NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
Octsober
-
Posts
158 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Octsober
-
-
On 3/21/2018 at 7:47 PM, Cam Adair said:
Happy to hear you're doing well brother.
Really appreciate it Cam. I see you've been getting busier! I enjoy reading the stuff you push out via the mailing list. To be honest, what made me quit sooner was reading the story about the man whom was married and decided to quit. Quite an inspiriting read.
-
1
-
-
Day 20,
Things have been looking up.
I originally wanted to stop playing games, as I have a new (old) job I'll be starting come April. I wanted to take this opportunity seriously, so I decided it would be wise to stop playing asap. My habits as I suspected changed in a domino-like fashion. Once I eliminated games, I started focusing on other more important things, such as my company, sleeping, meditation, getting back into shape, and reading.
I still feel cravings to play but I've already commit thus far and I look forward to the next 20+ days ahead.
Things get a little easier as the days go on.
-
Glad I can help!
Your goal list looks great!
As long you have a plan and stick with it, you'll get there. Cheating* somedays is OK. We're only human. (*by cheating I mean not doing everything on the list everyday. NOT playing games.)
You're right about how board games work. It does it for me because I make them haha. You're focusing on your guitar and deutsch sprechen so keep at it! :D
-
1
-
-
1 hour ago, Bugg said:
Well I'm up past my desired bedtime, did no reading tonight or today, at all, comfort ate my way through a giant bowl of popcorn alongside a whipped [vegan] cream hot chocolate, feeling thoroughly unproductive. Been sat at the laptop for the last 4 hours or so, just browsing or Netflix. I did at least finally start gathering interior design images to help me decide what colours to paint my furniture, so that's something. Still feeling crappy for not going to yoga. Feeling crappy in general. I doubt I'll sleep well tonight. Here's hoping tomorrow will be better. I know I should use positive language and say ''Tomorrow will be better.'' but I don't have the energy to pretend rn.
As you're only about a week in, try and break it down level by level. Consider it like an RPG. You're not going to be fighting high level bosses at level 6. Shoot for 21 days. within that time your brain will have started to reconfigure itself outside the habit you had while playing games. I'd suggest meditation, but you're already doing yoga which is good.
I mention board games because it's still more or less gaming, but it comes down to a time and place. Try playing single player board / card games like solitaire to give yourself some more breathing room. Right now its about removing habits that have been bad and trying to replace them with something good. Not to say that playing video games is bad, but in the way we go about playing them isn't good.
Give yourself some room to breathe. I promise you it gets better the longer you don't play.
-
Day 11
Carvings come and go. Been doing better managing it as time goes on.
-
1 hour ago, Bugg said:
Urg, feeling crappy. I'm supposed to be reading right about now but I can't concentrate, and I'm supposed to be going to yoga after dinner but I'm getting so anxious about it. All I want to do is get lost in a game. :s
The longer you go the easier it gets. I’ve done 90 days before, doing another now (day 11).
Consider playing board games. Its a ‘safer’ alternative as it works for me.
-
Day 5,
Cravings starting to become stronger, but I've been maintaining. Still going to the gym and meditating but it gets interesting when I have time to kill.
It was tricky today as I had a long stretch of time with nothing to do. I ended up working on a project I've been working on here and there in the past. Made a lot of good changes and progress.
So far so good.
-
1
-
-
Day 3
Looking to complete another 90 days. So far i’m looking towards the 21 day check point.
I’ve been meditating daily and have returned to the gym. Things are going well
-
1
-
-
Something I found that was pretty much a nail on the head moment.
-
2
-
-
Alright,
Things have been a changing. I've got some work lined up and I really want to focus on it so I can bring some money into my business. I want to remove games from my life so I can get back to the things that made me feel overall better. I think after reading the last email sent out by cam is what made me realize I want to get ahead of this (as I should have a while ago) now.
The only immediate issue is that I'm quite invested in this one game (Overwatch). I feel some anxiety missing out for the seasonal events. I also have a PS4 I picked up that I don't play at all, but there's one game I wanted to check out down the line. I think that was one of the major components of gaming that keeps us trapped: There's always going to be another game.
I have too much that I expect of myself this year to be wasting it distracted. I've been teaching chess classes and I've been meaning to convert some of this game time to learning how to improve my game in chess more.
I want to go do a 90 day respawn again.
-
Welcome to the new year,
Been meaning to quit - can't seem to find a reason to do so 100%.
I'm out of work at the moment so I've got a fair amount of downtime.
How do I just get over this and move away from gaming?
-
Here again,
At this point - I'm really looking to get back on track and remove games from my life.
I was fired from my job in late October. I worked hard, but there's a whole story with that I don't want to go into now. I've been looking for work haphazardly. Managed to find a security gig through a friend, but really thinking about it, I don't want to go back to working dinky jobs again. I'm really serious about making 2018 my year.
So I've been spending tons of time playing games not really considering my next move and I'm done with that. I want to be able to get to a point where I can't wait to attack the next day. I'm tired of dreading waking up, to sludge around.
I'm ready to start making a difference. I'm just not sure what to do now for work in the immediate.
Still around - Hope you're well.
-Oct
-
Been a bit,
Its been great being able to see my psych again. Very, very helpful stuff.
I still game to this day, but I always have this lingering feeling behind me. It's a subtle, haunting feeling. Sometimes I even feel anxious.
Because of this, it's almost impossible for me to get into anything. This haunting feeling always seems to reminding me that I'm wasting my time.
I've been making strides elsewhere. Back at the Gym. I go three days a week. This will be week four for me. I do a lot of writing and creative work for my dnd group every other Tuesday. I jump on some design here and there for my projects.At the end of the day, I just feel like I'm not doing the right thing. I feel like I'm wasting my time. That I'm stuck in the same shit job(s) with no real path toward what I really want to do.
I can't say what will happen in these next few months in regards to my gaming habits, however I've been doing better than I was months ago.
I pop on now and then to check in. Stay well guys. -
Hey guys, a little quick update here.
I've been going back to my Psy as of these last few weeks. I feel it's been good to talk to about all this stuff I've been dealing with.
We've chat about the effects of games and it's pretty clear that I need to start distancing myself from them. I feel subconsciously , I want to do something about it.
I'm not so sure why I've become so invested in the games I play today... perhaps a combination of habits and other factors.
I know I can't really balance it out and I really need to refocus my priorites.I have an idea on what to do but not how to do it. The fear of making a mistake and selling all this stuff also lingers when I think about it.
The thought of "what if I miss out on something?" or "maybe something cool with come out." is what hinders my process here.Just venting and pondering for now.
-
Hey guys,
I think the major issue for me at this moment is that I've been at this crossroad for a while now.
It's been the same downs while under the spell of video games. I'm not sure why I just can't out right stop like I once did before.
I can slightly recall what it was like to not play video games any longer, it was overall far better for me in many ways.So why can't I just start again?
What was going though your mind(s) when you were on the verge of quitting for good? -
Things have been good. Bit of a bumpy road, but good.
I've been motivated to sell my gaming equipment. My PC predominately being more of an issue than help, even though I do work on it. I have this fear for liquidating all of it. Not sure why, but its there.
I've been at this crossroad, in a way, before. I sold my PS4,PS3, and Nintendo 3ds handheld with all the associated games for a reasonable sum that I reinvested right into my business. I have absolutely no regrets for selling these things, from what I believe because I was mostly gaming on my PC anyhow.
So thats my main issue as of now. I have my Macbook that I've used in the past for work no problem. My PC is without a doubt, very well a gaming machine, but i'd rather just have something to work on rather consume with.
What do you think guys?
-
Hey guys,
Been a little while. I've moved away from the streaming route entirely for now. I'm slowly chipping away at my card game, but something has been going well for me recently.
I've played dungeon and dragons since I was young with my family, from then on I started dungeon mastering. I create all my own content. I design the world, create the stories, and try to bring the whole thing to life on paper. It feels great to be able to flex my creative mussles in a relaxed state. I'm doing it for fun and my new group has taken very well to it in the process.It feels more natural to me to follow this Storyteller path. I feel that I can grow and experience things that suprise and enlighten me along the way. I feel like the time I put into making somehting feels far better than just consuming. I know Cam has done a bunch of vids on this.
I think the most important thing about what I'm saying here is that, by listening to my inner compass it's pointing more toward a creative direction. It makes sense and it feels great to say this. I still currently play games, but I've been really limiting myself to competitive games. I'm tired of being frustrated in this psychological loop of disapointment and feelings of wasted time. Some of the games I've brached out into are more narritively driven experiences that I enjoy at my leisure.
It feels like I'm slowly getting my mind back on track to the things that make me my best.
-
As of now I've taken a step back. I feel that not streaming is OK. I'm working on getting a loan so I can produce some copies of my card game to sell.
I think its time to make moves.
-
I don't think I'm going to do it. I think the clear difference is understanding the amount of anxiety I have thinking about streaming vs not. I'd say those who do it and do it well do so because they love it. I don't feel as if it makes sense following this streaming path. In fact, I feel more justified selling all my gaming gear and not really playing anymore.
Talk about 360 (again). Just seems to make more sense to me this way.
-
All and all the personal development parts of your response, to me, feels as if it can be explored in choosing this path.
Yes, and that is precisely my point. Regardless of whether you pursue the streaming opportunity or not, it's continuing to do the work around personal development that will help you achieve the "results" you're looking for.
Of course - I feel as doing the streaming doesn't seem to be the best of options, however I don't really have any other options that come to mind to focus on. I'm not sure what to put my energy towards. I'd love to move out of my parents place, but that would require that I make a bit more. I don't personally see the value in working for a regular company. I've got a bunch of question marks at the moment.
Just be careful, Oct. I know you're taking your time with this decision and I wish you the best.
I'm being extra cautious. I'm really not sure what's going to come of this or if it will even happen. I really just want to start getting back to growing again instead of running around in circles. I appreciate your support Mettermrck.
-
I'm having mixed feelings about this decision. Will clarify soon.
-
Well, I hope your plan bears fruit. I know everyone's path is different. Keep us posted as to how you're doing!
Mettermrck, I appreciate your feedback here man. I'll very much keep tabs here.
As you've identified, it's not about games for you. It's about what games facilitate. Now, streaming may help you socialize more and feel less alone, or to talk to people about your creative ideas, and that's all good and positive - if you can maintain streaming as a function of being productive for work and not simply justifying it as "work" - but if you truly want to experience less of the situation you find yourself in, and more of whatever it is that you are trying to achieve (this would be important for you to identify, what is your vision?), then finding a balanced way of approaching your situation is important. So yes, streaming may help you with that, but what would happen tomorrow if you suddenly no longer had the capacity to stream, game, or use the internet? Would everything fall apart? It's good to avoid putting all of your eggs in one basket. Regardless of whether you stream, how can you also invest some of your other time to transform the aspects of your life that you feel a need to escape from? How can you find a way to socialize without streaming? How can you move out of your parents place of which you've written is a toxic environment - instead of staying there playing victim? How can you develop a healthy foundation of habits that empower you to feel your best every day? How can you develop a healthy self-esteem that comes from within, allowing you to need nothing but yourself to feel your best? These are all questions I would sit with, journal, and reflect on as you go forward, if you desire something else than what you're currently experiencing. The answers exist, and the capacity to achieve them within you.
Cam! Great to hear from you. Really appreciate your response.
Correct - Streaming may help, or do completely nothing. I agree with you on having it be actual productive work whereas an excuse to game. I think of my time spent while streaming as work. To be honest, I'm not even sure how to game for as long as I need to for my schedule, so it's likely it may become more of an IRL / Creative channel.
I have to disagree with you however Cam on putting my eggs into one basket here. To me, it feels I'm only opening up a bit more. Sure I can stream game play, but the benefits that come from opening the other doors I foresee that can be opened, seem to out-weigh the negatives. My devils advocate for you is you can say the same about any job really, more so even for regular employment today. Most of what drives me into this path is the ability to make it mine and not have to bow to a manager / boss.
Transforming my life occurs, over time in following this streaming path. I lift the stigma my folks have for me while playing games, as now that time is being used productively. Becoming socially active with those that watch the stream helps in building more self worth in that I am no longer just playing alone. I am generally quite social outside of gaming / streaming regardless, as I work as a server. Social gathering take priority over game time when I am not streaming.
Moving out is a little different. I work part time as a server and own a business. I think of streaming as a way to expand my foundations. Depending on how things go while streaming, I would expect to move out in the next year and a half. Is it a toxic environment? 60% of the time it is, but this is because my folks are frustrated and only want to see I do well. It's inconsistently toxic and I was speaking previously from a bad place. But still, I agree with you. I don't wish to play victim. I take full responsibly. This still will not change over night and I will need to be patient with the process even if I wasn't streaming.
All and all the personal development parts of your response, to me, feels as if it can be explored in choosing this path. As I've said it's only (6) months to see. If it doesn't work I move on and probably will move away from games. There would be no reason to play anymore if it's nonproductive and distracting. I watched your link on vision. I have a vision on starting this out. I've done my homework and If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it well. I have a vision for my creative ventures as well that can possibly be subsidized by this.
I've tried my best to answer back honestly as possible.
-
Where are you at with your detox? I'm wondering what kind pf withdrawal symptoms you might be wrestling with in the short term. I'm not sure if you thought about talking with your parents and tell them where you're at, tell them you're trying to quit games, talk about where you want your life to go?
I think I lasted... 5-8 days? Not to say that it's irrelevant, but I've quit for 110 days before. It's different today however. I wasn't playing anything when I was able to quit. I came back after my detox for a game I wanted to play, finished it then didn't really play anything until May of that year. I can muscle through the short term symptoms but I honestly don't feel as I want to quit as of now and I know this is very likely going to come across as denial. Probably even is. The things that are setting me over the edge aren't games, it's life. Job situation, more pressure from my folks, feelings of defeat from my previous project(s). This causes me to hide away, unfortunately games are the thing helping more than hurting at the moment.
I've had a bit of a 360 happen in the last few days. I was having a conversation with my family and they seemed to understand I'm not doing too well emotionally. I then had a conversation with my father about streaming games. The conversation came up pretty randomly. "If I am going to play, may as well be productive" about it was more or less the driving point. I have the green light to give it a go. I've been VERY skeptical, but everyone around me seems very supportive to try it. I'm planning on giving myself (6) months. Now I'm no fool and know what this looks like. I'm not going to deny this is probably not the best of ideas. However, I feel that something positive may come of it. I consider the actual playing of games as a front for socializing and even marketing my business / creative work(s). As Twitch features IRL and Creative avenues, I can gauge my viewers and deliver accordingly.
The only downside is I lose (6) months time and a little under / over $300. The positives? Socialization, sharing of ideas from my business / creative works, possible growable income, possible growth via branding, sense of value. There's simply more to gain than lose. Devils advocate being it's a greater risk of failure is the only thing I can think of.
I currently play games to escape because I feel alone. If I'm not alone while streaming, I feel there's a good starting point. I wont just be playing games, I'll be working.
I'm expecting the response to this to be... well expected haha. Either way I appreciate your support guys!
-
Being in a toxic environment really doesn't help one's way of becoming more actualized. In fact, from my understanding it prevents it outright.
I'm 28 and still live at home. I really can't take the pressure they put on me to work full time. What does working a full time job mean anything important? I've done this for the past 10 years of my life and nothing has changed in regards to whatever they think will help me.
I'm tired of this crap.
Since May it's only gotten worse. I feel as there is no hope. I have no direction. My step father has noticed that I've been gloomy lately and simply says to "get out of it" like it's a switch that can be turned on and off. I'm by all means not saying my family is nasty (slightly malicious at times however) but they are generally preoccupied with their own thing and have done about 40% work as parents in my past. I believe this lead me to turn to video games to get the remainder of 60% of whatever I was missing, be that emotionally, mentally, etc . I'm not pointing fingers, but it's infuriating trying to have any sense of self worth when you're told out right or subtly you're doing noting with your life. When I fail, I feel it 10x more so than should be the case.
Quitting games is one thing. But I'm at my wits end between the amount of pressure I have from my folks. I'm not unaware of my predicament, it's as they're trying to help in a way only they see how, but in doing so is only adding more to the issue. I work these nothing jobs for what? A few dollars in my pocket? There's not long term sustainability.Guys, I'm losing it big time here. As a human being do I realistically have this many shortcomings? No. But living with these people I feel like I can't be myself. I noticed this feeling big time when I came back from Ireland. Coming back home was like coming back into the mud.
Octsober Country - Let's do this
in Daily Journals
Posted
Day 30,
I've been able to manage my time significantly better while abstaining from games. I've been navigating other unfavorable habits as well during this process.
It's come to my understanding that playing video games for me has been a keystone habit. Meaning that once removed, it's opened the flood gates in a way for other habits to improve such as sleeping, eating, exercise, etc...
I start work this Monday which I've been looking forward too.
I'm curious to see what the next 30 days forward will bring.