Thanks for sharing this so honestly. I’m really glad you paused, didn’t relapse, and chose to be around friends—that matters more than it might feel right now. What you described sounds incredibly heavy, and it makes complete sense that your system hit overload with that many commitments stacked at once. Recognizing that and deliberately cutting things back is a strong, grounded move, not a failure.
Living with BPD already means emotions can come in waves; trying to juggle work, a master’s program, multiple languages, certifications, strict avoidance rules, and everything else at the same time would push almost anyone to the edge. Giving yourself permission to simplify—to focus on what’s essential and let the rest wait—is real self-care. Reading just for enjoyment, keeping your core responsibilities, and protecting your energy is a healthy reset.
Also, 24 days is not “by the way.” It’s real progress. Even on a rough day, you stayed safe and adapted, and that counts.
Be gentle with yourself over the next stretch. Think of this phase as damage control, not optimization—like putting down dog pee pads when life gets messy so things don’t soak into places that are harder to clean later. You can always add things back when your footing feels steadier.
If days like yesterday start piling up, it could really help to loop in a therapist, trusted person, or support line—having backup doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re taking yourself seriously. You’re doing the right thing by reassessing and choosing sustainability. Keep going, one manageable piece at a time.
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genzbulk ·