AlexTheGrape

My personal opinion is don't do it. That being said, you know yourself best and it's totally up to you. Also, I agree with Florian that this would break your detox. Thanks Jay, I'll keep that in mind. You know yourself. If you are worried about playing, it's probably not a good idea. And yes, I'd think playing one night would indeed violate any detox. As for activities - I can recommend a good book to read: "The Neverending Story" or "Momo", both by Michael Ende. In the Neverending Story, the main hero is on a journey where he must resurrect a fantasy world through his own imagination without forgetting his own roots and losing himself. In "Momo", a group of "Grey Men" steals people's time by hooking them up to thoughts of efficiency and consumerism. Both books easy reads and some of my absolute favorites. And the longer I think about it, fitting nicely into the topic of quitting games! Thank you Florian, that was some great advice. If playing games a single night has been proven to break my habits in the past, I should definitely steer away from gaming with friends. My brother also encouraged me not to play with my friends, despite being an aspiring game developer himself. I'll add those books to my to-read list, they sound like a nice break from all the self improvement and self help books. Currently I am in the process of rereading The Slight Edge. Thanks again!

I was invited to play a night of Civilisation 5 with my old friends, and I feel it would be exciting. Unfortunately this would undermine my resolve to continue without games, and I 'deleted' my steam account. I think I would be able to retrieve my steam account given the time, but I have the feeling this wouldn't be a good idea in the long run. Would playing games for a night violate the 90 day detox? I know I relapsed because I let myself just play, but if I restricted it to that night only I have reason to believe it would be ok. I fear that I would want 'just one more game' of one game type or another after playing with my friends, and has happened before. Thinking about it, it was actually Civ 5 that brought me back from quitting games after some weeks, being my 'final game' with my friends. How that ended up was in me playing games again, with or without friends. I know I am getting cravings to play games now, but I am running into the problem of just not having enough fun. I play board games with some of my family when I can, but I don't feel this is enough to keep me going once exams end, especially since I will have an abundance of time. Anybody got thoughts on this? I have the feeling I should just get out more and go explore new activities where I can find them, but this will be a little hard until I have a car to drive around in (I have a driving licence but not my own car to drive).

Attempt II Day 13 This is my entry for yesterday: Today I went to school to study, and did a whole days worth of physics revision done. This was with a revision class where a teacher was present, and due to me being in there pretty much the whole day I didn't go to the gym. I made a new friend today, so that's a small win. I need to find a way to keep my goals on hand so that I can work on them; although I met my goal for school work I didn't do any work once I got home which meant i didn't meet my last goal.

Hi Daryl, welcome to the community! If you need some advice, don't be afraid to ask. All the best for your recovery!

Thanks Cam, that is a good approach. I planned out my day to the minute this morning, but I suppose I wasn't specific on what the work was. I just wrote things like '50 minutes on cell biology revision' and so I just browsed through my book slowly and without too much intention. I will make sure to detail specific tasks that I need to do on the day so that it will work more solidly in my day plan.

Attempt II Day 12 Today I went to school to study and I got quite a bit more study done than I would at home, but still didn't get the quality of study I wanted. I sat down and did the hours, but revising over my old work can be a drag, so I probably need to find some more engaging activities and ways to study. I had a satisfying length run that took at least 20 minutes. It was easier to get up this morning to do the run, and since I had my gear ready to go I was able to get ready faster than yesterday. I did python programming today, and about an hour of it. The reason why I need to do this programming is because I want to do robotics at university. I started python programming last year, and went with a team in my school to a competition this year. I understand how coding works, I just need to practice regularly otherwise I will lose my touch; I have forgotten half the commands I use by not doing any programming for about 4 months, so it is vital I get back into the habit of programming to develop these skills. I didn't pack any gear to use in the school gym, and as a result I didn't get much exercise during the day, not being motivated and not getting work done. My discipline to do work at home seems to have dropped off recently. I did another run once I got home which I don't normally do, but I felt that I could rest afterwards, and led to me procrastinating the entire afternoon. Goals for tomorrow: -Plan my entire day once I get to school for studying -Work out at the school gym -Get 6 x 45 minutes of QUALITY study done at school. This will mean I need to do more engaging activities. -Get 3 x 45 minutes of quality study done at home. Only then I should feel justified to relax.

Attempt II Day 11 Had a morning run today, shorter than my last one but somewhat sufficient. I got some revision done, but nowhere near as much as I'd like. I will make sure I go to the school library to study to get more revision done, and make sure that I plan out my day. Bugger I keep forgetting to do my programming! I will set an alarm to remind me to do just that. Spending time to program as a habit has ceased to exist for months now, I need to get into this habit again. I had lunch with my grandparents today, one of which is having an operation tomorrow, and I believe I gave myself the excuse to not to work because of this. I will make sure to again, plan out my day to get what I need done within the time I have. Got in some workouts, I will try some new ones tomorrow. I am getting to sleep much earlier today, which is a plus. Goals for tomorrow: -Plan my entire day once I get to school for studying -Work out at the school gym -Get 6 x 50 minutes of study done -Actually do some python programming

By quitting games, quitting fatty foods, distancing yourself from people that bring you down, and getting out of your comfort zone, you will be unlikely to lose your values such as honesty and respect. If you have a closer look, the successful people are the ones that are honest with themselves and have respect for the right solution... Do you see a connection just with the Game Quitters? We have all needed to be honest with ourselves to understand our initial situation, and respect advice provided by other Game Quitters to improve. This is necessary to move forward in the long run, and likewise you will find that many successful people you meet will be honest and respectful too. No loss of your values in sight. You're not going to become an entirely different person by moving along the path you've taken, if anything you would gain better values through the process, like appreciation for hard work and commitment. I have never heard of a person that turned out for the worse by trying to improve themselves, so if I were you I'd just look forward to the prospect of becoming a better person.

Attempt II Day 10 Did my Calculus exam today, and my predictions on my performance seem to be spot on because my estimates on how I did for each standard were pretty much on point - I believe I did above average in algebra, extremely well in calculus, and pretty good in probability. This morning I had my 20 minute run, which turned out to be about 25 minutes. I remember the symbolic journey I made up for myself along the run to remind myself of the new chapter of my life I am committed to, but I won't detail it in this entry as I should be sleeping right now. I caught up with some of my friends from my old school, walked home with them and had a fun time in the pool at my neighbour's house (one of these friends). Goal achieved. I didn't do my python programming in the afternoon, I should have done that after dinner but ended up sitting on the couch for an hour. My old friends encouraged me to play a game of Civilisation 5 with them, but I think that it would be best to do the 90 days with no gaming first, if I were to do it at all. I don't even have a steam account anymore so it should make it all the more difficult and therefore not worth the hassle. I also got in a couple minutes of working out after my run, does anybody have some suggestions for home workouts that doesn't involve a pull up bar? (I don't have one) Goals for tomorrow: -Get 6x 50 minutes of studying done -Do 20 minutes of python programming -Do my morning run and a longer workout afterwards.

Hi Colonel, thanks for joining the community! We'll be here to support you the whole way, provided you keep us moderately up to date with how you're doing, even if you relapse. I don't have any motivational stories about how 30+ aged people overcame video games, but the moderator Joe (wookieshark) has a compelling story, so I'd recommend you have a peek at his journal, and look at how life has changed for him: http://forum.gamequitters.com/topic/55-my-journal-joe/ If you'd like more inspirational stories and a general feel for how to improve yourself and change your lifestyle, The Slight Edge would be a good book to read. I think the newest edition (probably the 8th edition) has a lot of stories from people that have changed their lives through changing their mundane everyday activities. Even though they aren't gamers, the same approach is needed to build the lifestyle you want. There are plenty of resources that you can use from this site that would be of great help to you, I'd recommend you go through the steps in Respawn to get you on the right track and in motion. I hope all the best for your recovery from gaming and hope I've helped!

Attempt II Day 9 Had the English exam today, and I did as I expected to - pretty good. English is the subject I am weakest at, so I am glad that was my last ever English exam! Sorry to those that love English that are reading this I had a run for at least 40 minutes, and I put the most effort into it as I think I ever have. I was compelled to catch my friends that I had a chance of finding, and just kept running to get good exercise even after I found one of them. I felt that was rewarding, I need to make sure I have my run as soon as I get up so I don't have to make up for it in the afternoon. I have made my daily run into a type of reminder as I pass certain object that remind me of slight edge principals, and I will refer to them in my next journal entry as I will have a refreshed mind on what all of these are. I am grateful for the opportunity I have, the end of my weakness in English, and the amazing dinner that I had which included purple couliflower. Goals for tomorrow: -Catch my old school friends after the calculus exam -Do a morning run of at least 20 minutes + have a workout session -Do at least 20 minutes of python programming Could somebody please list the long and short term benefits of working out please? I started it for a time but lost motivation as I did not have a strong enough 'why' to continue the process.

Attempt II Day 8 I didn't make an entry yesterday as I was preparing for an exam I sat today, so here is a recap of what I did: -I had a really good run in the morning, I was at my grandparent's place so I was able to jog along the beach, and I made sure to say hi to every person I passed by. -Got more study done, but I was pretty sorted for my English and Calculus exams. -Had a great dinner that included purple couliflower, which I thought was a Halloween special. -Did some python programming. All in all, I made an improvement, and was much more energised in general.

Attempt II Day 7 Got to one week again, about 14 days until I pass my previous relapse point. I have failed my goals today, I made excuses for myself. I was sitting in the car travelling for several hours today, but instead of not doing much I could have programmed on my computer or done some study. The most important part of improving myself will be getting the work done. Consistently. I will make sure I plan these out according to the schedule for the day, I know I make the most of my day when I plan it out for different tasks I need to get done. I'm making a short entry today because I got distracted by facebook. Another thing I need to work on is keeping distractions at bay. Goals for tomorrow: - Get 6 x 50 minutes of study done - Do at least 20 minutes of running - Do 15 minutes of python programming I know the quality of my goals may be slightly deteriorating, but I need them to be doable and then work up from there.

Attempt II Day 6 I met 1.5 out of 3 of my goals today, but perhaps I'm just making up excuses. I certainly did my morning run, and ran much further than I'd been doing recently. Goal met. I brought my gym gear to school, but didn't make a schedule for myself during the day so studying and hanging out with friends took priority. It was a good start to bring my gear to school at least, I just need to go to the gym next time! Goal not met. I did interact with somebody I didn't know today, but didn't get their name. I suppose that I need to converse enough to comfortably ask their name and give mine, so I need to fully commit to that next time I try to make a new friend. Goal half met. Had a bunch of fireworks tonight, it was fun to celebrate spending family time together. Listened to some more podcasts today, but I feel that listening to podcasts on the buses could be detrimental to my discipline to do work whenever I can. I'll just see how it goes for a week or so. I signed up for the 100 club, and will start on the 24th of November (when my exams finish). I plan to spend 10 minutes at least on each of these activities: guitar playing, programming, and running daily. I didn't have many thoughts towards gaming today. My main drive to play is to complete a world conquest on EU4 as the Inca empire, as it is a challenging game that is very engaging. Despite this urge I know that it would require an immense amount of time, I can't play as I don't have a steam account any more, and I can invest my time much more effectively. Even small victories of improving myself in real life is worth more than all the glory of the world in a virtual world. Goals for tomorrow: Get at least 6 x 50 minutes of study doneDo at least 20 minutes of runningDo 15 minutes of python programming and at least 10 minutes of guitar practiceAlthough it felt like I was confused in regards to my gaming for a long time, it only took a few days to make up my mind this time around, whereas it took me about 2 weeks to start building new habits and acting toward goals when I first quit. This means I understand my position and consequences of gaming better this time around.

Downloaded and listening, thanks for letting me know. You appear to be in contact with many people!

Hi Barnes, thanks for joining the community! There are many people who would appreciate your advice (including myself), so if you'd like to help then the introductions page and daily journals would be a good place to start. Are you finding life more fulfilling without games? I hope you are doing well.

Attempt II Day 5 I not only met my running goal today, I smashed it! Although it wasn't in the morning, I made up for it by doing a 35 minute run delivering fliers. I have been of clearer mind today, the support to quit I have received has almost been overwhelming, I thank you all for your generous time. I have been listening to Waking Up with Sam Harris and Art of Charm this morning and this afternoon on the bus. It has actually been the most productive reflective thinking I have had in a while, I will make sure to listen to more from them! One thing I'd like to get into the habit of is working out. I started this in about April or May and continued for about a month, but I dropped off after a month because I didn't work out much at all during the school holidays. I will make sure to do a full 30 or so minutes tomorrow at the gym, I know I really felt on top of things after working out. I have done a good deal of reflection, and have decided that there is much more reason to quit gaming than to play again. There is an incredible amount of potential that I can achieve with the time that I would spend gaming, and gaming is detrimental to my self improvement anyhow. I'll download some more podcasts to listen to tomorrow. I'm grateful for the technology we have today, it enables us unlimited choice for what we want to do in our lives. I'm grateful for the Art of Charm crew, they made a really great podcast about leadership and habits. I'm grateful to have the choice to improve myself. I'll add a positive experience I've had in the last 24 hours as part of my daily journal: Simple conversation with a friend in the morning at the bus stop made a great start to the day, especially since I hadn't talked to her in a while. It seems that the things that bring a smile to my face the most involve social interaction about 90% of the time, that means I should invest more time in this area. Goals for tomorrow: Do 30+ minutes at the gymDo a run in the MORNINGmake at least one new friend

Hi Alex, I think that quitting video games (or any other addiction) means you are again the master of your own life. Without video games, you are forced to find the meaning in your own life. That can be a long process, and maybe in the end you find that you do want to play video games now and then again, but then it will be out of your own decision, not because it has become a habit. You want control back in your life and setting your own goals. Thank you Florian, well spoken and concise. When I play video games I understand I am not in control of my own life, I even get to the point of deleting my saves for fear of wasting even more time on the game. I will continue looking into finding my purpose, but I am sure it will crop up eventually. I will make sure I'm in control of my life from now on. Thank you again for your insight

Thank you Elegwa for the advice, I can relate with you on multiple levels. I too find that exercise is a great activity for clearing my head, as well as energising me for working or studying. I need to make such breaks more frequent though, my morning run is not enough to keep me going the whole day. I can relate to the time lost and lack of purpose you describe when gaming. I felt I had a purpose when gaming, but at the end of the day the activities I pursue for this purpose doesn't help anybody in real life, not even myself. I certainly don't want to be playing video games in the future, and don't want anybody to have to go through this experience. I suppose that the best time to work towards that aspect of my future goal is to stop gaming now. I agree that I need to make some solid goals, but long term goals might be hard for me at the moment as I haven't discovered my purpose yet. For now it might revolve around improving my skills in talents I have stopped pursuing such as programming, playing guitar and photography. If I haven't started posting photographs by the 25th of November, please make sure to give me a prod.

Thank you Cam, that was very good food for thought. It is true that I have much better priorities outside of gaming, bad habits can make gaming top priority despite having little positive impact on living. I need to make sure that I give quitting games and improving myself a shot for at least 90 days straight so that I can feel the positive impact of good habits. I don't know what things I could do in the future, but it is guaranteed to be a heck of a lot better without gaming. Thank you for your continued support!

Cheers Jay, that's a very good point. Likewise when I play games, studying, spending time with family, chores and most daily tasks become a lot more challenging mentally, and 'takes a back seat' in priority as you mentioned. I don't want to be that type of person, and I know that if I was consistently feeling guilty of playing games, there was good reason for me to stop. I even purposely messing up save files to stop myself from playing, I definitely was not in control of my habits, the game had control of me. I keep thinking of what lifelong goals I want to have, and something I know for certain that I want to be helping people every day as that is something which I find fulfillment in. I would want to play to my strengths for a career but I will find my purpose in time. Something I heard from a podcast from 'The Art of Charm' this afternoon is to forgive yourself for when you do something wrong and just pick up from where you left off with the attitude to do better. I will make sure to put this perspective to use when going through those days that are a slog.

Attempt II Day 4 Its past my 'bed time' so I'll make it quick. I disappointingly didn't meet my running goal or work goal today; it was rainy most of the day so I didn't do the morning run and didn't go to the library to study and so didn't get the desired quantity of study done. I have the same goals for tomorrow, same penalties and rewards. I have been mostly confused during the day, mulling over whether my decision to quit gaming is well founded or not. After some meditation I was able to study better and lean towards the idea that I can improve myself: I have tried and tested what gaming is like but not for self improving for at least 3 months. If anybody can pitch in some related ideas on why quitting is better in the long/short term I would really appreciate it! I downloaded some podcasts, so I will put those to good use tomorrow! I am grateful for the game quitting gurus that hover through the community I am grateful for being able to play Settlers of Catan the board game again with the family this afternoon, I won my first game in ages! I am grateful for the consistent flow of suggestions that are posted on the forum!

This feels like a good place to chime in. I've been reading up and I have to say, Alex you've been doing a great job! I totally get feeling guilty, but it's going to take time. I found it very intriguing that you've mentioned Dark Souls 2. I originally went to school for game design but swapped year later into english lit because as I discovered I'm just awful at math, but I digress. Lets dig a little deeper into why the souls games are appealing. I played Dark Souls thoroughly and only beat 2 once. Here's what I've learned from it: The game itself doesn't want to hold your hand. Of course it wants you to finish it and enjoy the content but it's by all means not easy. Let's apply this same concept to life. Boss fights in the game can be brutal to the point where others would throw their controller in frustration, but others stick it out and figure out ways to succeed. Of course it's a video game and the rules and path are more or less set in front of you, but I thought it was rather sobering that it was a great representation of the path we all struggle on. Ultimately we're here because games have affected us Negatively now more so positively. And I'm sorry if using games to point out some of the positive things may stur up some cravings, but it's about learning from the mistakes to succeed Thank you Octsober, it actually was a very sobering thought to be reminded that life holds challenges similar to games, but that the path is not set out before us in real life. I was also needed to be reminded that gaming as an adult generally has more negative effects than positive, which is why I searched out game quitters in the first place. I'll do my best to learn from my mistake and move on

Nice to see you making progress Jay! I'd suggest you number the days you have went without games, it will help motivate you to do the full 90 days. In terms of reading, please read The Slight Edge, it goes hand in hand with the goals you are setting up.

Attempt II Day 3 Achieved my goals set yesterday, apart from the fact that I didn't time all my studying but I did about 6 x 50 minutes which is still a big improvement from yesterday. I ran a slightly longer distance, but did so in 14 minutes and 0.06 seconds compared to 15 minutes yesterday. I am making another diary entry, so I can tick that off the list. I managed to get the family to play Settlers of Catan together, which was fun despite me losing by a long shot. Goals met, I'm set! Now for some more goals for tomorrow, and will try implementing penalties for not completing tasks for extra motivation. By the way the generosity fund is a penalty I thought of a while ago when going through respawn, but didn't put into practice. It means that if I don't do the required task then I need to put $5 of my own money into a fund that I will later use on spending on friends or random people to start a conversation as a random act of kindness. I'll try trick myself into desiring really lame rewards for completing the tasks, we'll see how it goes. Goals: Do 7 x 50 minute blocks of study, timed and recorded this time! Otherwise $5 to add to generosity fund. Reward: Extra museli bar in my lunchRun a new course that will take 20 minutes to run. ^^ Same penaltyGet in bed and start reading by 8:20 - If I don't do this I will add $5 to my generosity fund. Reward: fruit snackI had cravings to play Europa Universalis 4 this afternoon, but strangely I unintentionally subdued it by looking at completed games, and saw the amount of time invested in these completed games (about 900 hours+) which scared me I suppose. I had multiple opportunities to get to know new people today, but I didn't think about the risk factor like I should have. No risk to health = safe, and talking to people develops social skills. Fear of embarrassment needs to be ignored because embarrassment is temporary. I am grateful for the list of podcasts, motivational videos and music, and books I have accumulated to help me quit games. i am grateful for socks. My feet just get cold all the time without them. I am grateful that there are others willing to help me along the path to success.