It's been a while, but I felt quite a lot of craving over last few days so I decided to comeback here.
It's been almost 2 years since I've gave up gaming, the attempt that I've taken when I started journaling here turned out to be succesful. In addition I did manage to also quit scrolling, porn etc.
It had a massive impact on me, I re-evaluated my life. Long story short - I ended a long-time relationship, that suddenly stopped working when I wasn't gaming anymore. Then I moved back to my home country for a few months, I've found new girlfriend and moved in with her quite quickly. I did couple of things that I've always wanted to, like a hitchhiking trip, we visited few other places that I've always wanted to.
In the meantime I had 2 major relapses - first about year ago, when during quite rough period at my work, I saw my new gf playing one of the newer versions of games that I used to play a lot - it quickly ended with firstly trying it out on her laptop, and soon buying this game on my own and going back all-in playing 12-14h a day. The good thing is that at least she could find out herself, how serious this is for me and she was very supportive, and helped me a lot to get out. She also did follow me in my struggle - trying to cut off doomscrolling, uninstalled instagram etc. which was her problem to some extent. It feels great to actually grow together.
The second relapse was at the end of October - I was very overwhelmed by my work, it was really a terrible time for me, we had some problems with finding a nice apartment back in Austria, stayed in our friends place with very little natural light. I did start playing again, with it's peak when my gf went away for a week and I ended up playing for 16h+ hours everyday. I did manage to quit and bounce back quite fast.
Since that time my life did a 180 degree turn, last 3 months I was very productive, very succesful at work, socializing a lot, great time during Christmas, a nice skiing trip with friends on the New years time.
Overall life is great - but over last few days I started to feel a lot of craving again.
It feels a little like in the story of an alcoholic celebrating 2 years of sobriety with a drink. Hopefully writing it all down will have some therapeutic properties. I'm planing to focus on getting sunlight in the morning and some physical activity in the next few days.
I'm gonna stay strong!
By
Marrr ·
