Day 5 and 6 behind - excited to begin seeing a significant continuity here.  Right now, with all that's going on around the world (and US in particular), it's been light and easy, keeping myself away from escapist tactics. Yes, I am stressed, but because of how different the source and quality of stress is, I'm dealing with it differently. Simultaneously, I'm continuing to create habits that foster my spirituality. Crucially, however, I am still not working towards my passions. And I want to, dearly.

Haha now that you bring the construct normalcy into the picture, I realize that I came out (in a bunch of different ways, not just queerness) once I quit, even while so many people I knew continued gaming. It was so liberating to feel different!

Same here, that helped tremendously! So glad to see you change in ways profound, richter! Let's keep moving ❤️ 

Hey, almost a month has passed and I haven't even started. Nothing has changed. And I changed my attitude... again.   I'm quitting watching and reading various motivational stories, what I should do and how I should do it. I'm stopping listening to other people and starting to listen to myself. I used to be very nice, but it's a flaw that causes more harm than good. It's better to be nice only when necessary. I don't have any rules yet; there are just three states - better than yesterday, the same as yesterday, and worse than yesterday. The first sentence is positive, the second - if it follows a better day, it's good; if it follows a worse day, it's bad, and the third is the worst. If there's something to do, I do it; I try my best, but if it doesn't work out, I won't get down if I tried. It's better than doing nothing or doing something half-heartedly. And yea, tomorrow is the first day, nothing will stop me anymore.  

April 26 (Friday) Gratitude: ~ restful sleep, but decided at 4am not to use my 6am alarm to get up for a day out (my cold might still be able to transmit) ~ ^ said cold is getting better, I think ~ I got everything I'm 'working' on sort of arranged on my table + desk ~ remembered to come here after some cravings and job applications __________________ As I've noticed, feeling naturally high made me want to play and chat with people on the RPG, but I know that only lasts like 20-30 minutes to an hour if I'm lucky, before slaving away at it for some coveted pixels. The ratio of discomfort/agitation/obsession to real pleasure is like 9 to 1. Not quite worth it, hey? It was a real journey today, starting out combing the job sites in the morning-afternoon for a few hours; going from 'there's nowhere I really want to be' to 'I could do and enjoy that, with some learning and effort, tbh'.  I haven't gone visiting with a physical resume as I planned this week because of my cold, but I got some more leisurely reading in last night. I appreciated being allowed to do that and having the world outside plus the world inside is an incredible privilege. I'm trying not to waste it. Good luck this weekend all, ~ Matt