. It's when it gets to things like "OK, here's how to keep a conversation going, and here's 5 cookie cutter scripts you can practice to get better at it" where I just don't agree with the process. Honestly, you cannot be friends with everyone. Some people are just far too different from you for you to be able to get along with them for long, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! I will admit that when it comes to business conversations, sure, you might need to employ some "tactics" to keep people interested in you so you can make your sales or whatever, but that just isn't for me, I think. I like to be real, and let my personality come out. If someone doesn't get along with me, or no matter what, I just can't seem to keep a conversation going with some people, that's fine! There are enough people in the world that I will "click" with just fine, or even better than fine, that I won't lose sleep over those that I don't.

Thanks! I actually didn't find the "uncaving" part all that difficult. I just started to remind myself why I am doing what I'm doing and I suppose that gave me the courage to resist falling further into the hole. Day 13 Almost at two weeks! Woohoo! I'm not really sure yet what I can do to "reward" myself for achievements but I do need to think of something. One important value I hold is that rewarding myself for accomplishments is very important and very necessary to keeping a healthy mind. I actually thought of this particular idea for a reward for dropping my caffeine addiction so I might just do it tomorrow to celebrate two weeks in: going to my favorite indian restaurant and getting what might be my favorite food dish of all time, chicken rogan josh. It actually isn't even too expensive so it won't break the bank either. So today I did a lot of self reflection. I believe I have discovered my greatest fear during this process is the fear of the person that I will eventually become. This may be the case because I have not yet identified what success is to me, but I have this image of myself in the future of this path as a millionaire businessman. It probably very much is because of what Cam said, being a "success" as far as society is concerned often is associated with being successful financially. I don't see anything wrong with becoming a financial success, but I do see a LOT wrong with what I view as the typical financially successful person: a person who doesn't care about others, doesn't care enough about his family, and makes money the biggest and often only priority in life. I am TERRIFIED of becoming that type of person. Obviously there are quite a few examples of financially successful people that aren't any of those things, but in the media we don't really hear much about them.. and there's also the old adage of not judging a book by its' cover, ie. what those financially successful people who claim to care about others show on the outside may not necessarily reflect their true ideals. I know that if I continue this path of self improvement, I am going to change. Some of that change I will not be able to control because of the material I am using for self improvement, and I am very afraid of losing the values that I hold dearest.to me. I definitely want to drop the lazy, irresponsible, undisciplined parts of me, but the honesty, integrity, compassion, empathy, all that stuff I do not want to lose under any circumstances. However, just stopping this and going back to the way things were is absolutely not an option. It may be easy now, but going back would be like committing suicide very slowly by poking myself with a spoon. It may not hurt much now, but eventually that spoon will start to carve out flesh, and by then it may just be too late to start making changes again because I may not have enough time left to do it. And if I am NOT on the path of improvement, then eventually I will start to fall back to the way things were - there is no middle ground. The conclusion I came to during this time is a lot like the conclusion I came to yesterday: trust in the process and whatever happens, happens. Whatever I eventually become cannot be any worse than what I would become if I went back to my old ways. The reassuring thing is that, as the slight edge says, I AM in control of this process and I can simply make sure that I filter the input that I get to ensure that I only take in the things I want. As Cam implied, there is nothing that says I need to internalize absolutely everything I read in books or hear in videos. One example is the ultimate guide to social skills. I went through the first couple of sections and wasn't too thrilled with the material. They made some good points, but I think the idea of forcing your social skills to change by developing them with intent doesn't really sit well with me. It feels like you end up just putting on this facade and aren't really letting your real self come out. As Michael Ellsberg said in one of the videos, instead of trying to talk with more confidence, just become more confident. I think that comes with self improvement. The way you speak to other people will change naturally, and how that happens will depend largely on the input that you take in for self improvement. I'm not saying developing your social skills with intent is bad, it's just not the way I would choose to go about things, and that's OK! If you guys have your own opinions and ideas about this stuff, feel free to post them! I'd love to read about everyone else's perspectives! Oops, and forgot once again, 3 things to be grateful for: The rain. So many people hate rain, but I love it. Not only does rain sustain us by filling our world with water, but to me it has a calming, soothing effect, especially the sound and smell.My vitality. Being able to simply go for a walk every day is a great opportunity for reflection as well as exercise.My cat. Whenever I pet her or play with her, it always puts a smile on my face and helps with de-stressing.

Hey Cam, as usual you come with the sage advice. Lots of good points there. You're right that we have to define what success means to us. I still don't know. I'll have to figure that out as I go. As far as relationships with people, to be honest, I really don't have any close relationships in real life, at least in terms of people I'd trust enough to have a conversation with about really personal stuff. There is one guy and perhaps I should make more of an effort to strengthen my friendship with him. And just as an update, I did run into a bit of a stumbling block tonight at work. I got a massive craving for pizza and ended up ordering one (I actually got over the craving but by then I had convinced myself I was going to get it), and then I ended up watching a video game stream on Youtube for about 1.5 hours. I didn't actually end up finishing watching it and just turned off the computer. I will make up for this tomorrow by reading an extra chapter from a book.