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Wednesday evening: I watched several free documentaries this past week and a half, including The Secret Life of the Brain (2002 - yeah, I know, but it was like learning a little bit back in a simpler time). In order to keep the viewer interested I imagine, each of the five episodes in the series focused on one to three problems that present in the brain, such as Alzheimer's in the elderly. I haven't usually watched such things outside of school, and watching real people who would have agreed to be filmed and 'got on with it' was like an 'on' switch for the heart-brain for awhile. I did 'have' to share my attention between them and some noob-gaming though. Today has really made me wonder how much I need to balance visuals, sensory inputs and everything else in order to feel challenged/at least competent in brain-use. For example, I'm uncommonly good at ordering my movements (or 'pathfinding') between people on the street, and keeping an ear out or two. Maybe that's just a luxury of not being quite as distracted by my phone. A problem did finally present itself today in the form of an aggressively-moving (I don't know how else to put it) young adult, with a few doubtless moments. Had I gone straight to the park where I met him, 2 hours earlier (instead of settling in for a game session for a bit), we may not have crossed paths. As it happened, he marched around the small park area performing energetic pull-ups, spitting water from the fountain, and twirling a large stick, which was eventually pointed a foot from my face. I told him embracingly (he had no English words for me or anyone else) that it was 'impressive' (what he had achieved - that is, prompting me to semi-calmly consider my mortality). It's that sort of thing which makes me ask where my luck really comes from. I needed the cup of tea I made post-cleaning with Wheatbiscuit Senior, and what comes from the five minutes of drinking is often the formed habit of signing into some activity on my computer (reading a book, or my phone in bed risks spilling the tea I hold simultaneously). It seems like I'll eventually have to stop procrastinating with games - but it's not just daily workouts I'm doing that with; I'd like to master weekly chores (such as deep-cleaning on my own) and socialising, with the potential to make additional close friends. I just need to balance my need to relax/reset with mindful movements towards those goals.  In any case, I was as impressed with the young man's restraint (he didn't hit me or steal my backpack) as much as my own calm - especially as I only performed about 1/3 of the repetitions I wanted (low carbohydrate afternoon). So I walked back home at least having broken a sweat, saying to myself that I may as well maintain calm in the short to medium-term. I never really thought about projecting that consciously. Well, that's all. Cleaning part two is due tomorrow. I wish for the strength to continue caring as much as today. 🙂 Peace, ~ Matt Gratitude: ~ Mechanical yet kind interaction at another grocery store ~ Protein powder (and water) still tasted good (ice added) ~ Only one stress-added comment at the end of cleaning from WS 😛  ~ Not being scarred by a stick/tree branch, and having enough breath left to say hello!

Entry 1.9 Weeks until average life expectancy: 2762 (80th birthday)  This week mainly progress on German, Continuing workout routine Day 228: No Useless Videos Day 1060: Sticking to Food schedule Day 663: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 41: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  -10 German concentrated units -3 Pomodoros -Having put a goal to maintain myself within schedule with 10 minutes delay at most when setting goals in the morning 1 Thing I could do better -Since I got delayed the first time while eating lunhc, I assume I could have prevented that by starting to eat while I'm preparing dinner, this could have prevented the delay. Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 232

Entry 31.8 (Written on 1.9)  Weeks until average life expectancy: 2763 (80th birthday)  Day 228: No Useless Videos Day 1060: Sticking to Food schedule Day 663: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 41: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  -Booking airplane ticket -Long 75% effort run -At the very least 4 conc. units of German 1 Thing I could do better -Wake up at designated time, probably sleeping with opening windows made the urge to sleep stronger? Maybe should'a woken up a bit earlier to close the windows? Then the heat would give more push to get out of bed? Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 231

Monday afternoon: 'Relapses suck' doesn't quite do the process of recommitment to an electronic game justice.  Today, I finished the levelling system on the game I've regularly slaved at for 15 years (back then was when I had started to daydream about repetitive visual clicking goals). Aside from making a time goal of it at all, I shouldn't have built up the moment of fireworks in my mind, or paid attention to those who questioned/congratulated me on the endeavour. I had what was probably a kind of panic attack, because I couldn't figure out how to record or capture my screen for said fireworks, upon reaching the last-to-maximum level. It's a strange thing, having a mental condition that sees you avoid many pitfalls that an average-yet-healthy citizen might not, but being able to become trapped in routines that regularly neglect either the body or mind for some periods of time. This one involved my body, I think. In short, I haven't met/known a person, especially now, who can honestly say that such a goal/journey is worth it/worthwhile - if only because it only takes one poorly-timed catastrophe to wreck a person's situation; or a million, steady mouse-clicks. Glad to be here to explain that. Peace for the week, and start of a new season! ~ Matt Gratitude: ~ My dishwasher came apart, so I began to enjoy a handwashing task ~ I saw a manager-type at the grocer's holding it together well, after overhearing him discussing sick leave for mental health ~ Obviously, the climactic anticlimax of a fully-levelled official game profile - not to be imitated!  ~ Reading a sci-fi novel once again for the first time since I bought the series, during my 2023 detox

Entry 30.8  Weeks until average life expectancy: 2763 (80th birthday)  Day 227: No Useless Videos Day 1059: Sticking to Food schedule Day 662: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00) Day 40: Being in bed before 23:15 3 Things I did well, no matter how small  -Monthly Review -1 Hour German Lesson in the morning -At the very least 1 Pomodoro of Marketing =/ 1 Thing I could do better -Limit mywself to 10 minutes of flight checking. Once I allowed myself to go over, the schedule got out the window Gaming (Death, Slavery, Regret, Disease) - 5 Yan (Life, Individuality, Freedom, Purpose, Self-Fulfillment) - 230